28. Rosa
Pacing the waiting room, Rosa hugged herself.
Despite her thick jumper and coat she was chilled to the bone.
Finding Christopher on the floor had been a shock, and she’d been terrified that he was gone.
He was in the best place right now and she tried to reassure herself of that fact, but she also knew that he was frail and elderly and that there was something very wrong.
He had collapsed and right now the medical staff were performing tests to find out why.
When the door opened, she turned, expecting to see the doctor, but it was Henry. She sagged as he walked towards her and when he opened his arms; she fell into them.
She cried against his chest, felt him holding her up, and she was more grateful than she could have imagined that he was there with her.
‘Any news?’ he asked.
‘Not yet. They’re … still performing tests. Oh Henry, if anything happens to him…’
‘I know,’ he said. He didn’t convince them that Christopher would be fine. He let her know he understood, and that he felt the same. Christopher was their friend, and they cared about him. They wanted the best for him and if they could, of course they would will him to live, but they had no control over this now. All they could do was wait and see. ‘Have you let Vinnie know what’s happening?’
She nodded. ‘I messaged him ten minutes ago.’
‘I left Bobby with him. The poor boy was scared, so I couldn’t leave him home alone at Christopher’s, and I couldn’t bring him here.’
‘He’ll be OK with Vinnie.’
She pulled a tissue from her pocket and dried her eyes and cheeks. Since she’d found Christopher, she’d been going through a cycle of crying, drying her eyes and then crying some more. She’d tried to stop the tears, but it seemed pointless because her pain needed to come out. But now, thankfully, she wasn’t alone because Henry was here.
They sat on the blue plastic chairs and Henry took her hand between his and rubbed it to warm it up. She leant against him, let herself rely on him in this moment because she needed his support and friendship. In return, she would offer him hers.
‘Are you OK?’ she asked.
‘Deeply worried for our friend. I just hope they can help him.’
‘Henry … I’m so sorry.’ She looked up at him, traced the lines of his jaw, his nose, his smooth forehead with her eyes.
‘It’s not your fault,’ he said.
‘No … Not about Christopher…’ She inhaled deeply as she tried to gather her strength. The room smelt of pine disinfectant and coffee from the machine in the corner. It was stuffy and silent, apart from the humming of a generator somewhere nearby. ‘I’m sorry for walking away from you.’
‘Hey … Don’t do this to yourself. It doesn’t matter. Christopher is what matters now.’
She gazed into his blue-green eyes that seemed darker now, more like a pool in a cave than Caribbean waters. Their pain, sadness, and worry pierced her heart like a knife.
‘It matters. I need to explain. Is that OK?’
‘Of course,’ he said. ‘I’m listening.’
‘I care about you, Henry, more than care about you, but I’m such a mess. I seem like I have my life together, but there are things that happened before I moved to Cornwall, and when they come back to haunt me, I struggle.’
He nodded but didn’t speak, and she knew he was giving her space to continue.
‘My ex … Zane West… He hurt me badly. I loved him, trusted him and believed in us and he trampled all over that. It made me feel worthless, and I didn’t want you to know what he’d done because…’ She swallowed against the lump in her throat. ‘I … didn’t want you to think he was right.’
‘Rosa … How could I ever think that anyone who has hurt you is in the right? You are wonderful and the fact that some idiot hurt you makes my blood boil. He clearly didn’t deserve you.’ Henry shook his head and his eyes shone. He stroked her cheek with his free hand and held her gaze. ‘You are the most incredible person I have ever met.’
‘I don’t know why you think that.’ She sucked in a shaky breath. ‘I don’t understand why you like me so much.’
‘There are many reasons…’ He smiled then leant closer and kissed her.
When he sat back again, she bit her lip before continuing.
‘Our divorce was finalised before I moved here, but I had to pay him off. With some of the money from the sale of my aunt’s house. I just wanted him out of my life for good and so I paid him to give me peace.’
‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Things were OK between us for the first few years we were together. It was fun and easy and he made me laugh a lot. After we got married, we talked about having children. He … he made me believe he loved me and that he wanted to start a family with me. When it didn’t happen, I went for tests and so did he. Or he told me he’d been for tests, but he was lying. Mine came back clear, and he said his had too, but it was all part of an elaborate deception. There was no reason for him to lie, but I think he enjoyed it. It was like he couldn’t help himself and the lies just rolled off his tongue. See … He’d had a vasectomy. He went away on what he told me was a work trip and during that time he had the vasectomy.’ She shook her head as the pain of the memories came back. ‘It was like some kind of power play with him because he didn’t need to lie, but he did. I know he has issues, and that’s the root cause of his behaviour, but even so, it hurt me so much. I thought we were trying for a family, but he took that chance away from me. And with me losing my mum so young and not seeing my dad, I longed for my own family. I wanted to create that unit for myself, to have children and to be a mum and…’ A sob choked her and she buried her face in her hands. The fear for Christopher and the sadness from her marriage all washed over her and she couldn’t hold it together any longer. She sobbed and sobbed and Henry rubbed her back, held her hands and kissed her hair. When she could breathe again, she continued. ‘He was a truck driver, so he was often away and what I didn’t know was that he was having affairs. He had women all over the country and they had all fallen for his stories and his charm. I’d never checked up on him, but the last time he was away, a letter came through for him and I opened it by mistake. It was an outstanding bill for the vasectomy and that made me mad. I did some investigating, and that was when I found emails and phone bills for phones I didn’t even know he had. He was living several lives and spending money like it was water. He was broke and in debt and that was why, after we divorced, I paid him off to leave me alone. I knew he’d never give me any peace if I didn’t.’
‘I’m so sorry that happened to you,’ Henry said. ‘And that I was insensitive mentioning wanting a family with you. After you’d been through that, it was no wonder that it upset you.’
‘You weren’t insensitive. You were being wonderful. You were offering me everything I ever wanted. I’m so sorry I walked away like that. I should have spoken to you.’
Henry shook his head. ‘Sometimes it’s hard to form the words we need in order to share the details of our pain. Sometimes, it’s not the right time and for you, it wasn’t. Now is that time and you have shared your reasons for feeling the way you do.’
‘Thank you for understanding.’
‘No thanks necessary. And … just so you know… It doesn’t make me think less of you. In fact, I think more of you for getting through all that and still being such a sweet and caring person. You are strong and awesome beyond belief. I have nothing but admiration for you. And … other feelings, but I don’t want to dump those on you right now.’
‘Dump away.’ She smiled. ‘I adore you, Henry.’
When he kissed her, she melted against him and knew that she had been right to tell him what she was feeling and to share what she had been through. Henry was amazing, and he hadn’t judged her, nor had he sided with Zane. He had her back and, it seemed, he wanted to be with her.
‘Well…’ He smiled at her. ‘I stand by what I said to you at the beach. I meant every word. If you want me and a life with me, Rosa, I’m yours.’
She gazed into his eyes, her heart racing, and her love for him filling her up and making her whole again.
But then the door opened, the doctor walked in and she froze as terror reared its ugly head. The doctor closed the door behind her and Rosa thought she would faint with fear, but Henry squeezed her hand then wrapped his big, strong arm around her shoulders.
She knew that whatever happened from here on in, she would be OK as long as this wonderful man was by her side.