Chapter 8 - Sadie
In my first week working for Fern, I have to admit I’m happier than I’ve ever been.
I get to have a leisurely breakfast with Cassie before work, spend my day doing a job I truly enjoy, and relax with my daughter in the evenings.
Fern only needs me three days a week, so the majority of my time is spent with Cassie.
Happy… but not perfectly content. No way.
Sitting at the kitchen table with Cassie while she happily munches through some cornflakes, I stroke her hair gently, feeling my heart swell with love for her.
I keep my thoughts on what I have to do today and try to ignore Rhys’s step in the hall, but I still fail to keep my eyes off him as he walks into the room.
Sweet Jesus.
Rhys strolls in, whistling casually as he reaches up to run his fingers through his thick black hair. His bicep bulges, and I can see every single flexed muscle through the tight, white t-shirt.
“Oh, you made coffee? Great, thanks,” he says, going to the counter.
“No problem,” I say, trying to keep my voice even. Immediately, my mind snaps into my usual routine of counting the seconds I have to be in the same room with him, and how soon I can bolt.
“Good morning,” Cassie says, still munching.
Rhys gives her a playful nudge as he sits down. “Hey, kiddo. Are you going with Jean today?”
“Yeah,” she says happily. “We’re going to the big jungle gym and doing painting after!”
“That sounds fun,” he replies. “Do we need to pick her up?” he asks me.
I shake my head. “No, Jean’s picking her up soon, then bringing her back at five. We’ll be done by then, won’t we?”
“Mm-hmm,” Rhys nods, sipping his coffee. “I will be, if you are?”
“Yes,” I answer, chuckling. “Fern’s books won’t make me stay late, and she doesn’t seem to mind what hours I keep.”
“That’s good,” he says.
The conversation falls flat. The tension in the room rises steadily until it becomes such a high vibration that I can’t believe Cassie can’t feel it.
She seems completely unaffected, and when a car horn beeps out front, she jumps from her chair, gives me a hug, then runs down the hall, waving to Rhys as she goes.
“Bye, Mommy!” she calls. “Bye, Rhys!”
“Bye,” he says, smiling softly as he watches her go.
I feel a nasty twinge go through me, and I can’t identify the emotion.
They’re getting so close. Cassie is always laughing and playful now. I can’t deny that this is good for her, but how can I possibly stay here?
“We should get going,” Rhys says, breaking the silence.
I nod, putting my cup in the sink, then go out to wait for him by the car.
I’d rather drive myself, but he wouldn’t allow it. To be completely honest, I can’t promise I won’t try to run.
The nasty twinge in my chest deepens, becoming real pain. The deeper truth is, I know I couldn’t just take Cassie from here.
But what do I tell her? The truth? No fucking way.
We drive to town in silence. With the tension in the car strung so tightly, I feel like the windows would shatter if I move the wrong way. I turn and look out the window, doing my best to ignore Rhys.
That night when he took us out to dinner, he seemed to warm up to me a bit, and I was almost fooled. I know the truth now, though. I’m just an inferior human, and the only reason he’s putting up with me is because of the ritual and Cassie.
When Rhys drops me off, I don’t say anything, even though the silence is awkward.
Trying to say anything meaningful would be even more awkward.
I go inside, immediately soothed by the dark, cool rooms. On my way to the back office, I wave and say good morning to Lacey, the cleaner, and Trina, who helps Fern with inventory and storage.
“How’s it going back there?” Trina asks. “I found the entire operation too frightening, and her old computer screeched like a dinosaur the first time I switched it on.”
“Yeah,” I reply, laughing. “It took me a while, but I got the files updated and stored on the cloud. Luckily, it’s off-season now, and I can get caught up on it before we have tourists coming through.”
“I always wondered about that,” Trina says. “Does this place make any money?”
“It does,” I reply. “During the on-season, there is decent turnover, and Fern is always buying, selling, and trading items like rare books and artifacts. I’m slowly digitizing her process.”
“Good luck with that,” Trina snorts. “She thinks the devil is literally in the digital details.”
“I may have heard that,” I laugh as I turn towards the office.
“Hey, you want to have lunch?” Trina asks.
“Sure,” I say happily. “Meet you at the park?”
“I’ll be there,” Trina says, turning back to the main floor to work with the displays.
Back in the office, I dive into the books, organizing years’ worth of data into basic spreadsheets that easily show profit and loss and how to improve the performance of the museum over time. I get so absorbed by the work, I almost jump out of my seat when Trina knocks on the door.
“Hey, it’s nearly lunch. Should I grab something for you?”
“I’m on my way out,” I say, getting up. “Where are we going?”
“Steak house. I promised the boys I’d drop in with their lunch.”
“Oh,” I mutter, knowing which “boys” she’s referring to. “No worries.”
I sit awkwardly in the passenger seat in Trina’s car with Lacey in the back, and we make a stop to pick up Jane and Robyn, Trina’s best friends, before going on to pick up lunch.
Every roll of the wheels brings us closer to the “boys,” and I try to sink down in my seat like I don’t exist.
It will look weird if I avoid him. I have to do better than this.
We pull up out front of Rhys’s shop, and the girls all jump out, giggling with excitement. I follow behind, trying to look neutral if I can’t manage to be excited.
Trina goes up to the counter and flirts with Billy, a first-year mechanic. Robyn makes a big deal about personally delivering lunch and takes us all out the back. I can’t do anything except follow.
In the work area, the girls spread out, handing out sandwiches to the guys. I keep my eyes down, trying not to look too uncomfortable and hoping I won’t see Rhys.
I can’t take much more of our stilted non-conversation. It’s obvious he has nothing but contempt for me, and I can’t help but feel the same.
Then a pair of heavy boots pokes out from the bottom of the nearest car, which is hoisted up high on the racks. With a short swing and a jump, Rhys drops down, landing smoothly on his feet.
As he stands up, he brushes his thick black hair off his forehead, leaving a smudge of grease.
The tight white t-shirt is gone, and he stands before me in tight, faded black jeans and nothing else.
The slanted light from the big roller doors gleams on his sweat-sheened skin, and I feel my lips part as my tongue creeps to the corner of my mouth.
Oh my God… yummy.
Rhys approaches, wiping his hands on a rag. “Hey, girls. You bringing us lunch again?”
“Yeah,” Trina says. “We know you’d starve without us.”
Rhys takes a sandwich from her and backs away a little while some flirting goes on between the others. I let my eyes trail slowly over his body, getting completely lost in the moment, until I realize he’s watching me right back.
Fuck! Did he see me looking?
I clear my throat a little and move back towards the doors.
“Oh, you’re right, Sadie!” Robyn says, even though I didn’t speak. “We'd better get going so we have time to eat our own lunch. I’ll see you later, guys.”
There’s a flurry of goodbyes, and I manage to get caught in the middle of the group as we leave the shop. We drive to the nearby park and unpack our own food, and I hope to be able to think of something other than Rhys.
He’s hot. I’ve always known that. Of course I’m going to look at him. It doesn’t mean anything.
“So,” Trina says in a conspiratorial tone. “How did you like the look of Rhys? That was a real treat, huh?”
Oh, Jesus save me.
“I know!” Robyn squeals. “He dropped down out of that engine like an angel from heaven.”
“A big, greasy, dirty angel,” Trina giggles, and all the girls laugh.
“I don’t know,” Lacey says. “I kind of like Billy.”
“Of course you do,” Jane replies. “He’s so soft-spoken, you’d get to talk all the time, and he wouldn’t dare stop you.”
“The guys at the shop are hot,” Robyn says. “But have you seen Rhys’s friend from Diamond Springs—Owen? Now that’s a dreamboat.”
“I think you mean, tasty hunk of man flesh,” Trina says, taking a massive bite of her sandwich to emphasize.
“Who do you like, Sadie?” Lacey asks.
I just shake my head.
“She had her eyes all over Rhys,” Trina says mischievously, her eyebrows lifting up and down. “She just can’t admit it.”
“Maybe she’s going to put a love spell on him,” Jane quips, and everyone laughs.
“Seriously, though,” Trina says. “I have found old texts and ritual objects in the museum archives. There were legends of witches in these hills.”
“There are legends in every old town,” Robyn waves impatiently. “The only magic that really exists is love.”
“Hot, sweaty, passionate love,” Trina agrees, nodding seriously.
We manage to wrap up lunch without much more mention of the boys, and I’m relieved when the group breaks up.
“Hey, Sadie,” Robyn says before she walks away. “We’re going out for drinks tonight if you want to come.”
“Okay,” I reply hesitantly. “It’s just a casual thing, yeah?”
“Yeah,” she agrees. “Just a few cocktails with us girls. Nothing fancy. Trina will tell you where.”
“That I will,” Trina says sagely. “And we’ll mix up our magic potions of lime and vodka and call down the odds on getting lucky.”
“Shut up,” Robyn laughs. “You’ll be lucky if I don’t punch you.”
“Try me,” Trina says, bobbing her fists mockingly.
Lacey, Trina, and I walk back to the museum across the park, and Robyn and Jane go the opposite way towards the mall. As I go back to the books, I’m not sure if I feel excited or nervous about the occasion.
The last time I went out for drinks with the girls was probably the night I met Rhys!
I put in some effort to get my work done early, then tell the others I’m going for a walk.
“Okay,” Trina says. “I’ll text you about tonight?”
“Sure,” I reply. “I just have to figure out a babysitter.”
“No drama,” Trina says, waving.
Once outside, I take a side street that gives me a direct route to Rhys’s shop. The distance isn’t too far, and I find the brisk walk invigorating.
And what if I get there and he’s half-naked again?
To my relief, Rhys is out the front, fully clothed. He sees me walking up the street and waves, a smile springing to his lips.
“Hey,” he says. “I was just about to text you.”
“Yeah, I wanted to talk to you before you finished work,” I reply. “The girls want me to go out tonight, so I wanted to make sure you were okay to take Cassie.”
“Actually, I’m going out, too,” Rhys says. “Owen just texted me, and he’s coming over from Diamond Springs.”
“Oh,” I say, an uncomfortable feeling of regret and relief mingling inside me. “That’s fine. I’ll go home and wait for Cassie.”
Rhys looks at me for a moment, then finally shakes his head.
“No.”
“What do you mean, no?” I say in surprise.
“I think you need a night off,” he says, texting quickly. “I’ll just let Jean know, and she’ll happily take her.”
“But I haven’t been away from Cassie overnight—ever!” I protest. “She’ll miss me—”
Rhys holds up his phone, showing me a picture of Cassie with chocolate icing all over her face with three other kids. They’re all holding a big mixing bowl, and cake tins are scattered all over the table.
“Jean’s got a couple of other kids over with hers tonight. Having Cassie won’t make any difference to her. She’s in charge of all our childcare needs outside of school.”
“But—”
“But what?”
I stare at Rhys, trying desperately to come up with a worthy excuse.
I can’t. Because there isn’t one.
“I want you to unwind,” he says. “Relax a little, and have fun. You’re getting along well with the other girls, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” I admit. “It’s good to have friends.”
“Okay, then. Why don’t you go back and tell them that everything’s fine and you’re going to hit the town with them.”
I struggle for a moment more, trying to convince myself Cassie needs me, but I can’t get her happy grin out of my mind.
I’ve left her with a babysitter on countless nights to go and work. At least she’s with other kids and clearly having a blast.
I have to swallow a lump in my throat as I realize I’m afraid I need Cassie more than she needs me.
That might be the best reason to get out and do something for myself.
“Okay,” I finally say. “I admit it, you’re right. I’ll take a night off. It can’t do any harm.”
“Good to hear,” Rhys says, and the smile he flashes me hits me in all the right places, no matter how hard I try to deny it.