KAREN
The most worrisome part about raising children is not knowing who or what else is part of the process.
There’s school, teachers, friends, and neighbors.
Strangers—the people you never know who are part of your children’s lives.
Whether it’s a predator in an online chatroom or someone at the park your children hang out with.
Someone who sells them their first drugs.
Or the friend who shares a bottle and suggests taking a drive to a party in the town next door.
There are many scenarios, the invisible dangers you wish you had a laser-focused eye for.
But you don’t because there are many chapters in your children’s lives, and you are only one of them.
Alysha was independent way too early. She and Victoria. All I could do was keep an eye on them as much as possible.
That afternoon, after having my chat with Alysha, I got ready for work, slammed the front door shut loudly, turned on my car, then tiptoed back into the house and stood in the hallway, eavesdropping.
Alysha got on the phone with Victoria and went ballistic. Crying, having a furious fight. My ears curled at hearing the words coming out of her mouth. You couldn’t shock me with profanity. My best friend was Donna, after all. But that wasn’t how I raised Alysha.
She was angry like a hornet. “V! That stupid cow is lying, and you know it! He would never even come close to her. Like, ugh, seriously?… And Shorty is lying too. All those bitches are… Well, you don’t have to.
I’m still in. Yeah, whatever. He wouldn’t lie…
Really? Did you really just suggest this?
He said he wasn’t married! That she was a psycho!
I talked to him yesterday. Yeah, I don’t know who made that shit up.
I don’t care. No!… I! Don’t! Care!… Yeah, well, Dougie can piss off.
It’s none of his business. He’s pathetic… .”
She hung up and called someone else.
“What do you want, Dougie? None of your business. Ugh, just beat it… What? No, can’t be… Whatever… You are lying…”
A long silence followed. I thought she was done with the conversation when I heard her voice again. And she wasn’t talking to Dougie anymore.
“You bitch. You lied to me!”
I winced. You think you know your teenagers well until you hear them talk to another teenager when they think no one is listening.
“Are! You! Kidding me! You slept with him!… Don’t lie, bitch. You did! You did, didn’t you, you fucking slut!”
I cringed.
“You seriously thought that I wouldn’t find out? You are dead to me, you bitch. Dead! And if I see you around him again, I’ll kill you, I swear!”
I couldn’t bear listening to all the trash coming out of my daughter’s mouth. I left for the bar angry, simmering with hate. It takes years of meeting all sorts of people at a bar and seeing them at their worst to know how to read them, recognize them for what they are.
Alysha and Victoria didn’t have that experience. And Derek? If I ever saw him, I would call the cops, accuse him of something, have him put away for anything, even if I had to make it up.
It was barely eight in the evening, and the bar was full already.
I helped serve food, checked the patrons out at the cash register.
We were swamped. Summer heat wafted through the door, which was constantly opening.
No AC helped. Those drinking downed ice-cold drinks like water. Business was booming.
I was on my third refill of ice, only two hours after I’d arrived. Cherry, Katie, and Birdie were running behind the bar counter like chickens, smiles on their faces—days like those were their big paydays.
I liked doing what I did, running this place, even being behind the counter, serving. Most of the year, the bar was quieter, not like the old days when my grandmother Shirley ran the place. When the factories were booming, Ma Shirley’s Tavern was the hotspot.
I hummed under my breath, forgetting about the trouble that was brewing in my life.
Until I saw him.
Derek Sickler was by himself. That was an odd sight, considering every girl I knew talked about him. He slowly walked through the crowded bar, a drink in his hand—how about it? One of my girls had already served him, and that annoyed me.
He said hi to one person, then another, and then his eyes met mine. Like he knew where I stood. Like he knew I was watching. He didn’t look away, his lips curling in that arrogant smile I wanted to wipe off his face.
Cherry missed the sink and dropped half a bag of ice on the floor, the cubes flying everywhere.
I sucked my teeth and went to help her.
“I’m so clumsy, sorry, sorry,” she kept mumbling.
“Birdie, grab a bag,” I ordered the other girl. And while they were cleaning up, I served several beers, an old fashioned, and some appetizers, forgetting about Derek for a second.
Until I saw him at the cash register. Katie flitted up to him, setting a fresh drink in front of him, laughing at his joke.
No. Nuh-uh. That won’t do.
I made my way to the cash register and nudged Katie aside.
“Did he pay?” I asked.
“Not for this drink, no,” she started explaining, but I waved her to step away and leaned toward Derek. His smug eyes narrowed at me. He knew he was getting under my skin.
“You are not welcome here,” I told him, took the drink, and dumped it in the trash. “And stay away from the girls in this town,” I added. “Unless you want to deal with the cops. Go on, now. Out.”
“Is that how you treat your customers, Ma?” he asked, not moving.
“That’s Mrs. Boots to you. And I make sure that my customers don’t bring trouble with them. You? You should stop by the local precinct and have a little chat about your wife from Ohio. They are looking for you. Or you can stay here, and I’ll call the cops to come get you.”
His face changed, his handsome features hardening into a spiteful mask. I looked at the young man behind him. “What can I do for you, hun?”
Derek moved aside, and I had to make an effort not to watch him all the way to the door. I knew he’d leave. Nothing like a threat to call the cops, especially if his hands were dirty.
I took the next customer’s order, then picked up my tumbler and walked to the beer coolers. I brought the tumbler to my lips—I needed a whole bag of ice to cool myself after seeing Derek here again.
Cherry swung the cooler door next to me open, pulled out several bottles, then slipped and ran into me, sending the tumbler from my hands down to the floor.
“Oh my god! Karen! Gosh, I’m so sorry. I’ll clean up, hold up!”
Except I didn’t pay attention to her words. I gaped at the floor and the ice amid the water, the pieces sparkling in the bar light.
I frowned.
Cherry came back, lowered herself down to her haunches, and scooped a bunch of ice with her hands, then yelped. “Ouch!” She dropped the pieces back on the floor and stared at her hands. “The hell is that?”
Katie and Birdie came over and gaped at the floor.
“Is that…?” one of them said, but didn’t finish the sentence.
I crouched on my haunches and carefully picked up several glittering shards that looked like ice. Except they weren’t.
“Is that broken glass?” Katie murmured. “In your tumbler?”
I looked around at the bar counter full of people. Most weren’t paying attention. Derek was nowhere to be seen, but I knew he’d seen my tumbler at the checkout unattended and slipped broken glass into it.
I turned to Birdie, who stared at me, horrified. “Please, clean it up and throw away the tumbler.”
Then I went to the bathroom and threw up.