22. Mariana
Mariana
T he past few weeks have been a blur, like slipping into a life I thought I’d lost. Being with Sebastian again feels effortless, like muscle memory, like something that was always meant to be.
We’ve been spending time together—long walks through town, late-night drives with no destination, mornings in my bakery.
We’ve visited my mom, too, sitting by her bedside, sharing quiet moments where she just watches us with that knowing look in her eyes.
Analyse and Maya have become a regular presence in my days—the easy way Analyse teases Sebastian, reminding me of how much history I’ve missed out on.
I’ve been getting to know the guys at the firehouse more, too—spending time around them, seeing the way they laugh, the way they look out for each other, the way they care about him. About us.
And now, as I sit beside Sebastian in his truck, the road stretching ahead of us, it all feels surreal. Like the past is no longer something looming behind us, but something we are finally rewriting.
The trees lining the winding road blurred past the window, and in the quiet hum of the truck’s engine, I could feel my heartbeat in my throat. Sebastian’s fingers drummed lightly against the steering wheel, his other hand resting on the gearshift.
Every so often, his eyes lingered on me, his fingers tapping against the steering wheel in time with whatever thoughts he wasn’t saying out loud.
“You’re being suspiciously quiet,” I said, my voice lighter than I felt.
He smirked, keeping his eyes on the road. “I just don’t want to spoil the surprise.”
I huffed out a laugh, but it wasn’t forced. He always did that. He always had a way of making things feel easier than they were. “A surprise, huh? You really went all out for this date, didn’t you? You know we’ve already dated before, right?”
He shot me a sideways glance, a look that used to make my knees weak back when we were teenagers. “Not like this, we haven’t.”
I bit my lip, trying not to smile too wide. This was dangerous. Being with him, letting myself relax into this moment. It felt too easy.
When he pulled into the clearing, my stomach tightened. The lake stretched out before us, the moonlight glinting off the water just like it had when we were younger.
I stared at the dock, the gentle glow of lanterns casting warm light over the wooden planks, the soft setup of blankets and pillows, the small boat tied up like it had been all those years ago. A lump formed in my throat.
“Seba…is this…?”
He grinned, unbuckling his seatbelt, “Our spot? Yeah. I thought it was time we came back.”
I swallowed hard, my fingers gripping the edge of my seat. “I can’t believe you remembered.”
He stepped out and walked around the truck, opening my door before I could move. “Mariana,” he murmured, offering his hand. “When it comes to you, I remember everything.”
I stared at him for a second too long before taking his hand, his warmth steadying me as I stepped down onto the grass. The dock creaked under our weight as we walked toward the setup he had arranged.
I glanced at the boat, at the way the water lapped gently against the shore, and I let out a breathy laugh. “You’re actually serious.”
He pulled a beer from the cooler, popped the cap, and handed it to me. “When am I not?”
I shook my head, amused. “You’re ridiculous.”
He grinned. “And yet, you’re still here.”
I rolled my eyes but clinked my bottle against his anyway. “I sure am. To old memories.”
He held my gaze, something deeper flickering behind his eyes. “To new ones.”
My breath caught, and for a second, I forgot how to exhale. We sat on the dock, picking at the food he had packed, the conversation flowing easily. It always was with him, effortless, no matter how much time had passed.
But there was something different about it now. There was a weight behind every laugh, every glance. The past was still there, lingering between us, but it didn’t feel suffocating. It felt like something we could rewrite.
After a while, he stood, extending a hand to me. “Come on.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Come on where?”
“We’re taking the boat out.”
I hesitated. “Our boat?” The words felt strange on my tongue, heavy with memories.
Sebastian held my gaze, nodding once. “Yeah. Our boat.”
He must have sensed my unease because his voice softened. “Trust me.”
And that was the thing with Sebastian, I always did. I let him lead me to the boat, stepping in carefully as he untied it from the dock. He rowed us out, the lantern light from the dock fading behind us, the lake stretching wide and endless around us.
The silence between us wasn’t awkward. It was charged—heavy with the weight of all the years we had spent apart, of everything left unsaid, of words neither of us had dared to speak out loud yet.
I wrapped my arms around my knees, the night air cool against my skin. “I used to dream about this place,” I admitted quietly.
He rested an elbow on the edge of the boat, watching me. “Yeah?”
I nodded, staring at the reflection of the moon rippling in the water. “For years, I’d dream about being back here. But in my dreams, I was always alone.”
He exhaled slowly, his voice steady. “You’re not alone now.”
I looked at him then, my chest tightening at the way he said it. A promise. A fact.
The boat rocked gently, and Sebastian shifted closer, his knee brushing against mine. His hand found my chin, tilting it slightly, forcing me to meet his gaze.
“I’ve missed this,” he murmured.
I swallowed hard. “Me too.”
He ran his thumb over my jaw, slow and careful. “You have no idea what you do to me, Mariana.”
I leaned in, closing the space between us. Sebastian met me halfway, his lips warm and sure, his hands anchoring me against him. There was nothing hesitant about this kiss. No uncertainty. Just heat and familiarity, the way we always fit together.
I curled my fingers into his shirt, deepening it, feeling the soft sigh he let out as I pressed against him. The water rocked beneath us, the quiet ripples against the boat the only sound, besides our breath.
“You look so fucking sexy in that dress.” He says against my lips. “I don’t want tonight to end.”
I let out a soft laugh, breathless. “Me either.”
Sebastian’s eyes darkened as he pulled me closer, his hands sliding down to my waist. The moonlight danced across the water, casting ethereal shadows on his face. I traced my fingers along his jaw, feeling the slight stubble beneath my touch.
“We don’t have to end it,” I whispered, my heart racing.
He leaned in, capturing my lips once more. The kiss deepened, years of longing poured into every touch. The boat rocked gently beneath us, the water lapping softly against its sides.
Sebastian’s hands roamed my body, slipping under my dress and leaving trails of heat in their wake. I arched into him, my fingers tangling in his hair.
The cool night contrasted with the warmth of our bodies, sending shivers down my spine. I tugged at the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head. Moonlight gleamed on his skin, highlighting the familiar planes of his chest. I ran my hands over him, relishing every curve and dip.
He unzipped my dress with reverent slowness, peeling it away as if unwrapping a gift. His eyes roamed over me, dark with desire and something deeper. “God, you’re beautiful,” he murmured.
I pulled him close, skin against skin, relishing the warmth of his body against mine. Our lips met again, urgent and hungry. Sebastian’s hands roamed my curves, drawing soft gasps from my throat.
The cool night air raised goosebumps on my exposed skin, a delicious contrast to the heat building between us. With careful movements in the gently rocking boat, Sebastian laid me back onto the blankets. He hovered over me, his eyes searching mine. “I dream about this all the time,” he whispered.
I reached up to trace his cheekbone. “Me too,” I breathed.
He lowered himself, pressing his body against mine. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him closer. Sebastian groaned softly, burying his face in my neck.
His lips and tongue traced a path down my throat as his hands explored lower. I arched against him, lost in sensation. The boat swayed beneath us, the water lulling us into a rhythm. The night was still and silent, except for the sounds of our breath and lips meeting.
Sebastian’s kisses trailed down my body, leaving a trail of heat in their wake. I tangled my fingers in his hair, urging him on. His hands roamed over my skin, learning every inch as if for the first time.
Suddenly, he stilled and pulled back slightly. His hands patted around his pockets, a crease forming between his brows. “I don’t have…?” he exhaled, looking at me, hesitant.
I knew what he was asking, “I want to feel just you. I’m on the pill.” I say.
His expression changes, “Yeah? You want me bare, baby?”
I nod eagerly.
In one fluid motion, he positioned himself between my legs. His eyes locked onto mine as he slowly entered me. We moved together in perfect harmony, the boat rocking gently beneath us. Our bodies slick with sweat and our breaths mingled in the cool night air.
I clung to him tightly, lost in the sensations coursing through me. As we reached our peak together, time seemed to stand still. Our bodies shook with pleasure as we called out each other’s names into the stillness of the night.
Afterward, we lay tangled in each other’s arms as we watched the stars above us twinkle in approval. He looked up at me then, “I never stopped loving you, Mariana. Not for a single day.”
My heart clenched at his words. I cupped his face in my hands, pulling him up for a deep, searing kiss. “I love you too,” I breathed against his lips. “I always have.”
His arms tightened around me, and for a while, I let myself get lost in his warmth, in the steady rise and fall of his breath, in the way his fingers traced slow, lazy patterns against my skin.
But then, before I could stop myself, the words tumbled out. “I don’t get it.”
Sebastian shifted slightly, looking up at me, his brows drawing together. “Don’t get what?”
I exhaled, staring up at his face, “How you do it.”
His fingers brushed along my side. “Do what, hermosa?”
I swallowed. “How you love me like this. In the morning, I wake up a mess. Some days, I can’t even look at myself in the mirror without picking apart every single thing that’s wrong with me. By the afternoon, I swear I will convince myself I don’t need anyone, that I can handle everything alone.”
My voice wavers, and I hate it. “Sometimes I get mean, frustrated with my body, frustrated with everything. Sometimes, I push people away. I’m stubborn when I shouldn’t be, complicated when it would be so much easier not to be—and you’re still here.”
Sebastian exhaled through his nose, shaking his head, “Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done, Mariana.” His voice was calm, sure, completely, utterly certain. “It’s not a choice. It’s not something I have to think about. It just is.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, my chest too tight, my ribs aching under the weight of all the things I wanted to believe. “Even when I’m impossible?” I whispered.
His hand slid up my jaw, tilting my face toward his, his thumb brushing along my cheekbone. His gaze burned into mine, so full of love I might drown in it. “Especially then. Eres mi reina, Mariana. Mi corazon. Mi hogar.”