89. Chapter 87
Emery
“Wow,” Oakley mutters as we take our seats.
Will left two tickets under my name at the box office, and we picked them up on our way in. We’re directly behind some glass that surrounds two boxes with bench seats, right in the center of everything. There is noise everywhere, and it seems even louder than it should be for such a large space.
“Right?” I reply as I put my backpack on the floor by our feet and then proceed to stare at all the people wearing aqua, black, and gold. “Did we know that the ice hockey team has this many fans?”
Oakley shakes her head. “Nope, hockey is so not my thing.”
“Not even for Vinnie?” I ask, shooting her a grin.
She gives me a flat look. “Definitely not for him.”
“So, you guys didn’t hook up at the party after I left?”
“No,” she says with a head shake. “I actually don’t even remember seeing him at the party. I ended up hanging out with a few of the girls from my poli-sci class.”
I raise an eyebrow at her. “Interesting. I would have bet good money you had him hiding in your room the morning after.”
“Urgh, don’t even remind me about the next day. I’m never drinking that much again.” Her face has gone slightly pale at the memory. “Those pink bubbly drinks didn’t even taste like alcohol.”
I nodded in agreement; those things had been dangerous.
The arena is all but full, and there has to be several thousand people here.
I had no idea college sports were such a big thing.
While there is an entire section off to the side filled with people wearing red and white, it’s basically solidly black and aqua, with a pop of gold in spots.
There is even a huge section of people with their faces painted in the Warriors’ colors.
I don’t think I have ever been that passionate about anything in my life.
“Ems, are you sure you want to be here?” Oakley asks and I turn to face her.
Before I can confirm that, yes, I want to go on a date with Will, she holds up her hand, stopping me from answering.
“I know you’ve said you want to do this, but babes, you don’t seem as excited as you should be for a girl going on a first date with a boy she likes.
” The concern on her face causes my insides to squirm.
“I’m not saying you should ditch the hockey for the apartment, but you are far more animated when you talk about your…
the others than when you talk about Will, even if it’s just to yell about how arrogant they are.
It’s kind of like he is plain white bread and they are chicken Alfredo. ”
I huff out a laugh and turn away from her to stare out at the ice. “Will is not plain white bread. I don’t know him well enough to know if he is yummy yet. That’s the whole point of the date.”
The only reason I know Derek, Hudson, Darcy, and Xavier are yummy is because we did everything in reverse.
I highly doubt I would have been interested in them the way I am if the first time I met them was as my professors.
They probably would have seemed like boring old guys with their blazers and laptops.
Suddenly, the arena goes dark and music blasts through the air, the excitement of the crowd jumping up twenty levels.
Players start spilling onto the ice, skating across it like they aren’t balancing on tiny blades. The red and white team spread out on their side, but the Warriors charge across the ice straight at us, then follow the edge of the rink, tapping their bat thingies against the glass.
A flash of blue eyes catches mine for a second, and I grin as Will goes past.
“I’m going to go get snacks before the game starts, do you want anything?” Oakley practically yells into my ear.
I shake my head, eyes glued to the ice as I try to follow Will around on the ice.
“Can you pass me my wallet?”
Reaching down to my backpack, I open the top zipper and search around inside for her things that she dropped in there just before we left. Once I find it, I pull it out and offer it to her. She shoots me a smile and then flounces off to find food.
When I turn back to the ice, I can’t stop the grin when I see Will and Vinnie watching me right up against the ice. I wave at them and they grin back. With their hockey gear on, they look twice their normal size, and I must admit, the alpha male athlete vibe is a thing.
Vinnie points at the direction Oakley disappeared to, and I mime eating food and he waggles his eyebrows at me.
I laugh and shake my head. After what she said about the morning after the party, I know he has absolutely no chance with her, but it’s always fun to watch her shoot him down.
They both glance over their shoulders and nod before shoving away from the edge of the ice.
Will turns back one more time and waves. I wave back, my heart a little giddy at the attention as he skates back to his team, all of them doing stretches on the ice. There are definitely a few eyes staring at me, but I concentrate on the players, not giving anything away to the crowd.
With freezing cold fingers, I reach down for my bag again and search through it, looking for the mittens that match my light purple beanie that Hudson bought me. I knew it was going to be cold in here—hello, massive court of ice—but I didn’t think it would be this cold.
My fingers brush over something firm but crinkly that definitely wasn’t there when I packed my bag, and I frown. I find the edge of it and pull it out.
A yellow envelope.
My heart starts beating erratically, the sound of it so loud in my ears that I can barely hear the arena anymore.
This is their letter. The one Derek gave me at the hospital.
The one he told me to read when I was ready.
The one that I haven’t seen lying around in my room in ages.
How the hell did it get into my bag? I emptied everything out of it so we could fit our things in it tonight.
Only Oakley and I had access to my bag, it doesn’t make…
Oakley. She must have put it in here when she added her things. But why? How does she even know about the letter? Did Derek put her up to this?
My breathing feels fast and heavy somehow, like I’m breathing too quickly, but also, getting enough air. Tingles flow outward from my chest down into my arms.
I’d been ignoring the letter. I didn’t want to read it before. I didn’t want to know what their sorry excuses were.
Nothing they could say would make up for the way they left me feeling for weeks.
But…
But I think, maybe, I do want to read it now? If I want more information on whether Will and I are compatible in a sexy kind of way, then maybe having more information about their thoughts and feelings is something I should have too?
Flipping over the envelope, I slide my finger under the flap and slowly run it along the seal, breaking it. With hands that tremble from nerves and not the cold, I pull out the folded sheet of paper, absolutely positive that my heart is going to beat right out of my chest.
Holy fuck.
It’s only words. Words I can ignore if I want to.
Just because I read this does not mean that I have to do anything with the information.
Breathing deeply through my nose, I unfold the paper and force my eyes to read each and every single word, and not skip ahead.
Oh god, I think I might throw up.
Emery,
I am so unbelievably sorry. We all are. Well, Xavier is sorry for bare minimally supporting the plan we came up with, but he never, not once, claimed to not want to keep you forever, regardless of the consequences. I think you might be stuck with him for life.
You will never know how much regret I have for those three weeks after our weekend together. Staying away from you was torture, but I thought I was doing the right thing for all of us. I thought I was protecting you. I know now that I messed up by not trusting in you.
Not trusting that you hadn’t lied to us.
Not trusting that you couldn’t support the plan.
Walking away from you behind the cafe will forever be a scar on my soul.
I hope that by the time you are reading this letter, you are ready to forgive me for the hurt that I have caused you, because, baby girl, I am sorry.
More sorry than I will ever be able to express in words.
If you can find it in you to forgive a man who is used to controlling every aspect of his life, I promise to spend the rest of said life making it up to you.
I think you might possibly be the love of my life. No, I know you are. And I know the others feel the same. I fantasize about buying a big house for all five of us, with an art studio for you and Darcy, an office for me and Hudson, and whatever space Xavier needs.
The five of us figuring out life together.
As much as this letter is physical evidence of my apology to you, the others have read it and have approved the message.
We are sorry for everything. For promising you more and then abandoning you.
For promising to hear you out and then ignoring you.
For promising stability and then ripping it away.
We have no excuses and we own our actions. If we could go back in time, we would. We’d erase everything that came after hearing your name called out in the coffee shop. Well, maybe not everything. We did enjoy all of your bratting.
You waited for us, every Friday night and into the weekend. You turned up for us, you fought for us. So, that is our plan. We are going to wait for you. We are going to turn up, every single day. We will be here. Waiting at the apartment. Waiting to support you. Waiting. Always.
We won’t fail you again, baby.
Forever yours,
Derek.
The seat beside me fills with a body, and I turn to Oakley, tears streaming down my cheeks.
“Okay, I know you said—Ems, what happened? Oh…” Her worried eyes drop to the letter and come back up to mine, teeth biting into her lower lip. “You found it.”
I nod, throat so thick with emotion that I know any noise I try to make will sound like a walrus.
“Are you okay? Should I not have done it? I just didn’t want you to go into your date with Will without all the facts.” Her lower lip trembles a little and her eyes go glassy. “Please don’t be mad.”
I shake my head and throw my arms around her, squashing a bucket of popcorn between us. She wraps her arms around me and hugs me back, making a soothing noise close to my ear.
I pull back and grab her face with both hands, squishing her cheeks together a little. “Thank you.”
My words are watery, but I don’t give a fuck.
Her words are just as watery. “You’re welcome.”
“They really want me, Oakley,” I whisper in shock. “Like, really, really. They waited. For me.”
She nods, grinning. “They are waiting right now too.”
My heart sinks into my ass.
I shoot up to standing. “Oh shit, they’re waiting for me, and they know I’m here. I have to go.”
I look around wildly, trying to figure out what my next move is, but my brain has gone blank.
Oakley yanks me back down to sitting with a laugh. “Breathe, Ems. Let’s close up your bag, then you can get a ride out front and go straight to them.”
Nodding, I quickly fold my letter and gently put it back in the envelope, then zip up my bag and put it on my shoulder.
I pause when Oakley doesn’t stand with me and frown down at her. “Are you coming?”
She shakes her head, still grinning. “Nope. I’m going to stay and see what this hockey thing is all about.”
Nodding, but already having lost interest and just really wanting to get to my daddies, I start shuffling my way past all the people sitting in our row.
It’s not until I’m most of the way up the stairs that I remember Will. Glancing back at the ice, I watch as the players disappear through a corridor that runs under the opposite staircase just as a massive truck thing comes out of a door and the crowd goes wild for it.
And then it hits me—I don’t need to kiss Will to find out what I want.
I already know.