Sixteen
After an hour and a half of covert movement, we finally settle in at my grandfather’s favorite cabin to hunt. I walk around and make sure things are as they should be. But just five minutes into my perusal, I hear Ashley curse.
“God dammit!”
“What’s wrong?” I ask as I rush toward him.
“Nothing,” he grits out.
After he says this, he turns his head away from me. But I can see the tension in his features. Something is wrong, and I want to know what it is. But I can’t lash out at him like I want to do. Instead, considering our carnal knowledge of each other, I change my approach so I can get the answers I need.
“Ashley,” I breathe. “Talk to me.”
“No,” he says as he shakes his head. “Not yet. I need to call my supervisor.”
With that, he walks outside and initiates a call on his phone. And I let him. While I understood that he wanted to go somewhere Diamond and his crew couldn’t find us earlier, I have no idea what’s really going on to cause him to be so…down.
Ten minutes pass while he paces and carries on a very tense conversation. Five more minutes have me ready to march out there and demand answers. But when he comes back inside looking absolutely defeated, I change my approach one more time.
“Ashley,” I breathe. “Talk to me. Please. What’s going on?”
He sucks in a sharp breath and almost collapses onto the closest chair. Then he lowers his head, so his chin is reacting on his chest. I step a little closer and place my hand on his shoulder. His body tenses immediately, so I know it’s not good.
“It’s my fault,” he breathes.
“What?” I ask. “What are you talking about?”
“This morning,” he chokes out. “I checked my email and wasn’t happy about what I read. You woke up and I climbed into bed with you. And I left my laptop open…”
It only takes a moment for me to connect the dots and finish his sentence.
“And that allowed the leak to track us?”
“Yeah,” he rasps.
Then he leans forward and braces his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands together and letting his head hang down even further. Without hesitation, I drop to my knees in front of him, suddenly desperate to ease his pain. I place my hands on his forearms and grip him.
“Ashley, look at me.”
He shakes his head and sighs.
“It was my job to keep you safe,” he whispers. “Instead, I led them straight to you.”
“You didn’t let them get to me,” I point out. “I’m still alive. Because of you.”
“I shouldn’t have to protect you from my mistakes,” he says as he finally looks up.
The pain in his eyes is shocking. He’s known me for less than a day, for God’s sake. And I’m sure the last thing he expected when he showed up at that scene last night was that he’d suddenly be personally responsible for my life.
“You still did your job,” I tell him.
“I put you in danger, Lorna,” he growls. “Because I…”
His brow furrows for a minute. Then he almost knocks me on my ass when he shoots out of the chair and starts to pace again. Slowly, I rise and turn to watch him.
“Because what?”
“Because I have feelings for you!” he shouts as he wheels around to face me. “I let my personal feelings for you cloud my judgement on how to handle things and it could have gotten you killed, dammit!”
My jaw falls open at his admission. My brain spins as I try to form some type of response. But nothing comes to me. As I stare at him, the pain on his face slowly fades. It’s replaced with something else. Something much more tender. When I feel a tear slip down my cheek, he takes two long strides and gently cups my face in his hands. Completely off-balance, both physically and emotionally, I place my hands on his waist and pull myself closer.
“I can’t protect you properly if I let my emotions guide me,” he says. “Do you understand that?”
“Yes,” I nod. “But…I trust you to do your job, Ashley. Please, believe that.”
“I do,” he nods. “So…I have to leave you here for a while.”
“What?By myself?”
“Yes,” he nods again.
“But…”
“My supervisor is sending two agents here,” he says. “They’re going to watch the area while I’m gone. This cabin is completely exposed so if Diamond or any of his crew show up, they’ll see them and they’ll stop them.”
“But what are you doing to do?”
“I’m going to make sure we can find the leak.”
“How?”
“Jesus, Lorna,” he sighs.
“You’re going to put yourself in danger, aren’t you?”
Tears prick my eyes at the thought. But Ashley’s expression only grows more serious. The determination in his eyes doing nothing to settle my now frazzled nerves.
“Yes,” he nods. “I’m going to the closest hotel and I’m going to do exactly what I did this morning.”
“But what if-”
He cuts off my question with a searing kiss. I moan and melt into him. He deepens the contact, but only for a moment before he pulls back.
“I’ll be back before nightfall,” he promises.
I nod. Then he kisses me once more before grabbing what he needs and leaving. When the door shuts, I walk to the window and watch as a now familiar black SUV pulls up the driveway. Ashley gets in the passenger seat and then he’s gone. Leaving me alone to process not only this situation, but his words.
Because if I’m being honest, I’m feeling something for him, too.