7. Sebastian
7
SEBASTIAN
“ S ebastian?” my mate whispers, eyeing me warily. Her baby blue eyes are focused on me, an almost curious quality about them. But I can also smell the anger and exhaustion that’s entwined with her scent. The anger makes the usually sweet vanilla smell burnt, and her exhaustion dilutes the fizzy orange so I only get the occasional whiffs of it.
Her dark hair is pulled up onto the top of her head, a sort of messiness to it, with loose curls framing her face. I want to unleash it and run my hands through the silkiness, touching her in all of the ways my wolf and I crave.
She’s so beautiful, so fucking mine.
Her scent makes my mouth water—it makes my dick throb in fucking anticipation. The sparks between us are electrifying, and I’m tempted to spend all of my time holding onto her to nourish the connection between us.
I need her. I need her more than I need air to breathe, food to eat.
I never realised how bleak my life was before she entered it.
How much I was missing.
How dark everything was .
But with her here, with my mate and child in my space, in my life, in my heart , everything has changed.
“Mate,” I whisper back, a ghost of a smile on my lips.
But her face falls, her eyebrows furrowing, as her scent darkens once more.
She’s hesitant, and I hate to be the cause of her unease. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, and so I retreat into my mind and let Kane push forward to take over for us. He’s done it for most of our interactions thus far, even without anyone truly noticing, and I think my mate deserves to meet my wolf properly.
He loves her so inherently that I can’t deny him this moment.
“You are a kind soul,” Kane says. “Our mate will appreciate that when we raise our youngling.”
“I’m your mate, yes,” Maia says, and it’s almost like she’s placating us. I can scent her fear, and I don’t think she realised it was me acknowledging the claim, this time, and not Kane.
No harm will ever come to her from my hand—nor Kane’s. It goes against every instinct inside of us.
A mate is to be loved. Cherished. Desired. Protected.
And my mate? She’ll learn that nobody loves harder than Sebastian Wolfe.
“She will learn to love us both,” Kane reassures me, and his firm belief is hard to ignore. “Mate is strong. Mate is kind. Mate will love you. Love us all.”
He has confidence where I do not. Even if she doesn’t love me, even if she can’t, I’ll never venture far away. I’ll wait in the shadows, watching, loving, supporting. I’ll be her guardian angel, her unwavering protector, as I do whatever is necessary to give her the life she deserves.
Even if that life doesn’t include me—especially then.
“Mate does not believe she is ours,” Kane says as we step closer to her. He’s reassuring my fears and reassuring Maia at the same time. “But we will prove it to, mate. Over, and over, and over.”
A blush coats her cheeks, and she bites down on those plump, rosy lips of hers. She’s so fucking alluring right now—beautiful and sexy, all wrapped up in one delicate package. Maia releases her lip, and her head is tucked downwards. She can’t meet my eyes, which is the cutest thing.
She’s embarrassed.
“She’s adorable,” Kane coos, holding in the urge to reach out and touch her. He’s desperate to claim her as his own, but he knows she’s not ready.
Unlike my brothers’ wolves, Kane never needs corralling from me. He never needs to be lectured or restrained. He’s glorious, and we’re the best team that could ever exist.
He understands Maia isn’t ready for our mark, to accept that we’re mates. He even understands that she’s not ready for casual touches.
We can wait. We’ll bond with her, we’ll let her learn to trust us.
We’ll wait. No matter how long it takes.
But we won’t ever let her doubt her worth.
“I’m not sure how to reply to that,” she says with a very soft tone of voice. “Can you do me a favour?”
My heart races, and I feel myself nodding. I’m rewarded with her beautiful smile, the genuine way her baby blue eyes light up, and she hesitantly offers me our sleeping angel.
“Could you hold her? I’m desperate for a wee, and she… she likes you.” There’s so much doubt in Maia’s tone, and I don’t know why.
Phoebe likes me?
Seriously?
“She will love you,” Kane says in as gentle a tone as he can.
I nod once more, staying silent as she gently transfers Phoebe into my arms. I didn’t realise how short she was compared to me until now, but she doesn’t even reach my shoulders.
Maia watches the way I hold Phoebe for a moment and smiles before waddling through to the bathroom.
She must be really desperate.
I tense when Phoebe’s eyes open, the icy grey stare penetrating through my soul.
I rumble quietly, letting the vibrations soothe the little girl. She doesn’t do much other than stare, and since she’s not using her wolf vision, I have no idea how much she can see. She’s already starting to utilise her connection with me, though, and is sharing her needs.
She likes the sound of these low grumbles and likes the warmth I’m offering her.
We’re going to need to turn the heating on tonight, though. As wolves, we run hotter, but she’s still only small and doesn’t give off heat as much as I or my brothers do. Like her mother, Phoebe will never want for anything.
“Talk to her,” Kane demands.
I stay silent.
What would a baby want to hear from me? What could I say to make myself worthy of the connection we share?
“Tell our little angel how precious she is. Tell her that we’ll love her and protect her, and gut any male who even thinks they’re worthy enough of being hers. Tell her of the future, of how loved she’ll be.”
My wolf pushes forward, almost reluctantly, when I freeze under the spotlight.
“Hush, little angel,” he says, and her eyes dart to ours, recognising the change in my tone.
They seem to light up—like a glow-in-the-dark nightlight—and I know her wolf recognises mine. She’s reacting the way she can—instinctually.
She’s still too young to know whether her wolf’s eye colour is going to be this bright, almost translucent, grey, but it’s a striking colour, regardless.
“You are a strong wolf. A beautiful wolf.” My wolf is doting in the ways I don’t truly know how to be.
We hear the toilet flush moments before the tap turns on, and I smile at the little girl, barely noticing when Kane retreats.
“Your mum loves you so much,” I whisper, gently tracing my finger down her cheek. “And I hope, soon, you’ll let us all love you, too.”
I bend down and brush a soft kiss over her head, making my claim known to the wolf spirit inside her.
“Was she okay?” Maia asks, coming out of the bathroom. I nod and turn so she can see the awake little girl. Maia smiles—not the dazzling one from earlier, but a more carefree one. She loves with her whole heart.
“And soon enough, that heart will be ours,” Kane says.
“Will it? Will she really love me that way?”
“Pass her here so I can feed her,” Maia says, and I frown. My mate’s twinkling laugh fills the air. “Once she’s done, I’ll let you hold her again. But, for now, she needs her mama.”
I sigh, relinquishing my hold on Phoebe, but I stay close. Maia moves over to the bed— my bed— and gets herself comfortable. At her prompting, I hand her everything she asks for, and Kane and I eagerly watch what she does so that next time, we’re ready and can provide.
“Would you like a drink? Some of that green juice that Ben made or some water?”
“Water would be nice.” Her voice breaks, and I immediately crouch down next to her so she can’t hide her beautiful eyes from me.
“What’s wrong, little love?” Kane asks. Her upset breaks me, and I can’t cope.
I can’t smell her pain and fear.
I can’t sit here and do nothing whilst she cries .
What kind of male am I ?
“A worthy one ,” my wolf replies.
“I’ve been alone since I lost Ryan,” she whispers, avoiding my gaze the best she can.
Neither Kane nor I like that she’s mourning another man, but I hate even more the way her voice trembles as she speaks. The way her scent murks, and she huddles in on herself.
But then she looks up at me and gives the most pitiful smile, and it heals a small part of my frustration. “And everything has gone to shit, and things are so different, but you’re here and helping.” She shakes her head, looking down at Phoebe again. “I don’t know what I can believe or what my future holds, but you’re caring for me.”
“You are so precious,” my wolf says.
“So precious,” I echo.
“I’m scared, Seb.” Her eyes meet mine now, and I can see the weight of her panic, feeling it drawing me in, as she flounders without a lifeboat. I need to be the support for her. “What if I’m not cut out for this? What if I’m not enough for Phoebe?”
“My brother was right—you are a blessing, Maia. You’re strong and have survived a loss so soul-destroying because you loved your daughter enough to let her future guide you,” Kane continues. “Don’t stop now. Don’t give up.”
She nods, blinking her tears away, as she steals her shoulders back. A spark appears in her eyes, and I can feel her determination through her scent changes. “I won’t.”
Strong. Steady. Prepared.
“Our girl has got this,” I say.
“Good girl,” Kane says, adding some growl to his words, deliberately, this time. Her eyes narrow, and she looks at us, her perfect lips parting as her brows raise. My palms go clammy, and I almost move away from her to avoid that look.
How can she already see me, when nobody ever has before?
“Hey!” Kane protests.
“You don’t count, and you know it. ”
“How can I tell when you are you and when you are… your wolf?” she asks. “It was very clear with Christopher. He and Orion are so different. Is that the same for you all?”
I purse my lips but know that I can’t lie to her. “No.”
“You talk to her,” I plead.
Kane would be smirking if he wasn’t such a bastard. “Don’t call me names, human. You’re the one she wants to talk to right now.”
“You’re a coward,” I taunt. “Just tell her the truth.”
“No.”
I laugh, and Maia frowns. Fuck. “Sorry.”
“What’s funny?”
I hang my head in my hands, and Kane prods me to keep talking. “I’m never letting you out again.”
“Sounds good to me. I’ll stay inside your head and let you do all the peopling. I’m bored of that life.”
Bastard .
“I’m arguing with Kane.”
“Kane is your wolf’s name?” she asks. Her pitch raises a few notches, the soft curiosity so fucking sweet.
“Yes, mate,” Kane says, pushing forward to take over my body. Fuck. I am going to regret this. “It is so nice to meet you.”
“And you.” Phoebe unlatches, and Kane licks our lips as he spots the milk dripping off her tit.
“Not for us!” I hiss along our bond.
“There’s plenty.”
“Not for us!”
He rolls his eyes, since we can both feel my desire, too, but we know it isn’t time.
Maia eventually gets Phoebe settled on her other boob, and it takes the pup a few moments to actually keep hold of the nipple, her angry little grunts as she tries to latch but couldn’t be completely adorable. I’m not sure why Maia spent time patting Phoebe’s back, but that’s something I will research. I need to prove my worth—prove we deserve to be in Phoebe’s life.
I’ve never been around babies before.
But this one is so precious.
And that’s not just because of my connection to her.
“To answer your question properly about our personalities,” Kane says, and Maia’s eyes flash with curiosity again. She’s so inquisitive. “No, it’s not the same for us all. For Seb and I, we’re a lot more closely matched than, say, Orion and Christopher. Every bond between a wolf and their human is different.”
“At first, I thought your eyes gave you away,” Maia says, looking over at us with a scrutinising look. “But then you’ve been swapping back and forth for most of this conversation, haven’t you?”
Kane snorts and nods. “Yes. Sebastian is a little shy.”
“Shy?” she echoes.
“Shy?” I hiss.
“He’s too afraid to talk to you,” Kane continues, and if I were the one in control of our human body, we’d be gaping right now. “Stage fright and all.”
Maia’s eyes soften. “That’s sweet.”
“He’s a fucking liar,” I snarl, breaking through the restraint to take over the body. Kane’s laughs echo across our bond. “I’m just naturally quiet.”
Maia frowns. “So, just there, your eyes have gone from being bright green to their hazel colouring with the green flecks. So, you’re Seb now?”
I nod, once, and then let Kane speak whilst holding eye contact.
“Seb and I swap places a lot,” Kane says, and her eyes widen. “He is shy, but he’s also very… uninterested in most people, so this means we can still have the connection we need without either one of us suffering. ”
“This is so freaky,” she whispers, hesitantly reaching out to touch me.
I lean into her hand, letting her brush against my cheek as a shiver races down my spine. Sparks fly between us both, and based on her hitched breath, I know she feels it, too. I let out a purr as the soothing connection between us flares to life. I’ve never felt something this powerful—this right.
“I didn’t see a change. I didn’t hear a change,” Maia whispers.
I shrug, not moving from her touch. “Kane is right. Humans don’t interest me. People don’t interest me. I talk, when it’s needed, to those who matter.”
“And I matter?”
“You’re the only person who does matter,” I say, turning my head to press a soft kiss to the palm of her hand. Sparks shoot across my lips, and I’ve never felt contentment like it. My eyes drop to the sleeping baby, and I grin. “Well, you and Phoebe, that is.”
“Good human.”
“Oh, fuck you,” I snap. “Telling her I was shy?”
“You are shy. I figured it was better to say than you were sociopathic.”
“We’ve been through this. I am not sociopathic,” I protest, ignoring his humour. “I just don’t like people. That’s normal.”
“We are pack animals, Seb. You’re weird,” Kane replies. “We like people. We thrive around people. You’re just missing a soul.”
“Then clearly you’re dysfunctional, too,” I say with a smirk. Maia eyes the action, but doesn’t say anything. “Because why else would you be paired with me?”
“You’re talking with him now, aren’t you?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“Can you elaborate a little more?” Maia asks softly. “If it’s hard for you, then don’t. I just… I don’t want to feel like we’re complete strangers.”
“Kane and I talk a lot.” I can give her that. I can give her anything she needs. “He’s part of me, but more than that, Kane is my best friend. We’re one, but we’re also not.”
She smiles. “Will it be like that for Phoebe?”
“Yes.”
She nods, and a contemplative expression fills her face as she looks at her daughter. There’s a peaceful aura surrounding her, a calmness that hasn’t been seen for more than a fleeting moment in the time I’ve known her. I like it.
A lot.
“Could you bring her bouncer upstairs, please?” Maia asks, breaking our calm quiet. “I want to take that offered shower and want to settle her in the bathroom with me.”
I frown and shake my head.
“No, you won’t bring it up for me, or no, I can’t shower?” Maia’s tone has turned frosty, and I know I’m treading on thin ice.
“Be honest with our mate. Tell her. Tell her the truth.”
“You can shower.” My heart fractures, and I can feel my legs quivering as they struggle to hold me up.
“Tell her!” Kane roars in my head, and I know if he were a person, he’d be shoving me forward.
“So I need to get the bouncer myself?” She phrases it like a question before shrugging. “Fine. Could you scoot over so I can get off the bed?”
I shake my head.
“Seb, I am seriously going to strangle you. Communicate. Use more than one word. Explain yourself.”
But how the fuck do I tell her that she can’t leave my sight? How do I plead with her to always be in front of me?
How do I tell the woman who is only here by an alpha command that she’s not even allowed to go shower with Phoebe without me there?
I can’t.
“For fuck’s sake,” Kane mutters .
He shoves me from the fore-consciousness and gives our mate a dazzling smile. “Please, don’t leave mate alone,” Kane pleads. “I’m sad and lonely. I will miss my mate. Will miss Phoebe.”
“You’ll miss us?” she says, sounding amused, and I know for a fine fact I couldn’t get away with this like he could.
“Miss mate.” He nods, pouting at her. “Let me watch Phoebe?”
“I’ve never… you were the first person outside me or the medical staff to hold her,” Maia reveals, and I flinch.
Fuck.
Kane’s mood drops, and I instantly push forward to take back control. He howls in my mind, rages at the injustice our baby has suffered. Maia’s none the wiser, but I am.
Kane is.
He’s broken at hearing our pup has spent the last five days in solitude.
“I was?” I ask, ignoring Kane’s silent howls.
This is the first time in over a decade that I’ve nearly lost control over him. He’s furious, and sad, and can’t process his emotions rationally. He hates that our pup, our babe, has been living without a pack.
I might hate people.
But she might not. Phoebe certainly doesn’t.
But not only that… Maia has been alone.
Maia’s had no village, no support system, no nourishment or love.
Ryan never should’ve left his family defenceless.
This never should’ve been their reality.
“Yeah. It’s hard to trust when you’ve never been given a reason to do so.” She’s watching Phoebe suckle in her sleep, and I can’t take my eyes off her. She’s so captivating.
I gently reach forward and cup her cheek, raising her eyes so she looks at me. The sparks fly, but this time, I don’t appreciate the pleasure. My eyes are hard, but my tone is gentle. “I’ll spend the rest of my life giving you a reason, little love.”
Her eyes fill with tears, but these ones, they’re acceptable. I move back, but she doesn’t seem pleased with the lack of contact. There’s less hesitance, this time, when she reaches out to touch me. I tuck her hand between my face and shoulder once she cups my cheek.
“Don’t leave.”
“I won’t,” she whispers, not looking away from me.
I don’t just mean now.
I mean forever.
I never want her to go.