22. Chapter 22 #3
“I was afraid you might say Brandon! So, I’m relieved.” Viviana smiled, holding up her glass before taking a long swig.
I watched her closely. “But … you don’t like Kylan. ”
“That’s not true. I don’t dislike him. I just … disapproved. That sounds awful when I say it aloud, yeesh. But anyway, that was the past.”
My heart started beating even more quickly. “And now?”
“Now, he’s getting me a book deal with one of the biggest New York publishers.
He’s been fantastic to work with. I thought he might hold a grudge from the past, but …
I’ve seen no sign of it. And he’s never spoken ill of you.
He’s been wonderful.” Viviana bit her lip and then smiled. “So, I approve.”
My jaw dropped. “Oh … uh. Thank you? But I don’t think I have a chance with him now. So …”
“Wait, why not?” Jane interjected. “I saw the two of you talking. He seemed pretty interested.”
I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. “I broke his heart four years ago. He has resented me ever since. I don’t think he ha–hates me anymore.” I choked up as tears started to form. “But our chance has long since passed. He’s been dating Sofia.”
Viviana winced. “Oh, Annie, I’m so sorry. That has to be painful to watch. Does she know?”
“She knows only a little about our past, and I told her it was no big deal.”
“I’m getting the sense it’s actually a very big deal though.” Her expression turned somber. “That maybe … maybe I was wrong to persuade you to let him go.”
“To let him go where?” Jane asked.
I took a steadying breath. “He was graduating from college a year earlier than me, and he wanted me to go with him to New York to pursue his dreams.”
“While you were still getting your degree?” Jane made a face. “That’s not cool of him.”
“Right?” Viviana said. “That’s what I thought.”
“But I didn’t even know for sure what I wanted to major in,” I said quietly. “I probably could’ve transferred schools relatively easily since I was still technically undecided. ”
We were all quiet for a moment, pondering this. Then Jane sat up straighter, her eyes bright. “This is Persuasion ! Kylan is so Captain Wentworth. Right, Viv? And Annie … well, she’s Anne. We have another real-life Austen on our hands, I think.”
Viviana’s face slowly transformed into an expression of wonder, then glee. “Jane, you genius. How did I not see this? You’re right. This is so Persuasion !” Then she frowned, the joy fading from her eyes. “Wait, does that make me Lady Russell?”
Jane winced. “I think so.”
I shook my head slowly. “I haven’t read any Austen since college, so I don’t remember that character. Regardless, I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you all because the real story here isn’t a happily ever after. He doesn’t want me. He’s made that clear.”
The three of us were silent for a long moment.
“Are you sure? Maybe he’s just afraid to get hurt again, so he’s hiding his real feelings,” Jane started.
“Or, like Wentworth, he doesn’t realize you still love him,” Viviana said, her hand over her heart as she sighed dramatically.
“He doesn’t want me. He’s dating my work bestie, remember?
” I sucked my lips between my teeth. It hurt to say that aloud.
Before they could reply, I waved my hands to stop them.
“Can we talk about something else? Someone else’s turn?
Jane, tell us all about your fabulous life in Duluth. How’s the shopping there?”
Jane burst into laughter, and as the seconds ticked by, Viviana and I looked at her curiously. “Sorry,” she said once she caught her breath. “It’s just … my life is anything but fabulous. Duluth is great, for sure. I love the city, always have. But not my life.”
I frowned. “Sorry to hear that. Want to vent or no?”
“She’s not really the venting type,” Viviana said. “Trust me, I’ve tried.”
“No point,” Jane said, waving her hand. “You all don’t need to hear the boring details.
Because it’s boring. My life isn’t terrible or even bad, really.
It’s just boring. Dull. I’m basically middle-aged, and I’m a proofreader.
And I hate this word but I’m going to say it anyway …
lonely. I’m single, I don’t have children, I don’t own a home. ”
“And there’s nothing wrong with that, if that’s how you choose to live—”
“It’s not though. I’m not single by choice. I’m not stuck in this job by choice. I’m not … ugh.” Jane stopped as she covered her face with her hands. There was clearly more, but we weren’t about to pressure her.
“Well, I think we’ve established that I’m a total mess when it comes to love, so I have nothing to offer on the single problem,” I said, chuckling. “But maybe I can help with the job thing. I recently reinvented myself. Maybe you just need to do the same!”
Jane eyed us warily. “I’m almost 40 though—”
“So?”
“What am I going to do? I don’t want to go back to school,” Jane said, crossing her arms.
Viviana smiled gently. “There are lots of things you could—”
“What are you interested in? What is your dream job? I just met you so I have no idea, but surely you’ve thought about it,” I prodded.
Viviana nodded slowly. “If you could do anything, what would it be?”
Jane licked her lips and started to speak and then stopped.
After a few long moments, she said, “There’s so much to love about journalism.
I’m just tired of proofreading other people’s work.
I think I want … to create. To—you know what?
It doesn’t matter. It’s pretty unlikely at this stage of life, and anyway, I have obligations that would get in the way. Family. Personal stuff.”
Viviana and I raised our eyebrows. With a doubtful tone, I pressed on, “You have personal obligations that prevent you from pursuing a new career?”
Jane nodded, her voice becoming somber. “I do. My dad … he’s not well. I won’t bore you with the details right now, but suffice to say it’s a big consideration for me.”
Viviana lunged forward and hugged her, and I joined in .
“Sorry for prying or overstepping,” I said. “Especially when I barely know you.”
Jane laughed. “And me comparing your relationship with the head of your agency to a Jane Austen love story wasn’t overstepping? You’re fine, Annie.” Then she turned to Viviana with a growing smile. “It’s your turn, Viv. Spill.”
“Spill what?” Viviana asked, tilting her head uncertainly. “I’m practically an open book these days.”
“She got the guy, the exciting new job …” I pointed out.
“True,” Jane said, narrowing her eyes while also smiling. “But there must be something. How’s the bedroom—?”
“Amazing-but-that’s-all-I’m-going-to-say,” she said in a rush of words as she flushed, looking downward.
Jane and I laughed.
“That good, huh?” Jane said.
“‘Good’ doesn’t even begin to—” At our widening eyes, Viviana reddened further. “Nope, not going there.”
“Such a tease,” I said, and we all giggled.
After a pause, Viviana spoke up, “All right, there is one thing.”
We glanced up with eager expressions as Viviana filled another champagne glass and took several sips.
“I … am … oh, I don’t know—”
“ Viv , just say it,” I said impatiently. Jane nodded.
She bit her lip, looking pained. “This can not leave the room. I don’t even know if I’m thinking straight at all right now—”
“You’re not—we’re all hammered, Viv,” Jane said, laughing.
“But nothing is leaving this room,” I insisted. “We all agree on that.”
“Fine,” Viviana muttered. “I’m thinking about proposing to Jack.”
“Proposing marriage?” I asked, my voice rising.
Jane giggled. “What else would she propose to her boyfriend?”
“Well …” I clamped my mouth shut and then smiled. “ Viv ! You’re getting married! ”
“She’s getting married!” Jane shouted, and the two of us stood up and began dancing around in a drunken circle, hands clasped together until we fell in a heap onto the couch next to Viviana, who looked mortified.
“I said I was thinking of proposing! I have no idea if I will or if he’d say yes. What if he—” She stopped when Jane and I erupted into a fit of giggles, unable to sit up straight on the couch. Crossing her arms over her chest, she cleared her throat loudly. “As I was saying—”
“Viv,” I interrupted her, out of breath. “You—you can’t be serious. That man adores you. Worships you. I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t beat you to the proposal.”
Jane nodded rapidly. “He’s probably already planning something romantic. If you want to out-romance him, you’d better make it amazing.”
“I mean, it’s not a competition,” Viviana said. Her face morphed into a smile, with stars in her eyes. “You think he is? You think … he wants to marry me?”
“Nothing could be more certain,” I said.
Jane nodded, “I barely know him yet, but that man would follow you to the ends of the earth and back. But, hey, that gave me an idea. You two should have your wedding in Duluth. I could help you plan it!”
“A destination wedding … I never thought of that,” Viviana said thoughtfully. “But do you really think he’ll say yes?”
While Jane hugged and reassured her, I rolled my eyes.
Of course Jack would marry her. And I was genuinely happy for my friends.
Love was wonderful, even if it was only for other people to experience. That would have to be enough.