Chapter 9
Feeling sad and depressed, Elle pulled the covers up to her chin and curled up in a tight ball to warm herself.
The fire in her hearth, which had been roaring a short while ago, died down and she found she was quite chilly.
Teeth-chattering-chilly. She could always get up and stoke the fire, but she didn’t wish to leave what little warmth she’d found to venture into the cold of the room.
She couldn’t relax her body enough to fall asleep and on top of that, all she could think about was Hamish.
She’d hurt him, something she never wanted to do.
No matter how necessary it was, she was sorry.
She knew exactly how he felt, because she felt the same.
Her mind wandered to the other afternoon.
To his strong arms holding her, his warm lips kissing her.
Try as she might, she couldn’t put it out of her mind.
She shivered again. She couldn’t help but think what it would be like to be here in his arms. She’d feel warm and safe and probably much more than that.
She pulled the covers up higher, trying in vain to tuck them in around her body when she noticed the fire glowing brighter.
Lifting her head, she checked to make sure the fire hadn’t jumped from the hearth and was surprised to see the flames flaring as hot and as bright as if the fire had been tended.
“Elle.” A woman’s voice came from the fire.
She sat up. Was she hearing things?
“Elle. ’Tis Edna Campbell.”
“The witch?” This is what she’d been waiting for. She was going home. “When can I leave?”
“Not even a hello?”
“I’m not sure you deserve one.” Elle regretted saying the words as soon as they’d left her lips. This was her ticket home. She didn’t want to anger her.
“I ken yer nae happy with me, lass. I thought ye needed a wake up call, as they say.”
“I don’t understand what you mean.”
“I ken yer a successful singer.”
“Was,” Elle corrected her.
“And could be again.” Edna assured her. “I’m of the opinion that ye’ve left some important things behind in yer pursuit of fame and fortune.”
“I didn’t start out wanting any of that. I just loved music.”
“I understand, but do ye love the music more than ye love yer family and yer friends?”
“No! Why would you say that?”
“When was the last time ye saw any of them?”
Elle thought about it. It had been a long time. She was even planning on missing her mother’s birthday. “Okay. I get your point.”
“Good. I wanted ye to see what being around people who love and care for each other would be like. I ken ye’ve done that.”
“I’ve done a lot of thinking since I’ve been here. I realize I’ve been missing out.”
“Ye dinnae have to give up yer family to pursue yer dreams. Time passes quickly, my dear. Once it’s gone ye cannae have it back.”
Those words stung. Her parents were getting older and she hadn’t given much thought to that fact. She’d been so focused on what she wanted and how to get it that she’d become an absentee daughter. “I plan on visiting my family when I get back.”
“Do more than visit, lass.”
Edna’s motherly advice reminded Elle of the times she’d gone to her own mother seeking guidance. Her mother had always given her the best advice, but she couldn’t remember the last time she’d sat down and had a heart-to-heart with her. “I will. I promise. Now, when can I leave?”
“What about Hamish?” Edna asked.
“I put an end to that.” She regretted having to do it, but it was what was best for both of them. She cared about him too much to give him hope they could be together when she knew how difficult that would be.
“I ken ye did, but why?”
“This isn’t the time or the place for me to fall in love.” Would there ever be a time or place, she wondered.
“Ye have feelings fer him, dinnae ye?”
“I do. I can’t stop thinking about him, but it’s not right to lead him on. I’m going to be leaving. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.” She waited for Edna to answer, but she didn’t. “Edna, are you still there? I have to go home.”
“I’m here. I’ll arrange fer ye to leave soon.”
Elle could hear the disappointment in her voice, but what did she expect. You can’t just meddle in someone’s life and expect it to work the way you want. “How soon? I have a concert tour starting soon. If I’m not back it could ruin me.”
“Don’t worry about that. I’ll be in touch.”
The fire died back down, but this time Elle decided to get up.
“Don’t worry about that? She obviously doesn’t get it,” she muttered to herself.
Wrapping herself in a shawl, she sat on the floor near the fire, where she attempted to stir the embers back into a roaring blaze.
She reached for some kindling by the side of the hearth.
Tossing it onto the remainder of the embers, she waited patiently for it to catch.
After a minute or two the flames began to curl around it, sending sparks a bit too close for comfort.
She scooted backwards away from the fire, now worried about the fire escaping the hearth and setting her room ablaze.
“I’m not cut out for this,” she said aloud.
Climbing back into bed, Elle sat up so she’d have a clear view of the fire, which she regretted stoking.
She was doomed to sit there until her perceived danger passed.
She wrapped the shawl tightly around her shoulders and pulled the bed covers up as far as she could.
For the second time that night, she wished Hamish was with her. He’d know exactly how to keep her warm.
***
“Edna spoke to me last night,” Elle shared with Ashley and Jenna.
“What did she say?” Ashley asked. She gazed up from little Emma to look at Elle. Helene had joined them and she was looking after Andrew, Ashley’s son.
“She wouldn’t tell me when I could go home,” Elle said, the disappointment of last night’s conversation washing over her.
“She’s always very secretive,” Jenna said. She held her baby, Ethan, in her arms.
“May I,” Elle asked, holding out her arms.
“Sure. If he gets fussy, all you need to do is sing to him,” Jenna smiled.
“Not a problem,” Elle replied. “He’s a handsome little guy.”
“Like his daddy,” Jenna smiled.
He gurgled and cooed, which brought a smile to Elle’s lips.
“I have no time in my life for a little one like you, no matter how adorable you are.” She thought about when her brother’s children were babies.
They were so sweet. She’d loved holding and cuddling them, but they were older now.
It bothered her that she couldn’t remember their exact ages.
She should know that. And that was exactly why love and babies would have to wait a lot longer.
She needed to get herself established again—fight her way back up to the top of the charts, then there would be time for someone else in her life.
She glanced up to see the three women staring at her. Was that pity she saw in their eyes?
“You don’t have to feel bad for me. I’m not ready for any of this.” They didn’t look convinced. “I’ll have a husband and a family when the time is right.”
“There’s never a perfect time,” Ashley said.
“She’s right. When the perfect man presents himself, you go with it,” Jenna added.
“Easy for you to say. You’ve got your husbands and your families started and you live in a time when that’s what’s expected.”
“Don’t fool yourself, Elle. We love our husbands and our families, but that doesn’t hold us back from being the women we want to be.
Jenna visits the elderly of the clan, brings them food, makes sure they’re well.
I’ve set up an informal school to teach the children of the clan.
Helene is everyone’s right hand woman. So, you see, we’re capable of doing more than one thing at a time. ”
“I’m sorry. That didn’t come out right.”
“All we’re saying is don’t close yourself off to opportunities that present themselves to you, either here or back home.”
“You’ve given me a lot to think about and I’m sorry if I offended any of you.” The baby started fussing in her arms and she looked to Jenna for help.
“Sing,” she smiled.
Elle didn’t need to be told twice. She sang an old lullaby her grandmother taught her when she was a child. Little Ethan immediately stopped fussing and gazed up at her.
“You’ve a true gift,” Helene said. All three children were entranced.
Elle smiled as she sang. Her love affair with music was definitely not over. Singing to these sweet little ones only clarified her belief that when singing what she loved, it showed. Her gift, as Helene had called it, was good for more than one kind of song.
***
After his conversation with Sara yesterday afternoon, Hamish had a new found sense of what would be necessary to win Elle’s heart.
He would be himself. He would be the man she needed and right now he thought the best way to help her was to sling his lute over his shoulder and seek her out.
Hadn’t she said she wanted to write new songs?
He would offer his help as a first step.
“Good day to ye, Elle,” he said, using as cheery a voice as he could muster.
“Hamish!”
Were his eyes deceiving him or did she seem happy to see him.
“I was …” She glanced around the courtyard. “I was taking a walk.”
“I wondered if ye still wished to write yer songs?”
“I’d love to,” she sounded hesitant. “I wasn’t sure you’d still want to.”
“I would.”
“You’d do that for me?”
“I told ye I’d help and I intend to keep me word.”
Her face lit up, a huge smile spreading across her lips. “Shall we go to our favorite writing spot?”
“Aye.” He put out his arm and Elle took it. He tried to ignore the wave of heat that ran through him at her touch. He wouldn’t let her see the effect she was having on him.