21. Chapter Twenty-one
Linorra slammed the door closed behind Syndeth, panting. He’d barely fit through the door, as large as it was. If it had been any smaller, her friend would have been meat for dwarfs.
“That was too close,” Linorra said. “I don’t understand why Viktor would send us there, do you? The dwarfs didn’t even have the magic sword. It’s very odd.”
“It’s not odd to me,” Syndeth said. “If that man is truly your future husband, I suspect you’ll have a lot more of these bothersome adventures.”
“Aaron, you’re back,” I said lamely.
“What is he doing in our bed, Lee?” Aaron asked. He was fuming but kept it under control, though I could feel the heat coming off him from across the room. Then, I heard a high-pitched popping noise and we all jumped in surprise. Aaron held the bracelet up to look at it, and one of the little stones fell to the floor, split in half.
Okay, maybe not.
“Aaron, Ward’s, um . . . spirit is injured. I needed to heal him.”
“In our bed? I know exactly how it feels to be healed, and I know exactly why he lifted his hips up just now. How could you do this? This is too far. How could he possibly be injured enough for you to make this kind of contact with him in our bed?”
The way he said our bed instead of my bed said everything. I had not taken this seriously enough. Aaron considered it to be a sacred space, just for us, and I had laid his competition right down in the center of it. The volume of his voice grew with each word he uttered, and his face took on a deep shade of scarlet.
I stood, inching toward him slowly as if I avoided spooking a frightened cat. “I’m sorry, Aaron. You’re right. The bed thing was a terrible idea. Ward tried to tell me, but I wouldn’t listen. I’m so sorry. But this is not what you think.”
“I want him out,” Aaron said. Ward sat up at the side of the bed. He moved as slowly and silently as possible, like he believed Aaron might attack him. I was beginning to think he might be right.
“Fine, I’ll send him downstairs.”
“No, Lee. I want him out of this house. I don’t want him here anymore.”
I sucked in a breath. I had badly misjudged the situation. I knew Aaron would be angry about what we were doing, but I had not understood how much.
“Aaron, please listen.” I was close to him now, almost touching him. “I need to be able to heal people,” I said as quietly as possible. “I’ll probably heal a lot of people in the near future. I’m sorry about the bed thing, but there’s nothing inappropriate going on here. I swear.” I took his hand, connecting. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
I was trying to warn him. I hadn’t finished healing Ward, and I wasn’t convinced I had actually given him any of my Protection reservoir. Now that I understood the depth of his pain, I couldn’t leave him alone. There was no way in hell I would let Ward be banished because of my stupidity and then not go after him.
“I’m sure. The sooner the better,” he said.
I just stared at him, shaking my head. I didn’t know what else to say. I wasn’t going to argue. “Fine,” I said, clenching my jaw. I let go of his hand. “I’ll get my pack,” I said.
“I don’t need your pack,” Ward said. “I’ll go now. It’s okay.”
“It’s not for you,” I said. I turned away from Aaron and walked over to the corner of the room where I kept my things. “I’ll meet you downstairs, Ward. Don’t leave without me because I’ll have to follow you, and I’d rather not walk alone.” I pulled the pack out and shoved things in.
“Lee,” Aaron said. “That’s not what I meant.”
I didn’t answer. I was sick and tired of his temper and jealousy and wanted to be done with it.
Rain tapped on the oculus, and I looked up to see that it was still dark outside. It wouldn’t be right to take the oil lamp, but I still had my flashlight and had recently charged my watch. I found the watch and tried to put it on, but my hands shook, and I dropped it. I picked it up again and stuffed it in the pocket of my pants, then continued packing, stuffing in the survival and first aid kits.
It should be light soon, I thought. I’ve hiked in the rain before. My feet will be wet, but my coat is waterproof, and my pack has a rain cover. I’ll be fine.
“Lee, please. Calm down,” Aaron said.
I snorted derisively but still didn’t respond. This was my fault. I’d led Ward astray, and now I had to face the consequences. Ward fled the awkward scene, and I watched him go, but before he descended the ladder, he stopped, his eyes on his feet.
My throat burned and tears blurred my vision as I tore Jorin’s tunic off over my head, completely heedless of the fact that I wasn’t wearing a bra.
“Lee, what are you doing?” Aaron asked, sounding shocked. He looked over at Ward, who still stood there. He shifted his body to block Ward’s view of me. I rolled my eyes.
“He’s seen it a thousand times, Aaron,” I said.
“And I’m gay,” Ward said quietly.
I stopped in my tracks. Did he just say what I think he said? Something was different about Ward, but I couldn’t put my finger on why at first. Then, he lifted his left hand to his face and I saw it.
“Ward,” I said reverently, “your face is healed.”
“So are my eyes,” he whispered.
I waited for Aaron’s reaction, but his attention was on Ward, who still stood, peering down the ladder into the closet. Finally, Ward raised his chin and looked Aaron in the eye.
“I have no romantic interest in Lina or any other woman, Aaron,” Ward said. “I’m gay, but I’m still leaving. Lina, you stay. Thanks for trying to protect me. You’ve been an amazing friend. Far better than I deserve. It’s time I returned the favor.”
“No,” I declared stubbornly. “I’m coming with you.” There was no fragging way I would stay here while my friend went out into the cold rain alone. Ward descended the ladder without answering, and Aaron stared after him. I couldn’t see Aaron’s face and I didn’t want to. “Don’t leave without me!” I yelled.
I found my jog bra and pulled it on as fast as I could, then threw my original clothes from home back on. Socks, shoes, and jacket went on, then I finished ramming things into my pack and strapped it on.
“Lee, don’t go,” Aaron said. “At least wait until morning. It’s way too late to storm off.”
I stared at him, confused, then checked my watch. It said 10:30 p.m. What the hell?
“Lina!” Spirit shouted. It startled me, and I glanced up to see that she stood over by the trapdoor as if she’d come through it. She looked panicked.
Ghosts don’t panic,I thought.
Aaron’s eyes darted around the room as if he’d heard Spirit. Had we mixed our reservoirs so much that he could hear her now?
“Spirit? What’s happening?” I asked.
“Seleca ordered Magister Axel to personally come to this house to either find you or wait for you. He’s leaving as we speak.”
“How long will it take him to get here?” I asked.
“Walking? A couple days,” said Aaron. “It’s a hundred kilometers by the Caravan Trail.”
“He’ll be here in one minute, maybe less,” Spirit said.
“What?!” Aaron and I both yelled.
“He’s a teleporter,” Spirit said.
I stared at Spirit, stunned. Then it hit me. “This could be an opportunity,” I said. “Maybe I can absorb his reservoir.”
“We could go to Earth,” Aaron said.
“We could start our revolution,” I countered stubbornly. And I could help Ward.
Spirit eyed me. I’ll tell you later, I thought.
She nodded, then looked at Aaron pensively. “You can hear me now,” she said. Aaron didn’t respond, but he glanced in her direction.
“No time for that,” I said. “What should we do? Should we try a sneak attack? Wait up here for him to get comfortable, then surprise him?”
“Maybe,” Spirit said, “but Axel doesn’t seem the type to wait around or do things he doesn’t want to do. He may just burn the house down, or he may send in one of his minions.”
“We’ll have to take our chances if we want to take his reservoir,” Aaron said. He still looked stunned, but he was shaking himself loose of it.
I, on the other hand, was panicking. “Do we know if he’s protected?” I asked. “I’ve never killed anyone before. I don’t think I could do it.”
“You won’t have to. I’ll do it if it comes to that,” Aaron said, marching over to his wooden chest. He wrenched the top all the way off.
“I didn’t hear anything about Protection,” Spirit said, “and I haven’t seen him using it, but maybe it just didn’t come up. I’m not sure.”
“You can see fragments?” I asked. “Like how I see them within the shield?”
Spirit nodded. “Yes, but only when they’re actively being used, and I can’t sense resonance.”
Aaron tore extra knives and bolts out of the chest, then pulled his small crossbow out of the utility vest that he still wore from his hike. He loaded it with five bolts and slipped the remaining weapons into various straps in his vest. I watched his process, mesmerized, then realized that I looked like an idiot standing there. I don’t have a process, so maybe I am one. That sentiment gathered more and more evidence as the day wore on.
“We could just run,” I said quietly. “We aren’t prepared for this. Spirit, can you check on Axel’s status, please? Where is he?”
Spirit blinked in and out. “He’s out in the yard,” Spirit said.
“Too late to run,” Aaron said.
“Shit! We need to bring Ward up here!”
“Too late for that too,” Spirit said. “He was just leaving the house when Axel showed up. They grabbed him and are holding him down there.”
My heart dropped into my stomach. “No. This can’t be happening,” I said, my hands coming to my head.
“Too late to pretend we’re not here,” Aaron said. “How many people does he have with him, Spirit?”
“Two holding Ward,” she said. “Four more besides, two at the front door with Axel and two at the back. All giant thugs. Actually, they look sort of like giant überzombies.”
“They might be thralls trapped in a Projectiontrance,” Aaron said. He appeared as if he might say something else, but we heard a hard banging on the front door.
“Aaron Atticus!” a man shouted. His voice was so piercingly loud that it practically shook the house. “I know you’re in there. Come out or I will burn this house to the ground. Bring the girl with you. You have one minute.”
“Axel,” Aaron hissed, a look of pure hatred on his face.
It’s unnerving to experience the beginning of an event knowing that you’re about to go through something horrific. It’s a bit like driving yourself in for surgery with the knowledge that they won’t be using anesthesia. My mind spun, trying to come up with some kind of solution. Could we overpower two überzombies and run out the back? Should we come out shooting? Both of those things could have disastrous consequences for Ward, not to mention the fact that Axel’s thralls were probably victims, just like us.
“A shield,” Aaron said. “We’ll go out the escape hatch with a shield around us and surprise them from the side. That will steal their positional advantage and give us time to negotiate. Come on.” Aaron got up and headed for the small door to the secret hallway and unlatched it, swinging it open.
I kept my pack on in case we needed to make a break for it and followed him through the door. Though it irked me to follow commands, Aaron knew the house layout and the enemy better than I did. He was calm, whereas I was a panicky mess, and he had all the weapons.
Wait, why does he have all the weapons?
Aaron didn’t give me a chance to question him further. He ducked through the small doorway and into a dark, narrow hallway. I followed him, turning down the hallway to the right. We came to a panel, which Aaron unlatched and removed, placing it to the side. A rope attached to a metal brace jutted out above the panel’s frame.
Aaron stuck his head out to look around, then threw the rope down. He held his hand out to me. I stared at it for a second, hesitating, then scooched in close to him without taking his hand. I didn’t want to connect if I could help it. He grimaced, then wrapped his arm under my pack and around my waist.
“Start pulling up the shield,” he said. “I’ll lower us down.” I nodded, avoiding his eyes. He leaned out of the panel into the open air, taking me with him. Enormous raindrops slapped my face as I placed my hand on my chest, sending Protection into my own heart. The colorful lights swirled around us like fireflies, interacting with the raindrops and making hissing sounds. I couldn’t open the shield wide enough to encompass both of our bodies without pushing the rope outside of the shield, but I held a small sphere ready to expand outward.
Aaron’s hand slipped a little on the wet rope and he hugged me to him tightly. It felt good, and I wanted to hug him back, but I reminded myself that we were breaking up. That thought swept me out of my terror and into a desperate anguish.
I had hoped that time with me would give him confidence and security, but it hadn’t worked. Sure, he now knew that Ward was gay; though, I still wasn’t sure if he fully understood what that meant, but that didn’t change the fact that he had attempted to control me and limit the people with whom I interacted. He had intended to isolate me.
Maybe it wasn’t his fault,I thought. I am sneaky and manipulative, it’s true, and his Evocation fragment makes emotional regulation challenging and—
Stop making excuses for him,Spirit snapped, her voice echoing through my head like a bullet. I winced, then spotted her on the ground below, waiting for us to finish our descent. He’s a grown man. I feel bad for him, too, but it’s not your job to fix him. Either he’s giving you what you need or he isn’t, and you deserve to get what you need. If you can’t be with me, then at least hold him accountable. You’re allowed to have friends, Lina. Now stop thinking about this crap and concentrate.
I stared down at Spirit as we descended, surprised. You were never just a friend to me, Spirit,I thought to her. You’ve always been more like a—
If you put “sister” in that blank, I’m going straight over the death bridge.
Soulmate.
We stared at each other as Aaron and I landed on the ground. There was nothing more to say. We loved each other, but we had missed our chance, and now I had a job to do. I broke eye contact first, swallowing my emotions. They wouldn’t do me any good now.
The shield solidified into a transparent barrier with the colored lights flickering within the barrier itself. Aqua, green, blood-red, and magenta were there as before, but with two more colors added. A bright vermilion flame appeared, a result of mixing reservoirs with Aaron, and now, a new fragment that took the form of swirling, molten gold.
Hello, my pretty. Where did you come from?
I heard a tapping noise and looked up to see rain hitting the top of the curved shield and sliding down the side.
Aaron took my hand so we could both be inside the shield, pulling me into a deep Connectionlink. The uninvited closeness was uncomfortable, but my attention was pulled away from that fact by another bang, bang, bang on the front door.
“Aaron Atticus! Last chance! I’m going to burn this place down and then kill your dog. Painfully.” I cringed, recalling that “dog” was what they called gay people here.
Hurry, Aaron thought. We jogged together toward the front of the house. There was something about the way Axel spoke that made me believe he would not only kill Ward but enjoy it. I hadn’t even seen this man yet and I had already reconsidered whether I could murder him. I wondered idly whether I could use Conjuration to rip his soul right out of his body.
Maybe eventually, Spirit thought to me, but I doubt you’re strong enough yet, and I don’t think you could absorb his reservoir if you did that. His spirit would depart and take his reservoir with it.
We slowed to a walk as we reached the corner of the house. Aaron peeked around. They’re all still at the doors,he thought. They must be under Projection, otherwise one of those idiots might have thought to check for an escape route.
They are. I can see it, Spirit thought. Their spirits have a dark purple haze around them, almost an indigo color. It’s strangely hypnotic. It’s beautiful.
“Stay with me, Spirit,” I whispered. “Don’t go near them. Stay close to me.” Spirit didn’t look at me, instead drifting toward the überzombies. Spirit! Stay with me! I thought to her urgently. She turned her eyes to me. Focus. I need you to direct Axel’s thoughts to me. Tell me what he’s thinking.
Aaron gasped. What is this? You can read minds now?
Spirit can, not me.
Spirit shook her head as if to wake herself up, and then I heard Axel’s thoughts drifting in. They were audible, as if coming from a radio station with poor reception, but somehow also conveyed context, feelings, and desires. I knew what Axel wanted and what he would do to get it. His voice was Spirit’s interpretation, though, and didn’t remotely match the voice I heard with my ears, sounding instead like Jafar from Disney’s Aladdin.
One moment more, Axel thought, then I get to do my favorite thing. He gazed down at the torch he held in his hand, entranced. This man loved fire. He itched to burn down the house, regardless of what Aaron did. The only question was who would be inside the house when it burned down and how much the rain would impede his efforts.
Axel glanced over his shoulder at Ward, who lay on the ground, soaked and muddy, but essentially okay. Two men, one with long, dark auburn hair, and one with short, curly black hair, stood on either side of Ward, their dark eyes strangely blank.
A third man, the smallest of the group, stood beside Axel, holding an umbrella. He was really too petite to be called an über-zombie. He was even shorter than Aaron. The last man, much larger than the rest, stood a bit farther away, rocking back and forth as if agitated. Axel didn’t notice his distress.
Axel pondered his next move. Should I throw the dog back in the house? No, I suppose not. We might still need him. He looked back at the house. I hope they come out. I want to see this girl the Holy Daughter is so afraid of that she let her linger here for more than two months. It would be a waste to kill her without at least using her first.
Aaron and I both cringed at the word “using.” This man’s RTA had officially reached a hundred percent. He intended to rape me right in front of Aaron. To him, that was the most humiliating thing you could do to both a woman and her lover, and he liked doing it almost as much as he liked burning down houses with people inside them. He anticipated doing both today, but I wouldn’t be the one burning in the house as he’d been instructed to bring me back to the palace in one piece. He’d opened the front door and left it ajar with the intention of catching me and Aaron in the foyer so he could complete the task. Aaron’s plan had saved us from that.
Aaron squeezed my hand so hard I almost pulled it away from him. Sorry, he thought, relaxing. He cocked his crossbow, imagining Axel’s neck explode.
My attitude toward Aaron softened despite Spirit’s chastisement. Maybe I overreacted, I thought. I somehow heard Spirit roll her eyes.
Aaron turned to me, gazing down into my face. I won’t let him hurt you, he thought to me. I love you.
Aaron’s eyes widened as he heard himself think that last part. He hadn’t meant to send me that thought. He looked into my eyes, searching for my reaction.
I froze, not knowing how to respond. The sentiment squashed any anger I had left, but it was such awkward timing. Not only were we in danger, but I had literally just recognized that I’d probably been in love with Spirit, or at least had loving feelings toward her. I wasn’t even sure what that meant.
Now that my righteous fury had subsided, it was obvious to me that I would have regretted leaving the farm with Ward. I would have missed Aaron’s intensity and the way he listened so carefully to everything I said, thoughtfully commenting. Aside from his jealousy, he was very accommodating, tolerating my messiness and my strange Earth ways, and patiently teaching me what I needed to know about surviving life on Monash. I would have missed his beautiful face and his warm hands. I would have missed him terribly, but did that mean I loved him? I didn’t know for sure. The question made my stomach twist into knots.
The answer is simple, Spirit thought to me confidentially. Can you see yourself staying with him forever and having his babies?
Spirit—
It’s okay,she thought. It’s okay to choose him, to trust him. He’s kind of an asshole, but he won’t do what Drew did to you, Lina. He’s all in. That, I know for sure.
I stared up into Aaron’s face and sighed heavily, then nodded. The answer was yes, I could see myself doing those things. Dammit.
One corner of Aaron’s mouth twitched up, though I knew he wasn’t satisfied with that lukewarm answer. Nevertheless, he bent down and kissed me, holding me to him a little too tightly. Okay, he thought. That will suffice for now. Let’s go.