Chapter 8
Annie
The first week living with Luke goes by in a bit of a blur. Working opposite schedules Monday through Friday helps keep the much-needed distance between us.
I leave for my veterinarian assistant job at the shelter in the morning while Luke is still sleeping, and he’s already at Lenny’s by the time I get home.
We’ve barely crossed paths aside from the texts we send about when we’re leaving or when we’ll be home, and we fell into a comfortable routine fairly quickly.
I feed Rosie breakfast before I leave for work; Luke feeds her dinner before he leaves. I load and run the dishwasher; he unloads it. I put leftovers from making dinner for him in the fridge; he puts out my tin of matcha and water in the electric tea kettle before he goes to bed.
Just normal roommate things, all of it happening as the days passed.
I close the door behind me as I take my shoes off. Luke is at Lenny’s now, so I go through my new nightly routine of throwing my stuff into the guest room, taking Rosie for a quick walk around the block, showering, getting in my pajamas, and making dinner.
I was able to pick up my laptop and other things from the police station yesterday. I picked up more of my stuff with Mia and Drew last weekend, and I’m not letting myself acknowledge how it only took a few days in this new routine for Luke’s apartment to feel less like a place I’m staying and more like a home .
I blame my familiarity with Luke for the feelings, knowing that my comfort with him never completely went away all those years ago.
I keep telling myself it is only natural for my body to feel comfortable in his space.
But, for how much I told him—and myself—that we were better off forgetting everything that happened between us, it doesn’t feel like we ever will.
Memories we shared have faded, thinking about them doesn’t hurt as much as it used to, but they all feel so tainted. He is so intertwined in my childhood, my teenage years, and now my life as an adult, and I hope I’ll be able to one day look back at my relationship with Luke and not feel so much betrayal, especially because he’s not going anywhere.
Not only because of our friends but because I truly think that he would follow me wherever I go.
And that’s starting to not scare me as much as it used to.
I finish cleaning the kitchen from making dinner, and I am about to head into my room to find something to do for the rest of the night when my phone rings.
I already heard from my advisor earlier this week about my rotations, and I was able to get my rotation schedule finalized, so I know she isn’t the one calling. The number looks familiar though, and when I answer I understand why.
“Hi, Annie,” the gruff voice greets, “Lou Daniels here. I have an update about your apartment. ”
Hope bubbles in my chest at the same time a sliver of disappointment makes its way into my stomach. If it’s good news, it could mean that I can move back in.
If everything went well with the investigation, it could mean I don’t have to stay with Luke for the rest of the month.
So why is part of me hoping it isn’t good news?
Mr. Daniels continues, “It looks like the investigation is on track to finish by mid-August, but I noticed that you are due to renew your lease on September 1st.”
My feet move on their own, pacing back and forth across the living room as I wait for him to continue. He clears his throat. “Due to your unique circumstance,” he starts, alluding to the break-in that his complex may be at fault for if the police’s findings prove the complex was negligent with the windows they installed, “I understand if you do not wish to renew your lease with us.”
“Um,” I start, my feet stopping me in the middle of the kitchen, “I haven’t decided yet.”
It’s technically true—I haven’t. But, before the break-in, it never would have been something to decide. I would’ve renewed my lease without a second thought.
My mind has been so focused on just getting through this next month living with Luke, I haven’t thought about what I was going to do after the time was up.
Do I really want to go back to a place where all of this bullshit happened?
The break-in definitely spooked me, but I can’t deny that I was lucky. At the moment, it didn’t feel like it, but I can understand why Officer Collins said so.
I was lucky I wasn’t there, that the kid couldn’t take much, and that they caught him. The hassle of dealing with it all is what has been weighing more heavily on me than anything else.
“If you could let me know your decision by the time the investigation is over, I would appreciate it,” Mr. Daniels says, unaware of my inner spiraling.
“Yeah, definitely. I’ll think about it, and I’ll let you know. Thanks, Mr. Daniels,” I rush out.
He mumbles off a goodbye before we end the call, and I start pacing again.
Do I want to move back there?
It’s the easier option, and I did love the complex before this whole debacle put a sour taste in my mouth.
If I don’t go back there, where the hell am I going to go?
I can’t stay with Luke—not with our history and everything that resurfaces when we’re alone together—and my two closest friends have lives of their own; they aren’t at the point in their lives where they are looking for a roommate.
But I’m going to be 25 in a few weeks, and I’ve lived alone since I was 18. The thought of a roommate just doesn’t sit well with me, and I don’t have the kind of parents who would let me stay with them until I got back on my feet.
I don’t even hear the door open and shut behind me until I see Rosie jump off the couch where she has been watching me pace back and forth for who knows how long.
“Anxiously awaiting my arrival, Annie girl?” Luke quips, his signature smile on his face. His long blonde hair looks like he just ran his fingers through it, and his blue eyes have an amused sparkle as he takes me in.
My pajama set suddenly feels entirely too revealing, and, even though the shorts and tank top cover everything, I don’t need Luke, of all people, to see.
“You’re home early,” I say, putting my hands on my hips.
“I texted you,” he replies as he walks into the kitchen.
I glance at my phone, and sure enough, a text from Luke—I must have not heard the notification when I was on the phone.
“But it’s only 8 o’clock, who’s at the bar?” I know Emmett has been opening all week, wanting to make sure he gets as much of the administrative stuff for the month done before the baby is born.
“I figured Ava could finish the shift on her own.”
Ava
Another girl’s name on his lips makes my skin prickle.
“Who’s Ava?” I ask, wanting to slap my hand over my mouth the second the question leaves my lips.
Luke’s eyebrows raise as he sets his backpack down on the kitchen counter, and I feel the tips of my ears heat. I untuck my hair from behind my ears before crossing my arms. “Jealous?” he coos, and I want to kick him in the shin.
I take a few steps into the kitchen, coming to stand in front of him across the counter. “I just feel sorry for any girl who has to spend her nights with you,” I reply, hoping the confidence in my voice doesn’t sound as fake as it is.
For the past seven years, Luke has never once talked about his dating life or if he has been seeing anyone. Not with me at least. I know he’s had flings because one of our friends would always mention it.
He can do whatever he wants, I don’t care.
I do whatever the hell I want.
But the prickly feeling on my skin only worsens when I think of Luke spending his time with another girl.
And that only proves that Luke and I should not be in the same space, alone, for extended periods of time. It brings up too many emotions, ones I have been able to bury for years. It’s only been a week, but when he leaves me notes on the counter that say “I hope you have a good day” or “Thanks for making dinner again”, I can’t pretend that I don’t wish things were different.
“I have one more week of training her, but she should be good to go by next week,” Luke explains. “But don’t worry, she’ll never replace you.” He’s trying to get a rise out of me, and it’s working.
One month is already way too long to be spending here—especially because it is much harder to ignore my feelings about Luke if our paths are going to start crossing much more with him having fewer shifts with the three new bartenders.
An idea pops into my head, when I remember that Luke is supposed to be leaving Lenny’s at the end of August. I know he has his plans of moving back home—back to our hometown—to start work with his dad.
I have my own opinions about that son of a bitch, but it’s not my place anymore.
Regardless, Luke plans to move, so maybe I could take over his lease here when he does.
It’s a win-win for both of us.
Kind of.
That sliver of disappointment is back when I think about what happens after this month of living together, but it’s a stupid feeling to have. I don’t even want to be here in the first place.
Right?
“So,” I start, ready to broach the subject. “I just got off the phone with my apartment complex.” I watch as Luke’s playful expression takes a more serious one .
With someone as happy-go-lucky as him, seriousness always looks so foreign on him. “The manager wanted to know if I was going to be renewing my lease in September.”
“Okay,” Luke says warily, stretching out the word.
“But, I’m not sure if I want to.”
He rolls his lips together as he keeps his eyes on me. I can’t quite decipher what I see in his eyes—hope?—before he gives me a curt nod, urging me to continue.
“I was thinking, since I’m already staying here,” I start, but, before I can say more, both of our phones go off.
We both check the message, and then look back up at each other.
“The baby’s coming,” we say at the same time, and then we’re running out the door.