Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
A shley
Liam and I talk for another hour or so before I start to worry that Lucy might still be up and coming to conclusions in that seventeen-year-old brain of hers.
We make our way back to camp, whispering softly and milking our time with slow, lazy paces. As we part ways at the tent, he reaches over and presses a warm, lingering kiss to my cheek.
“Sweet dreams, Ashley,” he says in a whisper against my skin. “Don’t forget me.”
The comment floods me with nostalgia and all those first-love feels. On our fourth date, we got into a fender bender. The incident was minor, but a snow sled from the back seat struck me in the head during the impact, so I was rushed to the hospital for an exam.
My parents showed up and insisted on driving me home. Liam was in the room when the doctor gave them strict instructions to wake me up every few hours and check my pupils for any sort of concussion. After I was buckled into the backseat of my parents’ car, feeling embarrassed and chagrined, Liam pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Don’t forget me,” he said so fervently my heart nearly broke and then lovingly closed the door.
Concussion or not, I could never forget Liam Wheaton. And as invested as I was in my marriage, as much as I loved Ross and enjoyed being married to him, there were times I involuntarily dreamed of Liam’s kiss in my sleep, my subconscious mind working to keep the promise I made clear back then.
A promise he often repeated after kissing me goodnight at the doorstep. “Don’t forget me.”
I didn’t let the occasional dreams disrupt my course. I was a loyal and faithful wife with a heart only for the man I married. Of course, I came to realize that he didn’t have a heart for me in return, that he was too into himself to be bothered with things that mattered to the woman raising his children.
Eventually, after a year and a half of counseling, we decided to split ways. He didn’t want to be married to some changed version of me who stood up for herself like the therapist suggested, which messes with my mind even still. I sensed it myself, sensed that his attraction seemed to hinge on my level of cooperation. The having-a-voice side of me wasn’t attractive to him. He needed someone willing to bend over backward at every turn.
The trouble was, I had bent more than enough. I was all but broken.
It was a slow process, resulting in one year of separation while living under the same roof. The divorce proceedings followed, and once that was said and done, we moved back to Virginia. So, while the divorce was finalized around six months ago, our marriage has been over for closer to two years.
Still, I’m not thinking about Ross anymore when I drift off to sleep. I’m not thinking about him when I wake up and spend the morning preparing a craft table for the younger kids while the older kids and most of the parents go tubing.
Liam, whose daughter was supposed to be here by noon, paces back and forth alongside the parking lot as he waits for her to come. I can see him from my spot in the campsite, similar to the way I spotted him when I first arrived, but from an alternate point of view. He appears beyond the building, shaking his head and tapping his phone screen, and then disappears for a while before pacing back again.
I can’t help but feel his pain as I consider Lucy standing me up for an event like this. Of course, we’ve had our issues; she’s acted like a teenager since she turned nine years old. Still, Liam’s daughter Callie is two years older than Lucy. According to him, her behavior started to shift when he and Gabrielle got divorced, but it’s been increasingly worse in the last few months. Inwardly, I lift a prayer that Callie will show up. That she won’t break her dad‘s heart and that she’ll have a good attitude when and if she comes. Then, I add one last plea: Lord, please don’t let Lucy treat me like that one day. I get a short assurance that, even if she does, I’ll be able to love her through it the way Liam is.
The final tubing group is about to take off. The first two groups already left, the last one spaced out to give the group before them time to get farther ahead. The kids and I are with this group, that is, if I’m brave enough to go, as well as Liam’s nephews and son. He’d planned it that way so Callie and her boyfriend could join them. Looks like that might not happen.
“Hey, Martin,” I call while helping the small group paint their birdhouses. “What time is it?”
He checks his watch. “12:30.”
Cam, who’s standing next to Martin, shakes his head. “She’s not gonna come.”
I don’t want to interfere, but I’m afraid he may be right. I also imagine that if Liam misses the last run because of Callie, Cam will be sore at his sister and Liam.
“Hey, will you guys come keep an eye on the craft group for a minute?” I ask.
I’m referring mainly to Martin and Lucy, who are chatting with a group nearby, but Cam, Parker, and Jack come along too.
“Thanks. I’ll be right back.” I hurry up the trail to where Liam is no longer pacing. He’s staring at the parking lot while shaking his head and muttering under his breath.
“Hey,” I say softly from behind.
Liam glances over his shoulder at me.
“I know you’re waiting for Callie to come?—”
“Not anymore. She says something’s wrong with Link’s car. Since they’re at her mother’s, who happens to be gone right now, they don’t have another car. Not that I know whether what she’s telling me is true, but either way, they’re not coming.”
“I’m sorry,” I say. “That’s disappointing.”
“Yep. Guess the show must go on.” Liam walks toward his truck, which is parked in a shady spot along the edge of the lot. He pops open the door and tosses his phone into the glovebox. Without so much as a warning, he tears off his T-shirt and tosses that on the seat.
Whoa, Liam’s got abs for days. Months. Years . I clear my throat as my face flushes pink and tear my gaze off the glorious sight. Not like he’s naked or anything, I tell my bashful side. From his triangular-shaped waist and up, he is bare, sure, but a pair of swim trunks hang low on his hips. He brushes past me to hurry down the trail where the boys are waiting.
I stand in place, still a bit dazzled by the unexpected view of Liam’s bare chest, wondering if he realizes I came up here for him. Did he think I was heading to the bathrooms or what?
The sound of his footsteps, which were once fading, grow stronger once more, and suddenly Liam appears at the top of the trail.
“Sorry,” he says, “I thought you were following me.” He motions to the trail and steps aside. “You coming back down?”
I nod and clear my throat. “Yeah, I’m coming.” I walk past him, half-looking, half-not, as I head down the trail in front of him.
“All this because I took my shirt off, huh?” he says from behind.
I gasp, feeling caught. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Sure you do. The sight must have put you under some sort of spell. You might have just stood there all day if I hadn’t gone back for you.”
I laugh out loud now. “Confident, aren’t you?”
“About some things, yes,” he admits.
And for good reason, but I don’t bother telling him that. I also don’t mention that I texted Ross last night about my broken teeth. When I assured him the tooth chips were soaking in a marked container of milk in the cooler, Ross texted me back saying saliva is better than milk and that if I really want the restoration to take, I should tuck the tooth bits under my tongue for safe keeping until I get back.
That sounds easy enough, right? Hah, yeah, they’ll stay in the milk, thank you very much.
Just as we make it back to camp, Annica leads a drenched group from the riverside. Excited chatter carries over the site as they pile innertubes and guiding sticks onto a tarp in the clearing.
“How was it?” Martin asks one of the kids and his dad.
Wayne, who’s decided to own his boxer mishap by wearing the pair over his swim trunks for the ride, is first to respond. “Awesome!”
A group of kids answer next. “So fun! It gets fast in some places, so you’ll want to use the stick to push yourself from the branches so they don’t pop your tube.”
The sticks they’re referring to look like the staff of Moses—sturdy, tall, and bound to hold up under pressure.
“Good to know,” Martin says.
“Man, I can’t wait,” Cam adds before catching eyes with his dad. “No show?” he asks, and I realize he’s referring to Callie.
Liam shakes his head. “Link’s car broke down, but that’s not going to stop us from having a good time, right?”
“Right.” Cam joins the rest of the group as they pick out their sticks and tubes. They’re going fast. Maybe if I hold back, they’ll run out, and I won’t have to go. I head over to the craft table to check in with the kids, though one of the moms has already taken over.
Annica rushes up to me while running fingers through her dripping hair, her cheeks flushed from exertion. She looks me up and down. “I hope you have a swimsuit on under that, because you’re about to get drenched.”
I glance down at my cutoff jeans and tank top. “Yeah, I have a swimsuit on, but I was thinking, if you need me here, I can stay?—”
“Nope,” she says, “I’ve got it covered, sis.”
I should want to go on this, but after seeing one too many whitewater rafting movies, I’m lowkey terrified. Still, I was assured that this would be nothing like what I’d seen on the big screen. In fact, this is mostly a lazy river with a few whitewater spots along the way. Plus, we’ll each have our own tube.
“Let’s move, group number three,” Annica hollers. “Grab a tube and head on up to the lot. Elijah should be there waiting with the trolley.” She bumps me before nodding toward the dwindling pile where only three remain. Then two. Then one. I glance around to see that Liam doesn’t have one yet, either.
“Oh, looks like we ran out of tubes,” I say, trying not to sound too pleased. “Who else still needs a tube?”
“Just you guys,” Annica says. “And we have more we can blow up if we need to.”
“That one’s yours,” Liam says. He lifts his chin and inspects the area like something’s lost. “Where’s Bessie?”
Annica chuckles. “You brought Bessie again this year?”
“Who’s Bessie?” I ask.
“You’ll see.” Liam disappears into the trees. When he comes back, he’s toting a black and white cow-print swim tube with a cow head. “ This is Bessie.”
The contrast between muscled Liam and that doe-eyed cow with its long lashes and pink accents makes me smile. “You are not going down the river in that.”
“Oh, but I am,” he says proudly. “Unless you’d like to ride her…” Liam acts like he’s about to hand it over, which is enough for me to snatch the final tube off the tarp.
“No thanks, I think I’ll stick with this industrial strength number and leave the pool floatie to you. I’ve seen those things implode before, and it’s not pretty.”
Liam scoffs and puffs his chest. “Implode…” He strokes the cow’s head with his cheek. “Rumors. Terrible rumors, Bessie, don’t you even listen.”
I recall the video clip Lucy showed me. A guy’s tube popped—having got jabbed by a sharp branch by the looks of it, and the man got sucked right inside the tube and pulled under the water. Not forever, of course, but when it came back up, he looked like he’d just gone through the birth canal. All matted hair and red-faced fear.
Liam hands me a guiding stick, and we follow the crowd toward the parking lot.
“Have fun, guys,” Annica says in a sing-song voice behind us.
“Thanks.” Liam bumps my shoulder. “We will.”
As soon as I plunk onto the tube and start drifting down the river, I’m glad I came. The water is cool where my torso and my heels reach, and the sun counters that with its warm, sunshiny rays.
A pair of single parents lead the group up front, so Liam and I agree to take the rear to ensure there aren’t any stragglers. For a while, my kids, Cam, and Liam’s nephews stay with us. I can’t believe Liam’s pool floatie is actually doing the trick. It seems thinner than the others, and I have to think it wouldn’t take much to pop it.
Still, it makes for great fodder for all the jokes:
“ Hey, mooove over.”
“ Stop getting fresh with Bess and keep up with the group, will you?”
“I’m thirsty; got milk?”
Already, it seems word is spreading around camp that Liam and I are into each other. While I’m mainly glad about that—I don't want other women hitting on him–I’m apprehensive, too. It makes me worry we’re moving too fast.
I consider that as we let the kids go on ahead of us. Liam and I chat as we float along a calm stretch of the river.
Squinting against the sun, I push myself away from a cluster of trees along the edge and bounce gently off a large rock. When Liam brings up the thing with Callie, I realize how much it’s bothering him, and I’m glad he knows he can trust me with the topic.
He shrugs and shakes his head. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I know I can’t control her at this age, which is fine, I don’t want to, but I just wish she wanted to spend time with me, you know? I can’t help but wonder how and when I became someone she didn’t want to be around.”
I feel the pain in those words. “That must be a tough transition,” I say, feeling very glad that, for now, Lucy and Martin still enjoy spending time with me.
“She used to be a total daddy’s girl,” Liam adds, his neck stretched far back while he faces the sun with closed eyes. “I loved that.”
“What are some of your fondest memories with her?“
Liam’s guiding himself away from the shrubs on the other side. “Probably taking her fishing. She used to beg to get up on my shoulders and look down at the water from way up high. She’d squeal and scream every time one of us caught a fish. There was just…so much joy in that little face of hers, it put me over the moon.”
“I’m sure this is just temporary,” I say, hoping very much that it’s true. “When Lucy turned thirteen, she went through a phase that I thought would kill us both. Drama, trauma, friend-shifts, boys. She’d cry at the drop of a dime and slam doors like it was an art form. When she turned fifteen, she did a similar thing, only at that time, it felt more personal. Luckily, she came around.”
“That’s good,” Liam says. “Thanks. It’s good for me to hear that. I think you’re right. I hope you are. All I can do is hold onto my little friend, Bessie, and go with the flow.” He drifts back to me and stretches his arm out.
He reaches just far enough for us to hold hands. “This feels good,” he says. “I always loved holding your hand.”
The comment causes a pleasant pull low in my tummy and a thrill high in my chest. “Me too,” I admit.
Suddenly, the group ahead of us grows louder with hollers and hoots of excitement.
“It sounds as if danger is afoot," Liam says with an accent that makes him sound like a knight. “Stick with me, Princess. I’ll keep you safe.”
A bolt of adrenaline shoots through me as I recognize the voices of my own kids among the chatter.
"Cowabunga!" Martin calls. Sounds of rushing water grow louder, echoing from around the bend. I hear Lucy squeal, a noise that quickly turns into giggling. She squeals yet again, and I hear Martin say, "Watch out, here comes another one!"
"Okay," Liam says, still channeling that knight-in-shining-armor tone. “Just around this bend, there are a couple of fast-moving falls. They’re shallow, so nothing to worry about, but it can get a little wild. Between the rocks in the center and the shrubs along the edges, you’ve got to keep an eye out so your tube doesn't pop.”
“I’m more worried about your tube,” I admit.
“Not to worry, love,” he says proudly. “I know how to ride this thing, even when she misbehaves.”
I laugh, nerves battling with a youthful anticipation. When I was young, I loved stuff like this. Amusement park thrills were among my favorites; it didn’t matter how fast, how high, or how terrifying. If the ride was there, I’d take it.
The water is growing even louder now. I lean to see around the bend, excitement welling in my chest.
Liam releases my hand. "Here, take hold of your stick with both hands and go just ahead of me so I can make sure you're safe. I'll stay close, but you don't want me and Bessie weighing you down. Don't tell her I said this, but she's getting a little fat."
I grin, take my stick with both hands, and focus on the glistening falls ahead. It does drop off, probably two to three feet, from the looks of what lies beyond, but I can't exactly be sure from this perspective. All I know is that the kids made it through just fine, so I'm going to enjoy it.
I get closer to the edge of the falls, where the water is white and foamy against my feet, alerting me of what's to come. I balance on the edge for just a moment, then use my stick to nudge myself, ever so gently, over the crucial edge.
The water does the rest, pulling me down with a great whoosh and earning a delighted squeal.
"That's my girl!” Liam belts out a yelp as he crashes down behind me. "Woo hoo, what a ride!"
My smile is as wide as my face. I can feel it. I shake my head to clear the droplets from my lashes and prepare for more of the same.
"Okay, Ash, get ready because we’re going to hit two more of those babies, back to back. We call it the double dip. You ready?"
Exhilaration shoots through me from head to water-drenched foot. My smile can't get any wider. "I'm ready, baby! Let's do it!"
I use the stick to push off, and ride on the crest of the crashing waves. Soon, I spot them, the two falls. This time, the fear is gone. I push off from the riverbed, propelling myself faster, and go speeding toward the first dip— splash —down the second dip— splash —and let out another squeal as water rushes in from every angle, leaving me drenched and delighted and giggling like a child.
It’s deeper here at the base, a fact I realize when my stick no longer reaches the bottom. Fortunately, the river isn’t moving much. It seems to slow in the wake of the dips, allowing me to easily spin around and watch for Liam as he approaches the falls himself.
“Nice job, Mama,” I hear Lucy say. At first, I think she’s ahead of me on the river, but it doesn’t take long for me to realize that the group is now standing along the edge; we’ve officially made it back to camp. This is where we get off.
“Go, Dad!” Cam calls.
“Woo hoo,” his nephew Parker hollers next. “Uncle Liam and Bessie are at the double dip!”
Liam, who always knew how to ham it up in front of a crowd, rises to the occasion. It’s his chance to perform, something I bet he did often to make his kids laugh when they were little.
I laugh, too, watching as he swings one arm wildly overhead like he's about to hogtie a rowdy buck. He clutches his beast around the neck, and I realize he’s abandoned his stick.
“Giddy up, Bessie, giddy up!" Even as he says it, I am urging myself away from the leafy twigs and branches, keeping my tube in the clear.
Liam lets out another yelp as he drops down one with a mighty splash. The group cheers in response as he’s thrust down the next fall where the water is deeper and the fall is greater, I realize from this point of view.
Maybe it’s just that he caught more air than I did; I’m not exactly sure. All I know is that a loud boom sounds when he lands. Suddenly, Bessie grows bigger, seeming to split open and turn in on itself, devouring its occupant whole. Liam is thrust beneath the splashing currents, leaving a view on the surface that looks like a massive belly button.
"Liam!” I gasp.
I don’t register what’s happening until the sight becomes oddly familiar. As in, the-video-clip-Lucy-showed-me familiar.
A loud rumble sounds like the deep belly of a beast. And suddenly, the scene of Liam landing plays out in reverse as he gets thrust up and out of the puckered spot on the surface with a jolt.
Liam scrambles to his feet and pats around the area before him, eyes wide and surprised. What’s left of Bessie shrivels in on itself, the lifeless corpse circling the spot like it’s headed down a drain. Liam circles in place as well, just missing it as he turns. At last, he stops and looks at me, alarmed.
"Where she’d go?"
I assume he's looking for Bessie at her full and glorious size—the prized pool floaty she was meant to be.
I pull a cringe face and point to the sad remains now floating downstream.
Liam throws his head back. "Dang it, Bessie, we were supposed to make it through this together."