Chapter 45
Iwas shaking with need, which was insane, considering I had just come on his mouth a moment ago.
But March was on top of me, his weight crushing me in the best possible way, his naked chest against my own, my juices on his lips, on his tongue. When he kissed me, I tasted myself on him, and my entire body came alive again.
More. I wanted so much more.
My hands moved between us down to his stomach, to the button of his pants, and March growled, pressed his forehead to mine with his eyes squeezed shut.
“Velvet,” he said, like my name was a warning.
“I want all of you. I want everything,” I whispered, and I might be shy about it tomorrow, but right now if I didn’t have him, I wasn’t going to survive the hour.
Slowly he opened his eyes and looked at me. “Are you sure about this? Absolutely sure?”
“I am,” I said without hesitation, and undid the button of his pants. “It was always going to be you, Heartling.” I wasn’t sure how I knew this with such certainty, but I did.
He brought his hand to my face and grabbed my jaw, looked at me like he wanted me to see the soul behind his eyes.
“You belong to me, now and always,” he whispered under his breath, so low I barely heard him.
And it sounded exactly right.
When he kissed me again, it was different. Slower but heavier—a new level of connection. I savored the taste of him as my shaking hands worked the zipper of his pants and slid a hand under his pants to touch his hard cock.
Warm. Smooth. Big. So damn perfect I saw it in my mind like I knew exactly what it looked like and moaned into his mouth.
March hissed. Growled. Bit my bottom lip so hard he drew blood. He thrust his hips against my hand, and I cried out again, my own rising to meet him.
From then on, our every movement was more urgent, uncontrolled, desperate.
I knew it hurt the first time. I had friends and cousins back home who’d told me all about it. I always thought I wouldn’t want to, knowing that, but pain didn’t scare me right now. Not being with March did.
I pushed his trousers and his underwear down as well as I could, and when he fell on top of me again, his length pressed against my folds. My eyes rolled back. My mind was twisted, a part of me certain that I knew the sensation perfectly, another certain that I was feeling it for the first time.
None of it mattered, though, when he moved up and down slightly, rubbed himself against me. Whispered under his breath as he reached a hand between us, grabbed his cock and brought the tip right over my clit. Pressed his hips down harder.
He growled. I moaned. Both our eyes closed and we froze in the second for a heartbeat.
“Fuck, Velvet. How are you so soft?” he breathed against my lips. “How am I gonna want to do anything else after this?”
I understood perfectly well, only I wasn’t coherent enough to form sentences right now, so I couldn’t tell him I wanted to do just this all day every day for the rest of my life, too.
“Are you ready? It’s going to hurt a little bit,” he said, and I moaned into his mouth, held onto the back of his neck and nodded as well as I could.
“Breathe with me,” he whispered and lowered himself onto me a little more, positioned his cock right at my center.
Again, parts of me fought a war inside my head, but by now it was easy to ignore.
“I’ll take it slow,” he whispered. “I’ll be gentle.”
“Please, March,” I breathed, not entirely sure what I was pleading for.
“Hold on, Velvet. Hold onto me.” He sounded completely intoxicated.
I dug my fingers in his arms and held my breath, and…
March thrust his hips and entered me.
All the way. To the base.
No resistance. No pain. No nothing—just a smooth slide, and then I was full. Stretched really wide because of his size, but perfectly full.
Another moment caught us frozen in place. Our eyes opened and we were face to face, confused, delirious, in awe.
“Does it hurt?” asked March.
I shook my head. “No.”
And I knew what he was going to say. I knew he was going to ask me why I lied—except I didn’t. I would swear it on anything he wanted, on any second and any minute—I had been a virgin that day when I was about to leave home for Neverwhen.
Except March smiled. Grinned widely. Pressed a kiss on my lips and said, “We’ve done this before.”
He didn’t accuse me. He didn’t even suspect that I’d lied, when he’d spent his whole time here being suspicious of me. He knew just as well as I did. As my body did.
“I think so,” I whispered, in awe all over again.
“Tell me if it hurts, Velvet,” he said, and the second I nodded, he moved.
He pulled himself out of me just a little, then filled me again all the way. Once more, my eyes rolled back. I held my breath and held onto his shoulders, dug my fingernails into his skin.
He growled, but not in pain. There was no pain here, just pure, raw pleasure.
I wrapped my limbs around him and held him with all my strength, and when he moved again, I moved with him.
Time’s Teeth, everything fell in place the deeper inside me he entered.
I felt all of him against my walls, and the pressure was exactly right.
We picked our rhythm and moved like we were one.
The orgasm built in me so quickly again I would have been surprised if he didn’t feel like falling on clouds.
I didn’t care if there was a world around us at all—I just cared about him, his lips, his eyes, his cock buried so deep inside me I cried out his name like he was my creator, with every other thrust.
When I came, he stayed inside me, pushed himself deeper until he was all that I could feel. Until I merged into him, melted on him, became his for real, just like he wanted.
“You undo me, Velvet,” he whispered, and he held himself there still, eyes squeezed shut like this was painful for him. “I might not remember before, but I know you’d undo me every time.”
I kissed his lips, an overwhelming sense of hope and sadness taking over me suddenly.
“I always knew it was you, even when I didn’t remember. Even when I didn’t know you.” I kept choosing him because my body knew his. I kept going for him even when I was incapable of compassion.
March moved again. He didn’t take long to get to the edge, either, and when he was close, he stopped. Moaned my name. Kissed my neck.
“We have to stop,” he said, and I dug my fingers into his back harder.
“No.”
“I don’t have protection.”
“That’s okay. I’m on the syrup.” It was a yearly drug that prevented unwanted pregnancy, and Mother had made sure I showed up in time for my appointment since the day I turned sixteen.
“You sure?” March asked, and I nodded.
“I am, but…lay down, Heartling,” I said because as much as I wanted to keep going like this, I wasn’t done exploring him other ways as much as I wanted yet.
“Why?” March leaned his head back, looked at me suspiciously, but he knew.
I smiled. “Why do you think?”
It took him only a second to make up his mind, and when he did, he moved so fast I giggled. He pulled me up and rolled on the bed of leaves he’d made for us, and then I was straddling him, and he was under me, and he was so beautiful it hurt.
I would draw him, I promised myself, because I was never-ever-reven going to forget this, no matter where we lived or what became of us after this.
But for now, I pulled his cock out of me gently, and relished the way he moaned my name.
It was my turn to take my time, and I understood better why he’d wanted to before.
I kissed his neck and his chest, licked every inch of him I could reach, and he tasted divine.
He tasted like mine.
When I reached his pelvis, his every muscle was locked tightly in anticipation.
I ran my tongue on the lines of his abs, the V of his hips.
My hands were around his shaft, and I slowly moved them up and down.
They knew exactly how to move, how fast and how much pressure to apply, until I was sitting on my legs between his, and the smooth pink tip of his cock was right in front of my face.
So pretty, I thought.
March was looking at me, and when I saw the wonder on his face, my cheeks flushed. My tongue came out slowly, and I licked the tip of him while our eyes were still locked.
Creamy. Salty. So undeniably March that every inch of my skin rose in goose bumps. He tasted absolutely perfect.
Then I took him in my mouth all the way.
Some distant part of me that had been afraid I wouldn’t know what to do with him disappeared completely.
It was easy. More than that—my tongue craved the feel of him against it, and the weight of him when he pressed against my throat was exactly right, too.
I picked up the speed naturally, and the more I sucked on the tip of him, the louder he moaned, and the more the taste of him coated my tongue.
A minute in, my hair was in his fist, and he’d propped himself up on one elbow as he watched me like I was the most fascinating thing in the world. The closer he was to release, the harder he pulled at my hair.
When he came in my mouth, I knew exactly what it would be like, though I didn’t. The creamy texture of his cum slid down my throat with ease, and I swallowed as it came. While he whispered my name, he threw his head back, released my hair and pushed his hips up, chasing the high.
I swallowed to the very last drop, and when he fell back on the bed of leaves with a heavy sigh, I felt so perfectly accomplished it was ridiculous.
And I already wanted to do that again.
“I’m sorry, Velvet.”
I looked up at him as I fixed my tunic, entranced by the dance of the fairies that he’d brought to life again at my request.
“What for?” I dragged myself closer to where he sat watching me, resting his back against the wall covered in green. The cocoon he’d made for us still wrapped us in almost all the way into a circle, but we could still see the lantern through the opening.
“That night I was in your room,” he said, and my stomach twisted because I already knew exactly what he meant. “I went through your things. I searched your clothes, your bags. I shouldn’t have.”
“I remember,” I whispered, resting my head on his shoulder, and he immediately wrapped an arm around mine. Like that, we were both leaning against the wall, sitting on a bed of leaves, the stars over the canopy winking at us still.
The fairies danced and danced.
“You didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry.” A kiss on my forehead that I felt all the way to my curled toes.
“What was it?” I whispered. “What did you get back?”
“Can’t you guess?” He looked down at me, smiled a little, but it was a sad smile. “Trust.”
It made such perfect sense I wanted to smack myself in the head for not seeing it sooner.
“I’m sorry, too. For…not caring.”
“Don’t be. You did, even when we thought you didn’t.”
“I didn’t, though.”
“But you never hurt anyone once,” he insisted.
I never would have guessed this, either, but it made me feel infinitely better.
“We’ve done this before,” I said after a while. We both knew this, and my cheeks heated up at the mentioning of it, but I had to say it out loud once more.
“We have. My body remembers yours.” He brought his hand under my chin and raised my head a little bit so he could reach my lips with his. I melted on that kiss, and I held nothing back.
“Here I thought you hated me in the beginning,” I muttered with a lazy smile.
“I didn’t hate you,” he said with that chuckle my ears loved. “You just made it impossible to think straight, and I was angry at you for it. I also wanted you like mad for it.”
I kissed the side of his neck and he swallowed hard, then leaned down to kiss my lips again.
“And you always made it worse by just standing there like you were innocent, like you weren’t doing anything wrong,” he whispered.
“But I wasn’t!” I said with a laugh.
“You were owning my every thought. That seemed pretty wrong to me,” he said with a grin, pulling me even closer until I was half sitting on his lap.
Like that, it was easier to kiss slowly. Both of us wanted slow, even though we wanted fast, too.
I settled with my head under his jaw, eyes half open to watch the dancing fairies, my body perfectly relaxed, all my instincts at ease. He was magic, March. He was unlike anything in the world.
“What do you think he was like?” I wondered a few moments later, and March knew who I was talking about right away.
“Silas?” I nodded against his chest, snuggled closer. “I think he was…”
“Not the type of person to want the whole world to end?” I said when his voice trailed off.
“Precisely.” He kissed the top of my head again. “We’re being lied to, but I don’t know why.”
Words he could have plucked from my mind, one by one.
“I want to go to the garden when they’re done,” I said, nodding at the dancing fairies.
I’d been meaning to go there, and I couldn’t even tell why.
Something about the idea of Silas and that place that I couldn’t exactly point out.
The reason was in my head, yes, but it was muddy, and it kept slipping away any time I tried to focus.
“Then we’ll go to the garden,” March said.
So, we did.