Chapter 26 #3
“Today’s agenda entails honing your Celestial Gifts in a scenario that includes moving enemies and flying friendlies.
The goal is to practice control, not missing an enemy target as the friendlies—representing your teammates—fly around them.
Combat is layered; missing your mark means you can end up hitting your partner as they fly, moving behind or in front of your target.
That’s why understanding the physics of battle is so important, being able to predict different trajectories in space and time.
Let’s see how well you paid attention to Professor Reginald Hadron. ”
A shudder teeters through my body at the thought of controlling my Chaos Magic in a literally chaotic environment.
Professor Alaric’s attention was always all over the place, no doubt how I’d gotten away unnoticed only using my elemental magic.
But Professor Layla Emberleaf is eyeing us down like she’s part Aetherhawk.
At least this building is warded, so if I lose complete control, I’ll be surrounded in a pink bubble of magic that shields everyone from me and dampens my magic.
I swear, one session, Winx appeared to almost turn into a phoenix when she lost control.
It was beautiful and terrifying as she levitated above us, radiating flaming wings.
Her connection to fire magic is unrivaled and suits her personality perfectly.
We’ve already done many sessions on training with weapons and combat magic at close and far distances.
Today’s lesson is about taking it up a notch by adding targets we shouldn’t hit.
The design of this initial lesson is a bit easier, with our enemies being marked red and our teammates blue.
On top of that, our Chivalry will be casting from the ground, rather than in our typical aerial position.
I guess they don’t want any of us injured before we actually attempt to take flight tomorrow for the first time during the Celestial Bonding event.
I would much prefer using weapons or practicing magic that comes to me more easily than my Celestial Gift, but I know my entire Zenith is waiting for me to show off my new ability.
Thankfully, I won’t be able to kill anyone here while I explore a magic literally only meant for destruction.
After hearing Gearin’s definition of chaos, it’s a miracle I didn’t kill S?las and myself earlier today.
I still can’t believe that was less than twelve hours ago.
The new distance between us makes it feel like a lifetime has passed.
Cinder is lucky that his unique power is heat vision so he doesn’t have to create a spectacle, but he’s paired next to Fenwick. Which makes sense; her plasma and light magic make it difficult to use his vision without being blinded, so they need to be totally in sync.
I stand there, unable to do anything as I watch Juniper control the environment around her targets.
Quickly shredding enemies with spiked vines while raising the illusionary soil to form a wall, protecting her allies from injury.
She makes the horrors of battle look like an artistic dance, completely in tune with nature and waging war.
Next to her, Kissa shifts into multiple different animals, slaughtering her victims without a single scratch on the blue dummies that twist and turn around her every move.
I try to focus on just one target. I picture my arm becoming a sword of pure energy again… but nothing happens. I grow frustrated, thinking of how S?las confirmed last night that I have to let go of control and feel the chaos of emotion and my environment to use my magic.
I know if I switch back on my emotions, everything that happened last night will come avalanching back.
It’s not that I can’t feel emotions at all; they’re just severely blunted, making them easier to control.
Raw emotions are just too overwhelming. Yet I know I need to get it over with to access my magic.
I retreat to the golden domed shields of my mind. I swallow at the cracked mosaic window, with far too many emotions lurking behind it. Definitely not opening that nightmare.
Maybe I can slowly organize my emotions, controlling which one and how much I feel? I imagine piercing a tiny needle through my shield. A small ribbon slowly trickles in through the hole, the color of amaranth.
I reach out to it, letting it curl between my fingers, heating my skin. It’s my feelings of lust. I envision a small upside-down, heart-shaped window with a golden latch, letting me close away the emotion.
I prick another place in the wall of golden light.
A honey-colored ribbon twists around my hand; it’s warmth and happiness.
Memories flash into sight: carefree days with Sully exploring the Mysticwoods, hearing my Zenith laughing together at lunch and racing through branches with Kissa.
Then the sound of S?las’ laugh before dawn echoes through me, sneaking through the ice, tightening my chest as flutters fill my stomach.
I let go of the honey ribbon, envisioning a circular window, yellow like sunshine around it, closing its latch.
The next slash brings watery, dark blue ribbons cascading in.
I bend down, letting my fingers graze over the puddle that forms. Sorrow and misery ripple through me.
The loss of the parents I never knew. The shame of failing to heal Sully.
I’m overcome with the regret of not being able to even try to give S?las what he wants from me.
I slam shut the teardrop window that forms over the hole.
Bright red ribbons whip out of the next rift I open.
Anger courses through me as I remember what Chet and his groupies did to me that night.
Followed by the unrelenting torture of my foster father’s blade carving into my skin.
Then the hideous remarks fill my mind, the voices of the townsfolk of my village when they caught a glimpse of my golden markings.
I envision a window shaped like a flame. I don’t close this one.
Out of nowhere, a large starburst-shaped window appears next to me.
I can see the outside world around me through it.
I open it wide. Innumerable energies channel through me, becoming acutely aware of every molecule around me.
I focus on the structured red shape in front of me, its plea to be broken free of its bonds.
The physical world’s craving for disorder.
I grasp the red ribbon of fury, letting it boil my blood.
I can hear the screeching of broken, frozen bones, the pain of my burning, frostbitten toes. I let my anger radiate out of me, hitting the first red target in front of me, splintering it apart, then the next one, and the next, and the next.
I become lost in my rage until crash, my knees smashing the ground. In my mind, I run to the flaming window, locking it shut. Next, staggering to the starburst window, falling against its panels as I seal its center clasp.
I peel my eyes open, and the room is utterly silent.
There are no targets left.
Just a slurry of splintered particles hovering in the air. I breathe, sweeping numbness over me like an arctic breeze. The broken fragments clattering to the ground.
Slowly, I look around, clenching my jaw to keep it from gaping.
I not only decimated my own targets, but everyone else’s as well.
This is well beyond what I believed I could do.
The smile falls from my face before it even begins to form—wind kicking out of me.
I destroyed literally every target in the structure.
The blue ones, too. I released pure chaos, leaving nothing in its wake.
I utterly failed the point of the exercise. Control.
I’m a fucking liability.
My eyes drift to see a menagerie of appalled and gawping faces. Even the stern face of our Assistant Professor is painted with wide eyes.
Kissa rushes over to me. I’m still on my knees, shame casting my gaze down, unable to take in the horror of the aftermath of what my magic reaps.
I tremble as images of a true battlefield littered with blasted parts of bodies flash through my mind, shredded monsters alongside the members of my Zenith Wing.
The image of their eyes, cold and grey, sears into the backs of my eyelids.
Kissa crouches down next to me, wrapping her furry mauve arm around my shoulder.
“I guess there’s a reason it’s called Chaos Magic.” She pauses, grasping for her next words. “But if there’s anyone who can control it, it’s you, Savaé Entropaé.” She squeezes my shoulder tighter and commands, “Now get up. I’ve never seen you let anything defeat you. You’ll master this, too.”
The rest of my Zenith surrounds me. All placing a hand on me, lending me their strength to stand.
“We will figure this out together! And when we do, we’ll be unstoppable!” Fenwick beams with a jump. I’m not quite sure how such a petite structure can contain all her vibrant energy. I give her as much of a smile as I can summon.
The hairs on the back of my neck sway. I turn my head to see Seraphina and S?las joining the circle around me. He has his classic smug curve to the side of his full lips, but it does little to mask the melancholy in his eyes when they meet mine. At least he’s able to look at me again.
They all come in to give me a group hug; their united compassion is overwhelming, yet exactly what I need. They’re willing to support me in spite of all the danger I reap. Claiming me without falter.
They are my new home, my new safety. Kivi’s words resonate in my heart.
We are one, or none at all.