3 Lindsey
Lindsey
MOOSE’S IS CROWDED, NOT that I should’ve expected anything less. Not only is it a Saturday during the summer, but with the annual Lumberjack Games and the axe throwing tonight, it’s even busier than usual.
“You showed!”
I hear Nathan’s voice over the thrum of the crowd that’s well on their way to being drunk—if not drunk already—and country music playing from the old jukebox in the far corner of the bar.
I tuck a piece of hair I straightened for my rare night out behind my ear and plaster the biggest smile on my face I can muster. I’m already itching to go home and rest. I never did get to take that bath I wanted.
By the time I was done getting a gift for Moira then picking up the house, I had to run back to the games to meet Nathan and get Kas. Both were none the wiser that I ever left in the first place, though Nathan did look suspicious.
Kas was so hopped up on sugar and excitement that she didn’t stop talking about it until I dropped her off at Moira’s.
She even mentioned a summer obstacle course program that one of the loggers is running, which starts on Friday.
The kids she was hanging out with are doing it, and she wants to sign up too.
Count that as another surprise for the day—one that I’m happy about.
“I showed,” I reply, stepping up to the booth where Fox and Morgan are sitting.
Nathan hugs me, the rough stubble of his facial hair scratching my cheek.
When I pull back, Fox is standing. He towers over my five-foot-eight frame, and I won’t lie, he still scares me a bit.
He’s not only tall but also covered in tattoos.
His long blond hair is up in a bun at the top of his head, showing off the geometric shapes spanning the skin of his throat and up to his ears.
I’ve learned his gruff and grumpy demeanor is simply part of who he is, though the more I get to know him, the more I see it’s a mask for the sweet man he is underneath.
That part of him shines through most when he looks at his wife, Morgan, and now my brother, something I also had to get used to.
I love that Nathan found love, and I’m fully supportive of him coming out as bisexual, but it took me a bit of getting used to having him date then get engaged to a married couple.
Especially after Jeremy cheated on me while we were married.
But their relationship and how they started is completely different from what happened to me. It’s not even in the same ballpark. There was no cheating involved. The love between this polyamorous throuple is truly beautiful.
“Nice to see you, Lindsey.” Fox hugs me briefly after I greet him back.
He’s roughly pushed aside when Morgan slides out from the booth and pulls me in for a tight hug.
Her warm body wraps around me, and the scent of her shampoo tickles my nose, a scent that reminds me of sunshine—a good descriptor for Morgan.
When I first met her, I told Nathan she was sunshine personified, the exact opposite of her husband.
She’s open and friendly, someone that I’ve come to consider a friend.
She’s even come over for girls’ nights with me and Kas.
This summer, she’s also taken Kas to work with her on days I needed unexpected childcare and bought a video game console for their cabin so Kas could teach her and Fox how to play with her and Nathan.
The loggers have really become part of our family in the last year, and Kas loves her aunt and uncle. Or so she’s started calling them already. The first time it happened, I swear I saw Fox tear up, but he quickly masked it with his usual half smirk.
“Thank god you’re here!” Morgan says, squeezing me even tighter. “I needed more femme energy in this bar. It’s full of burly dudes who smell.”
“Hey! I smell good,” Nathan chides from next to me.
“Only sometimes,” Morgan says quietly in my ear so Nathan doesn’t hear. I chuckle and squeeze her back, feeling better about coming to the bar already. Maybe I did need to get out of the house and see them.
Morgan leans back from the hug and checks me out. “Hot as usual. Love that dress.”
“Thanks.” Truthfully, the dress is nothing special. It’s a simple rose-colored sundress, but the bell sleeves are cute, and the short-cut hem shows off my legs and very round ass.
“Come sit next to me, Linds. Fox, you be a good boy and sit next to Nathan.”
Fox stares at Morgan, and they share a look that’s almost like Fox scolding a child who’s being bratty.
Nathan says something that sounds like “you’re asking for it” under his breath, but I ignore it.
I’ve learned that the three of them have their own language and inside jokes.
It can be a little annoying sometimes but only because I can get envious of what they have.
Fox maintains stern eye contact with Morgan for another moment, but then Nathan slides in the right side of the booth, tugging Fox with him.
The two of them settle in next to each other, and Fox doesn’t waste time draping an arm around Nathan’s shoulders, pulling him into his side and laying a kiss on the top of his head.
My heart squeezes, and I decide that I need a drink. Stat.
Morgan takes my hand and gestures to the table. “We got a pitcher of beer. That work for you, or do you want to get a shot?”
I meet her hazel gaze and wonder if I looked that obvious. I’ll have to do better at schooling my facial features.
“Beer is fine.”
“You sure?” She squeezes my hand. “Or we can have Moose crack out a bottle of wine—I know you like a good dry red.”
I snort thinking about the owner of this place—who is, in fact, named Moose—having a bottle of wine in this dive bar. He’s a big man with a round belly who wears shorts all year, even in blizzards.
I shake my head and slide into the booth so Nathan is across from me. “Beer is good.”
Morgan accepts that answer and sits beside me, taking the empty glass they had waiting for me and filling it with the bubbling yellow-colored beer.
“I was about to text you when you didn’t show up on time,” Nathan says.
I meet his eyes and take a sip of the hoppy liquid. “Sorry, my dress was in the dryer.” It’s true that it was, but I was also waffling between playing sick and following through on my promise to come.
“I’m glad you came.” He smiles while leaning into Fox.
“I am, too!” Morgan chirps. “It feels like we haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Sorry, work has been so crazy. Especially with the games in town.”
“Big baby-men coming to get splinters removed from their fingers?” she asks.
I laugh. “Funnily enough, yes. A guy came in last night complaining that he was in so much pain he needed to be seen right away. When I removed the splinter, you would have thought I was cutting off his finger.”
Nathan and Morgan laugh along with me while Fox’s chest shakes.
Morgan clears her throat. “Speaking of overreacting men, I’m surprised you didn’t get called in to help with Levi. He can be a bit of a handful.”
“You can say that again,” Fox grumbles.
“Levi?” I ask.
“Yeah, the competitor who broke his leg today at the speed pole competition. It’s the first time we’ve ever had an injury like that while hosting the games, but I can’t say I’m shocked.
He works for us as a logger. I told him he wasn’t ready to go up against men like Dane.
He should have done the forty-foot climb instead of the ninety. ”
My stomach flips, and my eyes skirt to Nathan’s. He’s watching me carefully, and I know I do a crap job of hiding the fear on my face. Fear because I know I’m caught.
“You went home after Kas and I went to the obstacle course, didn’t you?” Nathan asks.
I’m busted.
I pull the pitcher of beer toward me and refill my glass, taking a sip.
“Linds—”
“Don’t be mad,” I cut Nathan off. “I got a lot done and did exactly what you told me to do. I had an afternoon to myself.”
“Did you rest at least?”
“Define rest.”
Nathan sighs, his face visibly tense with disappointment. It reminds me of Dad, even though I know he doesn’t mean it in the way Dad did. Nathan loves me, and I know he’s not disappointed in me, just that I didn’t do what he hoped I would do.
“You know what, I think we need that shot,” Morgan says.
“I’ll get them,” Fox adds, standing.
“I’ll come with you, baby.” She scoots out of the booth but not before shooting a “behave” look at Nathan.
With the couple gone, Nathan and I are left alone. I take another sip of my beer before I meet my brother’s eyes. They’re the same earthy-brown color as mine and Kas’s.
“You lied to me.”
I stare down at the wood grain of the table we’re sitting at, tracing one of the knots with my finger. “I didn’t want you to get angry that I left.”
Nathan reaches across the table and tugs my hand into his. “I’m not angry. I just—you’re starting to freak me out.”
I pull my hand back and sit straighter in the booth. “Freak you out?”
“You’re different. Not just tired, sadder. Is something going on with Jeremy that you’re not telling me?”
The name of my ex-husband makes me flinch. “Nothing he isn’t known for doing already.”
“Does he want Kas to come down for the summer?”
I shake my head. “He’s too busy with his girlfriend and some new deal he landed for a fancy NBA player. She’ll continue to visit him one weekend a month—that’s the agreement as of now.”
“Too much, if you ask me,” Nathan says.
I nod, agreeing. But while I hate Jeremy and the woman he cheated on me with, I’m not going to deprive Kas of her dad. He may be a dick to me, but he loves his daughter, and Kas likes the one weekend a month she spends there.
“Then what’s going on?”
The truth is on the tip of my tongue. I should tell him that it’s more than being overworked and overtired—I feel as if my life has gotten away from me.
And while I’m sure Nathan knows, Mom leaving us hurt.
I understand why she moved back to Santa Solana, but it really messed up the pattern we’d fallen into and brought up some abandonment issues I’ve never addressed after Jeremy cheated.
Not to mention, with it being summer and Kas not being in school, I’ve had to find childcare for her, which has taken more money from my paycheck.
Between that and the lawyer bills I’m paying, I’m drowning.
The house is often a mess, and I feed Kas cereal or Pop-Tarts for breakfast and frozen food for dinner instead of home-cooked meals like Mom used to.
On top of that, I’m so goddamn lonely. I miss being touched, held, kissed.
I take a breath through my nose and force a smile for my younger brother. Since he was a kid, I’ve always tried to be strong for him, show him that I’ve got it all together. With age, that hasn’t changed.
“Like I said, just tired.” He cocks his head at me, the “really” look now plastered on his face. I sigh.
“The summer is just a little rough is all. Kas not being in school puts pressure on me financially since I need childcare without Mom here. I’ve been paying Rina’s daughter, JoJo, from next door to help out.
It’s been difficult, and I know that sounds selfish because I’m not entitled to Mom’s help. ”
“That’s not selfish, Linds. Not at all. And I hope you don’t think Mom left because she felt like you were taking advantage.”
A nagging voice in my head that’s been saying that since she left comes to the surface. “I wouldn’t blame her if that is why she left. She already raised us and took care of Dad when he was alive. She deserves to have time to herself now.”
“That may be true, but you know it’s because she didn’t like the small-town life here. She missed her friends and the ocean. You know she probably would have stayed if you were honest about needing help. You told us you were fine.”
“I’ll be okay. I just need to make it till the start of the school year at the end of August.”
“Until then, let me know what days you need help. I’ll take Kas as much as I can.”
“You already take care of her when I pick up extra shifts and helped so much last school year.”
“Make a calendar, and tell me what days,” Nathan insists. “You know Fox and Morgan love Kas, and I can do my marketing work for Morgan and Fox while I watch her.”
“Are you sure?” I exhale.
“Positive. Make the calendar tomorrow and email it to me.”
Fox and Morgan return with two rounds of shots collected in their hands. Morgan slides in next to me and throws an arm around my shoulders, using her free hand to push a shot toward me.
I stare at the layered brown-and-white shot. “What the heck is this?”
Morgan shakes me playfully. “I went safe and got some slippery nipples since Moose and his bartenders didn’t know how to make a lemon drop. The weirdos.”
The name of the shot is ridiculous, and I find myself smiling again, my conversation with Nathan and my problems starting to slip away. Morgan’s infectious energy also helps, and I’ll admit having my brother’s help more during the next month and a half will ease the pressure I’ve been feeling.
“Couldn’t have just gotten us vodka?” Nathan asks, picking up the shot and staring at it.
“Where’s the fun in that, Wolfie?” Morgan sing-songs.
Fox picks up a shot and, without a word, downs it. All of us watch him as he swallows then slams the empty glass on the table.
“That tastes like shit.”
There’s a pause before we all break out in laughter and quickly follow his lead, drinking down the concoction.
[IMAGE ALT TEXT]: Dom is standing close to the camera, only his bare chest visible. The image is in black and white, and his muscles are taut and flex as he speaks.
Auto Captions:
Did you get your steps in today, baby?
No? That’s alright. Life happens. But you and I both know your goals matter, and I know how badly you want to meet them. So let me ask you: What are you going to do differently tomorrow?
Waking up earlier? Mm, I like that. That shows commitment. And you know what? That pleases me. But forget about me for a second; how does that sound to you?
Does waking up early tomorrow feel like something you can actually stick to?
You think…or you know?
You know. That’s what I thought. Good girl. [End video]
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