chapter seven The Curse Is a Real Cock Block
chapter seven
The Curse Is a Real Cock Block
We go to my place, obviously to avoid Olsen, and pause by Pat’s to grab Sir Winston Churchill. I forgot to warn Lex about
the little maniac, but thankfully she’s a dog person.
“I forgot you have a dog,” Lex says, squatting so Winston can assault her with his gingivitis.
I take a wad of paper towels from Pat and go through the routine of soaking up all the puddles Winston leaves in his wake.
“We haven’t had any of the normal conversations two people generally have when they get to know each other.”
Lex huffs a laugh. “This is true.”
“He ate all his lunch,” Pat informs me before relaying every single moment of their day together, which takes a better part
of five minutes, ending with: “I haven’t had a chance to walk him, though. The old hip’s been acting up.”
“No problem. I can take him. Lex, do you mind?” I ask.
Lex shakes her head. “Not at all.”
I snap the leash Pat keeps for Winston onto his collar, and we descend the front steps and back out onto the sidewalk.
The sun has set now, and there’s a beautiful glow about the city this time of day.
Other dog walkers and joggers pass as they enjoy the balmy weather, the windows of all the other cozy homes are lit with people eating dinner and watching TV, and there’s a special kind of warmth to the air that permeates the city in these early summer days before it gets too stiflingly hot later in the year.
“Sure has a lot of energy,” Lex comments as Winston runs from his tenth pee spot to his eleventh. “How old is he? He’s pretty
grey.”
“Going on fourteen years now. His kidneys barely function, he has cataracts in both eyes, and he’s missing a lot of teeth,
but he’s still super frisky. I wouldn’t be surprised if he lived another three years.”
Lex keeps step beside me. “That’s sweet you kept your family dog.”
“He’s not my family dog. I adopted him two years ago.”
Her brows shoot up. “Seriously?”
We pause to cross the street, waiting for the light to change. “Yup. He’s my third senior rescue. I always go for the old
ones nobody else wants so they can have a great end to their life.”
Lex shakes her head. “I can’t believe someone just dropped him off at a shelter. He has so much life left in him.”
I shrug. “People surrender animals all the time. You never know what’s going on. Maybe they were having a hard enough time
putting food on the table and couldn’t afford his medication.”
She regards me a long moment. “It’s really amazing of you to do that.”
I’m not sure what’s worse, Lex’s usual piercing gaze assessing the deepest crevices of my soul, or this new admiring one like she’s expecting rainbows to start shooting out my ass. I can’t change the subject fast enough. “Is this your week without your kid?”
Thankfully, Lex lets me shift the focus. “Yes. We’re trying fifty-fifty custody right now, and it’s killing me. I’ve never
had this much time to myself.”
“That sounds rough. At least you have your brother to keep you company.”
“He has shift work, usually evenings and weekends when I’m off.”
“You mentioned something about your friends siding with your ex.” I remember from our conversation at the pub.
“Yep.” Lex nods. “I was the bad guy who broke up our seemingly perfect marriage, and he was painted as the victim.”
“So, what really happened?” I ask, hoping I’m not being too invasive.
“From the outside looking in, my marriage seemed perfect,” she explains. “My husband was a nice enough guy. Had a good job.
Took out the trash most of the time without being asked. He’s a good dad. But people didn’t see what was going on behind closed
doors.”
She goes quiet and I give her space to think, waiting patiently for her to continue, the plodding of our footsteps on the
pavement meditative and comforting.
“I just couldn’t be myself around him,” she says eventually, keeping her gaze forward. “He always had something nitpicky to
say about me. I cut my hair too short one time and he didn’t talk to me for a week. If I didn’t put on enough makeup when
we were going out he’d send me back inside to do it again. Whenever we were out together I felt on edge, like I was performing.”
“That’s awful.”
Lex fidgets with her jacket sleeves. “I started feeling anxious all the time, waking up and being nauseous, not looking forward to the day, glancing at the clock and my gut sinking with every minute that ticked closer to him coming home from work.”
“I’m sorry.” I wish I had something better to say.
Lex shrugs. “It is what it is. I’d grown up feeling that way in school. I just didn’t expect to have to keep up such ruses
as an adult.”
“Were you an anxious kid?”
“I was bullied a lot in school—not in the big ways like you see on TV, like getting shoved into lockers or anything like that.
It was the small things that happened every day, the ways the other kids made sure I knew I was weird and didn’t fit in. The
snubs to my character, the backhanded compliments. I felt like I was never good enough, that I could never do anything right.
I didn’t have any true friends who accepted me exactly as I was. Everything was conditional.”
“I’m sorry you went through that.” Hearing her recount her experience reminds me my own past, which sours my stomach. I glance
at Lex, whose gaze is fixed firmly ahead and add, “School can be awful.”
Lex shrugs. “A lot of people had it worse than me.”
“Doesn’t mean what you went through didn’t matter.”
Lex looks up and gives me the tiniest smile.
I piece Lex’s story together. “So, you felt like you were being bullied by your husband?”
“Bullied might be too harsh a word.” Lex grimaces. “It wasn’t that bad. He’s a good guy. I think most people in my situation would
have stayed, but I couldn’t do it. I’d rather be lonely and on my own than in a relationship with the wrong person who was
slowly sucking the life out of me. That is a much worse form of loneliness.”
I hum my agreement.
“I’d rather be the bad guy and starting over by myself than live a life where I’m just a zombie going through the motions, pretending to be happy just to keep everyone else happy. What kind of lesson is that for my kid?”
“I think it’s a tough situation either way, honestly—moms sometimes have a hard time doing what’s right for them, whether
that’s sticking around or deciding to leave. I think it’s better for your kid to grow up seeing their mom happy than to know
you’re suffering in silence. And—” I give Lex an approving smile “—I think it was really brave of you to leave. Not everyone
has the means or the opportunity to do what you did, and I’m proud of you for making that tough choice.”
Lex slows to a stop. I pause, too, Winston tugging on his leash. Lex regards me with a stony expression and I second-guess
my words, worried I said the wrong thing.
Finally, she says, “Thank you. No one’s ever said that to me before.”
I release a relieved exhale, then reach out with my free hand and take hers in mine, giving it a squeeze. “I mean it.” A tiny
smile meets her face as she squeezes my hand back, and a flutter echoes through my chest at the contact. But before I can
decipher it, it’s over—Lex releases my hand and we continue our walk.
“What about you?” she asks as we round the final corner back toward my home.
“Me? I’ve never been divorced.”
“No.” She laughs. “Was your high school experience as shitty as mine?”
A cloud passes over me, recalling all the drama: girls who were supposed to be friends tittering about one another behind
their back, alliances shifting faster than their hormones, and one particularly cruel rumour being spread about blow jobs
in the boys’ change room.
My cheeks warm as my gut twists. “Yeah. Bullying affected me quite a bit.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Lex says, her voice soft. “Girls can be so cruel.”
“Yes,” I agree, speaking from experience. “They can.”
After a few moments Lex asks, “So what was your longest relationship, then?”
I’m relieved the conversation is shifting, even though my admission is embarrassing. “It’s pretty rare that I get past the
second date.”
“What!” Lex doesn’t even try to hide the surprise in her voice.
“The curse is a real cock block. It’s kind of hard to get anyone to go on a second date with you after giving them a skin
burn on their dick from trying a new double-hand twist hand-job technique you saw in a porno,” I joke.
A smile lights up Lex’s face. Are those . . . dimples?! No fucking way she’s been hiding dimples from me this whole time! Encouraged, I continue with the self-deprecating anecdotes.
“Getting a second date is also out of the question when the guy has a creepy ventriloquist dummy collection that stares right
into your soul while you’re getting laid.”
Lex chuckles, shaking her head.
“And second dates aren’t recommended after his dog tries to join in and the guy refuses to make it leave, even after it starts
licking your butt cheek.”
“Oh god, ew.” Lex cringes as she laughs. “Okay, those are all good reasons to not go on second dates.”
“Ha, see? I’m cursed! Boom. Science.” I pretend to drop a mic.
“Unfortunately,” she says, “anecdotes are not a scientifically valid form of evidence.”
I groan in frustration. “You witnessed it first-hand! Well, listened to most of it. But still, you can’t deny what happened
with that Tall & Buff guy.”
Lex grimaces. “I didn’t see anything awkward so much as dangerous.”
“Come on, now. A Law & Order show in the background for a make-out session?”
Lex pauses our walk, grabbing my elbow. “I’m serious. Do you always go home with guys you don’t know?”
“Hey now, let’s not be judgmental,” I tut.
Lex lifts her palms. “No judgment for hookups. But yes, judgment for putting yourself in danger.”
“Any woman who goes on a date with a man is putting herself in danger,” I retort. “Men are women’s only natural predator.”
“Unfortunately true,” Lex agrees, but only seems more troubled. We continue our walk, Winston tugging ahead as we round the
final corner back to my house.
“And I already promised you I wouldn’t ignore red flags like that again,” I say, nudging her arm.
Lex nods, mildly appeased. I, however, won’t be satisfied until I hear three magic words from those full lips of hers: You were right.
“What more do I need to do to prove to you that the curse is real?” I ask, tugging Winston away from his fiftieth pee spot.
Lex purses her lips thoughtfully. “Jumping to conclusions and calling your circumstances a curse isn’t something I, as a scientist,
am willing to do.”
We pause in front of my place as I turn to face her, raising an eyebrow. “Then what are you willing to do?”