Epilogue
One year later
“Thank you guys so much,” Rowan said as she handed a wad of cash to the head mover. “Much appreciated.”
The man was a giant hulk of muscle—she’d watched him carry a dresser all on his own—and he gave Rowan a nod.
“Take care.” He grabbed up the last two moving blankets from the floor and headed out to the truck.
Rowan stood in the doorway of her new home and watched as the moving truck pulled away and headed down her new street.
In the corner of the living room sat Kevin’s carrier. Next to it sat Evie. She glanced up at Rowan with a tired smile. “He stopped yowling. Finally.”
“The only time he’s ever in that is when we go to the vet, so he was probably thinking that’s where we were headed.” She squatted down to look at her cat through the door. “It’s okay, buddy. I’ll let you out in a minute, all right?” She stuck her fingers in and gave him a quick stroke.
“Okay, I think we’re good in here.” Rowan’s mom peeked her head out from around the counter area of the kitchen. “Wanna come take a look?”
Rowan held a hand down to Evie and helped her to her feet. In the kitchen, they both stopped in their tracks. Boxes were flattened and in a pile on the floor by the back door. The cupboard doors stood open, but the shelves were filled with dishes.
“Mom, did you unpack the entire kitchen?” Rowan blinked at her.
“Well.” Her mom shrugged. “The kitchen is the place you need most, and I know you girls have a lot of unpacking to do, so I thought it would help if this room was already done.”
Evie said nothing, simply stepped into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around Rowan’s mother, who hugged her back while smiling over her shoulder at Rowan. “Thank you,” Evie said quietly.
“You’re welcome.” They parted, and Rowan’s mom seemed to take a moment to collect herself. Waving a hand at the cupboards, she said, “Take a look and let me know if something doesn’t work for you. I’ll move it.”
“It’s great,” Evie said. “It’s perfect.” She looked at Rowan, who nodded her agreement.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Glad I could help.” There was a beat and then her mom said, “Well. I’m gonna get going.
I’ll come back tomorrow.” She seemed to catch herself and quickly looked from Rowan to Evie and back.
“I mean, if you want.” She’d been working so hard recently to not overstep, but Rowan knew it was hard for her.
Evie saved the moment. “We want. Definitely.” She reached out for Rowan’s mom, grabbed her hand. “We so appreciate all your help.”
Evie walked her toward the front door, and Rowan watched the two of them. Her mother and her partner, arm in arm, Evie leaning her head against her mom’s shoulder. They’d grown so close over the past year, and Rowan had loved watching their relationship re-blossom.
Her mom pointed at the cat carrier. “Are you going to let that poor boy out?”
Rowan laughed. “Yes. I just want to wait until I’m sure all the doors are closed and nobody’s going in and out.”
At the front door, her mom turned to look at the pair of them. “I’m so happy for you girls. This is a lovely house, the neighborhood is great, and I think you’re going to be very happy here.”
“Us, too.” Evie hugged her, then stepped aside so Rowan could do the same.
“See you tomorrow, Mom. Thanks again for everything.” Her mother kissed her cheek, then headed out. Rowan closed the door behind her and leaned her back against it. “I’m fucking wiped out.”
Evie sighed. “Same, babe. Same.” She sidled up next to Rowan and wrapped an arm around her. “But look at our house.”
Our house.
Rowan liked the sound of that. No, she loved the sound of that. She leaned her head against Evie’s shoulder and scanned the space before her.
The living area was open concept, a living room, dining area, and kitchen all in a large open space.
Rowan liked that. It would be easy for Evie to maneuver through, and Rowan would be able to see her in case she fell or needed help with something.
There were three bedrooms. Theirs had an en suite, so if Evie needed the bathroom in the night or something, it would be easy for her.
They planned to make one room into a guest room and the other, an office.
Rowan was back to work full-time, but she worked from home, so having an office space was helpful.
And with the entire house on one floor, it made things much easier on Evie, like her last place.
Stairs were no longer something they were willing to deal with in their living space.
“Should we let that boy out of his carrier?” Evie said, her quiet voice sounding loud in the silence of the house.
“You do that,” Rowan said. “I’ll be right back.
” She headed into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and pulled out the bottle of Champagne she’d stashed in there that morning.
Thanks to her mother, she easily located a couple of flutes, popped the cork, and poured.
In the living room, Evie was seated on the couch watching Kevin wander around slowly.
The large front window had a window seat, and she suspected that would become his spot once the sun shone on it.
She smiled at her cat, then handed a glass to Evie.
“What’s this?” Evie asked, surprised.
“I grabbed it yesterday when I ran out to get cash to tip the movers.” She sat down next to Evie. “I wanted us to be able to toast our new place today.”
“Look at you, always ready with the celebration.”
“I consider it my duty,” Rowan said and held up her glass. “To our new home. May we be happy and fulfilled here. May this house be bursting with love and laughter. May we grow happily old here together.”
A shadow crossed Evie’s face, but only for a blip of a second.
It happened whenever Rowan spoke about the future, but she saw it now and recognized it and knew Evie was doing her best. Her new therapist helped.
Evie seemed to mentally attempt to shoo the shadow away and she smiled. “That’s a good toast, babe. I like it.”
They touched their glasses together, then sipped. The house was silent, and they both watched Kevin wander for a moment before Rowan said quietly, “Hey. Look at me.”
Evie did, her dark eyes tired, but soft.
Rowan kept her voice low, and she held Evie’s gaze the entire time she spoke.
“I love you, and I want to be here. I know we’ve been through this a hundred times over the past year, but I’m not going anywhere, and it’s about time you just accept that.
Okay? I love you, and I’m in this for the long haul, no matter what. ”
Evie’s eyes welled up as Rowan watched. She swallowed and cleared her throat. “It’s the thing I’m working on the most in therapy,” she said, then gave Rowan a slightly sheepish grin. “Acceptance.”
“Of?”
Evie sighed. “Everything. My diagnosis. The way my life is going to progress from here on out. You…being here, with me. Loving me…” Her voice trailed off.
It hadn’t been easy on Evie, and she didn’t often talk about therapy—what she’d discussed during her appointments, what she’d worked out or struggled with. So now that she was talking about it, Rowan forced herself to listen without interjecting her own thoughts and opinions.
“It’s no secret that I’ve struggled,” Evie went on.
“With all of it. I’ve been so angry, so furious over the unfairness of it all.
And that”—she tapped her fingers against her chest—“it eats away at you, from the inside. I thought chasing you away was the best thing for both of us because…” She took a sip of her Champagne as if hoping it would bolster her courage to continue talking.
“Because I didn’t want to drag you down with me.
Because I want you to have the best life you possibly can.
Because I love you more than anything in this world. ”
Rowan’s eyes filled and a lump appeared in her throat, but she stayed quiet and let Evie go on.
“But I’m beginning to learn and to,” she grinned as she stressed the next word, “accept that it’s not all my decision.
Which you’ve been telling me for over a year now.
While the MS is all about me, the rest of this life we share is not.
You have a part here, too, and it’s arguably bigger than mine.
I have to let you accept it and play it without interference from me. Even if it terrifies me.”
Rowan sat speechless for a moment, a surge of pride welling up in her gut, in her heart.
“Wow.” It was the only word she could formulate at the moment.
She sipped her Champagne, hoping it would help wash down that stubborn lump.
After a moment, she said, “Your therapist is earning her money.” She laughed softly, then added, “That’s a lot of growth, baby. Seriously. You’ve come a long way.”
Evie nodded. “As long as you know that being my caregiver isn’t something I ever wished for you, I’m okay.”
“And as long as you know that I’m actually your partner and not your caregiver, we’re good. You take care of me; I take care of you. That’s what partners do, right?”
Evie studied her for a moment before she gave her a nod and a soft smile. “Right.”
Their gazes held in a sweet, emotional stand-off for a moment before they both broke into tender smiles. Rowan leaned forward and kissed Evie lightly on the mouth. “I love you,” she said again, just for emphasis.
“I love you, too,” Evie said. “And I know I worry and bitch and complain, but…I’m really glad you’re here.”
“There’s no place I’d rather be, baby.”
They sat back against the couch and put their feet up on the coffee table, Rowan’s crossed at the ankle, Evie’s leg thrown over hers, and watched Kevin explore.
Rowan sipped her Champagne and let herself simply feel—the relief of being moved in, the exhaustion in her bones and muscles, the warmth of Evie’s body next to hers—and it was perfect. She turned her head to look at Evie and smiled.
Her missing memories no longer frustrated her, because she knew they’d make a lifetime of new ones. Here at home. Together.