Chapter 31 （continuation）
Caroline
Three days later, I’m going back to my office after a client meeting when my phone buzzes. I pull it out and smile when I see Killian’s name on the screen. Once I make sure no one is around me, I answer.
He’s been very good with not calling me at work. Usually I just get messages reminding me to eat and drink water.
“Hello.”
“You left your pepper spray at home,” Killian says.
I roll my eyes as I walk into my office and set my laptop on the desk. “That’s why you called?”
“You promised to keep it with you at all times,” Killian reminds me. “It’s basic safety, Caroline.”
I pout because he’s not wrong. It’s basic safety and he’s so cute when he worries about me. I was cleaning out my bag yesterday and I forgot to put it back in.
“I got a paper cut this morning,” I say instead. “Should I also stop using paper?”
Killian sighs. “I’m sure everyone who says you’re sweet has been lying our whole lives. Where does sweet Caroline go when you’re talking to me?”
“She’s still there,” I say. “She just likes her snarky side to play with you.”
“I appreciate the snark, but that doesn’t stop me from worrying about you.”
“Need I remind you that I once stabbed a man?”
“I can’t defend you if you stab someone at work or on the subway. I’ve never practiced law.”
I grin, sitting down at my chair and twirling around to look out the window.
It’s almost lunch time and I can already see a rush of people when I look down.
“Trust me, I’m aware. Besides, if a lawyer can’t help me, we’ll both be arrested for stabbing because I’m pretty sure you’re going to go on a murderous rampage. ”
“Too bad they won’t keep us in the same prison.” I can hear the grin in his voice.
“Should we be worried about how casually we discuss stabbing people?” I ask.
“I’m sure it’s psychopathic, but no one’s perfect.”
I laugh. “Did you really just call me about the pepper spray?”
“Do you want to go to a charity gala with me Saturday night?”
I sit up straight in my chair. “I’m sorry, what? You’re willingly going to a gala? You do know there will be people there?”
I can hear him rolling his eyes. “Yes, Caroline, I’m aware there will be people there. It’s why I haven’t attended in the past.”
“Then why do you want to attend now?”
“I thought you might enjoy it,” Killian says. “It’s for a good cause so I donate, anyway. It’s also a good networking opportunity for you. Surely some of the guests will get a divorce at some point.”
“That’s sweet,” I say. “Not the people getting divorce part. You don’t have to do this.”
“It’s black tie, so you’ll need a dress,” Killian says, ignoring me. “The only way I’m saying no is if you really, really don’t want to go.”
I don’t want him to do this for me. I’m still learning.
It will be years before I’m handling high profile cases.
The only reason I agree is because I want to see Killian shine.
I haven’t seen his famous artist side and I want to see how people respond to him in that element.
I doubt most of his clients know that he’s famous, and if they do, they don’t react to it.
“Okay, I’ll buy a dress.”
“I’ll see you at home,” he says.
We disconnect and I immediately text my group chat with Eve and Lilith.
Caroline
Emergency. Killian’s taking me to a charity gala and I need a dress.
Lilith
Babe, I’m pretty sure you know more about designer dresses that Eve and me combined.
Caroline
This is what I’m used to wearing.
I send a picture I took last year of me in a pale pink dress, which is admittedly beautiful, and also bland. I look completely nondescript and I want to stand out for Killian. More than that, I want to match his vibe.
Eve
You look cute.
Caroline
Exactly. I don’t want to look cute. I want to match Killian’s vibe.
Lilith
Okay, I’ve got you. I have a designer friend and they can help. Eve and I will meet you at the train stop tonight.
After confirming the time with them, I put my phone aside and grab a quick lunch before getting back to work. The celebrity divorce has gotten more interesting because our client is now being accused of cheating by the ex.
I climb up the steps of the subway station and find Eve and Lilith waiting. Lilith is wearing loose jeans and a white t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. Eve is wearing a loose black romper paired with a white tank top, her tattooed arms bare.
I have the thin sleeve of my blouse rolled up to show off my tattoo which is healing beautifully. I still feel some soreness and Killian told me that’s expected. It can sometimes take months for a tattoo to heal.
I’m not yet sure if I have to keep it covered up at work, so I’m sticking to long sleeved blouses which are appropriate for the humid New York summer.
“Hi, thank you so much for doing this,” I say, walking up to them.
“Don’t worry about it,” Lilith says. “Eve never misses an opportunity to buy clothes she’s never going to wear.”
“Those same clothes came in handy when your mother dropped by for an impromptu visit,” Eve says.
Lilith smiles at her, the two of them holding hands as we start walking.
“How’s work?” Lilith asks.
“Amazing! I love every second of it, and Aiden is brilliant,” I say.
“I can’t believe you love being a lawyer,” Eve says with a laugh. “Killian and I bonded over how much we hate lawyers.”
“A lot of people hate lawyers, but I always knew I wanted to be the kind who helps people, which was not something I ever wanted to mention to my parents. For them, being a lawyer meant sitting in your corner office and handling prestigious clients. Anyway, enough about them. How was your trip to the Catskills?”
“Lilith’s mom got sick,” Eve says.
Lilith sighs, and they launch into how their trip started off as a nightmare because of Lilith’s mother’s sickness. Apparently, she’s very particular about a lot of things. The more she talks, the more I think her mother is just like mine.
Since last week, I’ve had this strange urge to call them and explain myself. I know I don’t need to and anything I say, they’re not going to care for it. I want to get rid of this sick, twisty feeling in my stomach every time I think about them.
I don’t understand this guilt. I’m not a priority for them, and neither were my feelings. And still I can’t let go of this guilt. It gnaws at me, popping up its ugly head when I least expect it. I don’t know how long I can live with this anxiety.
“Here we are,” Lilith says, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I completely zoned out, and now we’re standing in front of an industrial building that’s been turned into apartments. Lilith buzzes the intercom and we’re let in, going up to the fourth floor.
A tall person in overalls and a mullet opens the door, smiling at Eve and Lilith.
“Lil!”
“Grace!”
The two of them hug like long lost siblings.
“This is Caroline,” Lilith says, introducing me. “She needs a dress for a fancy event.”
“You’ve come to the right place,” Grace says. They turn, leading us into their apartment. It’s mostly empty except for dress racks filled with garment bags.
“Where are you going?” Grace asks, as they shuffle through the dresses.
“My boyfriend is taking me to a charity gala,” I say.
I snap my mouth shut, a little surprised at what’s just come out of my mouth. It’s the first time I’ve said Killian is my boyfriend and I look at Lilith and Eve to see if they’re surprised. They’re just looking through dresses like I haven’t said anything odd.
I guess it isn’t odd. Of course, Killian is my boyfriend. We tattooed each other! You don’t do that with a casual acquaintance or a situationship. You do that with someone you want to keep in your life for a long time.
“What’s the vibe you’re going for?” Grace asks.
“Something that’s not this,” I say, waving a hand at my beige pants and white blouse.
“So nothing says you use summer as a verb,” they say.
“I’ve been known to do that in the past,” I admit.
“Try this.” They hand me a garment bag and point towards a room. “You can try it on in there.”
“Where did you get these clothes?” I ask, walking to the room.
“I designed them,” Grace replies.
I close the door of the room and I’m surprised to see that the inside is designed like a change room at a department store.
There are full length mirrors lining the walls so you can see yourself from every angle.
I hang the garment bag on the hook on the back of the door and unzip to reveal a dress that can pass as a nightie.
I breathe out. “Here goes nothing.”
Quickly shedding my clothes, I pull the dress on. It slinks down my body perfectly. The straps are thin, the neckline plunging and edged with lace. There are lace cut outs on the sides of the waist. I twist my hair up and while it is sexy, I don’t think it’s appropriate.
I open the door, and step out.
Lilith, Eve, and Grace stop to look at me.
“I feel like I’m in a nightie,” I say.
“I’m sure Killian wouldn’t mind,” Eve says with a grin. “Not sure I mind, either.”
“I have to agree with Evie on both counts,” Lilith says.
“I can keep the dress, but it’s not appropriate for a charity gala,” I say, blushing slightly. “It looks like something I might wear out to dinner when I’m on my honeymoon.”
“What you’re saying is, we need Killian to propose,” Eve says. “We can make that happen.”
“No! Oh my god! That’s absolutely the last thing I want!”
I’m horrified at the notion of being married.
Would I like it to happen one day? Of course.
But I’m not thinking about it right now.
I just got out of an engagement I didn’t want.
It’s going to be bad enough when our parents find out Killian and I are dating.
Imagine them finding out we’re engaged at the same time.
Eve and Lilith raise their eyebrows, surprised at my reaction, no doubt. Something about the idea of marriage right now makes me shrivel up. Not that Killian is about to propose.
“Can I please try another dress?” I ask Grace.