Chapter 31 Rose
ROSE
Ichoked back my tears as I stumbled through the castle, my eyes blurring as I tried to find my way back to my room.
I knew Raith didn’t mean what he’d said, but his words still hurt…
and perhaps there was some truth to them.
We’d shared something intimate last night, but that didn’t mean he loved me or that he ever would.
Maybe he was too broken after Silena’s death, and no matter how hard I tried to tear down his walls he would only erect new ones.
But I would keep trying, no matter how much it hurt.
I didn’t know what else to do. I loved him, even if he didn’t love me in return.
And no matter what he said, I knew in my heart he couldn’t defeat the darkness inside him without my help.
I came to an abrupt halt when I rounded a corner and nearly collided with Oren, whose face was flushed as though he’d been rushing around. I quickly brushed a hand across my cheek to wipe away any remaining tears. “Oren, is everything all right?”
“I’ve been looking for you.” He held out a small envelope with a snowflake seal in the royal blue of Talador. “An urgent message arrived from your sister, Princess Lily.”
I frowned as I opened the seal, removed the letter, and began to read—but as I did, the tears returned to my eyes.
My father was sick, Lily wrote. He’d fallen into a sudden coma and no one could get him to awaken, nor could figure out what ailed him.
Every day his breathing grew weaker and his skin paler.
She urged me to come home immediately, before it was too late.
“I must go,” I told Oren, who only nodded as I raced away. The letter had been sent days ago, and I had to hurry.
I fled to my bedroom, grabbed my thicker cloak from my closet and whisked it about my shoulders, then switched my muddy slippers for some heavier boots.
With the wards still down, I closed my eyes and focused on the castle where I’d grown up as I gathered the darkness around me.
Within seconds, I felt the air grow bitterly cold and the scent of frost filled my nose, and when I opened my eyes, I was outside in the forest where I’d first met Raith.
Teleporting anywhere closer would have been too difficult with the castle’s wards, as Raith had told me back then.
I shivered as I made my way toward Winton Castle, my boots crunching through the snow.
How quickly I’d grown used to the relative warmth of Ilidan and forgotten how cold my childhood home could be.
I started to draw the rune for fire, but then remembered where I was.
Magic was still banned in Talador, even if the King was ill.
The guards took notice of me as I approached, and by the time I stepped inside the white walls of the castle, Aunt Dahlia was already waiting for me. She wore a gray mourning veil, and I choked back a sob at the sight of it. I was already too late.
Her eyes were rimmed with pain and exhaustion as she threw her arms around me. “You came.”
I pressed my face into her shoulder, hugging her tight. “I left as soon as I received the message, but I wasn’t fast enough.”
“I’m sorry, Rose. He passed this morning. There was nothing we could do.” She patted my back, her voice heavy with sadness. “Come, I’ll take you to him.”
As we moved through the castle, I saw other tell-tale signs of grief. Somber gray clothes, eyes cast downward, and a quiet hush that had befallen everyone, as if speaking too loudly might disturb the dead. I struggled to hold myself together as we kept walking.
“Where are your things?” Dahlia asked. “And what happened to your gown?”
I glanced down at myself and saw what she meant. My dress was ripped and covered in dirt and grass stains from fighting Raith earlier. “I didn’t bring anything. I was in such a rush I teleported here immediately.”
Her eyebrows darted up. “You teleported?”
“Yes, Raith has been teaching me magic.”
“I want to hear all about your past few weeks in Ilidan. Later, of course.”
My throat clenched. I couldn’t think about Ilidan and Raith right now. “Of course.”
We stopped outside the heavy double doors that led to my father’s private chambers, which I’d been inside only a handful of times.
A guard opened them for us, and we entered a room darkened by thick curtains, with only a few flickering candles around my father’s bed to light the way.
His skin was as white as the walls of the palace, and his eyes were closed and sunken.
Lily sat beside him with her head bowed, the gray veil covering much of her features.
Keane stood against the wall a few feet away, watching over her as always.
She jumped up when she saw me and rushed into my arms with a soft cry. “Oh, Rose. Thank the Sun and Moon you’re here.”
“I’m here. I only wish I’d made it in time to say goodbye.” I clutched her tightly as emotion made my eyes fill with tears again.
“I’ll leave the two of you alone to grieve,” Dahlia said, before exiting the room.
I squeezed Lily again and then finally released her. “How did this happen?”
“No one knows. It came on suddenly after dinner one night. The medics thought it could be poison…or magic. But nothing they tried helped him, and every day he grew weaker and weaker until he was gone.” She swallowed, her face stoic, though I saw the grief in her eyes.
“At least he went quietly in his sleep without any pain.”
I nodded, wiping at my face. “How are you doing? And the other girls?”
“As well as can be expected,” she said. “Our sisters each mourn in their own way. I’ve been trying to hold myself together for their sakes, but I must confess I’ve been falling apart the second I’m alone.”
“Of course you are. You always look after us.” I hugged her again, trying to send some strength into her thin frame. “But you don’t have to be strong for me, Lily. Just let it out.”
“Thank you, Rose.” She leaned against me for a moment, then sighed and wiped at her eyes as she pulled back. “The entire kingdom is going to be watching me, and I need to be strong. I’m going to be queen soon, after all.”
It didn’t seem fair that she was forced to lead a kingdom while also grieving, but that was her duty. We were orphans now, and she would soon be coronated. She would undoubtedly be a better ruler than our father, but it still seemed too soon for this to happen.
I squeezed her hand. “Don’t worry about any of that just yet. Take it day by day. For now, you only need to grieve.”
She nodded and we sat beside our father’s body as she rested her head on my shoulder, her hands entwined with mine.
Tears rolled down my face as I thought of all the things I wished I’d said to Father before Raith had whisked me away to Ilidan.
I had so many regrets about the way we’d left things, and I wondered if he’d felt the same.
I wasn’t sure if we’d have ever been able to mend our relationship, but now I’d never have the chance to try.
It was a harsh reminder that life was short and fleeting, and I had a strong desire to run back to Raith to confess my feelings for him.
I stifled the urge immediately. Telling Raith how I felt would only make things worse.
No, it was better if he never knew the truth.
And though I worried about Ilidan, Raith refused to accept my help in stopping the darkness, and I’d grown weary of fighting with him about it.
I wasn’t giving up on him or on Ilidan, but I was needed here, and here I would stay. For now, at least.