Chapter 50 #3
She tucks her candy-red hair behind her fin-shaped ear.
“I don’t even know why you are all worried.
I can read their Auras. She’s going to accept the bond.
You could have just asked me and spared us this riveting debate.
I’m just glad a Fated mate bond is the reason your auras are intertwined.
The other causes are far less… appealing. ”
“Well, that’s not ominous at all,” I murmur under my breath, trying to resist the prickling annoyance regarding her mortaring my decision like I’m just another brick in a wall. Her eyes soften as she gleams the shift in my Aura, lazily standing up and sauntering my way.
Orion taps me on the tip of my nose twice as she elaborates.
“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it.
Just enjoy the intoxicating energy of falling in love that’s positively vibrant within your Aura.
You can’t fool an Aura. The signals come from both your mind and your heart, regardless of their separation from your soul.
Your Aura is the least chaotic I’ve ever seen.
It’s not uncommon for the mind to play catch-up to what the heart already knows, given its closer connection to the soul. ”
Orion’s final insights are oddly reassuring. Maybe I’m not as bad at this as I thought I would be.
“Once you set your mind on something, it seems there’s nothing you cannot do. Would it be rude of me to kick them out? I’m done sharing you tonight.” S?las’ purr coils around my mind.
“Can you even be trusted with me tonight? Your desire feels as if I starved you for attention.” I smirk.
“I guess we will find out, won't we?”
“Please, you two. Wait until we’re out of the room, for Celestial’s sake.” Kissa sighs as I look up to see Eko already leaping off the balcony to glide to his room.
“See? I told you all.” Orion winks, walking with Cinder to the door.
“I need a fucking drink; who’s coming with me? Since I won’t be prying S?las away from this one any time soon,” Seraph groans.
“I’m in. Let’s grab Rizz on our way. Ohhh, Flinnnt, will you be joining us?” Vex jeers.
Flint gives me a friendly pat on the shoulder.
“I’m really happy for you! The monsters in your head are the sca-scariest to fight, but you’re brave.
Use that st-stuborness to beat them instead of letting them wield it against you.
” He smiles and tips his head before Vex is dragging him out the door.
“Have fun with Rizz,” I call out to him before he’s whisked out of sight. The mirth crinkling his marble face summons my heart to beat a little fuller; he deserves all the happiness.
Juniper hands me Pip, who’s adorned with a handmade flower crown she started crafting after he ate her first gift.
“I’d be happy to dragon-sit this chubby little one any time.” She smiles brightly, before linking arms with Fenwick.
“Eek! I’m so excited for you two, no matter what you decide. I must say, you’re positively beaming. Are you sure you’re not a Radiant, too?” Fenwick giggles.
“Mayybeee.” I scrunch my nose with a coy smile. Fenwick does a little clap with excitement, radiating yellow light from her palm as she waves goodbye.
Her childlike joy is infectious, a ray of pure sunlight you can’t help but bask in. I hope she always finds a way to see the light and nothing ever steals it from her.
I wonder if I’ve ever experienced the pure, uninhibited joy of being a child.
I was already three years old when I was placed in the custody of my foster parents.
Yet only dark memories lurk my mind from that time.
Bone-shattering cold. Endless hunger and thirst. Stumbling through shadows to avoid the monstrous male who always found new sick and twisted ways to torture me.
Always searching for the crack that would finally break me.
S?las’ rage pours through the bond, a wildfire scorching me from my memories.
Before I can even find him, he’s wrapped around me.
His shadows are always so calm, like billowing smoke from a blown-out candle.
Now they are lashing whips. Twisting. Congealing.
Clotting into viscous, sticky pitch. The air thickens with an unsettling energy, sending my light magic shuttering beneath my skin.
Yet my darkness writhes with my Chaos Magic, gnawing on my ribs, nicking the walls of my veins, craving to mince the pitch to ribbons.
I tug his arms around me, cinching them even tighter.
I’m not going to let fear ruin one more thing for me. “I killed him. He can’t physically hurt me anymore.”
“But he still harms your mind. That monster shattered your soul, keeping all of you from me.” S?las' voice slips into an eerily dark undertone, as if he’s speaking to his own demons as well.
The sick tar that melts off his shadows drips into a puddle, lumping together at his feet.
Erratic ripples pulse and throb, melding into a moving, distorted shape.
The flapping of wings pierces the silent night sky. Scáil and Calais dipping down from the blotted clouds overhead. I don’t have time to ponder their presence, my hand lifting to sweep raven locks out of stormy black eyes with moonlight irises.
“I refuse to give him that power over me. He doesn’t deserve it, and you will not give him that power over you.
If anyone shattered my soul, it was me. So I could leave my body and free myself from his clutches.
So I could survive as a child in a world that sought to break me.
Calais and you are right. I am stronger than I realize.
If I can fight this darkness inside of me, so can you.
We’ll do it together,” I command, but his pitch keeps dragging him further away.
He’s right in front of me, but there is a chasm of indescribable distance between us, cleaving our world in two. Severing pain lashes through my soul; ache cracks through my ribs as I gasp for air.
No.
I will not let anyone make this choice he has gifted to me. I will not let anything take away my dream of what this can be.
Liquid starlight pools in my palms. I grit my teeth, resisting its pleas to retreat.
I let out just a trickle of my darkness, spooling around my magic, luring it out with its ravenous thirst for destruction.
I think of my cheeks, blissfully sore from all the smiles he’s painted across my lips.
My heart spills out mirth and light as I recall the night sky set ablaze in a celestial display, beaming from my very soul.
I’ll give it all to him. Every last ray, shining bright enough to bring him back to me.
I coax my darkness to rake every happy memory from outside my broken mosaic window.
His smiles, like getting drunk on sunshine.
When my glittering pools of obsidian and gold locked with his, ice-blue eyes piercing my glacial palace, almost impossible to drag our gaze apart despite the Bone-Thresher lunging for him.
The way my gold markings glitter and gleam around him, as if they are actually a beautiful gift.
The gift of my mother’s love beaming, letting me know I finally found my home.
Every moment we’ve shared, despite my resistance, has slowly brought us closer and closer together. My mind finally willing to let my heart lead, finally believing I can love and be loved.
The vow of his kiss still hums on my lips, and I know there’s nothing we can’t conquer together.
Twinkling rays of pastel rainbow light radiate, blinding brightness piercing the night as I release the shackles caging my Chaos Magic. Energy rips out of me, bowing my spine as it prowls. Hunts. Seeking out every molecule of dark matter and siccing my light upon it.
An eerie screech cleaves the air as the pitch seethes into nothingness. My trembling hands, still cast in a faint glow, lift to his face as I bare my most treasured secret.
“You have always been there for me, protecting me in your shadowy embrace. When I was young, the shadows were my safe escape, my home, my only solace. You found me long before we ever met. Just as you always will, until the end of time.” My whispered words an ancient spell, uncleaving the chasm, the world falling back in place.
Blackness melts from his eyes, revealing a rare glimpse of the traces of crimson. Once, I thought maybe they were a clue about his unknown bloodline, but now I know they’re just the scars of his bleeding heart. Overflowing with so much love to give.
I place my hand on his heart.
“My heart accepted the bond the second I let my mental guard down with you because she recognized your shadowy embrace and wouldn’t let you get away from me.” The words pour like mountain snowmelt in spring, revealing his ice-blue eyes, luminescent and forever reminding me of moonlight.
“I’m so sorry. Sometimes the voice that calls to me gets so loud, I’m lost to it. I didn’t want you to have to see me like this. I should go.” His head bows, utter defeat marring his features. He takes a step back as shadows begin to envelop him.
I pull him back into me.
“Stay. Let me learn to love you. I never expected love to be easy. If you try to protect me from your darkness, how can I ever give you all of me if you can’t do the same?”
He smirks, gliding his thumb across my golden-flecked cheek.
“When did you become so wise, my Luxsula? You clearly know more of love than you let on.”
“When motivated, I’m a fast learner. I’m sure the fact that I have a hopeless romantic as a teacher helps. Rumor is, he’s a shameless flirt, but his heart only beats for one.” I wink.
To that, S?las lets out a deep, genuine laugh, filling my soul and rattling my bones with joy.
I hear Kissa let out her third exasperated sigh of the night. I’d forgotten not everyone has left yet.
“I’m starting to think you enjoy making a Celestials be dimmed fucking scene.” Kissa rolls her chartreuse eyes, but it doesn’t hide the slight smirk clawing at her lips. My heart flares, realizing she’s actually happy for the both of us for once.