CHAPTER 35 Penny Calloway
Just Tell Her
“What happened?” Alexander demands when I answer.
“I’m sorry?” I say. It’s Monday morning, and the boys spent the weekend at Brent’s. He picked them up from my mom’s house and dropped them off on Sunday evening, opting just to text me with arrangements, so we haven’t spoken.
He hasn’t brought up my proposition. I was frankly sort of surprised he wanted to spend this weekend with the kids. I asked the boys how their weekend was, and they both said it was fine. I decided not to pry any more than that. If they want to share something with me, they will.
“I got a call from Calloway’s team this morning.”
“And?”
“And I’ve been informed that you’re no longer seeking alimony or child support provided you’re granted full parental rights with a relocation clause.”
My chest tightens. “Did he agree to it?”
“They sent over the revised terms to me this morning, and once you sign it and turn it in, we’ll file it with the court so that your trial date becomes the date your divorce is finalized instead.”
I sniffle as tears start to stream down my cheeks. I can’t seem to form words.
“I have to warn you, though. I strongly advise you to seek equitable distribution,” he says.
“I don’t want his money. I just want my boys, and I just want this to be over,” I say quietly around the lump in my throat.
“You’re positive,” he says flatly.
I think he was planning to really go to bat for me. He seems like the kind of lawyer who enjoys decimating his opponent.
But I don’t want to decimate Brent. I just want to close this chapter of my life and move on to the next with my boys by my side.
“I’m positive,” I confirm.
“I’ll send over the paperwork later today, then.”
“Thanks, Alexander. I appreciate all you’ve done.”
“Can I ask you a question?” he asks.
“Of course.”
“How did this happen?”
I clear my throat. “I guess I realized that more time with the kids was never what he wanted. He only cares about money and power. And now he gets to have that, and I get to have my boys without ever having to deal with Brent again. To me, that’s the real win.”
“I commend you for that,” he says. “I’ll be in touch.”
True to his word, he emails a link to digitally sign the paperwork a few hours later. I read through it on my lunch break, and it’s exactly what we agreed to.
I click the button to sign it virtually, and I feel a sense of relief that’s so overwhelming, I break down and cry right there at my desk.
A few people ask if I’m all right, and the truth is…yes and no. Yes, because this nightmare with Brent is about to be over.
But no, because I’m still incomplete.
I miss Liam. Fiercely.
And once this mess with Brent is over, maybe I’ll figure out some way to get Liam back.
My phone rings about an hour after I sign off on the paperwork, and it’s Everleigh calling. I wait to call her back until I’m in the car on the way to pick up the boys.
“Pennywise!” she answers.
“You know that’s not my favorite,” I mutter.
“Sorry, Penguin,” she amends.
“That’s better. What’s up, Beverly?”
“Did you know Izzy had the baby?”
“What?” I gasp.
“On Thursday.”
“Shit! Three days ago? I hadn’t heard! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“I’m so sorry. Mav and I took a quick trip to Mexico, and I was off the grid a few days. I didn’t think I’d miss the birth of my first niece, but she came early.”
“I should call Liam. Right? I should see if he needs anything.” I hear the questioning in my own tone. I’m not sure if I should call him or if that would be interrupting his time with his new baby girl.
I don’t even know what he decided to name her. I don’t know if he got everything he needed. I don’t even know if he has help. But I also don’t know if I should be interrupting him when he’s just getting his feet under him as a new dad.
“Is he okay? Is the baby?” I ask before she can get a word in edgewise.
“He’s okay, and the baby is perfect. How are you doing?”
“Well, miserable and ecstatic at the same time,” I admit.
“Miserable because of…?”
“Liam.” Just saying his name causes my voice to crack a little.
“Obviously. And the joy?”
“Earlier today I signed the final agreement that we’re submitting to the judge to finally be out of this thing with Brent.”
“Holy shit, Pen! Are you serious?”
“I am.” It’s harder telling the good news to Everleigh without being able to tell Liam, and I hate that this is where I am.
He’s still in my mind and stamped on my heart, which makes it awfully damn hard not to think about him when I’m talking to her.
Especially since I want to know every detail about the birth, the baby, and Liam as a dad…
all things I don’t feel comfortable asking the woman who is supposed to be my best friend.
The woman I always shared everything with until her younger brother became part of the equation.
“Tell me you’re making out like a fucking bandit after what that prick did to you,” she says.
“I told him I wanted full parental control of the boys and nothing else. He took me up on it.”
“Full control?” she repeats. “Like as in…he’s out of the picture?”
“I woke up in a cold-sweat-near-panic attack one night and realized exactly what he wanted. It wasn’t more time with the boys.
It was ducking out of the responsibility altogether.
He didn’t spend any time with them on his weekends.
I always bragged about what a good father he was, but the truth was that I was a good enough mother to make him look good, too.
I don’t want his money. I just want my boys, and I want to never have to deal with Brent Calloway again. ”
“Holy hell. Are you sure you’re okay, babe?”
“Except for the broken heart that has zero to do with my dickwad of an ex, I’ve never been better.” The highs and lows of the last few weeks are nothing short of totally weird.
“Madden said they’re getting close to the verdict, so I’ll be in Chicago in a few days. Meet me for lunch or something, okay? Maybe I can talk you into relocating to Vegas to come work with me. I’ve got Ivy talked into it. Helps that her best friend is married to Dex and lives here.”
I laugh. “I’m not sure Vegas is where I want to land, but I’ll definitely consider the offer.”
Vegas is closer to San Diego than Chicago is, but it’s still not the same as what we had when the boys and I moved in temporarily with Liam. I want that dynamic back.
But he’s a daddy now. He’s got a baby to consider, and if he needed me, he would’ve called. Instead, it seems like he’s doing just fine without me.
He’s okay, according to his sister.
And as much as I want to call him, to check on him, to be there for him, and to crawl back into his arms, if he hasn’t reached out now that he has a newborn…then I don’t want to be the one to upset the delicate balance he must’ve found since writing me out of his story.
“I gotta go,” I tell Everleigh as I pull into the pickup line.
“Love you. Talk to you soon,” Ev says.
“Love you, too.” I hang up just as the boys rush over to my car.
They both jump in and get buckled. “How was school?” I ask.
“Fine,” Sammy says quietly.
I glance at him in the rearview, and his cheeks are a little flushed. My eyes slide over to Benji, who has his head turned toward the window.
Silence engulfs the car, and something is wrong.
Really wrong.
“What’s going on?” I ask quietly.
Neither of them says anything.
“Sammy?” I say quietly. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he mutters.
I glance in my mirror at Benji, and I see him tugging on his brother’s sleeve. Sammy rips his arm away and shakes his head firmly at his brother.
“Okay, talk to me. What is wrong with you two?” I demand.
“Just tell her,” Benji whines to his brother.
Sammy finally relents. “Fine.” He lets out a loud, huffy breath. “Dad said something before we left, and we didn’t want to make you worried.”
“What did Dad say?” I ask through a clenched jaw.
“He said we might not see him for a while, but he loves us and we should always remember that.”
“Oh,” I say softly, and my chest aches for my boys. They deserve a dad who loves them unconditionally…and un-manipulatively. But the truth is that if he really did love them the way a parent should love their children, he never would have agreed to my terms.
He would’ve put in the time and effort he needed to in order to make sure they grew up knowing him and his love. Instead, he put that time and effort into his career and his mistresses.
“Why won’t we see him for a while?” Benji asks, and I hear the sadness in his voice.
I’m in the middle of a busy street, or I’d pull over to have this conversation with them.
At the same time, it almost feels easier to have it this way.
I can answer their questions honestly, and we don’t have tablets or other people or video games interfering with our conversation.
I turn off the radio, too, as I sigh as I try to figure out the most diplomatic way to say this without ever tarnishing his image in their eyes.
“You know Daddy and me are going through a divorce, right?” I begin.
“Yeah?” Sammy says.
“That’s why we’re staying at Grammy’s house, right?” Benji asks.
“Right,” I say.
“And why we were at Uncle Liam’s,” he adds.
“Yes,” I say.
“Wait, why did we have to leave Uncle Liam's house?” Sammy asks.
“It’s complicated. He’s leaving for San Diego, and I thought it was best we left when he’s not in town. And with your dad, well, the judge decided that it was best if you stay with me all the time to keep things consistent.”
“What’s consistent mean?” Benji asks.
“Hm,” I murmur as I try to think through the definition of the word. I can never think of what something means when I’m put on the spot, and Benji’s always asking me what things mean.
“It means like the same,” Sammy says.
“Yes! That’s right,” I say. “Stable, normal, regular. My job is to love you and to keep you safe, and it’s okay to be upset or to be happy or to feel however you feel about all of it. You can always tell me anything, and we’ll work through it together. Okay?”
“Okay,” Benji says, my sweet little agreeable baby.
“No,” Sammy mutters.
“No?” I ask.
He starts to cry, and dammit, I wish I could hold him. “It sucks! First we lose Uncle Liam, and then we lose Dad.”
I wish I could point out that they never saw Dad, that they deserved so much better than someone who pawned them off on a nanny every weekend, but I keep my mouth shut on that one.
“I’m so, so sorry about all of this, baby,” I say softly. “But you have me, and you have Grammy. And I’m going to work hard to make things better for us. Okay?”
Sammy cries quietly, and when I glance in the mirror, I see Benji kick his leg in some five-year-old’s attempt to try to cheer him up.
“Stop!” Sammy yells at him.
I think I’m going to have my hands full with these two...but there’s no challenge I’m more equipped for.