Chapter 21 #2
I’m not sure why I suddenly mean so much to this male I don’t even know.
His words should elicit fear, the desire to push him away—only…
they don’t. He saved me. A fuzzy memory tugs at my mind—the boundless safety permeating deep into my marrow as velvety shadows wound around me, nuzzled tightly in his protective embrace as he whisked me away.
And he stayed.
He stayed by my side for days, his fingers threaded in mine, a lifeline pulling me back from Lady Death’s sweet siren song. I barely know him. And suddenly, I want to. I want to know him deeply.
All common sense hemorrhages from my brain. I reach out to S?las, placing my hand along his chiseled features as I soak in the shadows storming in his eyes, calming to an ethereal moonlight blue.
He draws closer to me with a longing in his gaze as his full lips part, his hand roaming to cup my face.
My hand trails down his neck, lingering over the center of his perfectly carved chest. My heart limps frantically, my breath becoming unsteady as his heart pounds like a steady drum beneath my palm, a balm to my fraying nerves.
He’s dangerous. Not because of the violence he threatens or his unknown bloodline, but because of the control he effortlessly wields over my body.
My misshapen heart flutters like a sick bird, bruising itself against my ribs, heat ravishing my blood as a deep ache throbs between my thighs, flushing my pallid cheeks.
His thumb glides over my bottom lip, parting my mouth, molten desire pooling at my core. He leans in close, his lips feathering my ear, releasing a subtle tremble from my wonton body. My flesh becoming lightning beneath his touch.
His voice is sultry as he whispers, “I want… their names.”
I shove him away. “Prick!”
“What? You were being stubborn. This seemed like a much more fun way to tease their names from your lips. I get what I want.”
“You’re unbelievable.”
“You didn’t seem to mind my presence a second ago.”
“I was willing to look past the whole breaking-your-promise-not-to-touch-me thing, since you saved my life and all, but I’m alive now, and I’d like to reinstate that promise of yours.”
“It’s far too late now. I don’t make promises I can’t keep,” he croons.
“Fuck right off then.”
“Right here in front of you? If that’s your kink, I’m sure I can make it work.” He shrugs as if he’s actually thinking about doing it.
“You have a dirty fucking mind, ya know that?”
“Oh, you have no idea,” he growls primally, and I can’t help the heat that skitters through my blood in response to his feral tone.
He’s an emotional roller coaster. One second, he’s kind; the next, manic with violence; and then the next, he’s luring me into a lustful frenzy, just to get what he wants from me.
He feels more emotions in five minutes than I feel in an entire month.
He is utter chaos, while I prefer control.
The stormy shadows in his eyes become more erratic as his lust takes over.
He’s a walking crimson flag, stained with my own heart’s blood, untethered emotional chaos threatening to pull me in with him and spit me out, unsalvageable.
I bash my mind with the thought, hoping for it to cement, despite how my traitorous body aches for him.
I know better than to give in. He’ll be the death of us both, distracting me and dredging up emotions beyond my control.
Plus, I desperately want to get out of telling him who did this to me.
Partly because of the shame of needing his help, and partly because I was foolish enough to let it happen.
And lastly, because it’s not his vengeance to take. It’s fucking mine.
Although, admittedly, I’m in no shape to be making any plans of murder at this point.
“In your dreams, S?las,” I scoff as I try to inch myself further back on the bed, escaping his menacing presence. My body may feel weak right now, but it’s doing very little to dampen the lustful connection we share, despite my best efforts to block him out. Why is he so hard to block out?
The small amount of space I create rips at my chest like a chasm. I find myself longing for him to be closer again, like he can soothe this ache that lashes my rib cage. His warmth, the kindling to the invisible sparks that smolders between us.
As if he can read my mind, he pitches in closer to me. His strong hand finding purchase on my thigh. With the slightest movement, his knees nudge mine, parting my legs.
The rush of desire thunders through me, rumbling my pain away, threatening to melt me into a muddled mess.
I long to trace the lines of his muscles, the tattoos that weave their way up from his hands, tumbling over his rippling arms, broad shoulders, peeking over his corded neck.
His black battle leathers are unkept, worn loose from his unrelenting presence at my side, allowing me to see the shadows moving beneath the sun-kissed umber skin of his chest. The scent of spruce and amber sends my pulse skittering as the air becomes unbearably thick.
If I did cross this line, giving in to my dark desires, perhaps it will only be my body on the line.
My broken bits hidden from his disarming touch.
Perhaps I can indulge in the consuming lust, dissociating just enough to enjoy the pleasure without any chance of emotion creeping in to gut me like a fool.
I lean in, challenging his advance. I’m normally the aggressor, but something about his dominating presence makes me want him to ravage me right here.
A clawing sensation pricks and gouges at the back of my mind, scraping his earlier remark to my attention: I want them to choke on the pain that bludgeoned me while I held you dying in my arms. Warning me that he craves more than just my flesh.
My close brush with death should not have affected him so deeply; we don’t even know each other.
I’m something more to him. What, I’m not sure.
Perhaps I can use my Persuasive powers to figure out why exactly he said those words.
That is, once I’m strong enough to stand on my own two feet without swaying like a new sprout threatening to crumble in a light breeze.
Frost curls along the walls of my glacial palace. This makes his previous attempts of weaving his way around my heart all the more threatening. More terrifying. More messy.
My thoughts are interrupted by his breath on my neck. Another small shiver sneaks its way through my grasp of control.
“Say my name again, and you’ll find out exactly what my dreams entail.” His growl rumbles from deep within his broad chest, resonating into my bones, stoking the unbearable tightness in my lower belly.
The goosebumps prickle along my skin as the throbbing between my thighs begs for him to be between them. What little control I have left burns to ash. Tilting my head, baring my neck to him, I beckon his kiss while revealing my manically racing pulse.
His grip on my thigh tightens, pushing in so close, I can feel his every breath. His roaring heartbeat drums mine into synchrony. A deep, guttural groan gnaws along my exposed flesh, vibrating my very being.
To my odd displeasure, he doesn’t move any closer.
I smother the whimper threatening to escape my panting lungs. His twitching lips brush against the shell of my ear. My knees fall weak, crashing into his with an uncontrollable quiver. My weakness fueling his delight as his grasp tightens on my thighs, lazily sliding further up.
“I need you… at your full strength for all the things I will do to you,” he rumbles.
My body arches closer to his at the salacious promise of his words.
In my carnal state, a roar builds in my chest. I can handle him, and I want him this instant.
But before it can tear into him, he vanishes into shadows, reappearing on the other side of the room, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets, ankles crossed.
I watch the muscles tick along his perfect jaw.
What the fuck?
Garnet betrayal rises to my cheeks as he leaves me here with a facial expression that says nothing less than stay with me.
He clenches his jaw so hard, I’m surprised those pretty white teeth don’t shatter. I wish they would, slitting his mouth apart, shredding his throat like he’s gutted me.
I showed him where to cut, and he impaled his sword right where it hurts. Leaving me a wrecked, wanton mess of thawing frozen bits, pooling like a fool for him. If I was stronger, I’d march over to him, fuck him, and then slash him into dinner for Pip.
Fucking shadow prick.
My rage storms, shifting on searing winds of disappointment in myself.
How am I suddenly the one lacking control, acting reckless, while he’s across the room, the very essence of restraint?
I can’t even blame it on my lack of circulating blood; I’m smarter than this lustful beast he’s brought out to play.
This is exactly why I don’t get close to people. Letting emotions get involved only shows them where to cut to leave the most devastating wounds.
S?las leans against the wall, smoky shadows twisting all around him, his eyes glowing solid white. Even his pupils are lost to the blizzard.
“I need you strong enough to survive all that I want from you. Now. Tell me their names!” he roars across the room.
Celestials, like I want him anywhere near me again. Or do I? No. No. I don’t. My mind’s a fuzzy mess. Too many pesky emotions running around, not enough time to catch them all and chuck them out the window in my mind and seal it shut forever.
Something tugs at my chest, his distance suddenly tightening like a vice. My ribs creak and moan, their impending fracture looming like spears menacing to lance my limping, misshapen heart. What new Emberhell is this cursed feeling in my fucking chest?