Chapter 32
Archer
I’m a loser. What kind of guy would make a move on a girl who’s just cried her heart out? That’s textbook off-limits.
We clean up the food as I continue to inwardly berate myself. I want to suggest watching the rest of the movie. I want to promise her I’m going to keep my hands to myself, but I don’t know if I can keep that promise tonight.
At least the hug was okay. I hope.
I open the truck door for her, and she thanks me before I climb in myself to start the truck. Only it doesn’t. A clicking sounds, and I grimace.
“What is it?” Juliet asks.
“Like the idiot I am, I killed the battery by keeping the lights on.”
She delivers a clearly unbothered shrug. “That’s okay.”
I filter through our options. “I could probably call James to give me a jumpstart.”
She gives me a wary look. She obviously doesn’t want to be caught in this kind of situation with me.
“What if I just walk you home?” I suggest instead. “It can only be, what, thirty minutes from here? That way our business dinner doesn’t get misinterpreted.”
“Okay. But only if you let me bring you back in my dad’s car so I can give you a jump start.”
“You sure that would be okay with him?”
Her eyes set. “No. But he gave me the car tonight, so I get to choose.”
I didn’t know this side of Juliet exists, but can’t say I mind it.
Securing the truck, we leave it behind and head down the dark road. “Sorry about this,” I say again. “I wasn’t a boy scout, so I’ve never been one to be prepared.”
“Don’t worry about it. It feels good to stretch my legs. Anyway, this’ll make the evening longer.”
“Is that a good thing?”
She smiles up at me. “I’d say so.”
I tuck my hands into my coat pocket. My fingers aren’t cold, but they’re itching to reach for Juliet’s swinging hands right beside me.
I don’t think there’s such a thing as business-hand-holding either.
“You’re probably wondering what that was back there,” Juliet says. “I’m not usually a blubbering mess. That movie just...brought up some things.”
The movie. Of course. A single dad, his only daughter, a mother who died. Yet another example of my idiocy tonight. “Sorry. I should’ve thought.”
“How were you supposed to know a kid movie about animated vampires starring Adam Sandler would cause me to become emotionally compromised?” she jokes. “I’ve been under a lot of stress, and I think the similarities just tipped me over the edge. And the whole fact that things are changing.”
I should’ve guessed that, too.
“It’s inevitable, really,” she continues. “I’m happy for my dad to be with another woman, but who he’s chosen is gonna affect my entire life. Shouldn’t I get a say in his if he gets such a strong say in mine?”
I think carefully before responding. “You’re not wrong. You’ve had his sole attention for a long time. Now that it’s shifting—and yours isn’t allowed to—it feels unfair.”
She looks at me, validation in her eyes.
“Exactly. And this whole stupid school situation is just wearing on me. I keep putting off talking to him because I know he’s gonna be so disappointed.
I guess my mom always had high hopes for me, so Dad took it on himself to make sure I dreamed big.
They wanted me to move on from Autumn Ridge and to find a life of my own. ”
“But that’s something you don’t want?”
“Not even a little. I feel lost when I’m away. I’m so much happier here. And not just because it’s comfortable or what I know. It’s just...”
“Home.”
She looks at me with a nod, her animation settling. “You get it.”
“I do. I bet your dad does, too.”
She lets out a huff of slight disgust. “I know he does. And I know in the long run, he’ll be happy if I choose to stay here. But I just feel like I’m wasting away the life he’s worked so hard to give me because I already dropped out of school, and I’m not going back after Christmas.”
I guessed this long ago, but I’m flattered she entrusts me with this knowledge. Flattered and intrigued. Her staying in Autumn Ridge is the best news I’ve received in weeks.
“You’re following what’s in your heart,” I say. “Not a lot of people have the courage to do that.”
She gives a disbelieving, “Hmm.”
“But, ” I continue, “you should really talk to your dad. I bet a lot of the pressure you’re feeling will come off.”
She looks at me sidelong. “You’re more succinct than I am. Wanna talk to him for me?”
I laugh. “I highly doubt that would help you. But you definitely should talk to him...about everything.”
I leave the sentence hanging heavily, and her eyes find mine, searching them. “Why? Have you heard more about him? His dating life, I mean?”
I told her dad I wouldn’t lie to her if she asked—and I meant it. Never mind that I fed it to her in the first place. She deserves to know.
I open up about my conversation with him at the pumpkin weigh-in, how he asked me to keep his November date at the stables a secret, and Juliet takes it in stride.
“Don’t take this the wrong way,” she says, “but I can’t believe he entrusted you with that information.”
“I was more shocked than anyone,” I agree. “But if he hasn’t told you by then who he’s dating, I’ve already decided Sadie will be at the stables instead of me. I told him I wouldn’t lie to you about his request—and I won’t lie to you again if I find out who she is.”
She’s quiet for a minute. Then she looks up at me. “Thank you.”
I nod in silence.
“I’m sorry about all of this,” she continues. “That you got dragged into it. It’s such a mess.”
I shrug. “Messes were always fun to play in as kids. It’s just adulthood and our outlook that make them seem worse than they are.”
“Yeah, because we’re left to do all the cleaning up ourselves now.”
She has a point. We walk a few steps in silence, taking First instead of Main. We still have a good twenty minutes left to enjoy together, and I want to soak it all in. Despite the October chill, she ambles, too, so I know the feeling is mutual.
“Can I ask you about your mom?” I chance softly. “How she died and how old you were?”
She nods, folding her arms as a frigid breeze picks up down the street. The roads are empty, the movie night taking most of the attention now, and I’m grateful for the privacy it allots us.
“I was two. She fell asleep at the wheel and ended up driving into a ditch. She died almost instantly, but Dad and I both survived.”
My heart doubles over. I’ve heard bits and pieces of her death, but I didn’t know Juliet was with them when it occurred. “I’m sorry.”
“I don’t remember it—or her. But I almost feel like I do because of how much Dad talked about her growing up. Apparently I look a lot like her.”
She pulls out her phone and navigates to her photos before holding up an image of a baby next to a woman who looks strikingly like Juliet.
“You could almost be twins,” I muse.
She nods, her attention on her phone. “It’s weird missing someone you don’t remember.
And missing a life you might’ve had. I sometimes wonder what things would be like if she’d lived.
Dad might not be so protective of me if he could’ve protected his wife, you know?
I don’t blame him, but I know he blames himself. ”
Her words trample me like a loose bull, and I almost stumble. Mr. Monroe blames himself for his wife’s death? I mean, it makes sense. But somehow, I never thought of this before.
“I just hope he can get over it one day,” Juliet says, pocketing her phone. “I hope whoever he’s dating will help him, but I don’t know if he’ll ever be able to stop blaming himself enough to feel true joy...or to have me feel the same.”
I stare straight ahead, holding my tongue. I don’t want to speak about my past. It makes me feel too raw. But then, doesn’t Juliet deserve more?
“What is it?” she asks, clearly sensing my shift.
“Grief is a tricky thing. But grief mixed with guilt can wreck even the strongest person.” We reach the church, then move down the side road that leads directly to Juliet’s house. “Do you remember the photo you pulled up in my office of my friend, Stetson Pickett?”
“Yeah.”
I draw a deep breath. There’s no turning back now. “We used to ride on the circuit together. But he died because of me.”