Chapter Twelve #3
Rowan stepped inside the entryway that opened right into the living room.
She recognized the muted blue couch with the corner piece that was a lounge and Evie’s favorite spot.
That was clearly still true, as the pillow there was flattened and a light blanket was in a pile at the foot. Rowan grinned.
“What are you smiling at?” Evie asked.
“I’m smiling because it’s the end of August and still in the eighties outside, but the air-conditioning always makes us use a blanket on the couch. I do it too.”
“I know you do.” Evie smiled back at her, and they had a quick moment of connection.
The floor was oak hardwood with a large area rug in the center of the room. A small gas fireplace took up one wall, shelves on either side of it. A television was mounted above it.
Rowan held up the bags. “I brought you some stuff I thought you might like.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know. Where’s the kitchen?”
Evie led her through the living room, and Rowan wanted to stop in it, look around, take in the old things she recognized as well as the new stuff she didn’t, but she followed Evie instead.
The kitchen was small, galley style, with cupboards and counter space on both sides, making it seem roomier than it was.
White cabinetry and silver fixtures were accented by cool gray walls and a gray and black backsplash of tiny glass subway tiles. Very modern and clean. Rowan liked it.
There was a small two-person table in a breakfast nook, and she set the bags there to unload.
“I wasn’t sure what you might need, but I got things I knew you liked.
” She didn’t add that she’d also tried to make sure she took things like nutrition into account, as she pulled out bananas, potatoes, fresh veggies, a bag of coffee she’d ground in the store, sparkling water, cranberry juice, and a candle.
Evie stood with her arms folded, but her expression was soft. “Rowan.” When Rowan met her gaze, she smiled. “You didn’t have to do this,” she said for the second time.
Rowan glanced down at her feet for a moment before finding the right words. “I’d really like to finish our conversation.”
Evie held her gaze for what felt like a long time before she gave a nod. “Okay.” She picked up the candle and raised her eyebrows in question.
Rowan lifted a shoulder. “It’s spiced pumpkin. It’s almost September, and I know how much you love the fall.”
Evie’s expression went soft, and her swallow was audible. She cleared her throat and asked, “Do you want something to drink? Wine? Soda? Tea?” She glanced at the groceries spread out on the table, then added with a smile, “I have sparkling water and cranberry juice, too.”
“That sounds perfect,” Rowan said, grinning back at her, and a few moments later, they moved to the living room, each of them with a glass of sparkling water and juice.
Evie sat back down in her spot at the corner of the couch, but Rowan wandered the room slowly, looking at the art on the walls, the books on the shelves, the various knickknacks. “When did you move?” she asked.
“About a year ago. I knew I was probably going to need something all on one floor as time goes on.” Rather than sad, her tone was matter-of-fact.
Rowan nodded. “Makes sense. Did you have to make a lot of changes like that? In preparation?”
Evie wrinkled her nose, an adorable thing she did when thinking about something or trying to recall a fact. “Just a few. The house was one. I hired a lawn guy. You know how much I like my yard work, but I decided to play it safe. I still did the flowers, though.”
“I saw. Pink and purple petunias, as usual.”
“They’re my favorite.”
“I remember.” Rowan gave a soft little laugh. “That’s not a sentence I say all that often anymore.”
Evie tucked a lock of hair behind her ear as she said, “My hair. I wanted something easier to manage.”
Rowan met her gaze across the room. “It looks great on you.”
“Thanks. Took some getting used to.” Evie’s hair had always been longer than Rowan’s, so she imagined that was very true.
She moved to the bookshelves on either side of the fireplace, noting that Evie’s taste in reading material had altered slightly. Among the usual romance novels and thrillers were medical books and a few self-help books on living with MS.
“My reading choices have changed a bit,” Evie said as if reading Rowan’s mind.
“I have several on memory loss and focal retrograde amnesia, so I get it.” She glanced over her shoulder, and the two of them shared a smile.
Then Rowan moved to the couch and sat, turning herself so one leg was bent up on the cushion and she was facing Evie.
“I’ve had a lot of time to think about all the things we talked about,” she began.
Evie gave her a half-grin. “Two days is not a lot of time to think.”
“Well.” Rowan lifted one shoulder. “It is when you’re not thinking about much else.”
“Fair enough.”
She held Evie’s gaze for what felt like long, long moments.
Evie didn’t look away, simply kept her dark eyes locked to Rowan’s, waiting.
Expectant. Braced? Maybe a little of that too.
“I want to help, Evie. I want to be here for you. The way I haven’t been.
The way I would’ve been if you’d told me in the first place.
” She arched an eyebrow almost comically to take the sting out of that last line.
Evie shot her a brief smile, then shifted in her seat. “Rowan. I don’t…” Rowan thought she almost said “need” but caught herself at the last minute and changed it to “want.” Evie swallowed and continued. “I don’t want to do that to you. I didn’t then and I don’t now.”
“Yeah, but see, here’s the thing: it’s not your decision to make.
I said it before and I’m saying it again.
That’s the thing you took from me.” She held up a hand to forestall any comments Evie had on her tongue.
“I’m not mad about it anymore. Well.” She tipped her head.
“I’m not furious about it anymore. I’m still kinda mad.
” Again, the eyebrow arch. “But you don’t get to decide what’s too much for me. You know?”
Evie seemed to take that in, though she wasn’t happy about it, that was clear from her worried expression.
“Look, I’ve been reading.” Rowan took a sip of her fruity water.
“The kind you have…there will be good days and bad days, yes?” At Evie’s nod, she went on.
“I know you have Claire.” She somehow managed not to make any faces or sounds that portrayed how she really felt about that.
“But what’s the harm in having an additional person to help out? Hmm?”
Evie seemed to ponder that and apparently came up with nothing.
They sat quietly for a moment before Rowan ventured on. “So…about Claire.”
Evie’s smile was sad. “I love her. She’s been a wonderful friend.” She looked up to meet Rowan’s gaze. “But nothing more than that.”
“To her endless disappointment, I’m sure.
” Rowan wiped a hand through the air, as if to erase her comment.
“You know what? Forget I said that. That was mean. I don’t want to be an asshole.
” Her voice went softer. “And I can’t blame her for wanting more with you.
” She waited for a moment or two, and when she finally spoke, she spoke softly.
“So, what does your schedule look like?”
By the time she’d taken their glasses into the kitchen and washed them, gathered herself, and Evie walked her to the door, they had a plan for the next week.
“Okay, so I’ll bring lunch by tomorrow, and then Wednesday, we’ll do dinner and watch a movie. Thursday, your mom’s gonna take you to your appointment and Claire will be here after that. But Friday, I’m taking you out. Yes?”
Evie’s smile was wide, filled with joy, and…was that a sliver of relief Rowan could see in her eyes? “Yes. That sounds perfect.”
“You’re gonna need to let Claire know that I’ll be around,” she warned.
“I think she knows.” Evie’s grin was lopsided and ridiculously cute.
Rowan reached out and pulled Evie into a hug before either of them could prepare.
She inhaled deeply, taking in Evie’s scent, soft vanilla and pumpkin and a little musk, and it was so achingly familiar, it brought tears to Rowan’s eyes.
When they let go, she glanced down at her feet, hiding the wetness.
“See you tomorrow,” she whispered, then turned quickly and headed down the walkway to her car.
Evie stayed in the doorway while Rowan got in her car, started the engine, and pulled away with a wave.
Her head was full.
Her heart was full.
She had the strangest sensation of new beginnings and starting over, and they were mixed in with fear and love and longing and wonder and confusion and so many different emotions, she could hardly keep track. But when she glanced at her reflection in the rearview mirror, there was a smile.
She was already looking forward to tomorrow.