Chapter 26
Collins
“Collins…Collins!” Tim’s voice cut through my fog of thoughts in the cafeteria.
I blinked, shaking myself out of the daydream that had me glued to some faraway corner of my mind.
“Why are you so deep in thought?” he asked, setting his tray down across from me.
I barely touched my own food. My appetite had vanished the moment I woke up this morning. There was only one person on my mind, and it wasn’t anyone here. Two days. Two days since I last saw her awake, and I was already missing her like crazy. Walking away hurt. Staying might have destroyed her.
Every time I told myself I wouldn’t pass her room, my legs betrayed me, dragging me to her door like a magnet. The longing was too much. Wanting her wasn’t the danger.
Letting her feel it was.
“Just thinking about something,” I muttered, keeping my eyes on my tray.
“Anna?” Tim’s tone wasn’t accusatory—it was sharp, teasing, but there was something else behind it, like he could see right through me.
“No,” I lied, forcing my voice to sound casual.
He raised an eyebrow, the universal Tim ‘I know you’re lying’ look.
I groaned silently. “Okay, okay,” I admitted, throwing my hands up slightly. “Fine. I am thinking about her. Just…wondering how she’s doing.”
Tim leaned back, smirking knowingly. “Ah. The great Dr. Collins, lost in thought over a patient. That’s new.”
I rubbed the back of my neck, uneasy under his gaze. “Two days awake and already she’s got my entire attention. I can’t…it’s like I’m tethered to her, and it scares the hell out of me.”
Tim just shook his head, a small grin tugging at his lips. “Welcome to the problem you’ve created for yourself, my friend.”
I stared at my untouched food, heart still pumping. He had no idea. Every moment of my day somehow circled back to Anna. And it wasn’t just care. It was…something else. Something I wasn’t ready for.
I walked past her room, telling myself it was just a coincidence. Just another corridor, just another door. But my feet slowed anyway. I turned my head—just enough to steal a glance.
Marlon was with her, adjusting something near her bed. I stayed at the doorway, hidden in plain sight, unable to stop myself from watching. She looked so small against the white sheets. So fragile.
Marlon suddenly turned. “Collins!”
The sound of my name carried into the room.
She shifted her head slightly. Just a little. But enough for her eyes to find me.
And that’s when I saw the monitor jumped. A sharp, sudden spike.
Her heart already knew what mine was trying to forget.
And that terrified me more than any diagnosis.
Marlon noticed too. His eyes flicked from the screen to me. He walked toward the door, closing it behind him so we were alone in the corridor.
“Did you see that?” he asked.
“The monitor?” I said quietly.
“Yes. It was steady the entire time. The moment she saw you, it spiked. That doesn’t happen. Ever.”
My chest tightened. “It’s the second time it’s happened. If her body reacted to me before her mind could protect her, then I was already a risk.”
“I don’t think so.” He lowered his voice.
“But I can tell you this—she’s deteriorating since you left her side.
The therapists say she’s not responding to them.
No progress. And I see it too. Even with me.
I was here with the speech therapist earlier—it’s like she doesn’t want to respond. Like she’s… withdrawn.”
I swallowed. “What are you saying?”
“I think she needs you, Collins.”
That was the problem.
If she needed me, I would become a wound the day I had to let her go.
“I can’t take her back,” I said immediately. “You know that.”
“I’m not asking you to. Just be with me when I see her. Observe. Be present. Let’s see if it makes a difference in her treatment.”
I hesitated. Every instinct in me said this was not a good idea. For her. For me.
But then I saw her face again in my mind. The spike. The way her eyes found mine.
“Okay,” I said quietly. “When?”
“Tomorrow, 9am.”
“I’ll be here.”
I reached into my pocket and pulled out three small crystal beads. They were smooth and cool in my palm. Today made the third day I’d skipped placing them in her jar. I just… couldn’t bring myself to go in.
“Can you do me a favour?” I asked.
“Anytime.”
“Please put these into the crystal jar next to her bed.”
If she thought they were from me, she’d start reaching for me.
And I didn’t trust myself to pull away once she did.
He smiled softly. “Ah. I was wondering who’s been doing that.”
“Her father said she loves crystal beads. So I’ve been filling the jar every day since I found out.”
“Ooh, Collins,” he teased gently. “Didn’t know you had it in you. Yesterday, when she noticed the jar, her eyes lit up. That smile? Biggest I’ve seen from her so far.”
My chest tightened. “Don’t tell her it’s from me.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t want her to get the wrong idea.”
“But it wouldn’t be the wrong idea.”
I looked at him. “You know what I mean. Just… don’t. Please.”
He raised his hand and mimed zipping his lips. “Sealed.”
“I’m going to check on her,” he said. “We’ll talk later.”
“Yeah,” I replied quietly.
As he walked back into her room, I stayed where I was, staring at the closed door—already counting the hours until 9am