Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Seventeen
The sun blasted in the windows encasing the small living room of the suite. It was so bright that it seemed to penetrate her eyelids; sluggishly, she opened her eyes. Sitting on the couch, she folded the blanket she’d found in one of the hotel closets when she had slipped out of Jake’s arms and made her way to the living room. She knew she could adjust to sleeping in a bed with a man, but it still didn’t come naturally to her. She caught the time on the small microwave in the nook by the coffee-maker as she walked by. It was just after six a.m. The night before, she’d tried to do as Matt said, put the audition behind her. Still, her brain seemed to spin as she lay in bed next to Jake, forging through the crevices over the past week: her agent’s instructions, the disturbing script, the emotion she couldn’t tap into during the first audition, the way her body seemed to command itself during the scene with Bernardo. Then Jake tucking away what must have been painful, not telling her about Bernardo. Then, last night, his instinctive pull back from her offer to have sex since she knew that had to be what he wanted, that had to be his focus. Still, his reaction seemed as if she had insulted him. Carefully, she moved onto the king-sized bed, twisting to get under the covers, then inching her back toward him.
His arm curled around her, scooping over her hip, his hand landing gently on her abdomen, spreading his fingers under the T-shirt, rotating them back and forth around her belly button. She mewed, confirming her acceptance. His groin brushed up against her lower back. She reveled in the feel of his hardness against her. He flexed his hips so that his cock, which was pushing against the cotton of his briefs, edged up against her upper ass.
“You feel good,” he murmured into her hair, his fingers working around her lower stomach, the edge of his middle finger slipping just under the elastic of her panties.
“Mmm…you feel good, too,” she hushed, arching her back, edging closer, pressing her upper ass against his cock. This told him she cared about him with her body, as he’d stated, her non-verbal skills outweighed her verbal ones. But this felt right; her body absorbed his touch, squelching the warring thoughts in her mind. Her responses to him were real; there was no pretending when they came together. “Sorry, I snuck out to the couch. I’m trying to…”
“Shh, you’re here now,” he said into her ear, his fingers traveling under her panties, touching her outer lips. “May I?”
“Yes,” she said, seconds later, feeling two of his fingers easing into her hole. “Mm…mm, God.”
“God, you’re always so wet. Love to know what you dream about, Sweets.” His fingers dove in deeper, working her insides. He slipped them in and out, his thumb stroking her clit. Minutes later, she felt her vagina spasm, her body shuddering as she yelled out in a raspy voice that she was coming. Then he clumsily pushed his boxers off his legs with his other hand, turned her towards him, his fingers still in her as he kissed her lips. “Okay?” he asked, taking her hand and putting it on his cock.
“Of course, yes.”
He climbed between her legs and said, “Bend your knees.” As she did, he spread them open and pushed them up to her chest before he eased his cock into her.
“Ah, ooh,” popped out of her mouth as he slid in and out, deep then shallow. The room filled with her moans, just as her vagina clamped around his cock, and she cried out, “Pleeeease…I just need to…”
“Go baby, let go,” he rasped, slamming into her. “Damn, damn you feel so fucking good,” he growled as she felt his cock pulse inside her, as if he were waiting for a signal, giving his throbbing cock permission to burst into her flesh.
After the waves softened, he pulled out of her, grabbed a cloth from the bedside table and put it between her legs. Then he pulled her in close. “I love you,” he murmured into her hair.
There was so much strength surrounding his statement, but she also heard the hope of her reciprocation lingering in the air. She took in a careful breath, her eyes growing heavy; she was completely lost in the sensations that their connection infused in her. She couldn’t say those words back—her dad and Matt were the only men she’d ever said that to. “Jake, you cleared my mind.” A breathy chuckle spilled from her. “I’m not thinking about the audition.”
“I told you I’d get that out of your head.” His lips pecked along her jaw. “You’re falling asleep.” His fingers feathering on her shoulders as his words hung in the air. “I wanna be the only thing in that pretty head this weekend.”
Rakell’s eyes opened slightly to the noise in the other room. She looked up from her pillow in time to see him placing a cup of coffee on the table on her side of the bed. She shut her eyes, absorbing what was happening, the everydayness of his action, which seemed so unusual to her, someone taking care of her, as if this was normal. She felt the bed give with his weight as he sat, his back against a pillow. Looking up at him, coffee cup in hand, his glasses on as he read the paper in his gray briefs, his rigid chest on display along with the muscular lines of his pelvis that traveled under his briefs and the dark hair that trailed to his apex, she took it all in as her eyes drifted over him, her lids fluttering.
“Hey you,” he whispered.
Smiling, she replied, “Yeah, you.”
“Coffee,” he said, pointing to the bedside table.
She sat up, pulling the sheet around her boobs, reaching for the coffee as he put a pillow behind her.
“Thank you.”
The edges of his lips lifted into a sort of smile, but she saw the puzzled look in his eyes, the way his mouth shifted, like he was trying to figure her out. Cautiously, he put his hand out. “Of course, come here,” he said, urging her into his chest. She scooted over, still securing the sheet to her breasts, resting her head on his hard chest, anything to get away from the question on his face. Shutting her eyes, she absorbed the radiating heat of his skin and the light pine smell mixed with sweat, a musky essence of spent exertion. She sniffed again; it was a familiar scent she’d picked up from her dad when he’d been working outside. “Feeling shy?” he asked, running his finger over the hand that was securing the sheet over her chest, “’cause I’ve never seen those before.” Amusement laced his tone.
Her eyes popped up. She lifted her chin, protruding her bottom lip. “Shut up, it’s just this part I’m not so good at…or, I mean, sure.” She fished around in her head to grab the words that would explain that the normal parts of a relationship felt foreign to her, so her reactions were censored.
His fingers were in her hair, gently massaging her scalp. “What part? The non-sex part?” Still, a trace of humor in his tone.
Her focus fixed straight ahead, avoiding his intense blue eyes, the way his black, mussed hair tumbled on his temples and the stubble created a dark shadow on his chin, making her want to avoid this conversation with more sex, so she wouldn’t have to talk, “Yes, the non-sex part, not so comfortable with how I’m supposed to act.”
He put his newspaper down, picked up his coffee, and said, “Sit up so I can look at you when we talk.” His request blurred the lines between a plea and a demand.
“Exactly, this part,” she mumbled, her arms flailing between them. “All this sharing, the morning kind of interaction.” She extended her hand to grab her coffee and sat beside him.
Setting down his coffee, he said, “So the sex is comfortable, you’re okay with that part, but drinking coffee, sharing the morning together, that’s…” She could tell he was trying to figure her out, to dive deeper rather than judging.
“Uncomfortable. It’s not something I’m used to. I’m used to sex, but this playing house stuff, I never really did that before.” She fixed her gaze on her coffee as she spoke.
“Look at me,” he said, then touched her chin, scooping it between his thumb and index finger, guiding it upward. “So that’s part of it, the whole girlfriend thing.” He smiled. “But you don’t get to just fuck and run, not with me anyway.”
“Okay, I’m trying. Fucking and running is so much easier.”
“Probably true, but I like you more than just that.” The earnestness in his words soothed her nervous system.
“Um, me, too,” she whispered, lowering her head and brushing her lips against his shoulder, kissing slowly, then moving her mouth to his nipple, her mouth surrounding it, sucking softly, her tongue moving over the hard nub, delighting in the sound of the low moan escaping his throat. Then his hand was on her jaw, gently pushing her mouth away.
He exhaled a heavy breath, almost like a cough. “Bad girl, anything to avoid a real conversation, but I wasn’t done. I wanted to ask you about Matt. You’re close, so how did that develop?” he said, gulping in air.
“So, you didn’t like that.” She made a fake pouty face.
Shaking his head, he moved his eyes between her and his cock that had grown hard. “What do you think? Just not going to let you distract me again, or it will take five years for me to get to know you.” He squeezed her shoulder. “Tell me about you and Matt.”
“Um, what about us?”
“Your story. You said Matt was okay with you sharing about you two. So how did you meet, and how is he so…”
“Important?” rushed from her mouth. Just hearing Matt’s name let something in her release. She searched Jake’s face briefly, connecting his tone to his expression; the way he sat back casually gave her the sense that he was probing in earnest. He wants to know about the people important to you . Her dad flashed in her head, but she couldn’t pull on that memory or the wall would fall, and she wasn’t ready for that. She’d been the most open with Matt. He was her lockbox of secrets which went hand in hand with submerged pain.
“Yep. Important.” He hesitated. “I get it. He seems easygoing; I mean, don’t get any judgment vibe from him.”
“That’s a good description of Matt. I haven’t known anyone quite like him. Well, anyone in my life today,” she corrected, thinking about her dad.
She caught his nonplussed look, the way his eyebrows creased in.
“Didn’t you say I was easy last weekend?” he teased.
“Yes easy, easy to read, but it’s different.” She lifted her eyes to the ceiling, thinking about how to explain. “I mean, I’m fucking you, and not because you paid me to, so it feels a bit unsure…does that make sense?” she asked, flicking her eyes to his face.
“I suppose, but I don’t think it’s unsure; I’m trying to be very clear about what I want.” He offered her a smirk, but she heard the filtering of hurt in his voice. “So let me hear the story about you two.”
“Well, he hired me to be his date for a weekend when his family came to London for some royal events. He didn’t want them to know he was gay and needed a date. The thing is, I didn’t know he was gay, either. He paid for a whole weekend with me, so I assumed he wanted everything. I rarely, almost never, was with clients for more than eye candy that I didn’t know. The agency checked Matt out, and I’d talked to him on the phone and instantly liked him. I remember that I was actually excited about the weekend.” She heard a gulping sound from him, like he was swallowing something too big for his throat. She took a deep breath. “Jake, we really don’t have to go into this now. Are you sure you want me to keep going?”
His fingers rotated in small circles on her shoulder. “Yup, please,” he replied, clenching his jaw, clearly fighting back anxiousness. Hearing Rakell talk about herself and Matt, someone Jake knew and liked, made what she had been so real.
She told him about their first meeting, the formal events they’d attended, evolving into the family vacations she’d escorted him on, and the big event in DC—how she thought they’d be together that night, but it never happened; he hadn’t touched her. Instead, Matt told her he was gay, and they made a pact to be brother and sister. Matt’s dad wanted them to get married, and he’d also suggested that Rakell work at Matt’s consulting firm in Texas. Matt gave her an offer that she couldn’t refuse. He wanted her to pursue her dream of acting.
“So, Matt, I, well, I kind of fell in love with him.” Her voice hitched as if weighing the pros and cons of sharing the thought that hung in her head. Finally, she said, “I was actually frustrated that he’d never touched me. I mean, he was so tender to me, so loving, but nothing sexual.” Her eyes dropped to Jake. “He’s my best friend,” she added, her voice trailing off as she felt Jake’s hand squeeze her shoulder.
She noticed the chords on his neck flinch. She couldn’t tell if he was trying to process what she’d said about Matt or if the uneasy edge she sensed came from judgment. Or could it just be jealousy?
“Jake?”
“Just thinking how special what you have with Matt is.” His gaze flitted past her like he was scrambling for his next words. “I guess I have that with my sisters and Delilah…it’s a sort of intimacy without doubt, so you just take that person’s advice or feedback at face value, and you don’t question their motives.”
“Yes, yes, that’s exactly it,” she said.
He sucked in air, as if readying himself for his next words. “So you’ve never fallen for anyone else, I mean none of the other…”
“No, it’s easy not to. There’s a certain distance when dealing with billionaire clients. When someone grows up never doing normal everyday stuff like grocery shopping, pumping gas, making travel arrangements, paying bills…the things most people do, there’s a detachment from the way most people live and from people’s feelings. It’s like they have no concept of how you can hurt someone else with your actions or words. That’s what I saw, and I quickly learned to mirror that to protect myself.”
“Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Um, is it because they're jerks? I mean—” he asked in a dispassionate way. It wasn’t lost on her that he was speaking cautiously, as if steering slowly, so he would come across as calm. She was beginning to understand how much it meant to him that she shared this part of her life, allowing him to tiptoe into her past.
“Sometimes, but in general, I was wined, dined, showered with gifts, flown all over the world, basically paraded around like some kind of porcelain doll, then released. So, in a sense, I was truly acting.” Her voice was unemotional as she went on: “Other girls would fall in love or just fantasize about marrying a client. I never did; I never wanted that. I knew I was in it for the money and moving on. That life, with all its trappings, didn’t fool me. I really don’t think a half-a-million-dollar necklace is a reason to fall in love.”
“No, no, it’s not,” he said, smiling down at her as she looked up at him, “but a super sweet, caring guy who has a pretty good job, rocks in bed, is humble, and has a great family, may be a reason to fall in love.”
Rolling her eyes, she asked, “Humble? Know anybody like that? Introduce me,” she teased, smiling.
“Girl, I swear.” He tugged on the sheet covering her breasts as he leaned down, sucking a nipple into his mouth while his hands cupped around the other tit. “Do I need to remind you who makes you squeal?”
“Oh, yeah, you do,” she said, laughing, throwing her head back, as he made a meal out of her tits. “Please remind me, please.”
He worked his way down her torso, licking and kissing her stomach, then her inner thighs, until she pushed his head between her legs. “Please, what?” His mouth centimeters from her pussy, he said, “Introduce you to a guy who has all those qualities, is that what you’re begging for?” There was a dark amusement to his tone, before he took the flat of his tongue and licked from the crease between her pinched back hole to her clit before resting his chin on her mons, waiting for her answer.
“Jake, asshole, pleeease eeeat meee,” she whined.
He sucked in her clit before his tongue plundered her hole as if spurred on by her cries, then he lifted his head. “Oh, so you’ll settle for me getting you off until you meet that guy?”
She dropped her head back. “God, you’re impossible. You’re that guy, minus the humble description. Now do me.” She giggled, her arms reaching for him.
He laughed with her, jerking down his briefs, crawling between her open legs. Obliging her desire.