32. Colin
Colin
God, she’s annoying.
Why are her eyes closed? Why does she look like she’s giving up when she should be scrambling for that knife in the middle of the floor?
I’d expected to come in here and see Lucy already taken care of, see her lifeless body and hear Chloe’s sweet voice chalking it up to some sort of accident, though it wouldn’t have mattered.
At this point, Chloe could have killed Lucy in self-defense, and she’d have gotten away with murder once again.
But no, she’s sitting there with her eyes shut, waves of blonde hair falling from her messy bun, with the most irritating look of bliss on her face, like she’s accepted her fate. Like she’s prepared to die here.
Well, I’m not prepared for that. I never will be.
I stay concealed in my position a moment longer as I come up with a plan. Lucy rambles on at Chloe about how she’s messed everything up. How she had to make the trip down here for a blonde little bimbo who couldn’t keep her nose in her own business.
But that blonde little bimbo was sharper and quicker than Lucy’s men were. And that blonde little bimbo is mine.
Chloe sits on the ground basically underneath a metal lift gate that looks like it’s about to collapse, and if that doesn’t jolt to life a tornado of anxiety in my chest, then the gun pointed in her direction sure does.
But the detail of the lift gate gives me an idea; awakens an opportunity inside me I don’t know I would have considered had I never grown to know Chloe so deeply.
Stepping out of the shadows, I raise my gun in Lucy’s direction, and Chloe’s eyes ping open when she hears movement at her side.
“Put the gun down,” I tell Lucy, who looks just as surprised to see me. Her hand briefly loosens around the gun before she tightens her grip and keeps it pointed at Chloe.
“Detective Mills,” she sings, a sick smile stretching across her face. “Another helpless victim in the Baby Widow’s web.” Her lips turn down into a frown. “Such a shame. She has so many people in that damn department wrapped around her sick little finger.”
“Colin, get out of here,” Chloe whispers from the ground beside me. “Please.” I glance at her and see the fear glowing in her eyes. She wasn’t afraid to lose her life, but she’s afraid I’ll lose mine.
“Shut up, Stark.” I’m not going anywhere.
I step in front of her, directly into the line of Lucy’s barrel. I should shoot her.
I should pull the trigger and kill Lucy, because I know it will be considered justified. Couple of weeks ago, had I found myself in this position, I would have. But Chloe needs to know this isn’t just about saving her. This isn’t about doing the right thing.
This is about proving to her that I am a little bit dark, like she is, and that we still have light. She needs to know that I see her.
As quickly as I can, I lower my gun and slam my hand into the release of the lift gate, dropping my body to the ground and rolling Chloe and I underneath the trailer.
It’s one of the biggest risks of my life, but so is loving her. And I plan to do that, too.
There was a slim chance that the gate was so old, it was rusted in place.
Relief rushes through me when that isn’t the case.
The metal gate slams against the floor, and the deafening sound of logs avalanching off the truck rumbles around us, vibrating the trailer and—hopefully—barreling into Lucy’s body across the room.
Eyes wide in surprise and delight, Chloe stares up at me, her fingertips squeezing my sides.
Her body is so warm underneath mine, even though I can feel the chill of her hands through the fabric of my shirt.
And those red lips of hers, so perfect and full.
They part when my gaze moves to them as the rolling logs come to a slow above us.
I crush my lips to hers, smoothing my tongue past the seam and into her warm mouth. Her tongue swirls around mine, her hands moving up my body and curling into my hair, and fuck, I could pull my dick out and fuck her right here.
Instead, I pull away from our kiss, and we’re both breathless, her golden eyes sparkling, lips pulling at a smile.
“It was an accident,” she whispers, and I lower my forehead to hers, nodding.
“An accident.”
***
I’m sitting in a chair near the edge of Chloe’s hospital bed, writing up my report on the events of this afternoon.
The machine on the other side of the bed beeps a steady rhythm in the background of my typing, and every now and then a nurse or another visitor walks past the door to the room, glancing our way curiously before continuing on their way.
There’s also a tiny fucking dog curled into a ball sleeping on the couch behind me.
Metal scratch marks have scribbled out the name Brenda on its name tag, and block letters spelling the name Rue are carved next to it.
Why this dog was sleeping in Chloe’s Bug is another mystery that is Chloe Stark.
A mystery Chloe lowered her voice before telling me she’d ‘explain later.’
Something tells me I’m going to be hearing that a lot in our future.
When Alex realized Lucy was the snake in the department, Captain Barrett tried to come with us to the warehouse Barry said he’d followed Chloe to, but I demanded he stay behind.
I was still pissed at him, and what better punishment for him—and prize for me—than forcing him to dig into his colossal mistake of hiring a detective who had faked all her prior department employment records and accolades.
And who knew that woman who seemed like an innocent rookie was actually the oldest of four siblings who were running a trafficking ring.
When I realized she’d likely set her sights on Chloe for throwing wrenches into her carefully crafted network, I made it to that old mill in record time.
I’d been to that warehouse before. My father worked there when I was in high school, when the mill was still active and running. It’s been out of commission for over ten years, almost as long as he’s been out of commission of his role as my father.
I wanted to go in there alone because I had no idea what we’d be walking in to.
I didn’t want Alex to see anything that would incriminate Chloe.
She could have killed Lucy in self-defense, but knowing her, she probably would have gone a bit overboard, made it look so far beyond self-defense that there’d be no talking our way out of it.
I sent Alex around the long way; told him we’d sweep our respective sides and meet in the middle. Micah had already texted and said the doors on the west side of the building had been lodged closed. I didn’t have the time or capacity to wonder how or why he knew that.
But because of that information, I knew it would take Alex extra long to make it inside—and it turns out, I’d needed every last second of that time.
Alex came through my side of the building just as I rolled Chloe under the trailer.
When we finally climbed out, the three of us navigated the uneven landscape of logs toward Lucy’s arm that was sticking straight out between two giant pieces of tree.
“That lift gate gave away,” I told Alex, staring down at the black nail polish on Lucy’s broken fingernails.
I saw Alex shrug out of the corner of my eye, and his voice was casual when he said, “Yeah, well, I’m sure she deserved it.
” And then he lifted his head to meet my eyes, clapping a hand onto my shoulder.
“That lift gate saved your lives, man.” We held each other’s stares, and then he let out a laugh and turned away, lifting his arms at his sides to steady himself as he walked back across the pile of logs.
Chloe had been bitching when the paramedics rolled her into the hospital, whining about how she didn’t have to come to the hospital last time and the punch from Max was even worse.
But the doctor was worried about the multiple head injuries she’d taken in the last few weeks, and wanted to keep her for at least a few hours for observation.
I lowered my voice as I told the nurse Chloe had a very high tolerance for pain meds, and because she seemed annoyed with Chloe’s incessant griping since we’d gotten settled in her room, the nurse gave me a knowing look.
I’m pretty sure she gave her at least half an extra dose of medication to knock her the fuck out.
Finished with my report, I close the lid to my laptop and set it on the couch behind me, shifting my focus to the woman I’d thought was so incredibly complicated and dangerous for so long.
As I allow myself a moment to take her in completely in this new light, I realize she’s not complicated at all. Nor is she dangerous.
She’s committed. She’s dedicated to protecting the people she loves.
She devotes her entire life to protecting people who may not yet be strong enough to protect themselves, because she knows what that feels like.
And she knows that given the chance, those people may learn how to grow into someone they can be proud of.
Someone who is both hardened and softened by their experiences.
Someone who feels every emotion—anger, sadness, glee—just as strongly as the next.
Just like her.
Chloe Stark isn’t complicated. She never has been. I was just too afraid to peel all her layers back because I knew my own layers would be revealed in the process, and that was something I’d never felt ready to face.
Chloe just wanted to be loved, and I just wanted to love her.
My captain was right; law enforcement is complex work.
It’s hard. It’s incredibly frustrating, especially when the bad guy gets away.
When we walk away from the domestic violence shelter without any firm resolution for the families who depend on us to provide them with one.
When the confines of the laws and codes that guide our work turn suffocating, and our hands are tied, and the people who need our protection don’t get it.
The process of coming to terms with having a badge and not exactly being all that virtuous has started for me.
Chloe and I, we both make the world a little bit safer in our own ways. And together, I really don’t see how we don’t conquer the world entirely.
Movement near the entrance to her room steals my attention, and I look up to see Captain Barrett quietly closing the door behind him, moving slowly in the direction of Chloe’s bed and staring down at her quiet, sleeping form.
“She’s not like this very often,” I joke, watching her.
“No,” he says quietly, letting a light laugh out. “She’s not.”
Silence engulfs the room as we stare at her. As we figure out how to navigate our own relationship with each other, as boss and subordinate, as Chloe’s partners in her chaotic crime sprees.
“I was so young,” he eventually says, his voice tight. “I wasn’t ready to be a father.”
I continue staring at her as he hesitates to go on, and I wonder who she’d be today if he’d never left.
Clearing his throat, he slips his hand into hers and she stirs at the touch, but doesn’t wake.
“My own mother, when she found out Caroline was pregnant, she moved us away. She thought if we didn’t have to face it every day, then it would be like it didn’t exist. But I came back eventually, I had to.
” His thumb moves aimlessly over the back of Chloe’s hand.
“When it was just the two of them, they were thriving. So I just watched from afar. I didn’t want to disturb what they were building together.
Caroline was successful, Chloe was happy…
“When her mother called after the first one. When she told me what that man had been doing to them. To her…” His voice cracks, but he hardens it, clearing his throat again and standing straighter.
“I thanked whatever God may be above that Chloe hadn’t taken a knife to the man’s throat.
That it ended up looking like a terrible accident. ”
Captain Barrett’s eyes grow dark as he turns to me and admits, “I am the one who told Caroline to say it was an accident. To say neither of them had been in the backyard when he fell. It was the least I could do after not being there for them. It was my fault they’d ended up there to begin with.
And a few years later when the next rotten man came along, she made that one look like an accident, too. ”
“Captain—”
“Just listen, Colin,” he begs, so I do. “I couldn’t stop it.
I’d rather those men be dead than continue to harm my girls.
Chloe was doing what she had to do, and I don’t fault her for it.
I did what I could when the ME pulled that third report, but my hands were tied.
Other people were noticing. Caroline and I, we made the decision that she’d take the fall for it until we could figure a way out for the both of them. ”
I nod in understanding. I don’t have children.
I don’t have a family that I left behind.
I don’t know what I would have done if I’d been in the same situation.
A leader in law enforcement with the capabilities of shifting investigations to protect my child.
The child I thought I owed something to.
A child I thought would have been safe had I made the brave but scary decision to stay.
I might have done the exact same thing as he did.
Hell, I basically am, but with the woman I love.
Pulling his hand from hers, Captain Barrett straightens again, clears his throat for the final time, and pulls his hand away from Chloe’s body, halting any tears that had been threatening to form.
“I’m sorry that you were impacted by my actions. Hurting you was never my intention, Colin. I…I love you. We’ve been working together for a long time. You’re sharp, you’re an incredible cop, and I’m so proud of you. I’m sorry that I never said that. I’m sorry you thought I never believed in you.”
I shake my head, attempting to shake my own tears away, but one burns a hot, wet path down my cheek.
It’s been a long time since someone has told me they’re proud of me, and I didn’t realize how badly I wanted to hear it.
How badly I needed to hear that I wasn’t out of my mind, that I was on the right track.
Captain Barrett extends his hand in my direction, and I stand, clapping mine into his.
“She’s not a bad person,” I tell him. “And neither are you.”