56. Chapter 54
Derek
I hit the light switch in my hall bathroom and head back toward where the others are, all of us still recovering from Emery’s live performance.
Not just in her bedroom but also how she angled the laptop in the bathroom so we could watch her shower, watch as she soaped herself up, her fingers and hands trailing around flesh that we haven’t touched in weeks.
If I hadn’t come during her bedroom show, I definitely would have from her shower. I didn’t even realize my hand was on my cock until Emery’s moans turned to pleas for more and I’d been forced to type one handed.
Fuck.
If she ever allows us a place in her life again, this is definitely going to be something we continue doing, especially on the nights we are separated.
I pause in front of the TV and stare at my baby’s beautiful sleeping face.
She left the live running, like the other night.
There is just enough light to make out her features.
To tell that her full bottom lip has parted from the top, to see the way her cheek presses into her hand, forming a crease by her eye.
Her lashes create dark crescent moons below her eyes, and that little detail causes a pulse of the longing that sits just beneath my skin.
My entire soul aches for her. My arms yearn to wrap around her, to hold her against me, to trace every single detail of her with my fingertips.
To hear her laugh. To listen to her tell me about her day.
To see her artwork. To help her with her studies.
To watch as she consumes a meal I made for her.
To care for her with every fiber of my being.
Swallowing, I turn away from the screen and spot Hudson over by the wet bar getting refills for everyone. I glance over my shoulder to see Darcy and Xavier resetting the poker table, not that much needs to happen. We hadn’t even managed to get the blinds out for the first hand.
“You doing okay?” Hudson asks as I feel a sense of déjà vu in reverse, him handing me drinks to carry over to the poker table this time.
“Yeah, mostly. As amazing as that was, I would have much preferred for it to have been in person. Even if I was relegated to the corner of the room with a touch-ban in place, she wanted to be watched. And I can’t help but think that she has gotten the taste for it from me.”
I would even take one final conversation, where I can hear her tell me it’s over without everyone’s emotions so thick in the air they suffocate the five of us.
She was correct to use her safe word in that moment; her fight-or-flight was activated.
She needed escape, immediately. We’d spent an entire weekend drumming that knowledge into her.
Say red and it’s over. Everything stops.
And like the good girl I know she is, she’d taken that lesson to heart and used it when she needed it. She ended things the only way she knew how. And deep down, a very large part of me is so incredibly proud of her.
But I don’t say that out loud. We are all operating under the hope that, if we keep showing up, if we keep supporting her, if we let her know we are ready and waiting for whatever she needs from us, she’ll eventually give us the opportunity to explain and be with her again.
Or she will cut us free.
But until then, we will continue being here for her, waiting until she is ready to open the door for us again.
“She just needs time,” Hudson offers as we put the drinks on the table and take our seats once more. He glances at his darkened phone on the table, and I know he wants to open the second photo that Emery sent him—a picture of the purple cock, wet with her cum, the tip still inside of her.
Darcy hands me the deck of cards. “What are we going to do if she doesn’t come back to us?”
I start shuffling, the response I know I need to give lodged tightly in my throat. I don’t want to put the words out there, but I know I must. “Then we need to let her go. We let her live her life on her terms, and maybe, one day, she’ll seek us out again.”
Silence falls around the table, the heaviness of my words settling on each of our shoulders. It’s a fact we all know, as much as we don’t want to accept it. It’s something we have yet to say out loud, but our girl is going strong after almost two weeks of limited contact.
Emery’s resolve may be greater than our desire to win her back, which is no small amount.
I deal out the first hand, not paying attention to the actual play and regularly watching the screen as Emery continues to sleep. Several hands go by, my stack of chips going up and down like a yo-yo, but my mind is stuck on a merry-go-round full of memories of Emery.
That first night in the hotel when she had turned around with her beautiful smile as we first entered the room.
The snarky little spitfire in the aftermath on the couch.
The unsure princess in the apartment the next morning, when she found all four of us waiting for her in the kitchen.
The overwhelmed little miss after her first shopping spree with us.
The disbelief that we wanted to keep her for an additional six months.
And then her heartbreak and fear behind the coffee shop. I grit my teeth at this particular memory. just like every other time it has shoved itself to the front of my consciousness.
The naughty little tease in my classroom.
And the brat. Oh, that fucking little brat. I want that brat like I want my next breath. Simply remembering her realization that she had pushed a little too far and gotten herself into hot water, fuck, I could relieve that memory until my dying breath.
But then her internal destruction as our eyes made contact from across the club. How the rest of the space faded away, and the only thing I’d been able to see was her. My baby girl as she crumbled right before my eyes.
And the elevator. I can barely force myself to think about her tear-filled eyes or the rage that had burned within them.
The memories repeat over and over, like a form of self-flagellation, tearing away pieces of me with every loop.
It’s not until I raise my glass to my lips for another drink and find it empty that my attention returns to the room.
“Refill?” I offer the table, noting that Darcy and Xavier have gotten into a serious hand.
Hudson nods and offers me his empty bottle, his other hand wrapped around the deck while he waits for whoever is considering their next move to actually make it.
I eye Xavier’s glass and see it has barely been touched. Checking Darcy’s drink situation, I find it also requires a refill. Leaving them to the hand, I step away, glancing at a sleeping Emery as I head over to the bar.
“Call,” Darcy states, then both he and Xavier are standing as they wait for Hudson to deal out the final card.
I pause from getting the bottles of beer from the bar and watch as the hand plays out, unsure on the actual cards, but when they both flip their cards over and Darcy straightens and mutters, “No hearts,” I figure Xavier is chasing a flush.
“Nine spades,” Hudson proclaims as he flips the river over.
Darcy sags with relief, then holds out his hand to Xavier, who takes it without a word.
Xavier passes me as I head back to the table with the three drinks. “Bathroom.”
I hand out the drinks before adjusting my seat so that I don’t have such an easy view of Emery, determined to pay attention to the rest of the game. There is a prize on the line, after all.
More than a few hands later, I glance over my shoulder, expecting to see Xavier on the couch, but he isn’t there. Turning back to Hudson and Darcy, I raise an eyebrow at them. “Where’s Xavier?”
They both glance at each other and then around what they can see of my living room.
“He was just here,” Hudson says, eyebrows pulling together.
“Did he come back from the bathroom?” I ask as I stand, prepared to go look for him.
“I didn’t even know he went to the bathroom,” Darcy states, but then his eyes widen as he looks at something behind me. “What the f—”
I spin around and watch as the feed of Emery is jostled around, the camera pointing at the wall for a few seconds before it's turned around and Xavier’s fucking face appears on the screen, a huge smile on his smug face.
He waves at us in the most condescending way, then closes the laptop, effectively ending the live.
“Did he just…?” Hudson starts to ask in disbelief.
I face them and fall back down into my seat with a sigh. “Fucking Xavier.”