Chapter Twenty-Three #2
Nodding, I grab her hand, and she squeezes mine and then pulls out of the parking space and heads for home.
I twist, facing the window, and watch as the streets of Adelaide pass me by.
The summer sky is bright blue, littered with fluffy white clouds.
The sun shines so brightly that its rays sparkle down on the green trees, with their leaf tips slightly burned.
Despite everything looking so beautiful, as if the world should be a happy place, I am wrapped in a haze of ominous black clouds.
They seem to hover around me, surrounding me in darkness, consuming me from outside in.
It is as though they are swirling around all my organs, squeezing them so tight that everything feels like it’s struggling to function.
My heart fights to beat, to pump blood and supply my life force, yet I feel like I’m fading, fading into obscurity, and I hate it.
It’s swallowing me whole.
DANGER
Early April
The last four weeks without Lunar by my side have been hell.
I’ve been drinking more.
Fighting with Nate because I can.
And my performance is lackluster at best.
We said we would talk when Lunar left, but we’ve hardly spoken. She’s been distancing herself from me for the good of the band, but she doesn’t need to do that.
I need her.
But I am wondering if she still needs me.
Hopefully, I’ll find out soon because I’m on my way to the foundation’s gala.
Recoil is playing, so I’m bound to see her.
I’m eager to be in the same room as Lunar again, finally.
I know things might be awkward, but even just being near her will give me a rush.
I miss her so fucking much, and the tension has been strange.
When I do manage to talk to her on the phone, she’s distant.
I fucking detest it.
I hate that she feels like she has to protect me from herself.
I wish there were something I could do.
I wish I knew what to do.
But no one is helping besides maybe Effa, whom I’ve been spending more and more time with during Lunar’s absence.
We’ve been collaborating on the duet, and with Lunar gone, she’s all I think about.
It’s as if her absence has opened the lyrical floodgates, and the words flow more easily because I am tapping into my emotions.
But it isn’t easy to write about someone, uncertain if they still feel the same way about you.
Either way, this song is bound to be a hit once we finalize it.
“You know Lunar’s going to be there, right?” Ryan asks, sitting beside me.
I take a deep breath and rub the back of my neck. “Yeah.”
“And are you going to cope with seeing her?”
“I have no fucking idea.” I look at Ryan, who’s frowning at me.
“Don’t fucking drink, okay? You’ve been hitting the bottle hard, and I don’t want you to make a dick of yourself if she doesn’t talk to you. She’s trying to protect the band. You’d do good to remember that, Danger.”
“Have you been talking to her?” I furrow my brows.
The way his brows crease together and he gnaws on his bottom lip tells me he’s been busted, but then he awkwardly clears his throat.
“Ryan?”
“Shit! Yes, okay? We talk, not often, maybe once or twice a week. She calls to check on you.”
Slumping, I lean back against the headrest. “Fucking hell… she does care.”
Ryan scoffs. “Of course she cares, dick. She doesn’t want to cause you issues when the shit is still hitting the damn fan.
Sure, it’s died down some, but she feels guilty as hell.
Some shit went down with her brother at the airport, and she doesn’t want more trouble because of her. She’s really torn up about it, man.”
I turn to Ryan. “What happened to Stuart?”
“The paps got snap happy, and he reacted. Had a meltdown in the airport, and Lunar punched a pap and smashed his camera.”
“What the fuck? Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
He shrugs. “It was all over the tabloids. If you watched it, you’d have seen.”
“That’s not the point, Ryan! You know I don’t watch that shit for a reason. Why didn’t you tell me, or more importantly, why didn’t she tell me?”
Ryan exhales with a grimace. “She told me not to worry you.”
I rub my face. “Fuck!”
Ryan pats my shoulder as we pull into the Doltone House at Hyde Park parking lot.
Kane opens the door, and I step out onto the red carpet with my heart pounding.
A barrier of ropes holds back a barrage of screaming fans before Ryan, Matt, and Nate step out of the car and join me down the red carpet.
We smile and stop along the way to pose for some photographs with the event’s official photographers and wave to the crowd while they scream at us.
I look over at one girl who’s crying, but then she smiles at me and quickly lifts her top, revealing very perky, braless tits.
I huff-laugh as they bounce along with her, and Ryan cheers, taking a photo with his cell.
Rolling my eyes, I turn to him and smack him upside the head. “Dude, she’s probably underage.”
“True, might delete that one. I have plenty more.”
I step into the vast expanse and follow the crowd before we enter the giant ballroom.
The sight before me is beyond my expectations.
I hadn’t expected such opulence. The venue is adorned in black and gold with glittering chandeliers suspended from the ceiling, casting an aura of elegance with a hint of masculinity.
It’s stylish and distinctly Lunar in its design, unlike the typical galas and events I see people attending.
This has her unmistakable flair all over it.
Ryan looks at me. “This place is fucking epic, dude. It screams Recoil.”
“Yeah. It does.” I glance around and think about the rock-and-roll vibe it exudes, and I like that she’s chosen something that fits entertainment rather than the typical gala atmosphere.
This is why Lunar is one of a kind. She thinks outside the box, and that’s why this foundation of hers will go places.
I’m going to make sure of that. I am proud of Lunar, and I hope to see her tonight to tell her just that.
We walk in and are directed to our front-row seats. The guys sit, grabbing their complimentary drinks while I survey the room. Everyone is dressed immaculately. I’ve gone all out and worn my black slacks, black shirt, leather jacket, and a sleek, thin black fucking tie—so not me.
My aim?
To impress her.
To make her as proud of me as I am of her.
But is she still my woman?
That’s a question I cannot answer.
My eyes shift around the buzzing room, taking in the women wearing elegant ball gowns in various designs, but they all look the same to me.
Pretty and overworked. Then I catch a glimpse of what can only be described as a heart-pounding, jaw-dropping, cock-twitching, body-tingling, soul-shaking beauty.
This sight before me twists my stomach. Annalise looks like a mother fucking princess, and I want to be her prince, whisking her away to our own kingdom and showering her in kisses all through the night.
Her dress is hot pink, accenting her colorful hair.
My mouth waters as I take in the V-neck plunge dipping between her tits.
It’s undeniably sexy yet elegant. The straps are covered in jewels, and the gown cinches tight around her waist, which is also glistening with sparkles.
The skirt flows out beautifully, making her look like she is floating across the damn floor like some goddess.
With one simple look, she steals my goddamned breath.
I continue to stare, mesmerized, and subtly shake my head in disbelief that she can still have this hold on me even after her absence. Her head falls back slightly when she laughs, talking to an older lady whom I can only assume is her mother by their similarities.
I can’t resist the temptation. “I’ll be back,” I murmur to Ryan. He glances at me, then follows my gaze, letting out a sigh.
“Don’t be a dick,” he calls out.
I head off through the crowd of people to get to her as quickly as humanly possible.
Lunar’s beauty is stunning. Her pink and yellow hair is pulled back into a messy up-do. I absolutely want to ravish her on top of one of these tables, but I know I have to behave.
She’s still talking to her mom and hasn’t seen my approach because her back is to me, so I figure I’ll make myself known to her.
“Hey,” I simply whisper against her ear. She stills like she knows my voice and is taking a second before she turns.
Her mother looks at me and smiles. Lunar slowly turns, and our eyes meet. Electricity crackles in the air, and every part of me wants to reach out and thrust my body against hers, then kiss her until I am breathless.
I’m unsure if she wants that, so I stay where I am with my heart bursting out of my chest at the sight of her large doe eyes staring at me while she licks her lips and half smiles.
“Hey,” she whispers back breathlessly, biting down on her bottom lip.
Not the jumping into my arms like I was hoping for, but at least it’s not a slap in the face.
An awkward tension fills the air as we continue to gaze at each other, and her mother clears her throat, which makes us both look at her.
“Shit, sorry! Mum, this is Danger. Danger, this is Mum or Jackie.”
Extending my hand to Jackie, I flash my most charming smile, causing a slight blush of red. Seems Lunar’s mom is affected by my smile, too. “Pleasure to meet you, Jackie. Stuart isn’t here?” I inquire and immediately notice Lunar’s frown.
“As much as I would love him to be here, ’cause this is all for him, it would be too much. The people, the noise, it just won’t work. He’s at home with a carer,” Lunar tells me.
“Shame… would’ve loved to have met him.” I smile. “But so glad to have finally met the woman who made Annalise into the amazing person she is today.”
Jackie tilts her head. “Well, I think Alise made herself into who she is today.”
“Alise? Is that your nickname?” I ask, and she smiles.
“It’s what Stuart calls me. He can’t say Annalise.”
A genuine smile lights my face. “I like it.”
She swallows hard, looking down at my clothes. “You scrub up well.”
“I should have said that to you first. You are utterly stunning, babe. I can’t take my eyes off you.”
She looks away from me, her cheeks flushing a bright shade of pink.
“Annalise, there’s a problem with the vegetarian orders in the kitchen. Can we talk to you?” a man asks, interrupting our moment.
She looks up and nods. “Sure, I’ll be right there.” Lunar turns back to me and takes a deep breath, looking into my eyes. “It was so good to see you.”
I open my mouth to explain that I’ve missed her like crazy, but she hurries off before a single word escapes my lips. I exhale heavily, feeling deflated that I missed the chance to discuss us.
“She hasn’t stopped talking about you, you know?” Jackie says, breaking through my inner turmoil.
I raise an eyebrow, glancing back at Lunar’s mom. “She hasn’t?”
Jackie smiles, placing her hand on my arm. “She misses the band and being on tour, and even though I know it wasn’t your fault, you should make things right with her.”
My stomach flips, and I let out an exhale. “I sure am going to try.”
“That’s all I ask. She’s a good girl, and she’s trying to protect you.
But if you push hard enough, she might come back.
She misses you terribly, Danger. Annalise has had the preparations for tonight to keep her busy, but I worry that once this is over, she’ll fall apart without you in her life.
She needs you… like I suspect you need her by the way you look at her. ”
I glance over my shoulder at Lunar while she talks with a guy who is clearly a chef, and she seems calm and relaxed.
Glancing back at Jackie, my eyes plead with hers. “I do need her. Every inch of me needs her.”
She reaches out, taking hold of my arm. “Then fight for her, Danger, because she wants you so bad it’s killing her on the inside.” She squeezes my arm and, with a warm smile, walks off.
I take a deep breath and nod, knowing I will have my woman back by the end of tonight. With one final glance at Lunar, I turn and head back to my table, taking a seat next to Ryan.
“So… how’d it go?” he asks.
“Strange, Lunar didn’t say much. I have to get it through to her that we need her back with us. I need her back with me.”
Ryan nods. “Good, ’cause you suck without her.” My expression darkens as I face him. “Just get her back on tour with us. Fuck what Luke says. The dust has blown over for the most part, anyway. And let’s be real. The merch stands are seriously suffering without her expertise.”
I sigh, resigned to the truth of his words.
I am painfully aware of everything.
And tonight, it’s time to make a change.