14. Chapter 14
A s I placed the last chair in the circle, I watched Sai rearrange them unnecessarily. “I’m so glad you got your cast off in time to help me.”
Sai gave me a side-eye glance but said nothing as she continued arranging the chairs until they were perfectly spaced.
“I really appreciate your help. You don’t have to be here, so it means a lot,” I said, standing a bit closer.
Sai sighed loudly and stood upright. “Stop. It’s not about you, drama queen.”
I’m the drama queen? I suppressed a chuckle. “Right, it’s about … the store. Bookshop will benefit from this in sales, exposure—”
Sai rolled her eyes. “It’s about literature. Why do you think I work here? I’m not like you. I don’t care about money. I care about literature .” Then, she dramatically turned in the other direction toward the snack table.
I pinched the bridge of my nose. Being around Sai was difficult even on a good day, and she seemed agitated today. And her accusation— Do I seem like I just care about money? I had never felt like that sort of person. My mother was, certainly. But not me .
Of course, the business of books was a business , so there was that.
Books had to be sold, and that involved money.
I wanted to help authors make money. And all the people involved, but especially authors, because they were the real magic.
And maybe they wouldn’t become rich—most of them wouldn’t—but they could make enough to live on, perhaps.
Or enough to make them want to keep writing and producing their art for the world to read and enjoy. The real magic.
Lost in my reverie, I didn’t notice when a short, round woman walked up to the edge of the circle of chairs where I was still standing. “Hi, is this the book club?”
I smiled and stuck out my hand. “It is. I’m Annie, and I’m the host tonight.”
“Carlina,” said the woman, probably in her early 40s. “Oh look, I’m the first one here! I’m always early to everything. I like to get the best seat.”
I checked my watch and frowned. It was only one minute before 7:00, the starting time.
Shouldn’t more people be arriving by now?
Reading my mind, Carlina put a hand on my arm and then drew it away. “Sorry, I’m a touchy-feely type. Don’t worry, darling. I bet you’ll have a full house, but no one wants to be the first one to arrive since it’s a new group. Well, no one except me.” She cackled and sat down.
Sai returned and scanned the area. She gave me a scathing look and took out her phone.
At 7:01, two women wandered over with full shopping bags and excitement in their eyes. “Oh, are you having a book club?”
My face fell a bit when I realized they weren’t intended participants. “Yes, it is … the first meeting of a new book club. We’re waiting for everyone to arrive.”
The women looked at each other, communicating with their eyes and joined hands. Then, one of them said, “Do you have room for a couple more? We would love to join. We were just talking about this the other day. We love books and we love talking. ”
I nodded, trying to appear cheerful. “I think we’ll have room. We can always get more chairs.”
Or remove some, so it doesn’t look so pathetic .
How did I fail so spectacularly at marketing this simple FREE thing?
Finally, at 7:04, people started streaming in, some with coffees or other drinks purchased from the cafe.
Most didn’t even ask if this was the book club; they just took a seat in the circle.
I exhaled in relief and gazed around at the diversity of people in attendance.
Only one man though. Well, more of a boy, actually. He looked about Sai’s age.
Speaking of Sai, where is she?
I spotted her off to the side, her eyes darting between her phone and the young man. Very interesting. A crush? Then she disappeared.
As people filled in the seats, my smile widened. I decided to go in search of Sai and more chairs. But first, I introduced myself quickly to those gathered and told them I’d return soon.
I found Sai lingering in the back room where the extra chairs were stored. “Sai, what are you doing? You disappeared rather mysteriously. And now you’re just standing around?”
Sai glared at me. “I’m not … I … the chairs.” As her voice faltered, her eyes went downcast, and she mumbled, “Sorry. Just got distracted.”
I narrowed my eyes but softened my tone. “It’s OK. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine!” she snapped, her old fire returning.
“OK then. Let’s bring out some more chairs. Lots of people have shown up. I’m so excited!”
Sai rolled her eyes but helped me grab as many chairs as we could.
When we returned, I asked her to fix the chair arrangement because I’d forgotten my contact sheet and needed to retrieve it from the back office.
Hakeem had wanted me to pass along a sheet so everyone could sign up for the bookstore’s email list .
Contact sheet in hand, I was walking along a row of bookshelves close to the book club circle when suddenly my heart caught in my throat, and my feet stopped moving.
It can’t be.
That’s … that’s …
My chest felt tight as I tried to breathe and form a coherent thought.
What … is … he … doing here?
I guess he’s buying books.
He’s by the circle. My circle.
No, not the book club. NOT MY BOOK CLUB!
Why is he so damn attractive? I’m not the only one staring at him.
Oh no. I’m …
Staring.
At him.
And he’s watching me stare at him.
Besides my bulging wide eyes, I couldn’t imagine what awful expression he was seeing on my face at that moment.
Deer in the headlights? Hungry like a wolf? Lovestruck like an …
In panic, I dropped to the floor and pretended to search through the books on the lowest shelf. I prayed no one would come over and see that they were pregnancy books. Taking some deep breaths as best as I could while crouched down, I tried to calm myself and think through the haze.
Most people were likely looking at him, not at me. I can just grab one of these books and then casually walk over, like it’s no big deal, probably. Maybe.
I can say the book is for a friend. Or—
I inhaled softly.
Can I even do this? With him here?
Does he have to ruin this too? Just like he ruined the …
But a tiny voice inside reminded me that he hadn’t ruined our relationship; I had. I’d ended things when I wasn’t ready to commit to uprooting my life for him. When I wasn’t ready to give up everything. Even though he was everything .
“Annie?” said a feminine voice above me.
I glanced up, eyes widened, as Carlina stood above me and knelt down. “Are you OK?”
“Oh, hi. I was, um, you see, this friend of mine—”
Carlina shook her head. “No need to explain. If you’re pregnant or not, or if it has something to do with that guy who joined the circle or not, you don’t owe anyone any explanation. I just came over to see if you need any help.”
I felt a little moisture well up in my eye, which I quickly dabbed away. “Carlina, you are too sweet. We’ve only just met. But thank you. It’s, ah, a long story.”
“It always is.” She nodded. “If you ever want to get a coffee and talk about it, let me know. Or not, that’s cool too.” She took my hand. “In the meantime though, let’s get you up and back to the book club you’re going to lead. How can I help?”
My eyes darted around, not knowing what to do. “I … uh … a few people might’ve seen me hide behind the shelf like an idiot, so … um … ”
“Oh, I have an idea.” Carlina stood and extended a hand to pull me up surprisingly quickly. “Just follow my lead,” she whispered with a sly smile.
I was about to protest, but the words died on my lips. I had no good alternatives.
As we entered the book club area, Carlina squeezed my hand and said a bit loudly, “Thanks so much for finding this for me, Annie. My partner insisted all the other pregnancy books were written by quacks, and there’s no convincing her otherwise.”
I hid my surprise and gave Carlina a warm albeit shaky smile. What a lovely woman. I was definitely going to take her up on the coffee offer. “Anytime, pal.”
I winced.
Anytime, pal ? Really, that’s the best you can do?
I strode over to my chair and sat down, noting that Sai was next to me. I tried to smile at her, and she was staring at me oddly. Was that pity? Kindred spirits we were, perhaps, hiding from our love interests.
What? No, Kylan isn’t a love interest. That’s firmly in the past.
But before I could analyze Sai’s face further, the look vanished, replaced by her bored expression.
I took a deep breath and scanned the perimeter of the circle, with all the eager faces.
I skipped over his, of course. He was sitting on the opposite side of the circle.
There were probably nearly thirty people in attendance, so it was a large circle.
Still, I felt so exposed, like he was right in front of me, seeing everything.
I cleared my throat. I would be professional, and I would ignore him.
“Hello, everyone! I’m Annie York, and I coordinate events for Bookshop.
Welcome to the inaugural book club meeting!
I’m so excited to see so much interest in this, and I hope you all have as much fun as I know I will in this club.
Since we haven’t started reading a book yet, I thought we’d spend this meeting getting to know each other and then discussing what books we’d like to read in the future.
I want this to be your book club, so I’m not going to merely make selections from somewhere on high.
We’re going to decide together, vote, and all that.
” There were smiles around the room, mostly.
A few people looked disappointed. “Although if the group decided we wanted to have a surprise pick chosen by the leader or someone else, that’s within the realm of possibility too.
This is your book club.” I smiled while scanning all the interested faces again, except of course his.
I wouldn’t meet his eyes again. I couldn’t.