Chapter 5 #2
His eyes searched mine, as if my appearance alone could give him the answer.
“Because of my friends,” I said, exhaling.
“They were with me when the fire first appeared.”
I swallowed, trying to push that memory away—
the one that still filled me with shame.
“And they helped me learn to control it.”
I didn’t want to explain how.
I was afraid he’d laugh—
at me, at Gwendolyn’s ideas.
But they had worked.
I was still alive.
A quiet but heavy sigh left him.
“Either way, I’ll meet them in three days. And I’ll decide whether they can be trusted.”
I scoffed, taking it as an insult.
“You think I haven’t learned how to read people by now?”
“Anything’s possible,” he replied calmly.
What an idiot.
“Now, if your conscience is done tormenting you, we’re going to sleep,” Airis added as the bed creaked slightly when he turned to face the wall.
“Tomorrow’s going to be a long day.”
“Don’t feel like telling me how your powers first appeared?” I asked.
I didn’t know why.
Why it suddenly felt... easy to talk to him.
Even though he irritated me beyond reason.
“Oh? You suddenly feel like sharing your own story?” he asked without turning.
I thought about it.
For a second.
Then shoved the idea away.
“Not really.”
“Same.”
Silence settled over the dark room once again.
******
A surge.
Water burned against my skin.
It wasn’t cold—
it was alien.
Foreign.
Alive.
Hungry.
It devoured me with terrifying speed.
Panic hit instantly.
Sharp.
Sudden.
Without warning.
Tears mixed with saltwater,
and I couldn’t tell anymore—
where the sea ended
and I began.
My body jerked,
fighting.
Desperately.
Pointlessly.
I was drowning.
But I still tried to survive.
My heart pounded
like it wanted to tear itself out of my chest
and float to the surface instead of me.
My eyes darted.
Searching.
Begging.
There.
On the deck.
I had fallen only seconds ago—
but it felt like an eternity had passed.
I saw them.
My parents.
Right in front of me.
I tried to scream.
Again.
And again.
But the sound drowned with me.
They didn’t notice me.
Or...
they didn’t want to.
Somewhere nearby,
the spirits whispered.
Softly.
Insistently.
“You are unloved...”
“You are unwanted...”
Their voices sank deeper than the water.
But I—
damn it—
I didn’t want to believe them.
I reached upward.
Toward the light.
Toward the air.
Toward them.
But the water held me tighter
than any hands ever could.
And I—
once again—
sank.
My eyes snapped open.
My body moved before I could think, sitting up sharply,
gasping for air.
I gulped down air greedily.
A low hum pulsed in my chest, my head—
even in the air itself.
My eyes darted through the darkness, panic rising.
Had it swallowed me after all?
Was I still trapped inside it?
Breathing became harder.
Tighter.
Until I started choking.
My head spun.
Had they finally gotten what they wanted?
Had they finally managed to get rid of me?
My body began to tremble,
and it felt like I was seconds away from losing the very thing that made me alive.
Then—
a touch.
On my wrist.
And I froze.
Instantly.
Another touch followed—
warm, firm—
against my back.
A spark shot through me.
Like a reminder:
You’re alive.
I took a deep breath.
Then turned my head—
and met the glowing eyes of Airis.
I couldn’t see his face.
It was hidden in shadow.
But...
I could feel him.
“Breathe,” he ordered.
“Deep.”
I obeyed.
He didn’t move his hands away.
And I didn’t want him to.
Right now, this barely familiar guy was my anchor.
A role my parents had never been able to fill.
I kept breathing.
Feeling my heartbeat, my thoughts, and the world around me slowly settle.
“How are you?” Airis asked, his voice quiet but firm.
“I’m fine,” I nodded.
And felt his hands pull away.
Something about that...
stung more than it should have.
“Do you get nightmares often?” he asked, watching me closely.
My eyes had adjusted to the darkness now.
I could see his face.
And it was...
serious.
Too serious.
“Not for a while,” I said flatly.
I didn’t want to talk about it.
Didn’t want to revisit the past—
which was already clawing its way back in without permission.
“What helps you fall asleep afterward?”
I was grateful he didn’t ask for details.
But I still pressed my lips together at the question.
It had always been Dwayne.
Our rooms were next to each other.
He always heard when I had nightmares—
his sleep was too light.
He’d come in.
And I’d fall asleep in his arms.
But I wasn’t going to tell Airis that.
Dwayne, Gwendolyn, Mike—
none of them would be there for me the way they used to.
I needed to learn how to survive without them.
“I asked you a question,” he said, his voice colder now.
I exhaled.
He wasn’t going to drop it.
Just like with the pastries.
“They helped.”
“How?”
I swear, one more second under that gaze and I’d start overheating.
“Hugs.”
I avoided looking at him, speaking quickly—
almost rushing the words.
“Let’s just pretend nothing happened. I’m not a kid. I’ll figure it out—”
The bed creaked.
And a second later—
I was in his arms.
I froze.
Completely unable to move.
“What are you—” I started, but he pulled me back down against the mattress.
Without letting go.
Even my heart seemed to stop.
He’d done this before.
“Don’t overthink it,” he said quietly, right next to my ear.
“This isn’t for you.”
First he pulls me in.
Then he pushes me away.
And that—
was dangerously addictive.