Chapter 28
Layla
The fear and anxiety of leaving Earth and everything and everyone I know behind is completely overshadowed by the sensation of space travel.
Zayd strapped Sutton and me into our seats for takeoff.
The thrust of the engines forced gravity onto my bones like a ton of bricks.
But ever since we exited the atmosphere, all I have been able to do is sit and stare, slack-jawed at the planet we left behind and the vast, star-speckled nothingness ahead of us.
“It is safe to walk around the ship now,” Zayd says, unbuckling his own harness. “The cabin gravity is stable. However, your limbs may feel a bit heavy as your body adjusts.”
Sutton unbuckles and stands next to Zayd. They don’t move, I guess, waiting for me to join them.
I click the latch on my buckle and slough it off. When I move to stand, I feel a pull like the ship is taking off again.
Sutton smiles and takes my hand. “It’s like after riding a really big roller coaster or swimming in the ocean. Your body remembers the motion too well.” Knowing Sutton feels it too eases my concern, and I force my muscles to move at my command.
“What now?” I ask, standing with them.
Their confident presence reassures me that we did the right thing, leaving Earth. I can’t imagine my life without them or with only one of them. It is supposed to be the three of us. We just need to figure out how to become one.
“I can tell you, I don’t think I’ll be eating anytime soon,” Sutton says, holding his stomach.
“How long is it supposed to take to get to this new planet?” I ask, stroking Sutton’s dark hair, then kissing his cheek.
His smile tells me my touch eases his discomfort.
“Drink this.” Zayd hands Sutton a shot glass of clear liquid he takes from a replicator set into the wall behind the captain’s chair.
Sutton holds up his hand to refuse it. “I don’t think alcohol—”
“It will help with the nausea. Trust me.” Zayd palms the back of Sutton’s head and holds the glass to his lips. “Drink.” The gesture is stern but kind.
After Sutton finishes the shot, the male’s eyes stay locked on each other. Their faces so close it wouldn’t take but a slight tilt of their heads for their lips to touch.
Part of me wants to pull them apart. Thankfully, I realize, very quickly, that it’s an old part that only wants to remember Sutton as my husband. He still is my husband, but he’s also my mate. One of two. I think.
The more I examine the way Sutton and Zayd look at each other, the more I wonder if I am theirs or if they are… something else.
“Layla, baby, are you okay?” Sutton asks, and Zayd catches the tear running down my cheek with the soft pad of his black-clawed finger.
“Would you like me to get you a tincture?” Zayd asks.
“No. It’s not my stomach,” I say and struggle to swallow the fear building in my throat.
“What is it, baby?” Sutton asks again.
“Is there someplace we can sit down and talk?” I ask.
“This way,” Zayd says and leads us through the narrow passage between the cockpit and the rest of the ship.
Even though the ship was built to carry four Throkyn alphas, I feel like the walls are caving in on us.
When we reach the galley, I realize that it’s just my anxiety suffocating me.
We all sit around the table, me at the end and them on either side. I feel so silly, like a child, sitting at the alpha-sized table while they look completely normal.
“Tell us what is on your mind, omega,” Zayd says so sweetly, with so much care and concern laced in every word that I almost forget what I wanted to talk about.
“I know this is scary, baby, but we’ll figure it out. Zayd and I aren’t going to let anything bad happen to you.” When Sutton slides his hand across the table to hold Zayd’s hand before his other hand finds mine, my reason floods back in.
“We need to figure out how this works,” I blurt out.
“That’s what I’m saying, baby,” Sutton says.
“No. I mean, the bond. Will it even work? If so, how does it work? How are we supposed to figure it out?” My anxiety is so high that I can barely catch my breath.
Zayd joins his hand with mine now, linking the three of us together.
“Well, let us look at what we do know. We know that there is a bond between you and Sutton. That is the only explanation for why your heat behaved the way it did when he was incapacitated. We know that Sutton has venomous fangs, and we can surmise that he used them to bond with you, but because his venom heals, you never saw the evidence of it. From our recent experiences, we know Sutton does not have a knot.”
Sutton hums, curiously.
“What?” I ask him.
His lips stretch into a thin line before he answers, “I’m not entirely sure that’s accurate.”
“What? I’ve never seen it or… felt it.” I don’t know why this is still embarrassing to talk about. After everything the three of us have done together? I would have thought that talk like this would feel like casual conversation.
“I think I’ve felt it,” Sutton says. “Like… It feels like there wants to be something there.”
“How long have you known this?” I ask, unable to hide my shock and the slight feeling of betrayal.
“Always.” Sutton shrugs. “But I just thought it was normal. That every guy felt the same. Now, I don’t know. Maybe it’s something else.”
Zayd’s face is the definition of contemplation. “If that is true, I would say our first hurdle is to figure out what you need for your knot to fully form.”
My heart sinks as I slip my hands out of theirs and into my lap. “Well… We know it’s not me.”
“Layla. Baby.” Sutton shifts out of his seat to kneel beside my chair, holding my hand in my lap in both of his. “If you’re suggesting that we have the wrong omega…”
“No,” I say. “I’m afraid you don’t need an omega at all. You can deny it all you want, but I’ve seen the way you two look at each other.”
“Whatever looks I give Zayd that make you feel like I don’t want you, I only give him because of the scent you leave on him. Without your scent, what happened in our domicile before we left would never have happened,” Sutton says confidently.
“Then, if you can knot, why haven’t you knotted me yet?” I ask.
“It is like Razyr said,” Zayd explains, “Sutton is human. His traits do not manifest in the same ways ours do.”
“Okay,” I say, still feeling like I’m on the edge of losing everything I have left if I say what I’m really thinking, but I don’t feel like I have a choice.
“Well, we know Sutton’s knot is not triggered by me, and I’m not suggesting that you cut me out completely…
What I’m trying to say is, Sutton and I have a bond, and it doesn’t work.
There is obviously something going on between you two.
Maybe the two of you need to bond for Sutton’s designation to be fully realized or whatever.
After all, look at how you’ve changed over the last month.
” I wave a hand up and down, gesturing at all of Sutton.
“The size and definition of your muscles. The timbre of your voice. All of these things have changed with your exposure to Zayd.”
Sutton and Zayd both go dead still. The room is so thick with silence, I don’t even hear the hum of the ship anymore.
When Sutton finally speaks, his words are barely audible. “Are you suggesting Zayd and I… That he and I have sex? Like… with each other. Without you involved.”
I nod.
“No,” Zayd says, his tone low and authoritative. “I do not know how this is supposed to work, but I do know that it is supposed to involve the three of us.”
“I’m sorry, guys. But I think you are denying what you know has been happening between you.”
“If any bond is necessary, it is the one between you and me, omega.” Zayd stands. “I will not entertain any other possibilities. No alpha has ever bedded another male. Regardless of the way your scent on Sutton makes me feel, that is not the solution.” Zayd storms off as tears well in my eyes.
“Stay here,” Sutton says when I start to get up to go after Zayd. “Let me talk to him.”
My heart twists. Zayd may be angry at the idea, but my instincts still tell me I’m right, and the idea of letting Sutton go after him, alone, scares the shit out of me.
But what other choice do I have? If I am right, why stand in the way of the inevitable?
Sutton gets on his feet. Standing before me, he lifts my face with a finger under my chin to look him in the eyes. “I promised I would never abandon you again. I hope I can trust you not to abandon me either.”
Tears pour down my cheeks.
“I know you’re scared, baby,” Sutton says. “But the worst thing we can do is push each other away. Even if I know nothing else, I know we need each other. Do we have you?”
I try to speak, but my voice is choked out by the tears. All I can manage to do is nod.
“Good.” Sutton leans down and kisses me, breathing life into me. Giving me hope.
“Trust me,” he says and follows Zayd’s path.
I whisper in his wake, “Always.”