Chapter 19 #2
Creed gave a half shrug. “I’m a shifter and I didn’t think of this. Other shifter docs didn’t think it. Luckily, Monroe took what I said seriously and he made it clear the situation—it has to be like now.” He gave me a destroyed look. “I’m so sorry. I wanted us to have more time—we don’t—”
“Don’t you dare suggest that, Creed Maddox,” I snapped. “Especially after I trusted you enough to give you my body and heart! We will see Monroe at once and get the steps—right away.” I pressed my lips together when he blinked at me. “Move your butt!”
“You basically just confessed you loved him,” my guard muttered under her breath.
“Well, that shouldn’t be a shocker even if I’m too broken to handle it well,” I grumbled as I shoved Creed towards the door. “Creed, you are too big for me to move and not hurt. Move it!”
“Right, yeah, okay—right,” he mumbled, and for the first time wasn’t graceful, tripping over his feet even.
He was running on autopilot as we drove to where Monroe was. I didn’t even ask how he’d gotten to my appointment when I’d had our vehicle. He knew how to use the transit system and was… Normal with those things.
Or those Uber things maybe?
Either way, we were in front of Monroe faster than Creed was ready for.
“Walk us through it again, if you please,” I said bluntly. “We’re now at the moment and it was all overwhelming last time. Plus, there could be updates.”
“And now you’re more worried than ever,” he said gently, giving me a knowing look.
Yes, of course I was. My feelings for Creed were deeper and I was more invested.
“You’re right that we’ve added a few things,” one of the witches agreed. “One is a potion for you.” She gave me a sad look when I frowned. “Given Creed’s condition has progressed, we’ve agreed that—your fear and trauma could be a problem.”
“You’re not fucking drugging my mate,” Creed snarled, his lion eyes flashing instead of his human ones.
Which shocked me. I couldn’t even curb my reaction but then managed to shake out of it. “Shush, you. I’m the boss and you behave.” I ignored his hurt look and focused on the witch. “Explain please.” I swallowed loudly as she did.
Basically, they were worried his lion wouldn’t complete the mating bond if he sensed I wasn’t willing physically and was someone who didn’t want sex… That was too gray an area with a “wounded” lion to risk given the state Creed was in. So it wasn’t like they were going to knock me out.
That wouldn’t have worked either.
It was akin to that pot brownie, but it wasn’t guesswork for dosing. It was for my anxiety, and honestly even if I was fine with us being intimate again or wanted it, I should have had it because of the change in Creed’s condition. They all looked at me like they agreed when I said that.
Especially Creed.
There was also something for any pain in case Creed got a bit aggressive after he bit me. The witch was clear that was normal with shifters who weren’t in Creed’s state. Honestly, there was no way to know, and it would keep me from being a problem.
No, she didn’t phrase it that way, but… Really that was the message I needed to hear.
Beyond that, it was a matter of cleansing. I knew nothing about magic, but I understood the analogy of prepping an area to paint. They were taking precautions to unlock Creed from anything else that could interfere with the mating magic unlocking the other magic that kept his lion bound.
Fair enough. I honestly didn’t need to know beyond that.
I just had to be a bit obedient while we were intimate and let him bite the back of my neck or shoulder when it was time. Do the blood exchange of vampires like I needed for my side.
I could more than handle that even if it would be—even if I wasn’t ready. I’d endured and handled much, much worse.
And I cared for Creed, so it was worth it in the end.
There was a list of things he needed to do now to prepare. He had to fast for twelve hours. Bathe a certain way… A list. Tonics. Salts.
It all made my head hurt.
I had matters to handle now. We were using someone’s residence with over ten acres of land so we could be a bit secluded and his lion would have property to think of as his while adjusting.
Everyone was in agreement that was better than risking a problem with all the female vampires of my family—and the staff—we’d rescued.
And the place had just become available, so I had to get us packed and at least necessities brought over. Grocery shop—adult matters that couldn’t be pushed back easily.
Rooms for our guards situated even.
He grabbed my wrist when I turned to leave, his lion flashing in his eyes. “We haven’t discussed where you want the bite.”
“Where doesn’t…” I trailed off when he growled.
“It’s important to a shifter,” someone warned.
I nodded that I heard and searched his eyes before deciding to speak to his lion. “Then explain it to your mate, don’t just growl and chastise. I’ve been too nice to you to deserve that.”
Instantly, the tension left Creed and his mood changed. He slowly leaned in and gave me a soft kiss. “I’m sorry. You’re going to have to be sharp with him like that. He’s…”
“He’s scared.” I chuckled when he frowned.
“He’s scared, Creed, just as we are. And he won’t understand it as much as we do since he’s an animal even if a shifter’s animal.
Even I know this.” I snuck a quick kiss which always surprised him.
“I would prefer the back of my neck so I can cover it on formal occasions with my hair.”
I realized how horrible that was when he instantly let me go and people around us froze.
I swallowed loudly and moved closer to him, moving my shaky hand to his chest and waiting until he met my gaze.
“This is scary for me too. I need understanding. You’re talking about an actual scar, and I’ve spent centuries hiding mine.
I cannot have this one—even if a blessing—always on display.
It’s too personal and I need my personal to be mine. ”
He searched my eyes and nodded. “Understood. That’s more than fair. The ring will be enough of a message and blend.”
I blinked after him when he turned back to Monroe.
What ring?
My guard chuckled, so apparently I was silly and hadn’t thought of wedding bands, but they knew I was getting one? Yes, well, I’d been more focused on Creed living through all of this and not destroying each other because we were trying to save the other.
Silly me.
It took hours and hours and a lot of help.
The security company was wonderful in getting us more personnel faster than planned since the property was expansive.
Part of the deal to use the estate was I paid for some security upgrades by the professionals.
Alexis had worked out a wonderful deal so I—nor Ellie—would somehow be indebted.
I was exhausted and the last thing I wanted was to mate. I felt horrible because this was a once-in-a-lifetime monumental event to a shifter and I was gritting my teeth through it.
The witch said it was actually better if I was tired because between that and the potion, I might fall asleep after and his lion wouldn’t get too rambunctious.
She had arrived about an hour before to help me prepare as well.
I didn’t have magic to supervise, but there were a few things we were handling to make sure I didn’t interfere with Creed’s unbinding.
It was just a precaution, and the witch admitted it was over the top, but if soaking in a fucking herbal salt bath made it easier on him, why not? Her words even.
Smart woman.
So I did, and I was waiting on the strange bed for him in a white robe like a virginal offering.
“This is so fucking awkward and they’re all close in case I go feral, so that’s awesome,” he acknowledged with an odd chuckle. But then he was blinking back tears and faced away from me. “I’m sorry I can’t give you the perfect mating you deserve, Aurora. I’m sorry you’re having another…”
I flinched at him mentioning that at a time he shouldn’t. I swallowed a sigh and remembered how young and alone in the world he’d been. “Creed, the two aren’t remotely in the same universe. I was sold and treated like property. I would have fled if I could and not watched like the prisoner I was.”
“Right, sorry,” he mumbled.
I was a bit too relaxed and my brain sluggish, but then I remembered the advice the witch and one of the female shifter guards had given me. “Make me yours, my darling. Forget everything else and let’s start our new life healed.”
Wow, some women really understood men because almost instantly I was looking at a very different Creed, and even if I clearly had all of his focus in that moment, I wasn’t his prey. I felt safe.
Oddly enough, and I didn’t think it was the potion.
No, it was him. I knew in my soul he would back out if I’d needed him to. Even if it meant his death, my Creed would have backed out so I wasn’t hurt.
And that was how I was able to find the strength to give him my body and soul that night. It was better than the last time and there were moments I enjoyed, so I believed Alexis and Marie that it could get better. That maybe one day I would truly enjoy being intimate with a man.
If that man was Creed. Only him.
The bite hurt. It was ghastly even, but each lick after helped, and he was crushed when I was shaking from the pain. He swore he hadn’t known and he didn’t think that was normal.
Just in case, I was extra gentle when we did our blood exchange and he thanked me for wanting to make him my mate. My whole body flushed, but I also felt guilty because I couldn’t say the same things. He kept telling me he loved me and we would be happy and I simply agreed or nodded.
I really needed more therapy and to heal faster.
Was that even possible?
I didn’t think so.
But what happened next probably would take a lot of therapy to recover from… And for both of us.