8. ashton #2
I can’t lie. There’s something about an enormous man turning into a pile of mush for a little kid that sends my ovaries into overdrive.
And when it’s Brooks, it’s something else entirely.
I know him. I’ve known him my whole life.
He’s a prankster, a joker; he’s always been a guy’s guy.
Always game for a beer or two. Always ready to drop everything to help someone out.
And seeing how natural his interactions are with Emmy, and how much she adores him…
well. That big ol’ biological clock is ticking louder than ever.
I thought I wanted a life with Declan and Jessa, their beautiful Midtown loft, shiny city kitchens and a whirlwind life far removed from this.
But being home has changed everything, because now that I’m home, I know for sure this is exactly the kind of life I want.
My cabin on the ranch. Daily rides around the land with Mayo, the Texas sky as far as the eye can see. A home. A family. Babies, someday. I don’t even realize how lost I am in my own thoughts until Harriet’s hand appears on my arm and she looks at me, eyes full of concern.
“You okay, honey?”
I nod. “Yeah, good.”
Harriet tips her head toward Brooks and I suddenly realize I’d zoned out and missed an entire conversation happening around me. Brooks is on his feet now, and Emmy is on the floor surrounded by colorful wooden fruit, clutching Bunny to her chest.
“Just asked if you’re ready to bounce, devil. I know you came here on horseback, and your steed left an hour ago. Need a ride?”
“Oh, yeah. Thanks.” I press my lips into a thin smile and stand, hugging Dean and Harriet again before Emmy crashes into my legs. I swing her up into my arms and kiss both of her cheeks.
“You keep an eye on that Bunny, huh? Make sure he don’t go wandering off again.”
“Thank you again, Ashton. And you, Brooks. I don’t know what we would’ve done if you hadn’t found him.”
“Naw, don’t even think it. That thing’s gonna turn fifty with Emmy, fallin’ apart at the seams. She ain’t ever goin’ nowhere without him.”
“Can we not think about my baby being fifty? She’s not even three yet. I can’t even handle three, never mind fifty.”
“You got a whole other one to raise up and grow old too, don’t forget.
” Brooks points at his sister’s pregnant belly with a smirk.
The kind of smirk that says he knows he’s pushing his luck.
The kind of smirk that says he loves his sister, and he can’t wait to spoil his nephew and teach him everything he needs to know.
“Thanks, little bro. You can leave now.”
Brooks hugs his sister one more time. I’ve known this man forever; his family too, but since coming home from New York, it feels like I’m meeting him for the very first time. I haven’t even been gone that long—not really—and it’s not like we haven’t talked while I’ve been away.
Although, I feel a pang of guilt when I realize we haven’t actually talked that much lately. Ever since losing Declan and Jessa, I haven’t really known what to say, even to the ones who know me best. Maybe I’ve been a little more gone than I thought.
Because the Brooks leading me out to his enormous truck, opening the door for me, offering me a hand to help me climb in, even though I’m plenty tall enough to manage it myself?
He’s not the boy I left on the ranch, the one I made promise to look after my brother.
He’s a man. Grown and imposing, but with the biggest heart and the kindest soul.
And perhaps worst of all, the most dangerous smile when he glances over at me, fiddling with the thin red string tied around my wrist.
“What’s on that mind of yours, devil?” The engine turns over as he twists the key, and he throws an arm over the back of my headrest as he twists in his seat, looking out of the rear window to back away from the house.
“Huh?” I fish my lip balm out of my pocket, shifting in my seat. “Oh. Nothing.”
“Now try and sound like you actually mean it.”
“Naw, I’m okay.” Lie. “Just thinking about all the crap I gotta do tomorrow.”
“Anything you wanna talk about?” Brooks’s face turns serious as he guides his truck down a gravel road. “Anything I can help out with?”
“Not really.” I squeeze the tube, pressing my fingers into it from one end to the other as I run the flat tip over my lower lip.
I really do have some errands to run, starting with my lip balm.
I’m almost out. I don’t think any of the stores in Skillett will be able to help me.
I think I’m bound for Farrow, to hit up one of the bigger grocery stores.
Hopefully one with a pharmacy or something attached.
I’m low on lip balm, and I need to stock up on my daily vitamins and supplements, too.
I didn’t realize how low I was when I threw the tub into my bag before leaving New York.
I know there are places I can buy vitamins in Skillett, but I’ve become embarrassingly reliant on this one particular kind for helping to keep my migraines at bay.
I can buy them almost anywhere in New York, but I might have to order them online and pay extra for fast, middle-of-nowhere shipping now that I’m back in Texas.
“Just some regular old chores. Thanks, though.”
I don’t add that my mind is entirely consumed with inappropriate thoughts about my best friend, and how much I’ve missed him. How torn I am over him being my best friend, and imagining that he could be more.