Chapter 32
We drunkenly stumble back to her room. I’m already untying her dress as we make it through the door. I slip it off as I spin her around, wrapping my arms around her waist.
She kisses me like her lips are made of fire and I’m her kindling, hooking her legs round my hips.
I playfully sling her on the bed. With the snap of my fingers, her wrists are bound to the wall in my white flames.
Her eyes flare a deep shade of violet, hazy with lust as they tell me yes.
I stand up, taking in the sight of her brazen body, basking without shame. There’s something so intoxicating about a confident female who knows exactly what she wants.
I trail soft kisses along the outline of her swollen lips, following the angle of her jaw before slipping down her neck.
“I want to savor each kiss until your sweet fury drips down my face and I am drenched in your power,” I rasp as her back arches, grinding her body into mine.
I dust kisses across her collarbones, then down her chest to the crested nipples of her petite breasts. My hands take the place of my mouth, pinching her with the perfect mix of pleasure and pain.
Her white skin, fresh-fallen snow, melting beneath every kiss.
My lips trace down the carved outlines of her feminine stomach.
I pry a whimper from her throat as my tongue lazily licks up the lips between her quivering legs.
Her body begs for my mouth to deepen with each torturous pass of restraint.
“Tear me to pieces,” she growls, and I obey her plea.
My tongue slips inside her, syncing to her rhythm before slipping in a finger and teasing her clit with my tongue. Her moan fills the air as I savor, devour, and nibble. I drink her in, consuming her pleasure as her body dances beneath my mouth, pleading for more.
I sink another finger inside, curving them in just the right way that makes her delicious cunt purr, tightening around my embrace. Her whimpers are a road map to her desire, her flames guiding me, letting me fuck her exactly as she craves. Her lust is a fiery blaze, just like her.
She burns in ecstasy until she is at her wick’s end, melting in front of me like a candle.
I melt along with her, moaning into the pure pleasure of controlled bliss.
I stay inside her, tracing her body with gentle kisses until the last spasming wave of high dwindles from her body, her legs shaking with gratification.
My drenched fingers twist, freeing her wrists from my icy-white fire restraints. I help guide her stiff limbs to her sides, kissing them as I go.
We lie together, breathy as we both enjoy the last waves of oxytocin and dopamine coursing through our nerves.
I’ve always found pleasure in giving it to others.
The idea of letting someone else pleasure me, though?
That’s too vulnerable. Too intimate. A shiver trails down my spine as intrusive thoughts flash through my lust-hazy mind.
My imagination running wild with what exactly S?las worshiping me might entail.
Winx’s breath steadies, slowing down as she drifts off into slumber, which allows me to quietly slink out of her room.
Hot water pelts down from the ceiling faucet, scalding my flesh, as if it can burn me clean of my toxic choices. While Winx was a delightful distraction, getting lost between her legs only provided a fleeting break from the fuckery needling beneath my skin.
Fear. Loneliness. Failure. Longing. They all sledge together, like boulders bludgeoning me from the inside out.
But the real danger is that dash of flickering of hope.
Weaving its way into my sinew with its golden light.
Threatening to cleave flesh from bone as it flays my armor, leaving me bare.
Letting S?las know just how to crumple my glacial palace.
Slicing my heart upon the broken shards.
Bloody. Sharp. Untouchable. A ruin too fractured to cradle.
His declarations unraveling in his hands, shredded on my mosaic mess, leaving nothing more than hollow vows—laced in the prettiest words.
Maybe I’d risk the incineration of breathing that burning ember of hope to life if it was just my fate at stake. However, when he realizes I am inevitably too lancing to love, the bitter ripples will taint our every dynamic, risking the entire Wing with ruin.
I turn the water frigid, reminding myself that the cold is my only safety. Only ice can freeze around my sharp edges and not weep crimson.
My worries wash down the drain as I finish cleaning up and head down the hall to my own room. I’m glad when I look down and realize my bracelet is gone. Pip must have portaled off to our room. Smart little dragon.
“At least one of you is intelligent,” Calais snarls.
I roll my eyes. “I never claimed I was.” She huffs in response.
I’m almost back to my dorm when the hairs on my neck sway. Before I can spin around, my back is pinned to the wall. My head caged between S?las’ arms.
He’s a cyclone of shadows, violently whirling around me, yet somehow not touching me. I can’t even make out his face in the storm.
“You reek of her,” he growls. “Tell me, did you think of me when you were drowning in her pleasure?”
“Males.” I huff.
His shadows seem to recoil from the snark in my remark. His stormy, ice-blue eyes peeking out, but the shadows still rage within them. He keeps one arm braced by my head as he lifts the other to trace the border of my jaw. My heart sputters, pleading to lean into his touch.
“You are not easy to read, my dear. I long for the day the pages of your book become worn by my fingertips, once I’ve read all your lines a thousand times and discover all that’s hidden in between.”
The words dance across my heart, spooling strings of golden light. That tugging sensation nips at my ribs, drawing me in with an insensible longing to be closer to him. His aura presses in on mine, stealing the air from my lungs. Suffocating all logical thought.
Celestials, how I crave to know what his lips taste like. My recent release only barely lends me enough control as he dips close. Lips hovering just above mine. I know if I let him linger longer, Winx won’t be the only dangerous indulgence of my night.
Fists clenched, I look away, gaze dropping to the floor as I grit out, “In your dreams, S?las. Even if I wanted to try, it risks too much.” I will the shadows to veil the lie etched in my eyes—pleading they don’t betray me to the whispers he commands.
His knuckle grazes my chin, tipping my obsidian-and-gold irises to meet his lakes of ice.
“If only you knew my dreams, Luxsula.”
That word rolls off his smoky lips, tumbling across my skin as my body quivers.
How can a word I don’t even fucking understand affect me so?
I knew he was trouble from the moment our eyes first met.
I wanted to stay away. But each time he ensnares me in his gravity, I sink closer.
Each time becoming harder and harder to untangle myself from him.
Like an invisible string pulling me back into his orbit.
Perhaps it’s just the chaotic nature of our magic drawing us together.
Fuck. The thought of our magic unleashed, our bodies colliding bare, is enough to shred the last reins of my restraint.
“Careful now,” he whispers darkly against my ear, “with that dirty mind and those wicked lips.” His tone ignites the feral beast in me, thirsting to pin him to the wall with far less control than he’s exerting.
I lash bitter words to temper the beast, hoping to slash open some distance between him and my fraying resolve. “I’m sure Tyranny would appreciate you warming her bed right now.”
S?las tsks, voice tilting sharp as a blade. “You know exactly whose bed I would be making an altar of right now. But I won’t settle for sloppy seconds or mere bits and pieces of you.”
“Exactly why I needed a distraction tonight, because you and I… can’t happen. Despite whatever this is between us.”
“You sure know how to pick a dangerous distraction,” he provokes.
“Oh, and you’re not? What if I did try, S?las?
What if I did attempt to give you more of me than I’ve ever given anyone else?
What if you’re the one who finds the key to my heart?
And when you open it, all you find is a black sticky mess.
Don’t waste your time falling in love with this black tar heart of mine.
Don’t you see? My darkness is a death trap; not even your shadows can escape. ”
“Don’t say that.” His low growl fractures, bleeding out with a pleading sorrow.
Hands twitch at his sides, trembling with the urge to reach for me.
His shadows falter, wisping into a mourning haze.
One knuckle brushes the air near me, only to fall short.
His whole body coils with restraint—pleading without words, begging not to lose all he aches to hold.
I sidestep out of his consuming aura, fighting the cracks forming along my glacial walls under the weight of his agony.
“You would go through all that, and all we would do is put the entire Zenith at jeopardy in the aftermath. I am too broken to love or be loved. Only a fool would request… all of this.” My hand sweeps down, motioning to all of me.
“You can’t know that, Savaé.” My name on his lips is like sweet honey, almost slipping up my train of thought.
“You’re right. We can’t know that, because it will never happen.” The words drip from my mouth like venom. But my anger is not for him—it’s for me.
“Never say never, Luxsula.” His vow lands heavy on my limping heart as a plume of shadows unfurls. The space between us collapses—he’s gone. Leaving me alone in the dark.
Good riddance. He should go. Celestials, why was he even here in the first place?
My stupid chest hurts in his absence. The taste of salt slicks my lips.
I didn’t even realize I’m crying. Why the fuck am I always crying around him?
I could blame it on how long this fucking day has been, but in truth, he always manages to make me more vulnerable than I’d ever care to admit.
I bludgeon my door open, but my rage and torment plummet to a simmer as I see Pip waking up with sleepy eyes on my pillows.
His face looks stupidly cute when he’s all sleepy.
He rolls over, trying to stir his energy.
Then he’s quickly up and prancing around my feet, almost tripping me with his little dance. I snatch him up, squeezing him tight.
“Glad you’re okay, buddy,” I say as he nuzzles into my face. I’m not sure how such a sweet creature can love a toxic monster like me.
My weapons, armor, and cloak are indeed on my bed, just as S?las promised. Why did he have to be so annoyingly perfect sometimes?
I clear the weapons off and fall into the comfort of my down feather mattress as the chaos of today crumples into the bed. The humming purr of Pip on my chest lulls me into a sleep where no worries can find me.