Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
TIMOTHY
Somehow, I held myself together long enough to pick up Sofia from the church. I’d smiled, even joked with my mom’s friends. I acted like nothing inside me was splintering.
I bathed Sofia. Read her two books. I tucked her in with a kiss to her damp hair while she blinked up at me, safe and soft and untouched by any of the pain trying to consume me.
Our house was quiet when I shut her door. Scattered toys littered the downstairs floor, bright, loud, and proof of a life that made sense. The chaos was almost everywhere, but not in my office. That was one rule about toys and mess. I needed somewhere to conduct business that was free of clutter.
The second I stepped out the front door I allowed myself to feel my reaction to Gia’s bruises.
I braced a hand on the railing, breaths going uneven.
Lights from the main Hurst farmhouse five hundred yards up a brick walkway let off the glow to alert me my parents were still awake.
Our houses were half a mile off the main road, far enough no strangers would be wandering around to see me.
All the dairy hands were well and gone for the night.
I’d handled seeing Gia who was so beautiful in those boots that reminded me of our long-ago conversation. I’d handled finding the bruises. I’d contained the anger and the need to do something. I’d stayed steady, controlled. Very controlled. Until I saw her face.
It was the way she looked at me. Fear, yeah, but worse than that… She’d been braced for judgment from me. She had expected me to see her as less. Underneath the strong, talented woman she’d become, she tried to hide something vulnerable and ashamed.
I dragged both hands down my face and dropped onto the top porch step, elbows on my knees, head hanging because I couldn’t hold it up anymore.
Bagel sat down next to me, quiet and there. I put a hand on his head for a moment but even that seemed like too much effort.
Gia hadn't moved, her luminous green eyes searching mine, but she'd somehow become smaller. She never used to let anyone see her bend, but now looked fragile. Someone had done that to her. Someone had hurt her enough to make her feel insignificant.
All I’d wanted was to pull her into me and not let go. I wanted to cover her up from the world, from the evil shit who bruised her, and from the look in her own eyes. I wanted to tell her no one should be abused like that. Ever.
She mattered.
Shit, she still mattered to me. I remained bitter about her shutting me down when I pulled out the L-word and fleeing the county right after.
Hell, my emotions were still as raw as the day it’d happened even though it’d been a lifetime ago.
I wasn’t ready to let go of her betrayal, but beyond that, she mattered to me.
I sucked in a breath that shook on the way down and didn’t come back out right. I wanted to see her eyes sparkle to life again like they had for those few minutes she was teasing me about having “fun”.
I pressed my palms into my eyes until sparks flared behind them.
I wished to scrub the agony of her reentering my world from my head. She left me more than sixteen years ago. She hadn’t wanted me or my help.
Logically, I understood she’d escaped an awful situation, which meant none of this should’ve still had a hold on her.
I used to picture her spending hours in therapy, learning how to live with what her father had done and somehow move beyond it.
Just like I’d sat through therapy after my youngest brother died, trying to untangle the grief and anger buried inside me.
Not that it had cured the anger. I learned how to hide it better.
That foul McClary bastard had gotten to her again. One look at her told me she was nowhere close to being free of what he’d done to her as a child.
“Fuck,” I whispered.
Bagel rested his head on my thigh as if sensing my hurt.
I wanted to drive over to Deck’s place to make sure she wasn’t there. I wouldn’t…couldn’t. If I found her in his bed, I’d kill Deck. Then I’d lose the only employee who reliably showed up for work, and I’d end up in prison for stupidity.
Someone dropped down beside me.
I flinched hard, shoulders jerking and heart kicking because I’d been caught contemplating homicide. I hadn’t even heard her approach the house.
Mom didn’t say anything. She pulled me into her.
At first, I was stiff, but then I gave in. It was never worth fighting her hugs. Mom gave me the kind of hug Gia had probably never had.
“This is about way more than Milly leaving the state, isn’t it?” Mom’s hand slid into my hair, brushing it back like I was a kid with skinned knees instead of a grown man who should have his shit together. “I saw it all over you when you picked up Sofia.”
“Yeah.” My voice scraped out, rough enough it didn’t sound like mine.
“Sofia’s fine. She doesn’t need that deadbeat mom. We’ve got her. You already have full legal custody, but I talked to the lawyer this morning to start all the paperwork to make sure there’s no way Milly can return in a few weeks or years and think she can take her away.”
“Thanks.” I swallowed hard.
She didn’t let go. “Who is she, then?”
I pulled out of her arms to get some space and turned slightly away like that might make this easier. It didn’t.
“What do you mean?” I asked, too quick.
“You don’t fool me.” Her tone softened, but there was steel under it.
“I’ve watched you try with women. First that girl you married, who rightfully divorced you within six months, and then Milly.
None of them ever got under your skin. They couldn’t reach you, or maybe they didn’t try.
It wasn’t this. This… What you’re feeling is the kind of thing that breaks people. ”
I dragged both hands over my face, pressing hard like I could shove the past back where it belonged. “A long time ago…” My voice faltered. I had to start again. “Back in high school…” Admitting it out loud made something twist low in my gut. “There was someone.”
Silence stretched, waiting.
“She…” I dragged a hand through my hair and caught my grip in it for a second before letting go.
“She saw through all my bullshit. Saw past what everybody else bought into. Wouldn’t let me hide behind it.
” I swallowed hard. “We were both a mess in high school. Mean and reckless. We acted out because neither of us knew what the hell to do with what we were carrying.” My throat tightened.
“She needed me.” The words came out rough.
“Her father…” I blew out a breath through my nose.
“That son of a bitch put his hands on her. Hit her.”
Mom sucked in a sharp breath beside me, the sound cutting through the night.
I stared out into the dark, but I wasn’t seeing anything anymore. “I wanted to save her from it,” I said, voice breaking on the edge of the word. “I thought if I stayed close enough, if I—” I shook my head, once, hard. “I couldn’t save her.”
“She died?” Mom’s voice cracked, almost a shout.
“No.” The word came out hard and fast. I dragged a hand over my mouth. “She ran. Just disappeared on me. Cut me out like I was nothing.” I shook my head once. “That messed me up for a long time. I was a bastard to damn near everybody after that.”
The memory hit like a bruise pressed too hard.
Back then, I hadn’t known if Gia was alive, dead, or safe.
I knew nothing. After a while, I dealt with it the only way I could.
I made myself believe she’d landed somewhere safe, somewhere nobody could hurt her anymore. Which apparently hadn’t been the case.
“It was so long ago that it shouldn’t matter anymore.” I looked up. “Now she’s back.”
Mom shifted beside me, posture going rigid. “Tell me you don’t mean—” She stopped, like she already knew and didn’t want to say it out loud. “Timothy Rylan Hurst, you tell me you didn’t fall in love with Regina McClary.”
“Gia.” I turned my head slowly and looked at her. There wasn’t anything left to hide. “I don’t know about love, but now...”
“Well, aren’t you in a pickle.” Mom whooshed out a long breath.
“He hurt her again.” I dropped my head. “She was all bruised up tonight and hiding it. She pretended she was fine, but she’s not. Not then. Not now. And I’m—”
I didn’t know how to vocalize it. “I’m figuring out how to handle all of it.”
“I don’t know where that poor woman is in the middle of everything.
I don’t know if you and her are something worth considering, but her family is on the other side of what threatens us.
” Mom’s voice stayed soft, almost prayerful.
“This land is our legacy. It’s our past and our future.
Jimmy McClary wants to take it.” She clasped her hands, knuckles whitening like she was holding something back.
“Timothy, honey, I need you to look at me.”
Something in her tone cut through me. I looked.
And stilled.
I’d seen my mother angry. I’d seen her disappointed. I’d seen her pray people into forgiveness they didn’t deserve. I had never seen this.
“I think it’s time,” she said carefully, like she was choosing each word before it could cut her, “for you to unlock that part of you that you’ve worked so hard to bury.” Her throat moved on a swallow. “That dangerous, ruthless part.”
A cold weight settled low in my gut. “No,” I started automatically. “That’s—”
“You got it honest.” Her hand came up, pressing flat over her chest. “It lives right here in me too.”
The ground shifted under my feet.
All those Sundays. All those prayers. Every time she’d told me to turn the other cheek, to forgive, or to be better.
Now she was telling me to give in to the thing I’d spent years in therapy learning not to be.
“You’ve learned how to control it. That’s what’s important,” she went on, voice dropping, steady as a blade.
“You can’t get yourself caught in a crime but help me protect what’s ours.
I don’t know if you need to be ruthless against Gia, but it’s important you figure out what side of this mess she’s on. ”
I dragged a hand over my mouth, breath catching halfway in. “Mom…”
She didn’t flinch. Didn’t soften. “We have to stop Jimmy from hurting our family. Perhaps from hurting her again too.” She held my gaze. “You’ve got cousins who make my hair want to turn gray and fall out, but they will help.”
I stared at the woman who used to wash my mouth out for saying crap. Something inside me cracked. Or maybe it finally stopped holding.
I exhaled slowly and let it slip its leash. That old, familiar darkness crept in, the one I’d caged.
It rose easy. Too easy. “I’ll get him. Somehow, we’ll stop all of it.”
The words tasted like something I shouldn’t want.
Mom smiled. Not kind. Not gentle but knowing.
It sent a chill racing down my spine.
“Hon, I’ve got a backhoe and about a thousand acres where no one will ever find a body.” Then lighter she said, “Hoping it never comes to needing it.”
Me too.
Plans clicked into place in my head, giving me a direction, even possibly hope. “I think it’s time for me to visit my cousin.”