16 Lindsey
Lindsey
WHO KNEW THAT HAVING a good cry over the phone to your online Dom could be as much of a release as a good orgasm?
Not me. Though an orgasm would’ve been a lot more fun and kinder on my eyeballs.
They have felt sore all day from my late-night sob fest, but I do feel lighter in a way I haven’t in a long time.
When I woke up late this morning, I thought I would feel embarrassed.
But to my surprise, I didn’t. While I cried and raged when I found out Jeremy had cheated on me, and I’ve cried since then, I haven’t cried the way I did last night.
I haven’t simply let myself feel and get it out.
There’s something about DomInTheWoods that makes me feel safe, even if we’ve just started working together.
His voice is like a warm hug, and when he said he was here for me, that he’d take care of me, I believed him.
I think it was easier, too, because we don’t know each other, because I don’t have to worry about facing him.
I could let myself go without someone staring at me or giving me a pitying look.
I didn’t feel the need to hide from him like I do with my family.
I didn’t have to be strong for him, I could just…
surrender. And isn’t that why I decided to work with him in the first place?
One thing the cry did prevent me from doing was telling him about Kas.
While packing my lunch and doing my routine, I’d thought about it and had planned to come clean.
But with a clear head this morning, I realized that I don’t need to.
I told Sir I have someone who depends on me, who needs my attention.
That was enough for him to help me see I need to take care of myself, too, even if I know that will take time to learn.
I did better this morning, which I was proud of.
I got up with my alarm, no snoozing. I let Kas sleep in as I did my morning routine, sent Sir my check-in, and then got Kas ready for the first day of her obstacle course.
We even went for brunch and then to the General Store together.
I was able to thank Carlee and Hollyn for their delicious sandwiches that also saved me from making dinner last night since there were enough to take some extras home.
Carlee joked about how the rest of their customers were upset since the anonymous donor cleared them out at lunchtime.
But she was happy that we were all fed and enjoyed the food.
Now, Kas and I are heading out the door for her obstacle course class. They’re holding it at the public park in town. Thankfully, it’s free and will run for four weeks until school starts back up. She’ll miss one week when she visits her dad, but she still wanted to do it.
Kas is buzzing in the car, and I still find it hard to believe she’s this excited over an obstacle course. Especially when she’s been spending so much time with her video games.
“Did you drink my coffee?” I ask her as we drive away from our cabin.
We make eye contact in the rearview mirror, and she scrunches her nose. “No, that stuff tastes like dirt smells.”
I chuckle as I turn onto the road that will take us into town. “When were you drinking enough coffee to decide that?”
“I wasn’t. I tasted it once, and that was enough.”
“I think it tastes good.”
“Good to know you like dirt, Mom.”
I shake my head at my kid. “If you didn’t drink coffee, were you eating sugar?”
“Just the pancakes earlier. Why?”
“Because you’re practically vibrating back there.
Are you excited or nervous about the course?
” I ask while maintaining my focus on the road.
It’s a short drive to the park, which is nice.
It also means I can come back home and take a nap before my shift—if I can get my brain to calm down enough to let me rest, that is.
Put yourself first, Lindsey, I remind myself, though it’s in Sir’s voice when I hear it.
“Excited, I think.”
“You think, or you are?” As the words leave my mouth and repeat in my head, I see Sir has already rubbed off on me. I smile a little as I look in the rearview mirror back at Kas.
“I am. I just hope it’s not a lot of running. I hate running.”
Kas is definitely my kid. When Sir said he ran for workouts, I wanted to cringe. Not my cup of tea. It’s why I chose stretching as a way to move my body every day.
Kas looks out the window, and I observe her through the mirror when I can. Now she looks pensive, and I do think she’s nervous. I want to ask her more, but we pull up to the park before I can.
I see a bunch of obstacles laid out across the lawn of the park, which is surrounded by forest. There are some tires, a bunch of logs, and what look to be rubber axes.
Not sure how those are going to cut wood, but I wouldn’t be okay with my eight-year-old swinging a real axe, anyway.
There’s a bunch of other stuff, too, and I know one day they’re going to go to the public pool and do a log roll.
Kas has her seat belt unbuckled and is already opening the door before I can even fully stop the car.
“Kas! At least wait until I—” But she takes off running before I can finish, the car door slamming in her wake.
I sigh as I turn off the engine and look out the front windshield to see Kas nearly sprinting toward a group of kids that has already gathered, including her friend Moira.
I would never guess she hates running by how fast she sprints to them. I unbuckle my seat belt as she waves to Moira, but instead of stopping, she goes to the boy I saw at the games. What was his name again? Tim? Ted? No, Tyler.
Suddenly, everything makes sense. Is this boy the reason she wanted to do this? Why she even wanted to go to the course at the games?
Goodness, isn’t eight too young to have a crush on someone already?
I release a groan and push open my door. I’m not ready for my kid to have crushes. She was supposed to wait until she was a teenager. I was supposed to have several more blissful years until I had to deal with teenage stuff.
I glance at the reflection of myself in my car window and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.
The other moms are probably wearing makeup, but I didn’t see the need to just to drop my kid off.
Now, I’m kind of regretting it. While I did get some sleep last night, I can see dark circles under my eyes from lack of rest, and the whites of my eyes are still a bit red from all my crying.
I need to pick up some eye drops in case this becomes a regular thing.
I tug my jeans up around my waist and exhale a breath, turning to see Moira’s mom, Mandy, with a few other parents standing near the entrance of the park. Sure enough, Mandy looks flawless. She’s thin, blond, and very bubbly. She’s a nice woman who is always kind to Kas when she comes over.
“Hey, Lindsey!” she calls as I approach, waving at the other parents.
“Hey, Mandy, how are you?”
“Good, good. Just another summer day. Can’t wait till school starts.”
“No kidding.” I laugh.
“Can you believe our girls wanted to do this?”
I chuckle. “I was thinking the same thing.” I look at Kas, who’s still standing next to Tyler.
Tyler is talking to another girl, and Kas is staring at the side of his face like she can see through it.
Damn, my kid’s got it bad. That’s how I used to look at Jeremy when we first started dating.
Totally and completely obsessed. I guess I passed starry-eyed looks down to her, too.
“Have you met the teacher yet?” Mandy asks.
I shake my head. “Just got here.”
“Oh, right, duh. Mom brain.” She leans over so only I can hear. “Wait till you see him. He’s whew!” She snorts.
It’s loud in my ear, and I cringe. “Who is he?”
“Honestly, I forgot what he said his name was. I was looking into his eyes, and I think I forgot how to speak. Tyler’s mom said he’s the guy who won the speed pole event this weekend, and apparently, he lives here but rarely comes into town.
I know I definitely would have remembered him if I’d met him. ”
“Are you blushing, Mandy?”
She snorts again and whispers, “Don’t tell my husband.”
I shake my head and look around the park in an attempt to spot this man.
I’m not one for jokes or anything alluding to cheating, but I know Mandy loves her husband.
She’s just being—well, Mandy. She moved here around the same time I did when her husband got a job as the new sheriff when the other retired.
“I’m surprised you don’t know him,” I say. “You know everyone.”
“That’s what I said, but I guess he’s good at avoiding people. I tried to talk to him, but he doesn’t speak much. For every question I asked, he gave me short and concise answers. That young guy, Levi, was supposed to teach the course, but he broke his leg at the games. This guy is filling in.”
“Levi,” I repeat. “Oh, yes, he had me sign his cast.” I laugh. I’d met him once before in town at the diner; he was a sweet guy. Super flirty but too young for me.
I rack my brain to think who else could teach this course. I know it’s not Fox or Nathan, so—
“Oh, there he is!” She points to a part of the course made of ropes.
My eyes track her finger, and I’m met with the jean-clad ass of a man who’s bent over.
I can’t tell what he’s doing, but I’m guessing he’s tying his shoe.
None of that matters, though, because his ass is what I and the other moms are focusing on.
“Okay, I should go before I have a hot flash,” Mandy says from beside me. “Go say hi to him. I didn’t see a ring, so I bet he’s single. Maybe he’d come out of the woods for you.”
Mandy’s words and soft laugh fall on deaf ears, because I know that butt. It sounds ridiculous to think, but I do. Because I’ve stared at it on Loopr for far too long.
My mouth goes dry as DomInTheWoods, my Sir, stands to his full height.
He’s even more massive in person, and the afternoon sun highlights his broad shoulders covered by a fitted white T-shirt. When he turns, all the air leaves my lungs, and I’m speechless.