Chapter 31
SHELBY
Iwas raking up the hay in one of the outdoor pens, eyeing a specific chicken. I had too many birds to get to know them individually or give them names, but occasionally, one of them would stand out, like the totally white bird with the single black spot on its back that I was watching right then.
Should I give her a name? Maybe Dottie?
The sound of an approaching vehicle distracted me from my important thoughts. A fancy-looking car was coming up the long dirt road that was my driveway. It seemed way too polished and sporty to be out here.
It had to be Carter.
Shane was back in town, which meant he had probably fixed Carter’s car. My heart soared. Seeing Carter was always a welcome surprise. The raking could wait, and so could the serious decision surrounding a possible name for my hen.
I leaned the rake against the fence, took off my gloves, and walked down to meet him where he would be parking.
Noon was still an hour away, but I had been working since sunrise.
Today’s chores had been fairly light, but I was a little sweaty.
A quick sniff didn’t reveal any particularly offensive odors, though, so I figured I was fine.
If Carter said anything, I would tackle him into the dirt and make him as filthy as I was.
He pulled to a stop in front of me, and my smile felt huge on my face, excitement shining out of me like the sun. When Carter got out of the car, though, his stormy expression dimmed my sunshine.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, suspecting the answer.
“Your brother came to drop my car off at the feed store,” he said, shaking his head. “He was not happy that you and I have been hanging out.”
“Oh,” I said.
“Yeah, I thought he was going to hit me in front of everyone.” Carter ran a hand through his hair. “Jake stepped in, kept things from going off the rails, but Shane was pissed.”
I nodded and groaned. “I know. Shane saw us kissing the other day when you left the farm. He gave me an earful. I was going to tell you, but I didn’t know what to say. Besides, I’m a grown woman. I don’t care if my brother approves of my social life.”
“He says I’m going to break your heart.” Carter looked at me with anguish in his green eyes. “I’m worried he’s right. I’ll be leaving soon. I’ve run out of excuses to stay in Ferris. The thought of leaving you is killing me, and I don’t want you to feel the same way.”
“Too bad,” I said sadly. “I already feel just like you do. I can see the end coming, like I’ve fallen off a cliff and I’m waiting to hit the ground.”
He growled in frustration. “I’m so sorry, Shelby. I never should have let things get this far. I’m just hurting you all over again.”
I couldn’t stand to see Carter in so much pain. Without hesitating, I grabbed his shirtfront in my fists and pulled. His wide eyes looked down at me. “Carter, stop. This time we’ve spent together, short though it might be, has been incredible. Some of the best days of my life.”
Carter smiled. “For me, too.”
“You’ve given me enough memories to last a lifetime.” I stood on my tiptoes to plant a quick kiss on his lips. “Whatever has to happen now, I’ll never regret it.”
“Shelby, I l—”
I put my fingers to his lips and shook my head. “Don’t you dare.” Emotion choked me and I swallowed the tears down. “I’m keeping it together, but just barely. Please don’t make this any more difficult than it already is.”
He nodded. “You’re right.”
A wicked idea cut through the grief I was already feeling. “Do you have to leave right this second?”
Carter eyed me with a glimmer of heat in his gaze. “Not just this second, no.”
“Great.” I grinned. “Can I show you something in the barn?”
“You can show me anything you want, wherever you want,” he said.
I took his hand and pulled him along behind me, not that he needed any coaxing. Inside, the barn smelled of hay. Motes of dust floated in thin beams of light coming in through the old roof. Still holding his hand, I spun so we faced each other.
Carter’s warm gaze fell on me, the affection clear. “So what did you want to show me?”
“How much I’m going to miss you.”
I went up to kiss him, and his lips met mine halfway, unable to hold himself back either. Fire erupted inside me from our connection, like each of us was putting all our unspoken feelings into that one kiss.
My hands found his hard chest, rising and falling with fast breaths. One of his hands gripped my hair while the other squeezed my ass. Carter held on to me like he never wanted to let go.
With trembling fingers, I unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it open, revealing the firm muscles.
I kissed his chest while he helped me peel his shirt the rest of the way off.
My T-shirt and bra came off next and Carter kissed and sucked at my breasts hungrily.
My head fell back and I moaned at the feelings he awoke inside me.
My fingers tangled in his hair, holding him to me, urging him on.
Jolts of pleasure shot from my nipples to my core, making me ache for Carter, making me burn for him.
I reached between us and managed to get his slacks open.
My hands slid to his dick, taking the hard heat of him in my palms and stroking.
“Fuck, Shelby,” he grunted.
“You better have a condom with you,” I growled back, needing to feel him.
Carter pulled back and took off his shoes and all his clothing. He stood fully nude, his body painted in shadow, but one part of him stood out loud and proud, almost like one of the sunbeams was shining right down on it.
I probably added that detail in my own mind, or it was possible the thing emitted a light of its own, so glorious was Carter’s manhood. The singing choir of angels was definitely just in my head, but it was an accurate reflection of what was happening between my legs.
Frozen, I watched him get the condom from his discarded pants and roll it on. My mind was trying to etch every detail into memory. The V of his hips. The upward curve of his cock. The look of intense concentration on his face that I found sexy as hell.
He closed the gap between us in two long strides and pulled me close. His hand fisted in my hair, tugging my head back as he kissed me. Carter was taking control of my body with his. It felt like, after all my bossing him around, he was done playing games and it was his turn to take charge.
I loved this ultra-dominant side of him, especially since he knew what he was doing. I was happy to follow his lead if this was where it was taking us.
His other hand slid into my jeans and panties, finding my slick heat. His finger parted my lips easily, and my whole body purred at the sensation.
“Fuck, you’re wet for me,” Carter said into my ear, voice low and gravelly.
“What do you expect when you kiss me that way?” I rolled my hips to get more friction from his hand. “What do you expect when you touch me like this?”
He pushed his finger deeper into me and the heel of his palm pressed against my clit. I moaned without holding anything back, and Carter smothered those moans with kisses. I hit the tipping point fast, gushing over his hand while my whole body shuddered.
“Shelby, you’re so fucking beautiful. I can’t control myself.” Carter withdrew his hand and yanked my pants down.
He spun me around so I was leaning against the wall. Then he tore my panties to the side and lined up his hard tip at my entrance. I still wasn’t finished coming down from my orgasm, but my hips pushed back with a mind of their own.
His thick head pressed against me, and I gasped, my back arching, eager for the rest.
“I love you, Shelby,” he said like he couldn’t help himself. Before I could get mad at him, Carter thrust all the way inside me and I forgot how to speak.
Pleasure drizzled over my entire body like warm honey, filling me with sweet heat. Every long stroke of him had me moaning. My heart pounded as I braced my hands against the wall, needing it to hold up my shaky legs.
Carter gripped my hips for extra leverage, and he pushed deeper into me, finding a perfect rhythm to bring me to a fever pitch.
White light filled my senses as my orgasm washed over me. My back arched and I threw my head back, letting out a loud cry. Carter buried himself in me, and his cock twitched as he found his own release.
Time froze and nothing else existed in the world except us, joined together as woman and man.
Carter pulled out of me and took care of the condom. We got dressed and he held me in his arms, just standing there in the barn. We didn’t speak, choosing just to feel the moment, drawing it out.
Eventually, we walked out of the barn holding hands, and we went into the house for some lunch. I cooked for him, if sandwiches counted, and he helped me finish up a few more things around the farm that had to get done that day.
I didn’t bring up the fact that he’d said he loved me, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
My heart kept telling me to say it back, but my brain kept saying it would be a mistake.
I hadn’t wanted him to tell me, feeling it was cruel.
It would just make the wound deeper when he left.
That was why I didn’t want to say it back.
We talked as we worked, but not about love specifically. Neither of us wanted to face that head on, so we talked around it.
“I would never forgive myself if I didn’t at least ask,” Carter said, walking at my side through the chicken house. “Could you ever consider moving to Los Angeles?”
“It’s a beautiful idea but it can never happen.”
“You wouldn’t have to give up the farm,” he added quickly. “We could find someone to manage it.”
“I don’t want someone else to manage it,” I said simply. “This farm is my baby, and I’ll never give it up willingly.”
Carter nodded, understanding. “That’s the answer I expected. But like I said, I had to ask.”
“You could stay,” I said. “I could lock you in my basement and never let you leave.”
Carter grinned, remembering what he’d said to me when I saved him from the rain. “I thought you said tools like me go in the shed.”
I shrugged. “You’ve graduated from shed to basement.”
“I’m honored.” He shook his head and looked up at the uncaring sky. “But I have a business to run too. I could visit you, though.”
I nodded and swallowed the bitter taste in my mouth. “You could… but it wouldn’t be enough. Not for me.”
He sighed. “So what are we doing?”
“We’re saying goodbye.”
“I can stay in town for a few more days before I get a vote of no confidence from the Allory board,” he said. “We can make the most of it.”
We cleaned up and we cooked dinner together. Carter wasn’t much of a chef but he followed instructions well enough to make the mashed potatoes. I cooked a couple of steaks in my cast iron pan, which used to belong to my grandmother.
The food was amazing, and it was made infinitely better with Carter’s company.
But every time I started feeling happy, I remembered this couldn’t last, and I got sad again.
I tried to compartmentalize my feelings, keeping the sadness in a box while trying to enjoy myself with Carter in the short amount of time we had left together. It was a bit of a mixed bag.
After dinner, we crawled into bed and cuddled up together. That led to sex, which led to more cuddling. A deep note of despair chimed inside me as we lay beside one another.
“Carter, if this is ending, I can’t do this for another few days,” I said, not looking up at him. “It’s too much for me. I think it’s best if this is our last night together.”
Carter was silent but his galloping heartbeat filled my ear. He rubbed his hand up and down my back. “If that’s what you want.”
“I think it will be easier to have a clean break like that,” I said.
“Okay, sure. I understand.”
“Please be gone before I wake up,” I told him. “I can’t say goodbye. I’ll literally die.”
Carter pulled me closer and I wrapped my body around his, wanting to feel close to him even as I was pushing him away. “If you think that’s best,” he said quietly.
He kissed the top of my head. I cried myself to sleep on his chest.
In the morning, I woke up alone.