Chapter 4
FOUR
Oh crap. Busted.
Charlie felt her stomach twist. Of all people, not only was Ben Massey the one to see her afraid of a tiny spider, but he had to be the one to catch her reading one of her favorite books in the entire world, a book that he’d probably think was stupid, and that she was nerdy for loving it.
Or soft.
She hated how her stomach now fluttered at the idea of Ben thinking of her as soft. Feminine. Of course he didn’t though. He’d called her a warrior ten minutes ago.
No, a warrior princess.
And there went the flutters again.
“What am I reading?” she asked, dodging her answer. She looked around the office as if one of her co-workers would suddenly pop up like a Whac-a-Mole, laughing at her about her choice of books.
Ben nodded. His gorgeous eyes actually twinkled.
Was he getting ready to make fun of her?
No, that wasn’t Ben’s style. One of the many reasons she found him so attractive—Ben was quiet and thoughtful.
Yes, he had a sense of humor, but it wasn’t the mean kind.
It was never at the expense of a friend.
Ben was considerate, kind. Sweet, even, from what little direct interaction they’d had. She relaxed just a teensy bit.
“Oh, you mean that book?” She glanced down at the desk drawer she was blocking like it was a client under fire. “Just some, uh, research. For a client.” Just to make sure he wouldn’t follow up with another question, she added, “I can’t really say who.”
“Client confidentiality. I understand,” Ben said, nodding. “S-so…are you…enjoying it?”
Hide what you love.
The old words flashed through her mind like a reflex.
Charlie’s cheeks felt hot with embarrassment as she bit her bottom lip.
Her gaze darted to the caddy filled with her colored pens and pencils in Ben’s hand.
“Thank you so much for taking care of that for me,” she said quietly, dodging the question.
“You’re welcome. It’s clean now. I washed everything, even the pens.”
“Did you find it? The spider?” She shivered at the mere thought of the eight-legged horror.
He nodded again. “He’s spending the rest of his days in a tree outside.”
“Good. I didn’t want him hurt, just not jumping on me.
” Charlie smiled as she wrapped her hand around the caddy.
As she took it from Ben, her fingers brushed his, which sent her heart racing.
He had big, warm hands, and she imagined they were rough with calluses.
Ben was a metalsmith; she knew that from the exquisite engagement and wedding rings he’d made for all his friends.
Surely, working with metal would rough them up, right?
Her skin tingled at the thought of how they’d feel touching her, distracting her enough to miss what he’d said.
“Sorry, what?” She shook the tempting thought out of her head, hoping she didn’t seem daft.
“N-n-nothing,” he said. His eyes darkened and for a moment and she thought he was mad at her for not paying attention.
But she realized just as quickly that he wasn’t mad, just frustrated.
He sang a few words just under his breath, something she’d seen him do before.
The tune was familiar, and then he came to the song title, singing softly, “The Lady of Shallot.”
“Oh,” Charlie. “That’s a good song.” Shit. I shouldn’t have pointed it out.
Ben startled. “You…know it?”
“Loreena McKennitt singing a poem by Tennyson? Heck yeah, I know it. I love her music.”
Stop! Hide what you love. The words whipped through her mind like a condemnation.
But…I don’t feel like I have to do that with Ben.
Still, her stomach knotted at exposing a personal secret.
“It goes well with that book.” Ben pointed at the drawer. His eyes widened. “I mean…”
“You saw what it was,” Charlie confirmed. Then she felt herself grin. “You’ve read Sword of Embers?”
“It’s one of my favorites.” He grinned. “In a realm where kings are crowned with fire and ancient oaths bind men’s souls…”
Charlie couldn’t stop her smile as Ben started reciting the blurb from the back of the book. “A lost heir to a Fae kingdom must rise,” she continued.
“Aldric Thorne, raised as a human commoner and fated to marry a Fae Princess, is thrust into a battle against forces both mortal and monstrous. Beside him stand Caidan Bramble, a humble Shieldbearer whose courage will alter the fate of kingdoms…”
“And Sir Mariel of the Ashensworn, a woman disguised as a warrior sworn to avenge her father,” Charlie answered.
“But when an ancient evil stirs in the Ashen Mountains, even the Ashensworn—knights bound by fire and blood—may not be enough to hold back Lord Felldark.”
They finished the last part together. “Loyalty will be tested. Legends will fall. And a kingdom will be forged anew… or lost forever.”
Charlie laughed. “Oh my God, you have read it.”
“Many, many times. I was just a kid the first time I stayed up all night every night for a week reading the whole series.”
Charlie touched her chest. “Me, too. The summer I was twelve years old, I would only speak Fae.”
Ben chuckled. “You’re learned the Fae language? At twelve? Wow. I am impressed.”
“Thank you. I spent hours translating the poems and memorizing words.”
“Must have driven your parents crazy.”
Charlie felt her smile falter. “You could say that.” She glanced away, staring at her sad little salad like it held the secrets of the universe.
“Have you seen the TV series yet? I think they did a good job with it, even though it doesn’t always follow the books.”
She looked back at him and tried not to give anything away. “I have, and I agree; it’s good.”
“Charlie?” Ben’s voice quieted, deepened. “Are you b-busy…”
Her heart stopped. Busy tonight? This weekend? Is he asking me on a date? His gaze was fixed on her, intent.
“…watching Shelly?”
And, her hopes evaporated. Of course he wasn’t asking her out. He was concerned about the woman he rescued, that’s all.
“No. I drove her to her friend’s place this morning. That’s why I’m back in the office instead of the safehouse.”
“Ah.” Ben said. “Yeah, I sh-should have realized that.” He shook his head.
Sure, castrate a guy, Charlene. Men don’t like women who make them feel stupid. No wonder you’re alone, the hated voice in her head said.
“Thank you for helping her,” Ben said quietly, his voice low enough that only she could hear.
Charlie glanced up at him—up, because even at six feet she still had to look up to meet his eyes—and found him watching her with an expression she couldn’t quite read.
“It’s my job,” she said, keeping her voice steady.
“It’s more than that.” He held her gaze for a moment longer, and Charlie felt her heart do something complicated and inconvenient in her chest.
Then he looked away, and the moment was broken.
Just a job, Charlie reminded herself. He’s just being polite.
But what if it was more than being polite?
“I’ll let you finish lunch.” He started to turn away, humming The Lady of Shalott.
Before she could think better of it, Charlie said, “Maybe we—”
And men like pushy women even less. Damsels in distress, not women who act like men. Jesus, Charlene.
“—will see each other around sometime,” she finished lamely.
We’ll see each other around? Did I really just say that?
Ben stopped without turning back around. “Take care, Charlie.”
Charlie watched Ben Massey’s broad back disappear around a corner as his soft singing drifted back to her, making her shiver. He had a lovely, deep singing voice.
And I blew it.
She set her pen caddy down on her desk and opened the drawer.
Her paperback copy of Sword of Embers wasn’t a first edition, but she’d had it for years and it showed, the binding cracked in a dozen places where she’d read certain pages over and over, committing them to memory.
She’d made a habit of reading the entire series start to finish at least once a year, and her favorite parts whenever she felt blue.
Charlie ran her hand over the cover. She hadn’t lied when she told Ben she was reading it for research on her next client.
I can’t believe I told him it’s my favorite book, let alone that I know Fae. She cringed. Charlie hadn’t told anyone that, ever.
Just like Sir Mariel of the Ashensworn, Charlie couldn’t afford to take off her armor and show anyone who she really was.
Though she had, just a little last night with Shelly.
Shelly had spent the night at one of the Watchdog safehouses even after Charlie had gotten word from Shane that Morrison was in custody.
It was like a dam broke for her, and she spent most of the night pouring out her pent-up grief and fear to Charlie.
How Morrison had seemed so protective of her in the beginning.
How he promised that since he was a cop, he knew how to keep her safe.
How his protection started to feel smothering.
His expectations that she be home when he wanted her to be regardless of her plans.
To agree with everything he said and believed because ‘the world was dangerous, she was weak, he knew best, and it was for her own good.’ Until finally she realized his ‘protection’ was how he controlled her.
“I told him yesterday that I didn’t need his so-called protection,” she said between sobs.
“And do you know what he said? He said I didn’t know what I was talking about and that I was getting it whether I wanted it or not.
” She shuddered so hard, Charlie did what she almost never did with a client and put her arm around her.
“Then he went back to accusing me of cheating on him.” She gave Charlie a bitter laugh.
“Because why else would I possibly want to make my own decisions and live my own life?” she added, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “God, I’m so stupid.”
“No, you aren’t. It creeps up on us, sometimes,” Charlie said. “The people who you think you can trust the most, who are supposed to be our protectors, can use that protection, twist it, until they have us caught, blaming ourselves, telling ourselves we’re stupid, or weak, or na?ve.”
Shelly sniffled. “Voice of experience?”
Charlie smiled softly. “Something like that.”
And that was as much as she was willing to share.
“I can’t believe it. You seem like such a badass.”
Right.
“Why don’t you try to get some sleep? You’ve got to be exhausted. Tomorrow, you can think about your next move. I’ll be right in the front room. If you need anything, just call out.” Charlie gave her what she thought of as her ‘professional smile’ and stood to leave.
“Thanks, Charlie,” Shelly called after her. “You’re very honorable.”
That did put a genuine smile on Charlie’s face.
Shelly decided that morning to take up her friend’s offer to stay with her, and George and Kyle’s offer to collect the last of her things from Morrison’s house. Charlie dropped Shelly off at her friend’s place and refused any money from Shelly.
Her phone buzzed ad she picked it up, irrationally hoping that Ben was somehow texting her. But it was just Kyle, letting her know that her client would be there in half an hour. She texted back a thumbs up, and returned to her favorite book.
My favorite…and Ben’s.