Chapter 1
Faith
Present Day
Four Years later
“Jesus H. Christ, Lyrica, why did you teach him that?” I complain as my three-year-old son, Alec, squeals at the top of his longs calling my best friend, Lyrica, Ly–Ly.
“What are you talking about, Fay?” Lyrica giggles as she picks Alec up.
“You know what I mean. That high pitch squeal which is ear piercing,” I mutter, turning to get ready for work. Work at a place I seriously hated. Okay so I didn’t hate it. Just the part where men leered at me constantly and threw lewd comments in my direction.
For the past several years, since moving from Louisiana to North Carolina to be closer to my parents before they died in a car accident, I’ve lived with my best friend who has been a God send with helping me with Alec.
“Babe, what can I say, he likes to be loud and heard,” Lyrica laughs as she tickles my son.
Alec squeals again as he doubles over giggling, like only he could. Even when my heart aches for his daddy and wishing things were different, I can see Alex shining through Alec’s eyes. The way he resembles his dad is uncanny.
Shaking my head of thoughts of Alex, I leave the two of them playing so that I can go prepare for work.
I put my hair in a messy bun on top of my head and apply my makeup heavily.
Being that I’m a stripper and hating this is where my life has led me.
I can’t say I don’t enjoy the money I make.
I’ve been the top dancer at Double Trouble from the first week I started, after Alec was born.
Before that the owner, Lawson Landers, put me behind the bar so that while I was pregnant no one would be able to touch me.
Lawson easily became a friend of mine and knew I hated having to dance at his club but understood why I did.
He tried to offer me a management position with a raise, but I didn’t want to feel like he was showing favoritism.
So, he did the only thing he could to make it easier for me to take care of Alec.
Put me as the top dancer and changed some things around at his club.
This also meant he started offering benefits to the girls who work for him on the condition they had a monthly drug, pregnancy, and STD test done.
Why he did all this I’ll never know but I’m grateful to him, all the same.
Lawson didn’t condone the dancers hooking up with customers after hours when it affects his business. Meaning if they wanted to make extra, they went through their boss. I had never done this. I can’t stomach the thought of anyone touching me. It’s bad enough I endure the lap dances.
Again, Lawson tried to tell me I didn’t have to, but it’s a requirement for his girls to give at least one lap dance a night. I refused to be seen as anything but an equal to the other girls.
My phone rings and I glance down at the screen.
Unknown Number.
Sighing I answer putting the phone on speaker, “Hello.”
Nothing but silence comes through the line.
Shaking my head, I end the call and go back to finishing getting ready, by putting my artic melt wig on and securing it into place.
I love the colors in it. Plus, the name of it goes great with my stage name, Glacier.
Donna, our DJ, gave me the name when I first started, and it stuck.
As I leave the bathroom, makeup done, my phone rings yet again. I glance at the screen and groan.
Unknown Number.
I don’t have time for this. It’s happened several times over the past few months.
Hitting the ignore button, I toss the phone in my bag as I pick it up off the floor and grab my necklace.
Slipping it over my head, I leave my room in search of my best friend and little boy, wanting to give him a kiss good night before leaving.
I find them in the kitchen, Alec sitting in his highchair munching away on a cookie as Lyrica cooks dinner for him.
“I’m off to work,” I state when Lyrica turns her attention to me.
“Okay, hun, text me when you get there and of course when you’re on the way home.” Smiling at Lyrica I nod my head. She’s said this every night I had to work.
Giving Alec a kiss, I head out. My phone rings again, this time I don’t even look at it as I pull out my keys and move for my car.
I also don’t look at the rings hanging between my breast on the necklace that I never leave without.
It’s stupid I know. I should have left them along with my phone I had at the time on the bed, but I didn’t.
I couldn’t bring myself to remove them from my finger.
I left everything in that house, from my clothes to my makeup.
I grabbed a change of clothes, Alex and my wedding photo, and the one I had of him sitting on his bike grinning at me, leaving everything else for him to throw away the way he did me.
Even four years later, him breaking his promise to me and not wanting what we had anymore sends a sharp throbbing pain throughout my chest.
Don’t go there.
Keep him in the past where he belongs.
Climbing in behind the wheel, I start my car and put it in gear.
Time to get to work.
Pulling out of the driveway, I do just that turning my focus back to the now.
* * *
“Give it up for Glacier,” Donna calls out through the mic as my last song for the night came to an end.
Throwing a grin over my shoulder I look back to the crowd and give them a little wave before leaving the stage to find Lawson standing there, arms crossed over his broad chest, waiting. Okay, so if I were looking to finally move on, I might go for him but he’s more like a brother to me.
“Gotta say, babe, that was fuckin’ brilliant, then again, every night is, but you gotta man wanting a lap dance.
Told him you were unavailable. He’s offering to pay a grand for a lap dance from you and though I didn’t say yes, I figured I’d ask you.
I don’t like it but it’s your choice,” Lawson states, handing me my robe.
A grand?
Oh shit.
That would be a good chunk to put in the bank account. I’m in the process of saving for a new car since mine keeps breaking down and every little bit counts.
As much as I hate lap dances, I nod my head. “I’ll do it,” I grumble.
Lawson furrows his brow. “You sure?”
“Yeah, I haven’t done any lap dances tonight so this will count as my one,” I state, squaring my shoulders back.
“Alright, but I’m going to stand in the watch room and make sure everything goes without a hitch,” Lawson declares.
“Okay,” I say and make my way toward the dressing room to freshen up as Lawson goes to inform the man asking for the lap dance, that I would be right there.
As the girls talk about the men sitting out in the crowd, I ignore them not wanting to hear them talk about bikers. It only makes me think of Alex and I’m not trying to go there.
Freshened up, I leave the room and make my way toward the hall that leads to the rooms we give lap dances in.
Tank, one of the bouncers, nods at me as he informs me which room to go to. “Room 3.”
“Thanks, Tank,” I mutter as I take a deep breath and step into the room.
I don’t look up until the music starts playing for one of the two songs that he’ll get me for. I lift my head as “Diamonds” by Rihanna begins to play and my heart nearly comes out of my chest.
Oh God.
Please no.
He can’t be here.
Not Alex.