Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Roxy
My belly squirmed as I looked up at him, his eyes were glowing gold, and that perfect mouth, those lips that I’d wanted to spend an eternity kissing were curved up slightly, giving me a glimpse of the tips of his fangs.
I drew in a deep breath to try to settle the flurries in my belly. Gods, he was so beautiful like this.
But then, to me, Lothar was beautiful all the time.
I should never have let it get this far, I should have said no. I’d told him nothing more would happen, I’d told myself the same thing, but as soon as the door closed and the space evaporated between us—when he touched me and told me he wanted more of me—my will to fight this dissolved to dust.
Getting out of this bed and putting some space between us was what I should do.
I needed to end this before it spiraled out of control and I said or did something that was dangerous, for both of us—but I couldn’t.
How could I do that when he was all I’d ever wanted?
I’d dreamed about being with him like this for so long, of having him back, having my Lothar again, and there was nothing that could tear me from this bed.
Smiling up at him, I swallowed down the emotion gripping my throat. I pressed my hand to his chest. His skin was hot, his heart thudding rapidly against my palm. He wanted this, me, badly. Still only a fraction as much as I wanted him.
There was a line we couldn’t cross though. But what I could do was make him feel good, make him come so hard he lost his mind.
“On your back, big guy,” I said, and I liked how my voice was still raspy after he’d made me scream his name.
His grin widened, then he dropped to the bed beside me and propped his hands behind his head. His biceps twitched and his abs tightened as he watched me, waiting for what I was going to do.
His jeans were still on, just shoved down, so I tugged them off the rest of the way, removing his boots as well.
He tracked me the entire time, and his nostrils flared as I crawled back onto the bed and straddled his ribs.
“We don’t have much time before we’re expected at dinner.
” I slowly dragged my nails down his chest. “So we’re going to have to be quick.
You might want to hold on tight there, Cookie Monster. ”
He chuckled. “You think you can get me off that fast, kitten?”
My nails dug a little deeper into his skin.
He was teasing me, using that name, like I was him, but he had no idea what it was doing to me, that every time he called me that, in his deep, rough voice, I was thrown back to the past so fast my head spun, and honestly, it was killing me.
I couldn’t let him see it, though, so I grinned and leaned in, letting my hair fall around us, and pressed my lips to his ear.
“Oh, I know I can.” I nipped his earlobe and kissed his throat, taking my time, something he loved, something he only learned he loved when he was with me.
I slid my hands over his shoulders and felt the goose bumps he’d always gotten when I did this. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” I said against his ear, then kissed my way down his chest.
His fingers slid into my hair, and I felt his stomach tremble under my pussy. “Yeah. Fuck. Really good.”
I continued to use my nails, dragging them over his skin, then following with more sucking kisses as I went.
His fingers tightened in my hair, and I doubted he knew he’d done it.
Everything fell away when we were together like this, it always had.
When the head of his cock bumped against my ass, I lifted myself over it and sat on the tops of his thighs, then wriggled lower.
He looked down at me as I took him in hand, then holding his darkened gaze, I sucked the head into my mouth.
His hips shot up with a growl, my name following, rolling from him all blended with his beast, so deep and raw.
Yeah, I knew how he thought he liked his cock sucked, but that wasn’t what I was going to do. Instead, I planned to do what I knew got him off so good, it made him fucking feral. Again, something he’d only discovered with me.
I teased the ridge with my tongue, working it, then sucked it into my mouth. I couldn’t get enough, and I did it over and over again, until he was panting hard and every muscle on his body was rock solid.
He hissed and groaned. “Roxy…”
Slipping a hand down to his balls, I massaged them, the way he loved.
His abs trembled, and he cursed. But I wasn’t finished.
Dragging my other hand down my body, I slipped my fingers between my thighs, sliding them through my pussy and slicking them up really well.
Then I slid them between his sexy, muscled ass cheeks.
On a deep growl, he widened his legs for me. I fought back my grin as I ran the tip of my finger over his ass, then finally, when he was shaking with need and growling constantly, I pushed one in, but just the tip for now, teasing him like he had me.
“Roxy,” he gasped, then groaned. “Fuck, kitten…don’t stop.”
This time kitten had just rolled off his tongue without thought, as if he’d been calling me that for years.
My heart squeezed in my chest and I sucked him deeper, stretching my mouth to its limits, and instead of massaging his balls, I gripped his thick length and stroked what I couldn’t fit into my mouth, which was a whole hell of a lot.
“Fuck…fuck, Rox. Slow down, baby.”
I wasn’t going to do that. The longer I was with him like this, the more I tried to convince myself that we could be together again, for real, that we could put the past behind us, that I could pretend that it never happened—and that I could finally have my happy ending with the male I loved.
As if all the awful, hurtful, heartbreaking things that came before had never happened.
“Roxy,” he choked out. “Baby…fuck. Slow down,” he said again.
I slid my finger in his ass nice and deep and found my target.
Lothar snarled, and his cock jerked in my mouth, then throbbed a moment before he shot his seed down my throat. He groaned and hissed and growled as I swallowed it down greedily, not letting up, not for a second, not until the pulsing of his cock slowed and his punishing grip on my hair eased.
I dragged my mouth up his length, sucking gently now, and released him with a delicate pop as I carefully slid my finger from his ass.
His gaze hit mine and locked on, while he panted hard, his chest heaving.
My heart was thudding hard in my chest, but I couldn’t show him how affected I was after what we’d done, so I smiled up at him and licked my lips. “Tasty,” I said, then quickly looked away and bounded off the bed.
He was silent as I flung one of the closets open and pretended I was busy looking for something to wear, pretended that I wasn’t completely tuned in to him, to every panted breath he took or every rustle of the sheets as he moved, then got off the bed, because I couldn’t be near him right then.
Not with that look in his eyes that felt like so much more than it was—so much more than it could be.
He was grateful for the best orgasm he could remember having, that’s all that look was, and I had to remember that. I forced myself not to stiffen when he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, then dipped his head, burying his face in the crook of my neck.
“Fucking hell, female, you’ve ruined me,” he rumbled roughly against my skin.
I rested my hands over his. “You think so?”
“I know so. Never come that hard before, baby. Not too proud to say that was some out-of-body shit you performed right there.”
I chuckled. “And you doubted me.”
“Fuck, never again.”
I leaned against him, letting his warmth soak into me, letting my guard down a little more. Letting myself have this, just for a moment. “I…I like being with you like this, Loth,” I confessed.
He pressed a kiss to my throat. “Me too, baby, and if you’re on board, I’d like to explore this some more? This thing between us.”
“I’d like that.” I felt him smile against my skin.
You’re being a stupid, reckless idiot. I ignored the voice in my head because I didn’t want to hear the truth.
“Right, we better get dressed and go down to dinner.” I stepped out of his arms, and he let me, then I glanced at the clock on the wall. “Shit, there’s no time to shower.”
Lothar’s eyes glittered. “Good, I want you smelling of me. I want them to know what we’ve been doing up here in this room.”
My mouth went dry and my swallow was audible. “Yeah…well, it definitely makes our story more believable.”
He shrugged. “That too.”
My heart flipped in my chest, then thumped hard.
Lothar wanted everyone to know I was his.
At least for now.
Showtime. I tightened my hold on the small ring box as we took the stairs.
Lothar was beside me, looking ridiculously handsome.
He’d opted to wear his own black jeans and a black shirt and dinner jacket that he’d found in the closet, the only items that fit him.
His long, dark wavy hair was in a braid down his back, and he’d removed any visible traces of mud and dirt, but he’d refused to do any more than that.
I was trying not to think too much about why he wanted my scent on him, but it was hard not to let myself fall deeper into the fantasy of us being together again.
Was it even possible? Could I be with him again?
Could I hide the truth of our past from him, from everyone? What if we kept our relationship secret? Would Lothar agree to that? Could I convince him to without telling him why?
Stop.
I had to stop thinking like that.
If he was to ever learn the truth, the consequences would be dire. This can never be undone.
Lucifer’s voice echoed through my mind. If Lucifer used the word dire, you knew it was really bad. Allowing myself to think there was hope for us was dangerous, for so many reasons. What we were doing now was bad enough, especially if I was right about who was behind the bid for Lucifer’s throne.