Chapter 3
Axe
Motherfucking storms.
Goddamn it. As soon as I rounded the bend, I realized I’d need to head back to the cabin. So much for getting additional supplies. The rain had come in fast, more so than the weather people had predicted. As usual, those who were supposed to be experts were wrong.
My thoughts drifted to my captain and the conversation we’d had earlier that morning before I’d rolled out of the parking lot at a high rate of speed, burning rubber in the process.
Throwing a tantrum wasn’t like me, at least it hadn’t been in the last few years.
Unfortunately, the terse discussion hadn’t been a typical conversation, but a demand made by a man I respected. Captain Daughtry was one of the good ones, a man who’d served as a smokejumper for Missoula for over twenty years. A legend in the community, now the leader of the pack.
“I’m sorry, son, but you are grounded.”
“What do you mean grounded? We’re short staffed, Cap’n.”
“Yeah, I know we are and I’m working on obtaining a few rookies, but you’re out of control and I can’t have that in the department refusing to follow rules.”
“That’s bullshit, Cap’n!” I leaned over his desk and he cocked his head, wearing an expression that I only witnessed when he was pissed. “Is this about Will?”
He appeared horrified that I’d asked if he was holding my brother’s death over my head. I fucking was.
“Jesus Christ, Stephen. That’s what I’m talking about, son, your fucking anger. It’s out of hand. Now, I get why. We all do. What happened affected all of us, every man and woman here. However, this is personal for you. Guilt is eating you alive. You need to take some time to heal.”
“That’s not what I need!” As soon as I exploded, he lifted an eyebrow. I looked away, scrubbing my jaw and doing what I could to control my anger. “Really, Captain. I’m okay. I’m just not sleeping well.”
“Understandable,” Captain Daughtry said, but with his commanding voice. “My decision is final. You’re taking a few days off.”
“I don’t need or want a few days off. I need to work.”
“Don’t argue about this,” Captain Daughtry said as he stood. “You’re going to do as I ask.”
“Fine. I’ll put in a request.”
He glared at me.
“What? You want me to leave now?” I was furious, more so than I’d been in a long time. This was crazy. I didn’t need fucking time off.
When I opened my mouth, he took a deep breath. “Yes, you’re going to leave today and if you don’t follow my orders, I’m going to require you to talk with a counselor and he or she will have to sign off on you coming back to the team. Which I’m certain won’t be for weeks.”
“What am I supposed to do?” I sounded like a sniveling child.
“I don’t know, son. Find a hobby. Volunteer at a rescue organization. Find yourself.”
A rescue organization, my ass. Yeah, I adored animals like the next guy, but how the hell would that help me?
Goddamn it.
The moment I’d opened my mouth to retort, he’d shut me down again. A fucking counselor. I didn’t need to see a goddamn shrink. I was just fine.
So I had nightmares and rarely slept. So what?
Maybe I’d had one too many drinks, which was one reason I was heading out to stock my liquor cabinet, but a little excess was to be anticipated after a tragedy.
Even weeks later.
Okay, fuck it. Maybe I was a mess, but hanging out at the cabin wasn’t going to fix that. At this point, I had no idea if anything could.
With my hand twisting on the thick leather of the steering wheel, I took a deep, rattled breath. The anger had yet to abate. I had no clue what would help. I slammed my hand on the steering wheel with enough force the truck veered off to the side. I hated the damn rain.
A flash of something up ahead caught my eye. What the hell was in the road?
Leaning forward, I adjusted the windshield wipers to high, struggling to make out what I was seeing. The river was out of its banks. Again. “Shit.” This had turned out to be a fucking crappy ass day.
I slowed to a halt maybe thirty feet from a huge body of water covering the two-lane road.
It was deep enough to wash anyone away. If I had to guess, I’d say at least one of the dams had broken upstream.
I could already see hints of the road breaking up.
Fucking fantastic. It took the public works folks over a month to fix a damn pothole.
I blamed that on the corruption within the city council.
I could only imagine how long it would take to get the dams or the road fixed.
I knew I’d better call it in just in case the authorities hadn’t closed off the road on the other side. As I pulled out my phone, I laughed seeing the limited bars. What little reception there was had been cut off by the storm. Hopefully, the two-way radio I had in my truck would be enough.
Thankfully, the rain was starting to slacken off, but the damage was just beginning, the river way beyond its banks. I was just lucky the road where I was located was on a higher plateau, the path leading up the mountain.
With the receiver in my hand, I was ready to make the call when I noticed something out the window. What was that? The call forgotten, I craned my neck to try to figure out what I was seeing, finally opening the window and sticking my head out.
“What the hell?” Was that a damn vehicle halfway in the water? Ah, shit. I tossed the receiver and yanked on the seatbelt. This was the last damn thing I needed to deal with today. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Just as I threw open the door, I heard a sound.
A shrill but weak scream. An animal caught in the current?
I rushed forward, getting as close to the shore as possible. Yes, there was a vehicle plastered against one of the trees on the shoreline. Only from the way it was swaying, it wouldn’t be long before it became additional river debris.
Inching closer, I stretched to see if there was anyone inside.
No.
Fuck. The sound I’d heard was coming from a distance.
I placed both hands against my mouth to create a tunnel effect. “Is anyone there?” Hearing nothing, I turned in a different direction. “Can you hear me?”
A faint sound was there. I could barely hear it over the roar of the raging water, but there was no doubt someone was caught in the rubble.
I jumped over some debris, scanning up and down the waterline.
There was definitely something there. Lodged in the roots of a tree protruding into the water something was floating.
And hanging on for dear life. I was certain of it.
While the river wasn’t anything I wanted to tangle with, I certainly wasn’t going to leave anyone there to die.
“Hold on.” I rushed back to the truck, grabbing my go bag from the back seat.
I kept supplies in case an emergency should arise including rope and other implements.
At this point, that was all that could help in the rescue.
It was apparent the driver tried to cross over the river on the road.
Why were people so damn hardheaded? Turn around, don’t drown, a motto everyone should learn.
Just a few inches of water could sweep you away and when the river was parallel to the road, anyone ignoring basic common sense could face certain death.
But not on my watch.
Snorting, I rushed closer to the rushing water.
Even if the June day was warm, the water temperature was still in the low sixties, which meant hypothermia would be a danger in minutes.
I scanned the water as I’d done before, concentrating on the roots I’d seen.
Had it been a person or just a mound of debris, the sound coming from an animal?
Seconds later, I barely caught sight of an outstretched hand and the glint of long hair floating in the water. The person’s face was slightly obscured by the log, but I sensed it was a woman.
“Listen to me,” I yelled. “I’m coming to get you.”
That’s exactly what I intended, but the conditions wanted me to abandon my heroics for the day. Using very careful steps, I made my way toward her, gasping from the rush of frigid water when I finally waded in up to my thighs.
My boots slipped on the slime underneath and I almost pitched forward, but I kept going. “Can you hear me?”
“Yes!” she yelled, terror gripping her voice.
My teeth chattered as the cold seeped in, but I ignored the burning sensations, pressing forward. When I dropped all the way into the water, almost taken under by the rush, I realized there was no chance of getting to her safely.
There was only one other way and I’d likely have a single chance at making it work.
Backing away, I climbed over several logs.
She whimpered, the sound grabbing at whatever soul I had left.
“Please. Don’t leave me.” Her words were barely audible over the rapids crashing against the trees.
“I’m not leaving. But I can’t save you this way. You’re going to need to help me.”
She lifted her head, gasping for air. Exhaustion had already settled in. If she lost her grip, she’d head downstream toward a slight waterfall. On calm days, it was a kayaker’s dream. Not today. With the speed of the water, she’d be crushed by the weight and tossed against the rocks below.
After finding a safe spot, I planted my feet in the muck to anchor my position.
“I’m going to throw a rope around you and pull you toward me.
Don’t fight me. Okay?” Fucking dear God.
If she did fight me, I didn’t want to even think about what would happen.
In the early days of the rodeo, I’d wanted to be a calf roper.
I’d kept up with the skill until the last few years.
I prayed to God it was like riding a bike.
Whether or not she heard me I couldn’t tell. What I did know is that her lips were blue, her breathing shallow.
When my leg started to ache from the injury that had derailed my career, I almost laughed. Was this karma finding a way of getting to me again?
I shelved the bullshit and concentrated on the rope in my fingers, getting used to the feel of the twisted braid all over again while studying the weather conditions.
The rain was picking up in intensity once again, which would further hinder my rescue attempt. All I could think about was this was a one-shot deal. One shot I had to make.
“Try and stay still. Okay? I’ll get you out of here. I promise.”
Maybe she had heard me because she locked eyes with mine. For a few precious seconds I couldn’t waste, there was nothing else in this world but the two of us.
A loud crack of thunder caught my attention while pulling another whimper from her lips.
The flash of lightning was close. Too fucking close. We were out of time.
I rolled the rope over my head, taking a deep breath and holding the air in my lungs while refusing to allow any of the outside distractions to interfere.
In my youth, I could easily get into the zone of silence even with thousands of people cheering in the stands. Doing so was far more important today. I swung in a circle, forcing myself into a zone.
When I released the rope, a silent prayer drifted into my mind, something I’d promised myself I would no longer do.
Just as the rope neared the girl, her arms slipped free of the tree and she started to go under.
Fuck.
There was nothing I could do. I watched in slow motion as the rope fell inch by inch.
And somehow, it made its mark, falling around her shoulders and arms. With a hard snap, I secured the rope, immediately wrapping the end around my arm and pulling.
At this point, she was dead weight, unable to help, soaking wet and possibly unconscious. I refused to allow that to stop me, yanking and pulling, almost falling face first into the water.
Inch by inch, I pulled her closer, fighting with everything I had to keep her face and head from hitting a log or other debris. While I had a first aid kit, getting her to a hospital wasn’t in the cards until the water receded.
The work was exhausting, taking far longer than I’d hoped, but when she was safely in an area where she wouldn’t be swept away, I pitched myself forward. My grip on the wet fallen log blocked the current, allowing me to get a better footing, but it wasn’t going to last for long.
Like clockwork, I was reminded how powerful nature was, the truck that had to be hers dislodging, swept away within seconds.
Fuck. Two more steps and I had her in my arms, cradling her against my body. I reached for a pulse, thanking God when I felt it. She was alive, although her skin was clammy and her lips even bluer than I’d thought. I had to get her into warmth.
The trek back to the shore took a few minutes, but once I was on the pavement, I hoisted her tightly against me, trying to add some warmth as I made my way to my truck. Several pieces of the road had washed out, crawling a few feet closer to my vehicle. I needed to get the hell out of here.
She was shivering in my arms. I think I had a blanket in the back.
As gingerly as possible, I eased her into the passenger seat, finding what I was looking for.
Before I moved toward the driver’s seat, I eased the huge pocketbook she’d obviously tried to save onto the floor, placed the seatbelt in position and tucked the blanket around her.
I’d jack up the heat for the drive. Just before closing the door, I brushed matted, wet hair from her face.
My breath caught in my throat as recognition kicked in, the sound almost as agonizing as the whimper she’d issued before.
Her eyelids fluttered open, but both eyes were dilated. When she smiled, I was certain the reason was involuntary. Then she murmured before brushing her hand across my arm, “Stephen.”
She was just about the only person now who called me by my real name.
As quickly as she’d awakened, she fell back into a restless sleep while I remained stunned.
I knew her. Every soft curve. Every inch of beautiful porcelain skin.
The one girl I’d craved so long ago, the same one I could never touch. That was a rule and loyalty I’d almost broken and had regretted.
All for a single taste that had haunted me for years.
“Kenzie.”