Chapter 38
“Rise and shine, starlight,” a chipper, smoky voice purrs in my ear.
“What are you doing here this early in the morning?” I mumble sleepily.
“We’re heading to the Warded Hollow before anyone wakes to work on training your Chaos Magic.
Calais said she’s going to roast me over the fire if I don’t make sure you have better control prior to aerial combat maneuvers.
Something about wanting to keep all four of her wings intact while you’re casting on her back. ”
I groan, pulling the blanket over my head, with no desire to leave the warmth of my new comfy bed. For someone who was so broody and distant last night, he sure is a Celestials be dimmed sunbeam this morning.
“Well, aren’t you a grumpy delight in the morning? I can’t wait until I’m waking up next to you.”
“Over my dead body,” I grumble from under the sheets.
“That can be arranged.”
“I’d like to see you try. I know I like to wake up early, but you’re being obscene.” I huff, peeking over the blanket at his perfect raven hair blowing in the breeze.
“Wouldn’t you like to know all the ways I could make you die beneath my touch?” His voice growls magically along the cusp of my ear.
“It's too early for your flirtatious shenanigans.”
He snaps his fingers; a cup of kahvi appears out of a whirl of shadows next to my bed. The smell raises me from the sheets.
My eyes go wide. He’s fucking changing in front of me. I could just about die.
His muscles flex as he takes off his black suit, exchanging it for the vest of his fighting leathers. His body is carved for the heavens, and I’m losing the battle of pulling my gaze from the deep V curving below his slacks.
As he loosens his belt, my skin swelters into molten iron. Sweat beads on my skin, silk sheets clinging to the wetness. I swallow. His pants slip down the sculpted muscles of his perfect ass and thighs. My body goes weak, tumbling the kahvi from my cup.
“Shit,” I hiss at the scalding liquid on my leg.
Before I can even blink my eyes, the cup’s back on my nightstand, and the fabric is clean.
S?las kneels beside me on the bed, slowly lifting the sheet, exposing the burn on my leg.
Just below the glowing silver star scar from Pip’s fire.
His eyes lock with mine, pinning me under his blue moon gaze as he lowers his head, never breaking our stare.
His lips meet the sensitive, freshly burnt skin.
I almost die, swallowed whole from molten ecstasy searing through my blood with his kiss upon my leg.
I crash back into the pillows with a moan, waves of bliss crashing through me.
With one fucking kiss on my cursed fucking leg.
Fuck. I really don’t want to know all the ways I can die under his touch. Or do I?
“I can definitely feel you’re awake now,” he purrs across my mind.
I don’t think I can survive the embarrassment of orgasming from a kiss on my leg, but I know his perfect smug ass will never let me live it down. So, I leap out of bed and wobble to the shower on gelatin legs.
There’s no door to the bathroom in the open floor plan.
He’ll have a full view of my body from the bedroom, but I don’t care.
I need a cold shower. Now, if I’m going to stand a chance being near him after what just happened.
I don’t fail to catch him watching me walk in my white lacy undergarments that came with the room, leaving little to the imagination.
“Now who’s not playing fair?”
“You can watch if you like,” I purr right back, giving him a taste of his own medicine as I strip slowly. I have half a mind to touch myself in the shower just to drive him mad, but I fear I’ll be the one losing control in the aftermath of that stunt.
Cold shower. Cold thoughts. Cold shower. Mind over matter, Savaé, I roar at myself.
“You would have driven me absolutely mad. Even my control has its limits.” His feral growl causes my legs to quiver.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Cold shower. Cold thoughts, I repeat to myself. I have a feeling I’m going to be taking a lot of cold showers from now on.
I jump out of the shower, teeth chattering, relieved to see S?las staring over the northern glass balcony.
His distraction frees me to dress without the weight of his gaze on me.
I selfishly use my magic to dry my hair.
It’s the one thing I’m never patient enough to wait for.
Fully dressed in my white aerial leathers and armed to the teeth, I’m ready to go.
I call Pip. “Let’s go, little one.” I’ll never cease to be amazed at his magic as he turns into my bracer.
“He truly is a marvel. Just like you.” His voice is suddenly so close, I startle.
“You know, there’s such a thing as being too flirtatious?”
“You wound me.” He covers his heart with his tattooed hand, walking backwards to the door, opening it with a slight bow.
“You’re incorrigible.” I huff, rolling my eyes at him.
We make it to the Warded Hollow in one piece.
I swear if he was walking in front of me, I would have pushed him down the stairs for his comment about how he loved his view, no doubt speaking about my ass.
The confident shadow prick. At least my blood is burning in a different way, which I hope makes it easier to cast.
He sets up the Hollow similar to the day I massacred every target: blue and red targets moving, mimicking typical battle maneuvers we’re trained for and know the enemy uses.
“Your problem is that you bottle up all your emotions instead of feeling them as they come. You think being numb makes you strong, but it makes you weak.” He arches a challenging brow as I huff and cross my arms.
“You’re at the mercy of your emotions when they come flooding out after being locked up tight.
You think you’re in control, but it’s an illusion you’ve weaved for yourself.
A wise person feels their emotions, listens to what they are signaling to them, and then uses logic to determine how to act based on those emotions. ”
“When I tried to feel an emotion last time, it was a murder spree in here.”
“Tell me what happened in your mind.”
“I grabbed on to where I keep anger and tried to use it to cast.”
“And all that pent-up anger came crashing out in a tidal wave of fury.”
“I just opened the window in my mind—a crack.”
“But you can’t keep something locked away and not expect it to bite you when you finally release it from its cage.”
I can’t argue with that analogy. I would bite the hand off someone who caged me.
“I want you to focus on keeping your walls up but not numbing yourself. When you feel an emotion, validate the emotion. Check the facts. Does this emotion make sense? Now what should I do with this knowledge? How does this inform my next behavior?”
He crosses his arms and nods his head to start, ignoring the petulant annoyance plastered on my face at the ridiculousness of his lesson.
Growing bored of my antics, he cleaves the silence.
“So very stubborn. Fine. I’ll go first.” He shakes his head, walking towards the targets.
“I’m feeling happy, enjoying how cute your crumpled face looks when you’re annoyed at me.
How the gold in your eyes glimmers brightly in defiance,” he muses while black daggers of shadow smoke twirl above his fingers as they move.
He smirks, and the blades dart to the red targets, hitting every single one of them right between the eyes.
“Show off.”
“I felt the emotion. I validated the feeling. I checked the facts, knowing that the feeling informed me of how you made me feel in this moment, and let the happiness flow over me at the thought of these targets daring to take this moment away from me… Take you away from me.”
“No one is taking me away from you. I am not yours to take.”
“True, but the happiness you give me is mine. On the battlefield, that can be taken away. Rather than stuffing that fear away, I let the fear guide me to my targets, conquering and savoring the continued happiness of your escalating irritation.”
“Well, it must be nice to always be so in control of your magic.”
“I have not always been in control of my magic.” His tone is pure ice, freezing my bones. Violent shadows twirl like smoke off his shoulders, almost forming wings of death. He’s never spoken to me like that, raising my hackles instinctively.
He brushes his hand slowly through his raven hair, as if trying to settle himself from the moment.
“The ease with which I wield my magic came at great costs and many years of practice. You have come into your Celestial Gift late, and you need to catch up. You’re always talking about the risk to the Zenith.
Right now, you are more of a threat than anything between us.
” His voice is rough. I can tell he’s still reeling from the nerve I struck.
I don’t deny the truth to his blunt words; I guess that makes me quite the hypocrite. The thought makes me shift my weight as I take a deep breath and settle myself.
I mow over his words in my head. Maybe if I thin my shield, so it’s still present, maintaining my focus in battle, instead of completely numbing the emotions? Perhaps I can let them bounce along my shield while keeping the Wuvon out of my mind. It’s worth a shot.
“I am going to tell you something, and I want you to tell me how it makes you feel.”
“Fine.” I close my eyes, preparing for the worst.
“You are beautiful.”
I crack one eye open, seeing the coy twist of his lips at one side that I know is there before I even catch a glimpse. My eyelid flutters shut again. I focus on how his words make me feel.
Anger bounces along my shield—but it’s not really anger. On the next bounce, I can see it’s fear, masquerading as anger.
I’m not afraid of his words; that would be silly. I’m afraid to acknowledge what those words actually make me feel. I validate the fear and let myself open up to what his words actually stir in me. Even if I’m afraid to be as beautiful as he makes me feel.
To my groaning surprise, the next emotion is happiness. I let out an exasperated sigh. Instead of throwing it out my mosaic window… I bask in the warm delight of hearing those smoky words from his lips. How it makes my heart flutter like a butterfly on a gentle spring breeze.
Then I think about those red targets trying to take away this little slice of happiness I desire to keep.
Instead of rage consuming me, I let the canary ribbon flutter between my fingers.
With each movement, I imagine the red target shattering all around in the splendor of witnessing my secret moment of joy.
Then, the starry stained-glass window opens.
Velvet ribbons swirl all around me. I open my eyes to find myself twirling S?las’ shirt between my fingers.
I’ve pulled him close, shrouded in his Shadowveil.
My eyes meet his, and for a moment, the world stands still, my breath freezing beneath the arctic storm in his eyes.
The shadows fall, revealing the wooden targets shattered into a million pieces.
My eyes jump around to see only the red targets are gone. Unfortunately, the splinters of the explosion also hit the blue targets.
“Look how much more control you have, Luxsula. A little extra bloody, but at least most of the wounds to the blue targets are healable, unlike last time.” He winks.
I let go of his shirt, shoving him with a genuine smile pinning up my lips.
He resets the course. “Again.”
“No flirtatious remark to inspire me?” I snicker, placing the back of my hand to his forehead, feigning to feel for temperature as if he’s suddenly struck with illness.
“Smartass,” he purrs. His fingers grasp my chin, shaking my head confidently. “You will practice again until your control is as wicked as that mouth of yours.”
I can’t help but smile at him. The beautiful, full smile he doesn’t hide in return lights up even the darkest parts of my soul.
I let the feelings of the moment rush over me.
The mirth between us, hope in mastering my power, my curious nature wanting to know the male that stands by my side, contentment in trusting him.
The canary-yellow energy pulses through my veins, frolicking around the moving targets, slipping through the invisible hearts of my enemies, stealing their kinetic and thermal energy as it feeds the life force within me until I can no longer feel the color red in my periphery.
Slowly, my eyelids peep open. Bright light blisters my sight as my vision adjusts. The target parts of wood are mere piles of dust, while the metal parts are cold, molten ore.
The light.
The light of glimmering pastel rainbows is emanating… from me.
Glowing vibrantly through every one of my golden markings.
I turn my hands around. Each star is humming with sparkling, prismatic light rays.
As realization sets in that I’m fucking glowing, I lurch back, as if I can jump out of my own skin. The glow vanishes, like blowing out a candle.
The only magic wielders who can glow are Radiants. Like Fenwick. But Radiant magic doesn’t do that to targets. And it’s golden, not white with pastel rainbows.
“You never cease to amaze me, Luxsula.” His genuine smile melts into my soul.
His eyes. His eyes are the clearest I’ve ever seen them, like pure moonlight.
They drift down to mine, looking at me like he has always known me, like he knows exactly who I’m supposed to be, exactly who I will become, from a million lifetimes of knowing me.
It’s my body that closes the gap between us now. My mind searching his crystal eyes for something my heart has already been screaming.
I lean up on my tiptoes, placing my hands on either side of his raven hair. Peering through his soul, praying for something to stop me.
Something to hold me from falling off the edge into madness with him. His heart pounds in his chest, mirroring the beat of mine. And for a second, I swear our heartbeats synchronize.
A mess of golden light strings weaves their way through my ribs, shattering the thorny glacial palace around my heart, wrapping around it with warm light.
Utterly melting my frozen, sharp, messy bits that protect me, protect my mosaic heart.
He has a way of melting everything around us into nothing. It’s just me and him in an endless abyss, where nothing seems to matter anymore. It’s just us and a force that’s pulling us together through space and time.
A force I’m failing to find reasons to continue to deny. As if, suddenly, I can make sense of the pleas of my heart, a little voice inside spills through my veins.
He’s mine.