Chapter 2 #2
“I know.” She nodded, her heart breaking with both pride and loss. “You won’t let your handicap hinder you. You won’t let anything—”
“It’s not a handicap!” he snapped. Then he frowned, and she noticed he was sweating. “I mean, of course it is, but it won’t stop me.”
“I know it won’t,” she repeated. “Gary, do you feel okay?”
“Of course I’m okay!” he huffed. “Remember last week when you said you wanted to break out of your routine? You said you were a full-grown woman who was ready to embrace everything that life offered.”
She blew out a breath. Yeah, she’d said that, but in a moment of weakness. Given her problem, the best she could hope for was hang-gliding or a painting class.
“Embrace life with me.” He leaned forward, his entire body coiled with power. “I don’t need legs. Not to kiss your breasts. Not to lick you to a thousand screaming Os. And the toys they have these days are better than any man! I mean, no man can vibrate a thousand times a second.”
“Gary!” she gasped.
“I love you, Margaret. I have for a really long time. I want you to love me, too.”
“I do love you!” she said without thinking. Then: “But I can’t be with you.”
He took a moment to absorb her words. His body stilled, and his jaw clenched. “You just said you love me.”
“I do,” she admitted. “But it doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it matters!” he snapped, his face tight.
“I love you, and you love me. That’s what I needed to hear.
The other stuff…” He gestured angrily to his wheelchair.
“We can figure it out. I’m still a man, Margaret.
I can—and will—give you physical pleasure.
It doesn’t take a working dick to do so. Unless you don’t want to be seen with—”
“Stop it right there!” Margaret hissed. “This has nothing to do with your paralysis.”
He snorted. “So what is it? I can give you love, money, a thousand orgasms. Everything you could possibly want.”
“No,” she said miserably. She reached over and pressed the ring box shut. Then she pulled it out of his overheated hand and set it aside. “You can’t. Because you can’t fix me.”
“Margaret—,” he began, but she touched his face, forcing him to look directly into her eyes.
“You’re my best friend,” she began.
“I—”
“Shut up. It’s your turn to listen.”
He ground his teeth together, and for a moment she thought she’d gone too far. He seemed so physically powerful sitting there. A wildness flared in his eyes, ferocity that would frighten her in anyone else.
“I know you’re a real man,” she continued. “And any real woman would be thrilled to have you.”
But she wasn’t a real woman.
“You think I don’t see those washboard abs?
Those broad shoulders and this rugged jaw.
” She cupped his face and felt the slight scratch of his five o’clock shadow.
He was handsome, rich, kind… But she was dead down there.
He wanted a sex life, and she couldn’t give him one.
And she’d be damned if she’d promise him anything less than what he deserved. Her parents had done that, and—
“Margaret.”
“Gary, please listen.”
He gripped her arm and hauled her forward, trying to get his mouth on hers. For a moment she had a vision of a movie kiss, passionate and life-changing. But that couldn’t happen with her. She was who she was.
Unfortunately, the angle was awkward, and she had levered up on one knee.
With his sudden grip she lost her balance.
She grabbed his shoulder with one hand while scrambling to get her bare foot out from under her.
Worse—for a brief moment—she gave in to temptation.
She wondered if maybe he could fix her. Maybe he had enough power to force feeling into her frozen body.
If anybody could will her better, it would be him.
His grip tightened, and it seemed like he was doing just that. “I need you to see me, Margaret. I need you to know what I feel!”
Anguish cut off her breath. She did know, but she was the problem.
It was humiliating to admit, even to her best friend.
Hell, she barely wanted to admit it to herself.
Sex was a normal, natural part of life, but she couldn’t enjoy it.
She could never feel the pleasure, and so she could never truly give it to him either.
Not the way he wanted. So she had to break her best friend’s heart.
“I do see you,” she said, her words choked with tears. “But you have to let me go.”
He didn’t want to. His jaw clenched so hard that she feared for his teeth, but his fingers opened one after the other. And that was what she loved about Gary. He listened.
She’d gotten her leg onto the floor and enough leverage to push herself out his arms. And so now it was time to crush him—and herself. “I can’t be with you.”
“Why not?”
“Because you deserve better.”
He dropped back onto the couch. “What?”
He obviously thought she was lying, that this was about his legs. The idea crushed her. “This has nothing to do with you.”
“With what then?” he said, his brow arched.
She couldn’t speak. The one time she’d told anyone about her problem had been a nightmare.
Her last boyfriend. He’d pretended to be understanding, but he’d never looked at her the same way.
She’d loved him, but she was broken. He couldn’t get past it.
A week later, he’d ended the relationship.
She’d moved here to start over. Now Gary was going to ditch her too. As well he should.
“Gary, I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry?” he repeated. “Bullshit. I thought you were different. I thought you saw me.” He was gripping the back of the couch, his arms bulging as he levered himself as high as his damaged frame would allow.
If he had use of his legs, he would be towering over her from his six foot height and she’d be terrified.
His face was flushed, his eyes narrow, and his arms…
Wow, he really had big, strong arms, thick with muscles that looked like they could carry mountains. Or break them.
“Calm down,” she began, but that only made him more furious.
“Don’t lie to me!”
She jolted backwards, startled and afraid. He’d never acted like this before. Hell, she couldn’t remember him ever raising his voice in anger. Which meant something else was going on. Something bad.
“Gary, listen to me. You look like you’ve got a fever, and you’re not acting right.” She ran around the couch, headed for her phone. This could be like last time when he was really sick but didn’t feel it. “I’m calling 911.”
“Come back here! Marggggggh—”
What starting as her name quickly descended into an animalistic growl. The hair all over Margaret’s body shot upright, but her focus was on her phone as she fumbled to dial. Even so, she couldn’t help looking up. Gary was her best friend, and he was in serious trouble. And he…
She screamed.