17. Chapter 17 #2
When the meeting was finally over, I turned to Rainn, who gave me a sympathetic smile and quickly started leading me out of the room.
What had I ever done to deserve such amazing best friends?
He had to be worried about his own position, but he was more concerned about me.
Just before we left the room though, I stopped.
“Wait, Rainn, I just realized we should wait for Sofia—” I started saying but then stopped as I spotted her, standing close to Kylan.
“Oh, she’s talking to him a–a–and … and they’re laughing. ”
My eyes burned. Why, I didn’t know. The sight of Sofia standing so close to him, both of them smiling, made speech difficult. I managed to swallow with some effort. “Is she flirting?”
Rainn’s tone was monotone. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
I looked at him, surprised to see his face look stiff, his usually full lips set in a thin line.
When he noticed my gaze, he shrugged. “Or maybe she’s just being strategic, making friends with the new boss right away.”
My gaze landed on Sofia and Kylan again. “Maybe. That’s something she would do. And they’ve met before, at the book club, so I guess it’s not all that strange that she’d go say hi.”
Rainn agreed, “True. That’s probably it then. But, Annie …” He paused, pulling me gently out of the room and waiting until we were in the hallway away from most of the others. “Does it really bother you that much? I mean, if he were flirting with someone here? It could happen, you know.”
I opened my mouth, which made some shapes but no sound.
He sighed softly. “OK, I get it.”
“Rainn, I—” I started, recovering my voice and turning to him with eyebrows raised.
“Your secret is safe with me,” he said, putting his arm around me for a quick squeeze before we went back to our respective desks to pack up for the day.
It was nearly time to sign off for the day—thank goodness, as I couldn’t handle the possibility of another encounter or even a distant sighting of Kylan today.
“So, Annie,” Sofia said while spearing some salad onto her fork, “what did you think of Debbie, now that you’ve met her?”
I finished chewing my chicken pesto sandwich and then wiped my mouth carefully. “Well, I know you had some reservations about signing her, but I think you made the right choice. She seems really open to the changes we’re asking her to make, at least.”
Sofia nodded. “Yeah, she is. She’s sweet, and we need a lot more Black women authors. Above all, her writing was good. It’s just … well, Laina told me I was making a mistake, and sometimes I let her get in my head.”
“What’s the saying? Never let others live rent-free inside your head, or something like that,” I said with a sympathetic smile. “Easier said than done, I know.”
Sofia smiled and shook her head. “So true. All right, I promised we wouldn’t talk about work this whole lunch, so I’ll shut up about this.”
I smiled. “I don’t mind. I have no life outside of work right now.”
“Oh,” she said, wincing, “sorry to hear that. I can help you with that—”
“No, it’s actually just the way I want it. For now.”
Sofia eyed me thoughtfully. “Ah, I see. Just … don’t burn out, OK? I really like you, lady. The last thing I need is to find a new assistant.”
I laughed. “No danger of that. You’d have to drag me out, kicking and screaming.”
After a few moments while we continued eating, Sofia said, “Oh, I meant to tell you, when I had my first meeting with Kylan this afternoon, we talked a little about you actually.”
My heart rate seemed to triple as I feigned only mild interest. I’d known Sofia was meeting with him, of course.
As Sofia’s assistant, I knew everything about her schedule, as well as Laina’s.
Kylan was making the rounds and meeting with all the agents early on to get the lay of the land.
With a forced calm, I asked, “You met with him?”
Sofia nodded. “I like him. I didn’t want to. I mean, he’s the rich, hot, privileged, white boy coming in to shake things up here.” She shrugged. “But there’s something about him. ”
“Well, he wasn’t always rich,” I said, before I could stop myself.
“Oh?” Then she sat back in her chair and took a sip of iced tea. “That reminds me. You never told me you had a history.”
My heart rate quickened as I forced a smile. “Oh, I didn’t? Well, not much to speak of. I know he grew up poor though, worked his way through college.”
“You dated though, didn’t you?” Sofia raised an eyebrow. “But it’s not much to speak of?”
Crap.
He told Sofia that?
“Uh, I—well, it wasn’t …” I grasped for words. “I’m sure he said it wasn’t that serious—”
Sofia laughed. “I suppose, in so many words. He did say he barely recognized you at first, and this was the last place he expected to see you working.”
As my heart shattered into pieces, I arranged my face into a careful smile. I was good at that. “Right, I–I was a bit aimless in college. I’m surprised he even remembers me.”
“Not your soulmate then. Got it.” She chuckled after taking another sip of tea. But her face sobered. “Well, I …” she trailed off, looking hesitant.
I didn’t really want to know what she was going to say, but I made myself ask. “What? Just say it.”
With a somewhat guilty expression, my new friend sighed. “I can’t say I’m not interested myself. I did feel some heat when we met last week at Bookshop. Would you mind if …”
I shook my head rapidly, trying to focus on breathing before I uttered in a raspy voice, “No, but … it might not be a good idea, professionally. During the transition, at least.”
She winced. “True. As a woman of color, I can’t afford to risk mixing personal and professional.
It’s not fair, but that’s the way of things.
At least, I’ve never found anyone worth the risk before.
” She winked at me. Was she saying Kylan might be the exception?
My heart sank further as my mind filled with dread .
The only thing worse than working under Kylan as a boss would be watching him fall in love with my coworker and new friend. I’d have to quit.
I can’t quit! I love this job.
Think, Annie.
I raised my chin and pursed my lips. “Sofia, no man is worth that risk. And I’m going to remind you of that as often as I need to, just as you’ll do the same for me.”
“Aww, girl, of course I will. I’ve known you for like a week. Or two? Whatever. I already want to get bestie tattoos.” At my surprised face, she laughed. “I’m joking, of course. I don’t do pain. But you’re awesome, girl.”
Not two hours later, I was pouring my special caramel coffee blend into the coffeemaker as the accounting manager was standing near the microwave making popcorn.
Despite my usual habit of making small talk in the break room, I wasn’t attempting to chat at all, in part because voices would’ve been hard to hear over the popcorn and in part because Sandra would’ve ignored me anyway.
I’d said hello to the woman every day and never received anything in response except an icy glare, if that.
At first I’d wondered what I had done to offend her, but Sofia assured me it wasn’t personal.
Apparently Sandra was just an unpleasant person, but she was related to one of the agency’s founders and thus had been working here forever.
I tapped my foot, wishing I’d thought to bring my phone as I waited for the coffee to brew.
I sighed as I considered all the work remaining on my to-do list for today.
I had at least a dozen emails to reply to, and Laina had a meeting she needed me to schedule.
I was trying to remember the other to-do when a familiar deep voice startled me.
“I just had to find out who the office popcorn lover is,” said the owner of the voice, flashing a charming smile as he rounded the corner into the room.
Kylan’s smile wavered just a bit when he saw me, but he recovered quickly.
Me, not so much. I had to lean back against the counter to steady myself.
Thank goodness I’m not in here alone.
I glanced over at Sandra with reluctant gratitude. But I frowned, noting that Sandra was pulling the steaming popcorn bag out of the microwave.
“It is only I,” Sandra said in a high-pitched voice, followed by a giggle. “I can share.” I stared at her, wide-eyed. Who was this woman? She had to be at least 50 years old, as stern and frosty as any woman I’d ever met, but she’d transformed into a flirty schoolgirl just like that?
Kylan gave her a winning smile. “Any other day, Sandra—it’s Sandra, right?” When she beamed, he continued, “Any other day, I would, but I’m still stuffed from lunch. I just came to get some coffee.”
Sandra sighed. “Your loss, Mr. Quinn. Maybe another time then,” she said in almost a whisper as she sashayed past him with her popcorn.
I stared after her in disbelief, jaw nearly on the floor. But when the door closed, I jolted back to reality and found my ex walking toward me. “I, uh, I was just waiting for my coffee.”
“OK,” he said in a pleasant voice.
“I don’t like the office coffee, so I brew my own.”
“Cool.”
Why am I explaining what I’m doing in the break room?
I’m not doing anything wrong.
I shook my head as I warily watched him pour some of the normal office coffee and then add sugar.
Instead of turning to leave though, he leaned against the counter and took a sip. And then another. “No wonder you bring your own. Can I try it?”
“Uh, well, it’s… uh—”
“Forget it, if it’s a big deal—”
“No! I mean, yes, you can. It’s not ready yet though. I do a slow brew.”
He was quiet for a moment and then said, “OK.”
Silence reigned for the next two and a half minutes while it finished.
A painful silence that I kept debating whether or not to fill.
I was very talented when it came to filling silences.
I loved doing it, actually. But this—this silence was one I wasn’t sure should be filled. It was better this way.
Finally, the coffee was done, and we each poured a cup. I waited while he took a few sips. Slowly, his lips turned up at the corners, and at such close proximity, I could see the slight crinkles around his eyes.
I swallowed with some effort. “You like it then. Good. Some things are worth the wait, right?”
Oh my—I did not just say that.
He’s going to think—oh no, I just said … that.
He sipped the coffee and met my eyes for a moment. “Perhaps you’re right.”
I averted my eyes first, getting a lid for my coffee cup and handing him one. “Well, I need to go back to my desk.”
“So do I,” he said, sounding distracted. As he followed me out of the room, he suddenly called to me. “Oh wait, Annie.”
I whirled around, my heart fluttering. This job, being here with him , was going to be the death of me.
And my name.
On his lips.
Those lips.
“Yes?”
“I almost forgot. I can’t make it tonight. I have a work thing with Lucas. I told him I’m busy on Wednesdays, but apparently this meeting had to take place tonight. Sorry,” Kylan said, actually looking apologetic.
I stared into his eyes, surprise on my face. Why was he telling me this? “Oh, it’s … I’m … thanks for letting me know. Um, have a good time at your meeting. ”
With that idiotic closing statement, I gave him a polite smile and turned to leave.
I’d survived another encounter with him, but at what cost?