Chapter 37
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Sara
I know… I know it’s bad. But curiosity has well and truly gotten the better of me.
So I’ve been doing some light internet sleuthing.
Nothing major, just a little investigative work to try to unravel the mystery of the photo. I want to know who that woman is, and why Nick was so cagey about her.
That’s all. Really.
I told myself I’d let it go. That I wouldn’t get sucked into the rabbit hole. But, of course, I did. And now, here I am, lurking around gossip forums like I’m part of a secret society that’s too nosy for its own good.
Eventually, I come across a reference to a bookstore in Brooklyn, completely out of the blue, one of those throwaway comments that seems to have no connection to anything. But it catches my attention.
Apparently, it’s tied to Nick’s family in some cryptic, way-too-vague-for-my-comfort way. No specifics, but that’s all I need to start wondering if there’s more to this little thread than it seems.
So I go. Why not? What do I have to lose?
I take the subway, dodging commuters and the usual mess of city life, until I finally step off into Brooklyn. The bookstore’s tucked in a quiet corner, far from the main street, and as I walk up to the door, I feel it.
The shift. The soft, quiet pull of something hidden.
I push the door open, the small bell above it tinkling softly, and immediately feel as if I’ve stepped into a different time.
The air smells of old paper and a faint, comforting scent of lavender, like someone’s grandma’s house, warm and safe.
The space is small, but the bookshelves stretch up to the ceiling. Everywhere I look, there’s something I want to pull off the shelf.
I move slowly between the aisles, browsing like I’m any other customer, hoping to find something that could give me a clue, something that might explain the way Nick’s eyes darken whenever his past is mentioned.
But it’s hard to focus when the place is so damn peaceful. It’s a relief. A calm in the chaos of my mind.
I almost don’t notice her at first. I’m scanning the spine of a book when I hear a soft voice from behind the counter.
“Can I help you with anything?”
It’s a simple question, but when I turn, I stop dead in my tracks.
There, standing behind the counter with her hands resting lightly on an open book, is a woman with the kindest face I’ve ever seen.
She’s older than me, but her eyes, those green eyes, are so familiar, they make my chest tighten. It takes me a second to realize why.
She looks exactly like Nick. Exactly.
I don’t know how I didn’t see it sooner. The eyes, the shape of her face, the way she carries herself—it’s all there, in front of me, without a single word spoken.
I hesitate for a second. I don’t know what to say. My heart’s beating faster than it should, and I can’t seem to gather my thoughts.
All I can do is take a small step forward and ask the only question that’s been eating away at me for days.
“Do you… do you know someone named Nick Ashford?”
She blinks, and for the briefest of moments, I see a flicker of something.
Recognition? Surprise? Whatever it is, she masks it quickly, the smooth demeanor never leaving her face.
“I know him,” she says simply, almost too calm.
I swallow, the words hanging in the air between us like an unspoken invitation. It feels like the room just got smaller.
I take a cautious step closer, unable to help myself.
“You do?” My voice is hesitant, as if I’m still trying to gauge her reaction, unsure of what this all means. “How… do you know him?”
She looks at me more closely now, her gaze appraising, before she speaks again. “Who are you?”
There’s no immediate judgment in her voice, but the question feels sharp, like she’s trying to piece something together about me.
I hesitate, my heart racing. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for.
“I’m Sara,” I manage. “I… I’m with Nick.”
It feels strange saying it aloud, but it also feels like the only thing that matters right now.
She studies me for a moment, and for a second, I wonder if I’ve said too much. But then she nods slightly, as if my words have clicked into place.
“Nick and I…” She trails off, her voice distant now, almost like she’s pulling herself back from some memory she didn’t want to revisit. “We don’t talk much anymore. But we’re… related.”
I blink, the air suddenly feeling too thick. This is the moment that could shed light on everything I’ve been wondering about Nick.
But I don’t know how to process what’s unfolding.
The silence stretches between us, and I don’t know how to break it.
Finally, she gestures toward a small seating area in the back of the store. “Would you like some tea? I think we both could use something calming.”
I don’t need to think twice. “I’d love that.”
She leads the way through the maze of bookshelves, and I follow her, suddenly struck by how strange it feels to be in the presence of someone who knows Nick so intimately, yet remains a mystery to me.
We settle at a small wooden table in the back, the scent of tea leaves mixing with the musty, earthy scent of old books. The quiet in here is almost sacred.
As she pours the tea, I can’t help but notice how steady she is, how composed. It’s not an act. She’s simply at peace with herself, even in the face of something as intense as what she’s about to share.
“I’m Evelyn,” she says softly, offering me a cup, her gaze searching mine.
“Sara. Me and Nick are…” I don’t know how to say it, but I rub my belly.
I see her freeze. Just for a split second, everything changes.
Her eyes narrow slightly, studying my belly, and the calm, collected composure she’s had up until now shatters.
Her breath catches, and there’s a flash of something—surprise, maybe even concern—before she forces herself to steady.
She takes a deep breath and sets the teapot down, her fingers lingering just slightly on the handle.
“You’re… you’re pregnant?” she asks, the words almost soft, like she’s not sure she wants to confirm it.
I nod slowly, watching her carefully. “Yeah. It’s… Nick’s.”
My voice falters, unsure whether she’ll react with anger or something else. But I have to say it. I need her to know this is real.
Evelyn’s eyes widen just enough for me to see the shift. The veil of distance she had carefully put between us slips for a moment.
She’s not just looking at me anymore; she’s looking at something far deeper. Her fingers twitch at the edge of her cup and she inhales sharply, as if the air’s been knocked out of her.
For the first time since I walked in, I see the weight of the moment settle on her. She’s reacting to what it means. For Nick, for me, for all of them.
“Nick… is serious, then,” she murmurs, more to herself than to me.
Her eyes drift down to my belly again, and the softness in her expression gives way to something else. Something like recognition.
“I didn’t think he’d ever let anyone get this close. Especially not after… everything.”
I don’t know if I’m supposed to ask what she means by everything, but I say nothing, choosing instead to let her guide the conversation.
She looks at me again, her gaze softening, almost in awe.
“He doesn’t let people in, Sara. Not the way he’s letting you in. And this…” She gestures toward my stomach. “This is huge.”
I swallow, a lump forming in my throat. I’m not sure what to say, so I stay quiet, hoping she’ll offer more.
And she does.
After a pause, Evelyn sets her cup on the table with a soft clink. She looks at me, her expression more open now, but still tinged with urgency.
“You’re serious about him, too, aren’t you?”
I don’t even hesitate. “Yeah. I am.”
She nods slowly, as if absorbing that, her eyes still locked on mine.
“I can see that,” she says quietly. Then, with a shake of her head, she exhales and seems to relax, her posture softening. “I didn’t expect… this. But if Nick’s serious about you… then I guess I should be, too. I’m his sister.”
Sister?
Now it’s my turn to stare in shock. Why didn’t I know this?
I swallow, taking the cup from her hands, but I don’t drink just yet. “He hasn’t really mentioned you…”
Evelyn studies me for a moment before nodding, as if she understands exactly what I mean, exactly what’s left unsaid. “That sounds about right.”
She takes a slow sip from her own cup before setting it down, her fingers brushing lightly against the porcelain. Her eyes drop to her hands for a brief second before meeting mine again.
“There was a time… a long time ago… when Nick tried to help me.” Her words are heavy with the weight of something old, something she’s lived with for years.
“I had a breakdown. Severe anxiety. Depression. The kind of darkness that doesn’t just go away with time.
And he was the only one who showed up. The only one who didn’t treat me like a problem to be fixed. ”
My chest tightens as I watch her, the layers of emotion flickering behind her eyes. It’s clear this isn’t an easy thing for her to talk about.
“I’m sorry,” I murmur, unsure of how to say anything more without making it worse.
But Evelyn simply shakes her head, a faint smile tugging at her lips.
“Don’t be. He was there when I needed him, and for a long time, I thought that was enough. But then the press started… the attention, the pressure, the Ashford name? It all became suffocating. I didn’t have a choice but to escape it. Staying would have broken me.”
She pauses, her eyes clouding for a moment as she stares into the distance. She’s pulled herself back to that time, reliving something that still feels raw.
“Nick begged me to stay,” she explains. “But I couldn’t. I couldn’t be part of that world anymore, not in the way they wanted me to be. I had to leave. For my peace. For my sanity. I mean, he was so well known in the business world, and it was just too much.”
I don’t know how to respond. Part of me wants to comfort her, to reassure her that she made the right choice, but I don’t.
Instead, I just sit there, holding my cup of tea, listening as Evelyn continues.
“So Nick did the only thing he could,” she continues.
“He basically did everything he could to erase any mention of me. To help me, Nick hired the best digital lawyers money can buy.” She pauses, her gaze steady on me, before she adds, “To make sure no one could find anything about me. He erased all traces. My name… gone. My life? Inaccessible.”
“Wow, that’s…”
“I know.” She smiles. “But I haven’t really spoken to Nick since I left,” she adds, her eyes now focused on the tea in front of her as if it holds all the answers she’s ever needed.
“Or to anyone. I’ve kept to myself. I had to protect my peace, Sara.
You don’t understand it until you’re on the other side of it, but peace is a fragile thing.
And once you lose it, you have to fight to get it back. ”
I swallow hard, feeling the sharp sting of her words. I can’t imagine what that must have felt like for her, living in the shadow of her family while suffering.
“I think Nick’s always carried that guilt,” she adds, her voice gentle now. “That he couldn’t save me. But he never could have. Not from that.”
I set my tea down, my hands trembling slightly. “He never told me any of this.”
Evelyn meets my eyes, her gaze steady. “He wouldn’t. He doesn’t share his burden. But maybe you should know, Sara… Nick Ashford has a history of carrying other people’s weight. He always has.”
I nod, processing her words, feeling like the door to Nick’s past is slowly creaking open.
“So… you and Nick?”
She has a cheeky little twinkle in her eyes, which warms me to her.
“We… met once on a night out. I wasn’t expecting it to lead anywhere, but then he became my boss. Things… got complicated after that.”
She raises an eyebrow, and I can see the understanding in her eyes.
“You don’t have to explain. I know how these things go.
” She sips her tea again, her fingers wrapped around the warm cup as she looks at me with a knowing expression.
“With Nick… it’s complicated. The press, the expectations, the spotlight…
it makes everything harder. Especially when it’s personal. ”
I nod, a weight settling in my chest. “Exactly. I never thought it’d go this far. But here we are.”
Again I press my hand to my belly, thinking about everything still to come.
Evelyn looks at me for a long moment, then her eyes soften. “You’re lucky, then.”
I blink, unsure of what she means. “Lucky?”
She nods slowly, setting her tea down and folding her hands in front of her.
“Nick is loyal. When he cares about someone, he’ll do anything to protect them.
He’s always been that way, even when it meant sacrificing himself.
I’ve seen him do it for people who weren’t worth it…
but he never complained. He just kept going. ”
The way she says it, with such certainty, makes my heart ache a little. I didn’t realize how much of Nick’s past was tied to this. To her. To everything that shaped him into who he is today.
“But it’s not easy for him,” Evelyn adds. “There’s a part of him that’s always trying to control everything, because when he can’t, the world around him falls apart. And people… people get hurt.”
I nod slowly, my thoughts drifting to the man I know. The one who always seems so certain, so put together, yet still haunted by things he hasn’t told me. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to understand him fully.
Eventually, as the conversation winds down, Evelyn reaches over to a small desk in the corner of the room and grabs a Post-it note. She writes something quickly, then hands it to me, her expression both serene and a little sad.
“Here,” she says, pushing the note toward me. “If you ever need to talk.”
I glance down at the number on the paper.
For a moment, I just stare at it, my mind racing. This whole conversation has left me with more questions than answers, but something tells me that Evelyn is right: Nick has been carrying this weight for so long, and maybe it’s time for him to unload it.
But how do I even begin to bring this up with him? How do I tell him I’ve spoken to his sister, the woman from the photo, the one he’s kept hidden away in this corner of his life?
“Thank you,” I add, looking back at Evelyn. “For sharing all this. I can’t imagine how difficult it’s been, but I’m glad I know. For Nick’s sake, and for mine.”
She gives me a small nod, a flicker of understanding passing between us.
“I just want him to find peace,” she says quietly. “And for you, too. I know how this life can weigh on a person.”
“I think… I think we’re both just trying to figure it out,” I reply softly.
Evelyn smiles, but it’s bittersweet. She stands up slowly, as if the conversation has drained her more than I realize.
“I’ll leave you to think,” she says. “But remember, peace is something you can only find when you stop running from it. You have to allow it to settle in.”