Chapter 11
The next few days I did nothing but roll around in the sheets with Gaelin. The laundry piled up, the room was a disaster, and none of my other chores were being done, but I didn’t care. I had found a small slice of heaven in this nightmare I had descended into, and I was going to hold onto that lifeline with every ounce of strength I had left.
At night when we had exhausted ourselves, I would drift into a relaxed state. Even though I lay next to the most perfect male I had ever seen, when I closed my eyes, I saw the images of the strange dark figure. His black marking along the side of his left shoulder and arm. The symbols I knew nothing about. His vibrant smile beneath his full lush lips. His strong jaw and shapely chin. I willed myself to stop seeing the stranger, but my brain never got the message.
After a week of being laid up in bed, we finally emerged from our sanctuary. I immediately tended the laundry since neither of us had much to wear that was clean. My body ached and throbbed from the extra activity of the past few days, but I smiled at each discomfort, knowing the reward was well worth the aftermath.
Levos eventually found me as he always did. He demanded details, but I kept the private parts to myself. It was expected of me to attend dinner each night during the weeks after, for whatever reason I still didn’t understand. I stood along the walls of the hall with the other humans, heads down and hands folded in front of us. I could feel Gaelin’s eyes on me along with that of his betrothed. I didn’t dare look up, remembering her threat.
The more time I spent getting to know Gaelin, I found myself growing jealous of his impending nuptials. He seemed to truly care for me, and against my own convictions I had fallen for him. I didn’t know how to approach the topic or what his reaction would be, but I had to know the answers to my questions, even if they would destroy my heart. Levos encouraged me to speak freely with him. He said that Gaelin had never given me any reason not to trust him and he was right.
We had been physically together for three weeks. My jealousy and uncertainties were eating away at me so I decided I would risk the answers and just ask. After dinner one evening, I got back to the room to find Gaelin already waiting for me, lounging lazily on the bed, half undressed. Gods was he a sight. I smiled, closing the door gently. He beamed up at me and slid a small box across the bed.
“For me?” I asked nervously.
“I remembered you saying something about liking presents.”
“This would be the second present I have ever received so the verdict is still out.” I walked over to the bed and sat on the edge, peering down at the small box. “You didn’t have to get me anything. Really.”
“I wanted to. I saw it and thought of you.”
I smiled widely, happy to know he thought of me when we were apart. I picked up the small box and took the top off. Inside was a beautiful silver necklace. The pendant was in the shape of a star and had nine points. Each point had a small diamond at the tip. In the center was a beautiful green gem. It was the most exquisite thing I had ever laid eyes on.
“Gaelin—”
“A star because you love watching them at night when you think I am asleep. The green gem is for your eyes. My favorite part of you.” He softly drew the back of his hand down my face.
“It is so beautiful; I don’t know what to say. Thank you isn’t enough.”
“It is, and you’re welcome.” He sat up, taking the necklace from the box. He gently moved my hair to the side and slid the cold pendant around my neck, latching it in the back. My heart swelled, but I pushed the feeling down, trying not to get ahead of myself.
“Why don’t you ever say anything when I am out on the balcony at night if you’re awake?” I asked.
“I like watching you. The way you move. The way you let your guard down and look up into the sky, knowing no one is watching. I wish you could be like that more often. Carefree and able to be who you truly are.”
I smiled at him, reaching for the necklace. My face fell at the thought of this not being real. He was keeping his mistress happy. That was all.
“Is something wrong?”
“Am—am I allowed to wear my gift outside of this room?” I asked, easing my way into the subject of our unconventional arrangement.
“Of course, you are. You can wear anything I give you,” he said, rubbing his fingers along my arm.
I took a deep breath in, preparing for the uncomfortable encounter. “Gaelin, I don’t mean to ruin this moment, but…what happens when you and Princess Daealla are officially married? What becomes of me?”
He pulled back, seeming taken off guard by the question. “Things remain the same as they are now. I will have to lay with her a few nights a month when she is fertile, but the other nights I will be here, with you.”
My heart cracked, imagining his body enjoying another female. “And…will you take others if you desire?”
His brow furrowed.
“Have you taken others since you’ve been with me?”
“Gen, where is this all coming from?”
“Please, just answer the questions. I don’t know how this all works. I’m just trying to understand my future here and what becomes of me after this.”
His eyes dropped from mine. He was uncomfortable as I was.
“Am I not supposed to ask these questions?”
“No, of course, you can ask. You know you can ask or tell me anything. I just wasn’t expecting this tonight.” He straightened. “When I first chose you and I realized you didn’t want me in that way, I took a few others in the first weeks of your stay here. When I began to know you and desire you more intimately that behavior stopped. I haven’t been with anyone since you. I don’t plan on taking another into my bed, but if that time comes, I promise to be honest with you. No matter where you and I end up going, I will always make sure you are safe and well cared for.”
“And…if I get pregnant?” I asked, knowing the answer.
He grimaced. “I can’t have children with anyone except for my wife. You know this, Gen. It is our society’s way, and I can’t change that.”
I nodded, feeling the sting from hearing the words come out of his mouth. “So, I will never be a mother.” The word mother felt heavy as it rolled across my tongue.
“Is that something you wanted?”
“I don’t know. I never really thought about it. Before you, I never really thought of having a person to love or becoming a mother. It wasn’t important to me because I didn’t know I could feel this way for another. Yes, on some level I was lonely and desired a connection or some type of comradery, but I thought I would have time to decide.” We were silent for a few moments, not knowing what to say next.
“I know the humans and alfar have a different formality about relationships and marriages, but I want you to know that I do care about you. More than I thought I would. More than I thought I could,” he said, turning my face to his.
I looked into his eyes, feeling devastated at the thought of not being with him. “I know it’s not my place, but I don’t want to share you, Gaelin. Not even with her.” A small tear escaped my eye.
He caught it with his thumb, scooting closer to me. “I don’t want to be with her. You know I want to be here with you. When we are in here, nothing and no one out there matters. I am yours and you are mine.”
“How can you say that? I can’t even look at you outside of this room. I am nothing but your whore.”
“Don’t say that. You are not my whore. You never were and you never will be. Gen, I didn’t expect any of this. To feel the way I do for you. To care about you so deeply. Being with another sickens me and hurting you makes it even worse. I want to give you everything that your heart desires and I wish I could, but our world doesn’t allow me to do that.”
I dropped my face from his hand, knowing that the pain was only going to intensify as time continued. “I’m sorry for bringing this up. I’m just still not sure how to feel. I’ve spent my whole life watching humans fall in love, raise families, and dying at each other's sides. Having mistresses or sharing partners is looked down upon in The Frey. This is all foreign to me and my emotions are getting the better of me.”
He took my hand. “I’ve never been in love before and I’ve rarely seen it, but believe me when I say, I’ve never felt for another what I feel for you. You’re a light in every sense of the word. I want to make you happy to the best of my abilities if you will allow me the chance. I know I can’t give you the life you deserve, but I promise the life I will give you will be full of happiness.”
I smiled. Nothing I could say would change our situation. Better to hold onto the small moments of heaven in this hell. I took his face in my hands and kissed him gently. This was my life. This was who I was and all I was ever going to be unless I found a way to escape. I would have to learn to share him. I would have to learn to look the other way if he chose another to warm his bed. I would have to learn how to survive, but most importantly, I would have to learn how to shield myself from falling in love with him.
An alfar who could offer me nothing but fleeting moments of happiness. Play the game and survive. Just until I could escape. But leaving would mean letting him go.
I pushed him back onto the bed, straddling him as I unbuttoned my dress. He watched my every movement. As the dress slid down my body, leaving me naked and exposed, he ran his hand down my neck to my chest, touching the small star pendant. I leaned into him, taking his mouth as I removed the last article of clothing from his body. That night I distracted myself in ecstasy, not dwelling on what I couldn’t have, but focusing on what I did.
I awoke violently from a dream, sweating and panting, out of breath. I looked over at Gaelin; still sound asleep. I crawled out of bed and leaned against the balcony, allowing the night breeze to cool the moisture that covered my skin. I closed my eyes, reliving the images that flashed through my head. Dark soldiers in the light court’s throne room. Violence and manipulation. War and death.
I tried to sift out the memories of the dream to make a clear image appear. I could see Gaelin’s face, tense with worry. A darker-haired male approached him, smiling with satisfaction as if he was taunting Gaelin. I felt the tension between Gaelin and myself as if something was coming between us, but what, I could not see. A banquet or celebration was being held in the throne room. Food and wine lined every table. I could see dark alfar soldiers eating with the light. As I focused on the event, my hand suddenly cramped with pain. I pulled it against my body and took a few deep breaths, trying to keep quiet.
I didn’t know what was happening or why I would have a dream like that, but something about it felt real and familiar. Gods, I wished I could talk to Lily. She could always help me sort through the mess that was my own head. I took one more look up at the stars before crawling back into bed. I closed my eyes, willing myself to have a peaceful sleep, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something or someone was coming.
I didn’t get much sleep for the rest of the night. I got up before Gaelin and started on my chores for the day. I was able to escape during lunch, using the excuse that I needed to find herbs for Gaelin to get away from the hustle and bustle of the court. I found a field of lavender and laid down among the familiar scent. Images of my mother began to play from my memory.
Her kind and loving smile. The creases around her eyes as she laughed while I danced for her. The way her kiss felt on my forehead. The sound of her voice as she sang me to sleep. I missed her so much. I wanted her to appear to me now more than I had in the past eleven years. She had gone through this and survived, but how? I cried softly until my body tired, and I fell asleep amid the comforting purple blossoms.
Something rough scratched along my lower cheek. The strong nudge jolted me awake, and I could feel hot breath as something panted against my skin. I slowly realized I was no longer alone in the lavender field. I opened my eyes slowly to see a scaled muzzle with two large nostrils hovering over me.
I scooted out from underneath it cautiously. The creature backed away from me and I saw the yellow and black of its slitted eyes, like a reptile’s. Its body was full of scales ranging in color from green to red, to purple. The creature's toes were long with clawed hooks for nails. Sharp, needle-like teeth hung down out of its mouth.
It never took its eyes off me as it tilted its head in curiosity. I slowly got to my feet, realizing I very well could be dead at any moment. The creature began to stomp its feet as two massive wings sprang from either side of its back. Its tail whipped at the ground, sending the grass and lavender plants into the air. It was some type of small dragon.
I dropped back to the ground and curled into a protective position. I was barely able to breathe. I could still feel its shimmering eyes on me, studying me. A few moments went by before it moved closer to me, its warm breath on the back of my neck. It slowly bent down its scaled rough snout to my head and nudged me again. When I didn’t respond, it repeated the motion, letting out a small whine.
I couldn’t stay here and wait for it to get hungry. Against my own body's protest, I lifted my head, shaking every inch that I rose. I sat back on my knees, making eye contact with the dragon. It looked at me for a moment and then brought its head gently to mine. I closed my eyes, waiting for the teeth to snap my head off, but instead, it nuzzled against me like a dog. I tried steadying my breath as it pulled away from me. Still shaking, I took a chance and stretched out my arm as it lowered its head to my hand, taking in my touch.
The scales were rough and ridged, yet smooth in certain areas. Realizing I wasn’t going to be its dinner, I stood and took a step closer. I ran my hands across its neck, studying the magnificent creature I had only ever heard tales of. Two horns protruded from its head, black as night. As I peered into its eyes, a loud whistle sounded from afar. The dragon snapped its head up, backing away from me before flaring its wings to take off. I fell to the ground from the massive force of wind. The beast soared into the sky.
I got to my feet without a second thought and took off back to the palace. I ran through the halls, trying to find Gaelin or Levos to tell them what I had just seen. Both the alfar and the humans seemed to be on edge, which was out of norm, but I didn’t care. I had to tell someone what had just happened. I rounded the corner towards Gaelin’s chambers and was caught by Levos’s strong arms. He slammed me against the wall without warning.
“Where have you been? We’ve been looking everywhere for you?” he snapped.
“You will never believe what just happened,” I said, panting for breath.
“It will have to wait. The dark court has arrived unannounced. Everyone is meeting in the throne room. You’re with me.” He pulled me from the wall, and we walked towards danger.
“What? Why are they here?” I asked, feeling a small chill of fear radiate down my spine. Images of my dream the night before began to reply in my mind.
“Apparently there was a large horde of beasts that came through the rift yesterday. They’ve been tracking them since they left their lands, and the horde has now set up camp along our kingdom’s borders. The horde is led by a general we’ve had encounters with before. He goes by the name of Otar. We think Otar is controlling the rift, or at least what comes out of it.”
“Is Otar an alfar?”
“Oh, no. He looks like a demon. His skin is black as coal. He has sharp yellow teeth and bat-like ears with yellow eyes. He’s a smart creature though. Something that is able to scheme and think independently. The royals are hoping that if we eliminate Otar the rift will close.”
“So, the dark court is here to help then?” I asked.
“We shall see. There are a lot of them, so stay close to me and don’t go anywhere alone until they leave. The castle isn’t safe while they are here.”
We entered the throne room and slid into the crowd. I tried to move to the wall the other humans were standing along, but Levos locked his arm in mine and shook his head, keeping me close.
The king, queen, and princess sat on their thrones with Gaelin perched at Daealla’s side. He looked at me and nodded. I didn’t respond. Both large golden doors in the back of the room flung open without warning and a group of dark-haired warriors, both male and female, entered the throne room. The light alfar tensed as the dark court entered like they owned the place. They walked with confidence and pride as if they were the most powerful beings in the world. From what Levos had told me, they very well could be. Their faces were unnervingly beautiful, if not more so, than those of the light court.
The group was being led by a man who could have been Lucifer himself. He was devastatingly handsome and elegant. His jaw was broad and strong. His eyes were silver, the color of liquid mercury. His powerful back veered to form a V at his waist. He wore all black: a floor-length jacket that hugged every part of his body perfectly with satin trim tracing the collar, a buttoned shirt that lay open at the top to reveal his chest, tight-fitting pants, and boots that came to his knees.
The rest of his followers were dressed more practically, in black leather. Some of the females wore revealing tops and dresses. Their hair was styled in all different fashions. A few members of the group winked at some of the light alfar members as they passed by. Most, kept their eyes forward, fixated on the royals at the front of the room.
As I watched the beautiful dark alfar pass us by, my breath caught in my lungs as something familiar caught my eye. A few of the dark alfar members had black markings on different regions of their bodies like the one carried by the man in my dreams. I forced my eyes to the floor before I was caught looking. My mind was in shambles. The connection to what I saw in my dreams and the dark court was uncanny.
The leader stopped in front of King Lysanthier and simply nodded. No bow, no curtsy, just a nod. I couldn’t help but smile at the insult. Suddenly, I had a sense of déjà vu. The dark figures, the throne room, the tension, all of it. I shook my head to dislodge the thought. No, that was impossible.
“Ambassador Lyklor, we weren’t expecting you. A letter would have sufficed,” said King Lysanthier.
“When our fellow brethren are in danger, we come to the rescue. Isn’t that what our little treaty agreed upon?” said the ambassador. His voice was deep and smooth like a shot of whiskey coating your insides. It sent a chill through my body that I couldn’t explain. Levos pulled me closer.
King Lysanthier looked at the ambassador with disgust. “We appreciate the assistance in eliminating the threat at our borders. Since we have only just discovered the position of the horde, we will need time to prepare for an attack. Lord Atros will take charge of the situation. You will relinquish control of your infantry to him for this mission.”
Ambassador Lyklor smiled, revealing a perfect set of white teeth. His canines were longer than normal with sharp points at the end. “While I do respect that we are in your territory,” said Lyklor, “my infantry will only defer to me. But I will be happy to share what I’ve learned about the enemy along with helping Lord Atros defeat our mutual threat. When shall we begin planning? I think we would all agree the sooner the better.”
“Immediately,” said Gaelin coldly.
Lyklor turned slowly to meet Gaelin’s gaze. “Excellent. And in the meantime, what are the living arrangements for my court?” Lyklor looked around the room at the alfar and then at the humans lining the wall. His gaze tracked to the front row where Levos and I stood arm in arm. I could feel his eyes lock onto me only for a moment before he returned his attention to the king.
“We will have rooms ready for you by the end of the day,” answered King Lysanthier. “Until then, you are our guests. I feel the need to remind you that our laws are not like the ones you are accustomed to abiding by. If any action is taken that breaks them, your kind will be punished accordingly.”
“We can behave ourselves, light king. None of your confinements will be broken by our kind while we are under your roof. Though, I must say, you seem to have quite an excessive number of humans. It seems to me we need to revisit our original arrangement,” said Lyklor.
The king tensed. “I’m sure if your kind refrained from offering up human sacrifices to your insufferable god our courts would have the same number of humans,” he said.
Lyklor laughed, shaking his head. “Perception isn’t always reality...king. Gaelin, shall we?”
Gaelin tensed, stepping off the platform. He walked past Levos and I, taking another look at me before leaving the throne room.
Lyklor tracked Gaelin’s attention towards me as if studying our connection. The ambassador grinned at me in a way that made my blood run cold. I dropped my eyes, moving slightly behind Levos. Lyklor and his court followed Gaelin out. A sense of relief swept through the light court, as if the air had been let back into the room.