44. Maia
44
MAIA
I hold the photo up in front of me and point to the woman we all know. “You say she’s called Morgan Grey, but I know her as someone different. Emily. She’s someone I know well , and I’m not out here trying to get your hopes up. I’m confident they’re the same woman.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Alex says. His tone is empty, his eyes a bright, glowing hazel where I can see the silver flecks so clearly, but the bond shows something else entirely.
I can feel how terrified he is that I might be telling the truth. How much it physically hurts him to know that, all this time he’s mourned his cousin, she’s been alive, living her life, without letting him know.
He’s in agony, and rather than accepting the act he sees as a betrayal, he’s content to be in denial.
It’s obvious that it’s Alex who is upset right now and not his wolf.
Max hasn’t fought to make an appearance, but I can feel his contentment thrumming alongside the turmoil that Alex is in.
“I do know what I’m talking about,” I argue, trying my best to keep my tone soft. “Just because my reality is different to yours doesn’t make it any less true, love.” I step forward and reach out for him. I won’t force myself on him, and he doesn’t accept my touch.
“She’s alive, Alex, and whilst it hurts, it’s still the truth. Morgan is not dead.” I tuck my hair behind my ears and try not to grimace. “I don’t know what happened, and I don’t know how, but one day, you’ll see this as a good thing.”
“No, I won’t. Stop, little butterfly.” His voice cracks, tears filling his eyes, as he shakes his head. “I’m begging you. Please, shut up and stop. I can’t… I need you to stop talking.”
He turns away from me, and I hear him take a deep breath as tears fill my eyes. His agony is washing over me, and I’m trying my hardest to remember that he is not me.
That Ryan is not Morgan.
I’d be elated if I was told Ryan faked his death. I’d be angry and hurt, but eventually, I’d be so overwhelmingly happy that I’d be a completely different woman. The grief, the mourning, the loneliness, the constant stream of what-ifs would be over.
He’d be back. He’d be whole.
Phoebe would have her father back in her life, and she’d be able to bond with him.
And I want to argue that with Alex, I want to point out all of the good things. I want to continue my argument and try to bring him out of the pain and sorrow he’s feeling.
Ben steps forward, giving me a patronising look. I examine his feelings and frown at the dry, almost mocking tinge to his sadness.
“People can look similar, Maia, you know that better than anyone.” I flinch at the patronising tone, at the rude jab, but don’t back down from his gaze. I know Ben, and I know he’s not trying to be malicious. “She can have somebody out there that looks like her but that person is not her . Morgan is dead, darling. We’ve come to terms with it, and we don’t need to dredge up the past.”
“She’s not dead,” I protest, reaching for him. Ben takes me into his arms and presses a soft kiss to my temple, his breathing heavy, and his heartbeat erratic. “Ben, love, I can’t ever imagine how hard this is?—”
“No, darling, you can’t.” His words are from a broken man, and he holds onto me like he’s scared I’m the one who is going to disappear next.
“She might not be living under the same name anymore, but that doesn’t mean she’s gone. Ryan got out of there. He escaped. He got to start a new life. If it happened with him… why couldn’t it happen with her, too?”
He breathes in my scent, a few droplets of tears soaking my head, before he steps away from me. No matter how much he hides his emotions on his face, he can’t hide them from my soul.
We’re one. We’re joined together, and I can feel exactly what he does.
His disbelief is almost as strong as Alex’s, but where Alex is feeling so negative and destroyed, Ben has hope .
His eyes flash blue, and he steps back once more as he lets the tears pour from his eyes.
“Enough,” Topher snarls, letting out a very loud growl. I flinch, and Phoebe starts to cry over the baby monitor. We all freeze, nobody even breathing, as she lets out another one.
I turn tail, racing up the stairs faster than any of my men react, and fly into the bedroom. She’s crying hysterically in the crib, her eyes bright—almost glowing in the dark—and I turn the lamp on as dim as it goes.
“Hi, baby,” I soothe, lifting her up into my arms. She quietens almost immediately, and I cuddle her in close. “Did you get a little fright?”
“She did.” I turn to the doorway, seeing Topher there with a hesitant look on his face. “May I come in?”
I shake my head, tears dripping down my face, as my anger builds. He reacted in a very angry way, and that scared her enough that she woke up .
He caused her panic.
But then his face falls, sadness and regret filling his side of the bond, and I sigh.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“Breathe, princess,” he soothes.
The bedroom door was closed. Her windows are closed. Sure, she might’ve felt his anger and woke up because of that, but the likelihood is that she didn’t.
I’m placing blame for no reason.
I cross over to him and pass my daughter over into his arms. She settles completely as she grasps onto Topher’s finger, and he smiles, leaning down to kiss her nose.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, and Topher looks up, giving me a soft look. “I was angry and blamed you, but no blame was needed.”
“I’m sorry, little pup,” Topher says, his voice a little higher than normal as he talks in such a gentle tone. I feel rude standing here watching this adorable moment, but I can’t bear to even blink and miss a second of this cuteness.
“I’m not mad at mummy,” Topher adds, leaning down to brush a kiss against our daughter’s forehead. “Silly daddies.” He laughs. “No, little pup, you’ve got Daddy T tonight.”
“What?” I ask, confused.
He smirks, looking up at me. “I’m not saying she has a favourite, but you really need to cut Seb off. I refuse to have her beg for a different daddy when I’m the one here.”
I laugh as tears fill up my eyes, and I turn away from him to try and compose myself. Today has been rough, and I’m not sure how much else I have left to give. I’m exhausted, and my heart hurts.
The secrets continue, and for every answer we get, more questions form. I don’t know how any of the guys are still upright and coping.
They’re so strong.
I hear Topher’s footsteps as he comes to my back and gently places Phoebe into my arms from over my head. She nestles in close, and he wraps himself around me, softly kissing my pulse.
“You’re positive?” he asks quietly. It doesn’t take a genius to know he’s referring to his cousin.
“Pretty sure. The similarities are profound . She’s practically identical, other than the slight signs of age.” I tremble slightly, and he tightens his hold around me, and Phoebe’s smile is so beautiful as she looks up at us both. “I met her a few times throughout my childhood, always calling her Auntie Em?—”
“When was the first time?” he demands. His tone is abrupt, and I press back into him, sending love along the bond.
“She babysat me when I was… ten or eleven?” I say, thinking about it. “I met her a few times over the years, for dinners and at events. When I did my work experience at my mum’s foundation when I was sixteen, she was the one I shadowed.”
“I don’t understand how any of that is possible,” Topher says quietly. “We saw her dead body, Maia. It was her.”
“No chance she had a secret twin like Ryan?” I ask almost bitterly.
He shakes his head, sighing deeply. “No. She was a solo birth. I just don’t understand how it could’ve happened. I trust you, and if you say she’s out there, then she’s out there. I just can’t cope with the lack of answers.”
Phoebe gurgles, and Topher relaxes at my back as he peers over my shoulder at her.
“She’s beautiful,” he murmurs, trailing his finger down her face. He kisses my cheek, before moving away from me. “Morgan is called… Emily in your world?”
I nod, turning with Phoebe in my arms to see Topher properly. “She avoids the media, always has. I never understood it, but she claimed that all she wanted with her life was to do charity and to give back to those who need it, to those who can’t defend themselves, and that she doesn’t need to be in the spotlight for that to be the case .
“Since taking over Howling Hope once my parents died, she hired a brand new PR team who took over that sphere of the foundation, and she just runs the place. She’s been in charge since my parents died, and she’s done such amazing things for the foundation.”
“So that would have been since around your eighteenth birthday, right?” he asks, and I nod. “So six years ago.”
“Yes.”
He nods slowly. I move over to the bed as Phoebe starts to get a little restless and sit down against the pillows. He sits on the edge of the bed, on the opposite corner, and there’s a deeply reflective expression on his face.
“I’m curious as to what happened in those four years, then.” He eyes me nervously, but I beat him to it.
“My parents, or at the very least, my mum, clearly knew something. The simplest explanation is oftentimes the most accurate one. She was involved in at least part of Morgan’s fake death. I don’t know how. I don’t know what she did. But she knew .”
“It seems that way.”
I sigh, looking up at the ceiling, breathing slowly and deeply to try and regulate myself. Alex and Ben are still huge messes downstairs, and I can’t let myself lose it and make it harder for them.
“I wish I knew how deep this all went.”
“Me too, princess, me too.” He rubs the back of his neck before jolting. His head snaps over to me, his eyes wide. “And you asked for Morgan’s help for the start-up funds for Ryan’s company?”
I flinch but nod. “I wasn’t hiding that. I was going to say it to your parents, but Seb said not to, and then it felt more appropriate to tell you about her being alive than that. But, yes, Em was very excited about the potential ideas for the foundation, and she…” I trail off, my eyes widening. “No. She refused to meet with him at first. I mentioned his products and hi s ideas, and she was very interested.
“But then I showed her a photo, and she shut it down. She was scared and refused.”
“What changed?”
“I don’t remember. She called me up and asked for me to get in touch with them. I liaised with Ryan to make it happen. All I did was intro… re- introduce them.”
I gasp, tears filling my eyes. “I… I could’ve ruined her life.” She faked her death to get away from her family, and there I went, bringing Ryan back into her life.
“Maybe,” he says softly. “But she took that step herself. You didn’t do anything wrong, Maia, you didn’t. Morgan was always brave and headstrong and far too forgiving for her own good.”
I’m exhausted. My head hurts, and I just need a break.
“What do we do now?” My words are a whisper, and he sighs.
“Losing Morgan destroyed our family,” he says. “And if she’s still alive… things are going to get worse before they get better. Alex is betrayed, Ben’s desperate for it to be the case, and Seb’s so closed off I have no idea how he feels.”
“How do you feel?” I ask.
He grins at me, and it takes my breath away, even if it’s full of sadness. “I feel like I might finally be able to heal from the past and forge a stronger way forward.”
I nod slowly, warmth filling me at his declaration. “As lovely as that is, that doesn’t answer my question.”
“I’m always the one with the answers, but I don’t have any right now.” He gives me a tight smile and gestures with his head towards Phoebe. I see that she’s fallen asleep as we’ve been talking.
I lower her back into her crib, and she doesn’t even stir.
“I’m going to go talk with my brothers,” Topher says. “Do you… could you stay up here? I think it’s going to be messy, and I…”
“I understand.” I walk back over to where he’s standing, coming to a stop right in front of him. He looks down at me, and I smile. “I’m your mate, but you still have history that I’m learning about, a life before me that you’re coming to terms with. I’m not upset that you guys need time together to process, not with something like this.”
He nods, the relief flashing across his face. “I love you.”
“I love you more,” I say, reaching up on the tips of my toes to kiss his jaw. I’d have preferred his lips, but I’m too short.
“I, um, have some photos if you’d like to see them?”
His nod is jerky now, but I reach over for my phone, my chest brushing against his. He hisses, and I hold in my smirk as I flip through the photos. I pull up the “Emily” contact, and show him a few photos of the two of us over the years.
There’s a few where I’m young, and she’s likely closer to the woman he was used to, and some of us dressed up for events, and even just a lovely family shot.
“Fucking hell,” he hisses once more, but this time, it’s not due to arousal. He drops down onto the edge of the bed, continuing to look through the photos on my phone. His face is filled with so much pain, but I can feel the small amount of joy across the bond.
He’s relieved, but I think that like Alex, he’s betrayed. He’s devastated.
And he feels guilty.
“Do you want a hug?” I ask softly when he puts the phone down. He doesn’t speak but opens his arms for me. I take the two steps forward and wrap my arms around his neck, letting him tug me closer.
He breathes in deep, and I squeeze that little bit tighter. His arms are wrapped around my waist, and I can hear each one of his breaths as he breathes in my scent.
“Thank you.” His words are breathy, and he pulls back from me.
I can feel the heat rising up my cheeks as he looks at me. There’s such a heated intensity in his eyes, and I tenderly cup his cheeks and lean in close for a kiss.
Having him sitting on the edge of the bed and me standing puts me taller than him, so I bend my head down and press my lips to his, shamelessly pressing my body closer, angling my lower body near his hand in the biggest hint I can muster.
Topher pulls me forward gently, our cores connecting, as our kiss deepens. I moan into his mouth, lost in the moment with him. His hand slides down to my hips, pulling me as close as possible, as our bodies mould together.
He doesn’t pause, he doesn’t take a second to breathe, he just devours me as if it’s his god-given right.
I whimper as his teeth brush against my lower lip, and he smiles into the kiss. His hand rises up to grip my hair, and he tugs my head to the side as he leaves heated kisses down my jaw to my neck. He sucks and nibbles, teasing and taunting me.
I roll my hips against his centre as his teeth graze my neck. I moan as he actually bites me, but unlike when I bite him, his is far too soft and gentle.
The air is supercharged with our passion, and yet, I feel so empty .
“More,” I whimper when he pulls his teeth away to give me a soft kiss instead. “Please, Toph.”
“What do you want, princess?” he murmurs, the scratch of his beard against my neck causing goosebumps to appear across my skin.
“Bite me. Please.” I don’t know where the plea comes from, but I mean it. I want him to bite me. I want him to fill me with his cock, to take the emptiness away.
I can feel the bastard smirk, and the fury only turns me on that much more.
“Beg me for it.”
I freeze, and he kisses my neck, running his hands up and down my sides, every so often, brushing against the side of my boobs but never hovering .
“You heard me, princess,” he says. He sounds so unbothered, and yet, not only are my panties drenched, I’m panting like a dog in heat. “Beg me for it.”
He grips my hair tight, but not enough to truly hurt, and pulls me back so I’m looking in his hazel eyes. “You’ve been spoiled by the others, princess, but with me, you know the score. You obey, and I’ll give you exactly what you want.”
I gasp, and as he cups my cheek, his thumb presses against my lips. “Suck.”
I fucking obey.
I suck his thumb like it’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted, making eye contact with him the entire time, fucking living for the prideful look on his face.
I rock against him again, this time, my wetness engages with his knee instead of his erection, and his smile widens, dimples forming amongst his beard.
“Now, beg like the good little girl I know you are,” he demands, giving me a grin.
“Beg for what?” I whimper, rocking again.
He lays down on the bed, gripping my hips tight, positioning me properly over his cock. The hard length presses against me, and I whimper once more.
“Beg me to make you cum,” he says, and my eyes widen. My heart pounds in my ears, and the door opens.
“Oh, shit,” the man says, and whilst Topher groans, I groan even harder.
“I hate you,” I groan.
My heart rate begins to slow as I ungracefully scoot off Topher’s lap to sit on the bottom of the bed next to him. He makes no move to get up, and I move my foot back from where it was still touching him.
“No, no, don’t stop on my account,” Ben says, smirking at us. He’s only wearing a pair of black shorts now, and there’s a huge bruise down his left side. It wasn’t there this morning, but it’s already a greenish-yellow as if it’s fading .
I frown, my arousal dimming. “What happened?”
He waves his hand, shrugging it off. “I’m the runt. I tried getting in between Seb and Alex and broke my ribs. I’m all good.”
I gasp, kneeling up on the bed, reaching for my mate, but Ben stops advancing forward. I grumble and get up properly, moving forward to examine his body. He’s tender where I touch, despite the bruises fading.
“Do you need a doctor?” I ask softly.
“He’s fine, princess,” Topher says, reaching over to place his hand on my lower back. “I’ll go down now, and we’ll smooth things over, okay?”
“Not too sure about that,” Ben says cheerfully. “Seb’s left.”
I gasp again, and Topher now tenses up. I can feel his frustration along the bond, but more than that is his fear .
“Where the fuck has he gone?” Topher demands, and I flinch at the tone of his voice. My eyes dart over to where Phoebe’s sleeping, and she doesn’t stir.
“No idea.” Ben shrugs, peering between us. “So were you going to let her suck your cock, Toph? I’d really like to watch. It would be better if you’d fuck her, and then let me eat?—”
“No. I am going to go downstairs, and tell Alex to call?—”
“Oh, he’s gone, too,” Ben says with a shrug. I squeeze my eyes tightly shut as Topher’s anger intensifies. I can feel the tension in the air, the presence from Orion, as he fights for control.
“I see.” There’s footsteps, and Topher comes to my side. “Open.” He didn’t force me, not truly, but my eyes fly open without my permission. “Good girl. You are safe here.”
“I know.”
“Good. Ben and I are going to track down the other two, but we can wait until you’re asleep if you’d like.”
I shake my head. “I’ll be fine.”
I look down at my hands, avoiding the intensity of his stare. There’s an uncomfortable air in the room, but I’m pretty sure it’s one of my own creation.
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about anything?”
“I’m sure.” My heart is racing out of worry for my two missing mates, but I have faith that Ben and Topher can manage them.
I’m exhausted, and I need sleep. I need time to recharge, time to let my brain reset.
“Okay,” he says, nodding. He leans in and brushes his lips against mine in a soft kiss. “Be good. Look after Phoebe. Call if you need us, okay?”
“I will.”
He nods, and then the two of them leave the room. I hear them muttering quietly to each other, but I can’t discern the words and can’t tell which one of them is speaking at which time. It doesn’t take long, maybe five minutes, before they’re gone. I heard them locking the doors, but my heart doesn’t settle.
In fact, I actually feel worse. I thought I’d be fine. I know they’re all okay. I know I’m safe.
But now that they’re gone, there’s a coldness seeping into my bones that is too hard for me to ignore. It’s horrible, and combined with the pounding of my heart and the pit of dread in my stomach, I don’t want to be here.
I’m tired.
But more than that, I’m so lonely, it hurts.
I hate that in a way, I’m the reason that two of my men are out searching for the other two. That I shared something so huge on the back of so many secrets and big drops of information, and I’ve caused this sort of tension.
Not because it’s not true. Not because it’s my fault. But because it’s such a huge change, a huge shift in their lives, and I’m the catalyst for it.
Between Phoebe, who is Ryan’s wolf-born daughter, and the ties we share with the Grey pack... to now having even deeper ties to the family dramas that have plagued them for the last decade, it’s an immensely hard reality to process.
Phoebe begins to stir, and I sigh, pushing away my drama in favour of tending to my little girl. Bum change, boob, cuddles, sleep. Bum change, boob, cuddles, sleep. Bum change, boob, cuddles?—
“Hi,” a voice whispers. I can’t see very well, not now that the light is off, and I hear them come into the room. I’ve been tossing and turning for most of the night, but I am so glad that they’re home. “Maia?”
“I don’t know which one of you it is, but it’s late, and I am desperate to go back to sleep,” I mutter grumpily. There’s a soft laugh, ruling out Seb and Ben. It doesn’t matter how well I can see, they’re fucking identical, and in the dead of the night, their clothes are the same colour. The man comes into the room on soft feet and gently tugs my duvet back.
I groan at the cold air hitting me, move over so he can get into the bed, and roll onto my side so that I can face him. The darkness doesn’t help, and since his eyes are just his human ones, I can’t differentiate in the dark.
“Which one are you?” I demand. There’s no tact here, only exhaustion.
“So rude,” he teases, brushing some annoying hair out of my eyes. “It’s Alex, little butterfly. Get yourself to sleep.”
I nod and stifle a yawn. “It’s four in the morning. Did you just get back?”
“Yes,” he says. “Go back to sleep, though. I’m here now. You’re okay.”
“Never stopped me sleeping in the first place,” I mutter, rolling over to face the crib so he can’t see the lie on my face. I’ve been drifting in and out of sleep every time the house makes a noise, worried it’s them coming home, but even deeper, worrying that it’s not .
I feel his warmth at my back as a soft kiss is pressed to my neck, and I fall asleep so much easier knowing that he’s home, that I’m not alone.
I don’t feel as empty, as lonely, or as soul-deprived , now.