CHAPTER 18
“H ey,” Elisa said into the phone.
“Hi. Are you busy?” Myra asked.
“Um…” She looked over at Gwen, who was staring at her with a lifted eyebrow, knowing exactly who she was talking to. “Not really.”
“Not really?” Myra asked. “Should I call back later?”
“No,” she said quickly. “It’s just that Gwen is here.”
“Oh, okay. Then, yeah, I’ll call back later.”
“No. What did you want to talk about?”
“Nothing. Well, that’s not true.” Myra chuckled a little.
“I was hoping that we could set up our next date, and I was sitting at my desk, bored with staring at emails, so I thought I could call you and ask if you wanted to go out tonight. I know I need to get the work done at the house, but I promise, I will. I–”
“I’d love to go out with you tonight.”
Gwen wiggled her eyebrows at her, and Elisa slapped her on the knee.
“Yeah? Okay. Well, I’ll see you after work, then. I’ll just shower and change and come over to get you. Is that okay?”
“That sounds good,” she said.
“Okay. Well, I’ll let you go now, and I’ll see you later.”
“I’ll see you later,” Elisa said with a smile and hung up.
“You’ll see her later, huh?” Gwen teased her. “Is she your new girlfriend ?” she asked in a high-pitched voice.
“Stop it,” Elisa replied, laughing. “We’ve had one date.”
“And you kissed her.”
“She kissed me , actually. But I kissed her back. I think we both leaned in for that second kiss, though, and I know we both did when we kissed goodnight.”
“You told me you kissed. You didn’t mention that there were multiple kisses,” Gwen said. “Spill.”
“About my first kiss with a woman? ”
“Kiss es , apparently.”
“It was great. They all were. We just sat on the sofa and made out like teenagers for a while. I’ve never done that. It felt like my parents might walk in on us at any moment. And, Gwen, she literally lifted me off the ground and put me on the counter. It was so hot.”
“She picked you up?”
“Yes. She stood there between my legs and kissed me, and if I didn’t know I was gay already, I’d definitely know it for sure now. When she dropped me off at home, I actually invited her to come in, knowing what I was really asking.”
“Wait. You asked her to come in? You didn’t tell me that. You called me and told me to get over here because my idiot brother came here yesterday. You’re burying the lead, Elisa.”
“No, sadly, I am not,” she said with a sigh. “That, unfortunately, is the lead, and I was a total mess during my date with Myra because of it.”
“You just told me it was a good date.”
Elisa nodded and told her the whole story of how she had gotten picked up by Myra and had nearly ruined their first date from the start.
She talked about the cigars and crab cakes and how she had, apparently, moved away from Myra on the bench without even realizing that she had done it.
Then, she told Gwen how she’d kissed Myra on the cheek when they’d said goodnight the first time.
“I hate my brother.” Gwen gritted her teeth. “I know we’re related, so there’s that familial love thing, but he somehow managed to be out of your life and still ruin things for you.”
“But I didn’t let him,” Elisa reminded her.
“I found my strength to go over and apologize, and now, we’re going out again.
” She smiled. “It was difficult, though. I had a hard time sleeping after Myra dropped me off the second time. Part of that was because my heart was racing. I almost had sex with a woman for the first time.”
“She was into it? ”
“Oh, yeah. I could see it in her eyes that she considered it and had to really force herself to go home instead.”
“That bodes well,” Gwen said.
“It does. But I couldn’t really sleep because I’m worried.”
“About the kids? What did he say to you, exactly?”
Gwen shifted a little on the sofa, and not for the first time, Elisa was glad that she had moved to New Orleans and had a friend in Gwen.
She was also grateful that Gwen didn’t have a demanding job and was able to pick her hours, for the most part.
She had regulars whom she took care of, but they could arrange to hang out around the times she was walking the dogs or stopping by to feed the birds, the cats, and all the other animals Gwen took care of when their owners were out of town or otherwise needed help.
“It’s a long story, and I don’t remember some of it now.
I was shocked when he showed up. I think that’s why he did it.
He could’ve called, but that would’ve meant I could have hung up on him or not answered and been more prepared for whatever he wanted to say when I called back.
He didn’t text to tell me that he was coming or even ask if I would be home.
He wanted to catch me off guard. It’s been part of his whole thing ever since we separated.
I’m not convinced he brought all those women home because he wanted to sleep with them.
He could have done that anywhere, yet he always made sure I was in the main house when they’d come walking down the stairs together. He wanted me to see them.”
“Why is he this way?” Gwen asked the seemingly rhetorical question.
“Good question. Something for his potential therapist to figure out. He told me that the twins wanted to live with him and that, basically, there was nothing I could do about it because they’re eighteen now.
And he’s right, sort of. They’re technically still my dependents, but they’re also adults now, according to the law, so if he says yes, they can stay there for the next couple of weeks and on all their breaks.
AJ doesn’t have preseason practice like we assumed he would because of some coach issue, so they’ll both go to their orientations, but then, they’re at school until October.
He’s saying they’ll stay with him for their fall break because all their friends will be back home, and they won’t want to be two hours away. ”
“It’s just a two-hour drive; not that big of a deal. Why can’t they come here for a day or two and then stay there?”
“That was the plan. They get a week off for Thanksgiving, so I thought they would be here for the actual holiday and maybe a little before, but I expected them to want to go to their dad’s to spend time with their friends for at least a few days. I wouldn’t stop them.”
“I know you wouldn’t,” Gwen said with a straight smile.
“But the kicker is that he told me a solution to my problem would be to just move back in.”
“What?”
“Into the guest house. I could just move there full-time and give up this house and this experiment of me being on my own. I think that’s what he believes this is.
He didn’t say it outright, but now that I’ve gotten a little space from yesterday, that’s what I think.
I could move back in and see the kids whenever they’re on break, or I could stay there when they’re on break so that the kids wouldn’t have to go back and forth. ”
Gwen tilted her head in thought.
“What?” Elisa asked.
“Nothing. I was just thinking.”
“About what, exactly?”
“So, I mentioned earlier that I hate my brother, right?”
“Yes.”
“But… Staying there on their breaks might not be a bad idea. It’s a short drive, and it’s a full guest house back there. You could cook Thanksgiving dinner there, and if you want guests, I could go to your dinner and skip the one the parents always host. I’m sure Arch will go to that one anyway.”
“You think I should move back there?”
“No, not move. Stay . There’s a difference. It would be a week, maybe. Right?”
“They get three weeks off at Christmas. ”
“Okay. Well, maybe don’t stay for the full three weeks unless you want to, but you’d be able to spend time with the kids, and you’d have privacy in the guest house.
You’d get to see them for their full breaks and not have to worry about them driving back and forth or deciding not to come to see you at all because a friend is having a party they don’t want to miss or something. ”
“I don’t know, Gwen. It’s giving him what he wants,” she replied.
“So? If you get what you want and the kids benefit in the process, does it matter? Maybe that’s the best outcome, even: you and the kids are happier, and he has to see that.”
“What about Myra?”
“What about her?”
“Well, it’s not about her specifically. It might not work out with us, but I’m kind of hoping I will have a girlfriend someday soon, and I’d want to be with her on the holidays or at least around them.”
“So? Bring her there.”
“I can’t. He told me I have to park in the back, and I’m not allowed to bring women there because he doesn’t want the kids to be exposed to that. Those are the rules of me staying there.”
“He said what ?” Gwen asked as she stood up and instantly began pacing.
“I’ll fucking kill him. What is stuck so far up his ass that he thinks the world revolves around him?
How did my parents make him and then make me , too?
Annabelle is pretentious and has her moments, but even she is not this bad, and they ’re twins.
They share, like, most of their DNA, right?
I’m a little too pissed off right now to remember how twins work.
Fuck him, though. I’ll call him right now and tell him to go fuck himself.
The world isn’t his to own. You are not his to own.
He can’t use the kids as a weapon to get what he wants, which is, apparently, control over you. ”
“You forgot how twins work?” Elisa asked, trying to make light of the situation.
“Fraternal ones, yeah,” Gwen said. “I’m calling his ass. ”
“No, you’re not,” Elisa replied as Gwen pulled her cell phone out of her back pocket. “It won’t do any good. He’d just tell you to stay out of it.”
“He blames me,” Gwen stated, calming down a little.
“Huh?”
“For you leaving.” She sat back down next to Elisa.
“He thinks I persuaded you to do it, convinced you that you were gay somehow because that, in his twisted mind, is how being gay works. You and I became friends more than just relatives, and you knew that I was gay, so you came out to me, and he thinks I made you gay or, at least, gave you the idea to leave him to explore your gayness.”
“You had nothing to do with that. I mean, I’ll admit that seeing you so happy in a relationship back then did help me see what I wanted, but that’s it, and that’s not your fault.”
“I know,” Gwen replied, pressing a hand to her chest. “I think, deep down, he knows it, too, but that would be him admitting things to himself that he’ll probably never admit.
He’s been given everything he’s ever wanted.
I mean, he even got you because his mommy convinced you to marry him, not work, and just take care of him and the kids when they were little. She literally gave you to him.”
“That’s not exactly how–”
“I don’t mean that to make it sound like he owned you, Elisa, or that you had no choice in the matter, but she put you in a position where you didn’t have much of an alternative if you wanted the kids to grow up with their father.
And he took it that way; that you were his and that you were handed to him.
” Gwen sighed. “I know you think that he never really liked you and that it was just sex to him, and then there were the kids, but I do think he did like you. I’m not sure it was ever love, but I think he liked you enough to ask you out and go out with you a few times.
I don’t know about the sex part, but you were his first. It’s not like he slept around with every girl before you.
So, I think he liked you, and when he got you, he felt like everything was as it should be.
He got to stay in school. He got the wife and kids and the white picket fence surrounding a fancy house.
He got the career. Then, he got to cheat.
He got a wife who essentially gave him permission to sleep around, and that’s the fantasy for a lot of dudes, I think.
He had you at home to manage responsibilities while he could do whatever he wanted.
” Gwen took a deep breath. “But then, you had the urge to finally be happy, to have your own life, and that doesn’t gel with his fantasy, the ideal he’s got in his mind for how his life is supposed to work.
Elisa, you don’t have to stay with him. I’m sorry I even suggested that.
I didn’t know. I thought you could just have your own personal hotel whenever you wanted it, and you’d get to rub your new life in his face, and the kids would benefit, but I’m sorry. I should’ve known.”
Elisa had tears in her eyes because Gwen was right. She hadn’t thought to put all of that together herself, but Gwen had known Archie for a lot longer than she had. They were six years apart, but they had still grown up in the same house, with the same parents, and had been taught the same things.
“It’s okay,” she said as she wiped her eyes.
“No, it’s not. I’m sorry he’s doing this to you. You don’t deserve it, and I wish I could smack him out of it somehow and get him to realize how wrong he is about everything. I just don’t think that would work.”
“It won’t, no. It’s hard to remember that far back after everything, but I don’t think he was this bad when we first met. It was short-lived because I found out I was pregnant, but he was nice to me in the beginning, I think. That’s why I decided to stay.”
“I’m sure he was. But a lot of abusers are.”
Elisa’s eyes widened, and she said, “He never–”
“Not physically, maybe. But, Elisa, in just about every other way.” Gwen nodded.
Elisa swallowed and replied, “I’ve never… thought of it like that before.”
Gwen took her hand, squeezed it in Elisa’s lap, and said softly, “I’m here. You know that, right?”
Elisa nodded.