Chapter 22
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
L iam
"Well, put this one in the history books, folks," Luke grumbles as he circles the rim of his mug with his finger. "Lamest bachelor party in history."
Beau chuckles easily as he motions for the waiter, who's glancing about the place with a tray of food.
"I wouldn't so much call this a bachelor party," Beau says, "as I would a celebration dinner with my brothers." With that, he extends his glass toward the center of the table, and the rest of us follow suit.
"To brotherhood; may each of us find what we’re looking for.”
“And,” Braxton adds, “may the Wheaton brothers remain the best-looking brutes in the bunch no matter how old and gray we get." He chuckles, and we all clink glasses, except for Luke, who yanks his back with a puffed chest.
"I'm young at heart forever, boys, and I can still get the younger chicks to prove it."
Braxton shoots Luke a scowl. "The younger chicks are the easiest ones to get. I wouldn’t brag about that if I were you."
"Yeah," Beau agrees. "Talk to us when you're mature enough to score a real woman. A wise woman. A woman who doesn't think teenage bad-boy behavior is like…” He flicks his head. “ So cool .”
Luke rolls his eyes. "Tsk, whatever."
They’re right, though. There’s nothing more exciting than gaining the love and affection of a grown woman like Ashley Chen.
The waiter brings our food to the table, which effectively silences the group of hungry men for a while.
Braxton is the first one to break the silence. "You've been pretty quiet over there tonight, Liam. You holding up all right?"
"Sure, he's all right,” Luke says for me. “Cuz he’s got a hot date lined up the night after tomorrow. Jessica and Nellie." He pops his eyebrows and grins.
I can't explain the dread and disappointment that Luke's reminder triggers in me. When the two of us talked about it over bowling, I felt confident that Ashley would come to her senses and see that she was pushing me away for no reason. Or at least, for no reason that I can understand or see.
I figured we'd at least get a chance to talk it out and, if nothing else, end things on a civil note, not as erratically as we did twenty-something years ago.
It sucks because as incredible as Ashley is, there's something in her that holds her back. Something in her that needs to be addressed, healed, fixed, whatever the terminology is. I hate saying that she needs help, but she needs help. And who’s to say that’s such a bad thing anyway? I needed help. I still do. But at least I’m doing the work. And if she thinks I have a whole lot more work to do, then she’ll have to do enough of her own dang work and actually communicate that to me.
I stare at a condensation ring on the table, contemplating my crummy reality.
So is this what's going to happen? Ashley and I will just never see each other again, and she’ll keep living some stupid dictated life under her ex-husband's authority until some other controlling D-bag comes along?
Why is she pushing away a man who wants to respect her and let her have a voice? Heck, next thing I know, I’ll hear she’s fallen for Luke. He’d be happy to boss her around for the rest of his life.
That is if he could stay with someone for the rest of his life. Heaven help him. Heaven help me . Heaven help us all.
It comes to my attention that the guys are still talking about this potential date. "Which one of you will be with Jessica, and which one will be with Nellie?" Braxton asks.
Luke shrugs. "I've already had my turn with both of them. Which one do you want?"
I blink as he stares at me from across the table. "Neither."
"Hey now,” Luke says disapprovingly. “A deal’s a deal, brother. You can't back out on me now. You can't turn back into Mr. Hurting Heart."
"I didn't say I'm not going. You asked me which one I wanted , and I answered honestly. Jessica is not my type, and Nellie…” I shake my head, assuming I don't have to elaborate.
"Nellie gets around too much?" Braxton fills in for me. Even he knows.
"Well, that's the difference between you and me, isn't it, Liam?” Luke says proudly. “Because I, for one, never see that as a downside."
"Of course you wouldn't.” The next song catches my attention and reminds me that since the food is gone, we can get up and move, specifically, away from this irritating conversation.
I turn to Braxton and Beau and nod to the dance floor. "What are we waiting for? Let's get out there and dance. This is your song, isn't it?"
It's not Beau’s favorite song, but it is, in fact, a line dance number he perpetually poked fun at when we were young. And the fact is, it seems fitting that we embrace it, get out on the dance floor, and have a good time.
Like Beau said, tonight is a celebration of brotherhood. A celebration that at least one of us, well actually two, are engaged to the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with.
The hour gets later, and the music grows louder. We don't plan to stay late or anything, so it doesn't hurt for me to give it my all and give Beau the kind of night he was hoping for.
After a handful of songs, Beau and I clear the dance floor and head to the bar for another drink, anything without alcohol since the night’s winding down and we’re both driving home.
Beau shoulders up to the bar next to me as we wait for our Cokes. He shakes his head and smears a hand down his face. "Man, I feel so freaking lucky to be marrying Kirsten tomorrow. I can't wait."
I give him a slap on the back. "I'm happy for you, man. As crazy as that whole thing was—with Trish and Kirsten's ex, you two are coming out on top."
Beau sniffs and nudges me in the shoulder, which is code for don't make me get emotional in public.
We get our Cokes, and Beau holds up his glass for another toast. I watch his face as he works on the words, his gaze seeming to get stuck somewhere close to, but not quite on, the dance floor.
Maybe I'm the one who’s supposed to give the toast, I decide.
So I do. "To second chances and lasting love for each of us when the time is right."
Beau's gaze settles back on mine. A slight grin pulls at the corner of his lips. "When the time is right."
With that, we clink glasses and take a few swigs. Beau sets his glass back on the bar and looks at me once more. “Speaking of timing, I have a feeling that Ashley will be ready to talk things out soon and that you two will get past this."
I feel the truth in those words because, man, I love her, and I know she loves me.
I nod, look down, and sniff while giving Beau the shoulder bump this time.
"Well,” I say, “I don't want to hold my breath, but I'm not giving up hope yet, even if I do get stuck going on some double date with Luke."
Suddenly, a darkness creeps over me. What if that wasn’t the truth I was sensing with Beau’s words? What if it was straight-out delusion?
I gulp down the possibility like a jagged pill, then tell myself that if Ashley doesn’t come around, I’ll move on somehow and hopefully find what Braxton and Beau have found. Still, the mere idea of loving anyone but Ashley makes me feel like a fraud.
"You ready to get back out there?” Beau asks. “They’re playing your song."
I can hardly believe my ears as I tune into the familiar melody blasting over the bar. Beau could never have known it, but this was the very song playing on the night I tried to stop Ashley from marrying Ross.
“Yeah," I say, forcing a crooked grin. Inwardly, I feel like one of the bowling pins in the path of Luke’s killer spin ball. The room actually spins as the beat plays on, the background music to the replay in my mind: to the desperation coursing through me as I attempted to get Ashley back all those years ago. Sure, Club 12 has been remodeled since then, but so many things are exactly the same—the sights, the smells, heck, even the music now.
"You go on ahead," I tell Beau. "I'll catch up with you guys in a minute." I'm tempted to drag one of the barstools over, plunk my butt onto it, and let the moment, the sorrow, and the acceptance burn through me like a refining fire. Heck, I could start a whole new bar tab and wallow in my feels until closing time. Sure, I’m no longer Liam Hurt Heart, but I still have to accept that Ashley may never come around.
But, I assure myself, this is not the time. I need to push through. When I get home, I'll flush it out with a midnight trip to the gym. Then, I'll show up for Beau's wedding tomorrow and do my best to celebrate with him there, too.
I spin around and head for the dance floor, vaguely feeling as if I'm walking through a field of ashes. The burnt remains of my hopes for a future with Ashley. I can't believe I actually have to accept it a second time. I loved her, and I lost her. I loved her again, and I –
"Umph," comes a female voice as I walk right into someone just a few feet from the dance floor.
I’m struck by a phantom scent of Ashley, tangy sweet like apples, and know my mind’s messing with me.
But my eyes must be deceiving me, too, because that silky black hair and the adorably short height have me wondering if I accidentally got the wrong drink. One with a double shot, maybe.
I reach around the woman's small frame and cup her elbows to apologize over the noise. "I'm sorry,” I say. “I didn't see you there."
But as I pull back and as she looks up, I realize that I haven't been tricked at all. My senses were spot on about the scent, the sight, and the height of the woman I ran into.
"Liam," she says, sounding out of breath.
"Ashley?" I sound as shocked as I am. "What are you doing here?"
Quickly then, I search the room for any signs of Ross or a possible date or a group of women who happen to be gathered for her second bachelorette party. She’s not wearing a bridal sash, at least.
She leans in to speak close to my ear. " Hey, I heard you were going to be here tonight, and I came here because I have something to tell you.”
I’m about to get psyched over the fact that Ashley actually showed up here for me, but my inner coach blows the whistle. “Slow it down,” he cautions , “you can’t be so sure.”
Ashley continues, “I want you to know that…if I lost you now, it would be the biggest regret of my life.”
That one hits me hard. The words are more than familiar, and I can’t help but feel that we’re rewriting history right here and now. Seeing what it would be like if the outcome on that fated day had been different. Coach gives me the go-ahead with a proud nod.
“I know Beau’s getting married tomorrow,” she says, “and that you probably already have another date, but if there is any doubt in that handsome head of yours…”
She tugs onto the front of my shirt and speaks very close to my ear as I lean slightly lower. “If you’ve spent sleepless nights like I have, wondering what could be between us, then I'm begging you to tell that girl to take a hike and consider taking me instead.”
She pulls back enough to look me in the eye. A soft smile curves her lips as those gorgeous brown wonders reflect light from the dance floor.
I nod, possibly letting a grin pull at one or both sides of my mouth as I take it in. “I’ll definitely consider canceling my date, but she’ll be terribly disappointed. She might even hunt you down and bite your leg.”
Ashley’s face scrunches. “Who’s your date?”
“Fifi,” I say with a grin.
Ashley swats my arm, then leans in once more, pressing herself on her tiptoes until her warm breath tickles my skin. "Can we go somewhere and talk?"
I glance to the dancefloor to see Beau, Braxton, and Luke in a huddle, looking our way.
I jam a thumb toward the door. "You guys mind if I take off?” I holler, figuring that between reading my lips and body language, they’ll get the gist.
Beau and Braxton give Ashley a wave while Luke nods and gives a thumbs up in approval. When I slide my arm around Ashley’s lower back, I hear their hoots and cheers behind us.
It’s surreal and therapeutic and more rewarding than I can say, walking out of the club after a long, discouraging night—this time with Ashley by my side.
We take my car and leave her Camry in the lot for now. We head to a nearby lookout where I pull a blanket from the trunk and spread it out for us to sit, talk, and take in the view of the ocean.
Ashley tells me about the discovery she made. She explains how she came to the conclusion, too—saying she knew she loved me, and she knew she was pushing me away, but she just couldn’t figure out why.
“Until it hit me,” she says. “I’m still processing it, honestly. But I knew if there was any chance I could be with you—and that’s definitely what I want—that I’d have to figure out what was getting in my way and why.”
I feed off every detail, fascinated by the way she narrowed the issue down to the incident in her past. I’m intrigued by the way she sought to carry out the pattern in her young life and how it’s carried all the way through to the present.
It seems that—so long as someone was there to assert their preference or take the lead, she was happy. Or at least comfortable to a degree.
“I thought I’d be able to change my whole life after seeing that video clip Lucy showed me,” Ashley says, reminding me of the just-say-yes TikTok. “But all that did was make me realize how badly I wanted to change. It revealed this whole list of things I was putting on hold, waiting for someone equally invested to give me the okay.”
She curls into me and rests her head on my shoulder. I smooth my hand over her hair, loving her warmth, her fragrance, her honesty, her everything.
“I love you,” I rasp, burying my nose in her hair and breathing her in. “I’m glad you didn’t forget me.”
Ashley pulls back and locks her eyes on me. “Never.” She presses her full lips on mine in a strong, driven kiss that has me shifting position quickly.
We move until we’re both on our sides, bodies lined up, my legs sandwiching hers. I slide my hand along her neck and deepen the kiss with a groan. Suddenly, Ashley’s pushing my shoulders until I’m flat on my back. She glides effortlessly over me and proceeds to study my face in the moonlight. If this is her way of asserting herself, I may like this even more than I thought.
“I love you, Liam,” she says in a whisper. “Thanks for…” she dies off there and shakes her head absently, her gaze shifting to the view. When she sets her eyes back on me, the words come out with new certainty. “For being someone that I can trust. And for being someone who trusts me. I’m finally learning to do that, too.”
“I’m glad,” I say, my mind drifting to the list she’s been wanting to tackle. She must read my thoughts because she speaks up once more.
“I’m ready to look at places, I think,” she says.
I lift a brow. “You think?”
She giggles and nods. “I know. The kids are behind it. I worried they’d be upset about changing schools, but they’re glad since they’ll be in the same district as the Wheaton boys.”
I grin. “Lucy wants to be where the Wheaton boys are too?”
“She likes spending time with them,” Ashley replies.
“And they like spending time with her and Martin too.” I cup my hands around her waist and give her the lightest tug. “I know you’re on a whole doing-stuff-yourself-thing,” I say, “which I support, but if you wanted a little help telling Ross you’re not going to work for him anymore, I know a guy.”
Ashley laughs. “Good to know. I’ll keep that in mind.”
“You could at least record it, couldn’t you?” I laugh because I know I’m being petty. I just want to see that guy’s face when he finally finds out he’s not going to be able to control Ashley anymore. Not because I want any control over her myself. She’s right—I trust that she can do a fine job of that herself.
And I’ll be in charge of me. Starting with another tug of encouragement to get Ashley’s mouth back on mine.
It works, and soon, we’re locked in a celebratory kiss I could bask in forever.
We haven’t hit our happily ever after just yet, but something tells me we’re well on our way.